{"title":"FUNNY  RUDE MUGS","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIs your morning caffeine hit lacking personality? Let \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e upgrade your routine with our collection of \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"115\"\u003eoutrageously funny coffee mugs\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"150\"\u003erude novelty mugs\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eDesigned to spark shock and laughter in equal measure, these \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"61\"\u003einappropriate mugs\u003c\/b\u003e are perfect for the kitchen, the office, or as a savage gag gift for a friend. Every mug is printed to order, ensuring your chosen insult is fresh and vibrant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eShop the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"9\"\u003erudest mugs online\u003c\/b\u003e at Cucumber Dog and start your day with a dose of glorious, inappropriate humour.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"stirred-with-my-balls-white-mug","title":"\"Stirred By My Balls\" Funny Explorer Mug | Rude Novelty Gift","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Message from the Chairman: Adventure and Poor Hygiene\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIt has come to my attention that some of you fancy yourselves as \"outdoorsy\" types. While Sir Cucumber Dog prefers his adventures to involve nothing more strenuous than choosing between a velvet or silk cushion, he recognises that the common human enjoys pretending to be a rugged explorer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features a detailed, comic-style illustration of a man who looks like he has spent far too long in the jungle and far too little time near a bathroom. With a striking yellow speech bubble and authentic halftone dot patterns, it delivers a punchline that is as uncouth as it is effective: \"THIS DRINK WAS STIRRED BY MY... BALLS. ENJOY!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eIt is a blatant violation of health and safety standards, a social catastrophe in the making, and exactly the kind of distasteful humour that keeps life interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This (The Rationale)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e If you are tired of colleagues asking to \"borrow\" your tea or \"have a sip\" of your coffee, this vessel provides the perfect solution. One look at the adventurer’s weary eyes and the horrifying confession in the speech bubble will ensure your drink remains strictly your own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Visual Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e The contrast between the sophisticated, grayscale sketch and the vibrant pop of yellow creates a visual \"scroll-stopping\" effect. It is a piece of art that just happens to be incredibly offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Masterclass in the \"Long Pause\":\u003c\/b\u003e The use of the ellipsis in the text creates a moment of suspense before delivering a blow to the viewer's appetite. It is a brilliant piece of cheeky social commentary on the hidden \"ingredients\" of life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality for Primitive Humour:\u003c\/b\u003e While the message is questionable, the craftsmanship is not. This mug is made from high-gloss white ceramic, engineered to ensure the black ink and yellow speech bubble remain crisp through every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Meticulous\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVessel Sizes:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"38\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for your morning ritual or a generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"81\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those who need a substantial amount of caffeine to deal with their peers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy white ceramic for a professional look and a substantial feel in the hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eResilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is designed to resist fading, even if you try to scrub the mental image of the message away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e BPA-free and lead-free. We care about your health, even if the man on the mug clearly doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is This For? (The Victims)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Office Prankster:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who believes that \"lowering the tone\" is a professional responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Rugged\" Outdoors man:\u003c\/b\u003e A hilarious gift for the friend who owns a lot of khaki and hats but mostly uses them to walk the dog in the park.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Hard-to-Buy-For Brother:\u003c\/b\u003e If you need a birthday or Secret Santa gift that will cause an immediate family scandal, your search ends here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFans of the Absurd:\u003c\/b\u003e For anyone who appreciates a vintage comic aesthetic paired with a joke that is fundamentally \"too much information.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51532923208022,"sku":"9143870_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51532923240790,"sku":"9143870_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e8f1c5b312e.jpg?v=1777475359"},{"product_id":"i-think-i-was-adopted-white-mug","title":"I Think I was Adopted White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51533984989526,"sku":"1944465_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51533985022294,"sku":"1944465_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e9077a17d24-_1.jpg?v=1762771959"},{"product_id":"mofo-white-mug","title":"Mofo White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51534021165398,"sku":"5647338_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51534021198166,"sku":"5647338_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e908b002d46.jpg?v=1777475596"},{"product_id":"i-dont-fart-darling-white-mug","title":"I Don't Fart Darling White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51534061404502,"sku":"7840249_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51534061437270,"sku":"7840249_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e90a400578b.jpg?v=1777640338"},{"product_id":"inside-voice-never-met-her-mug","title":"Inside Voice? Never Met Her Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51534177108310,"sku":"9065682_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51534177141078,"sku":"9065682_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e90e4cc6f0a-_1.jpg?v=1762771744"},{"product_id":"i-still-owe-jesus-a-fiver-white-mug","title":"I Still Owe Jesus A Fiver White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51539733250390,"sku":"7033145_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51539733283158,"sku":"7033145_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68f8f3cf52b4a.jpg?v=1761145816"},{"product_id":"i-talk-to-myself-white-glossy-mug","title":"\"Talk To Myself\" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Only Intelligent Conversation Left\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has spent a considerable amount of time observing human interaction, and frankly, he is unimpressed. The small talk, the weather, the unsolicited opinions: it is all quite exhausting. He has concluded that the only way to guarantee a high level of intellectual discourse is to simply speak to yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on as you enjoy a private joke with the only person who truly understands you: yourself. The bold text reads: \"SOMETIMES I TALK TO MYSELF BECAUSE I NEED EXPERT ADVICE.\" It is the perfect vessel for the office eccentric, the home-worker who has gone slightly feral, or anyone who finds the rest of society to be a bit of a letdown.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Social Shield:\u003c\/b\u003e Hold this mug up during meetings to signal that you are already engaged in a far more interesting internal dialogue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are sipping an Earl Grey or a stiff black coffee, this high-gloss white ceramic ensures your drink stays warm while your social life cools off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDishwasher and Microwave Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e The Chairman’s scowl is engineered to withstand the heat. The print is high-definition and designed to resist fading, even after hundreds of washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e An ideal choice for that one friend who is legally prohibited from being \"the life of the party.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who have a lot to say to themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a vibrant, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your health so you can continue your solitary monologues in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51539734462806,"sku":"1262161_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51539734495574,"sku":"1262161_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7b1a3cafbb.jpg?v=1776793393"},{"product_id":"my-favourite-word-is-moist-white-mug","title":"\"My Favourite Word is Moist\" Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Linguistic Weapon of Mass Irritation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed that the human race possesses a peculiar, collective loathing for a specific six-letter word. While he, being a cucumber-based entity, finds the concept of \"moisture\" to be a sign of peak freshness, he recognizes that for you lot, it is the verbal equivalent of a damp handshake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eNaturally, he has decided to put it on a mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on with his usual aristocratic disdain as you watch your colleagues visibly shudder. The bold text proudly declares your preference for the most hated word in the English language. It is the perfect choice for the office antagonist, the professional pot-stirrer, or anyone who enjoys the silence that follows a truly uncomfortable statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Audit: Offensive Rating\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOffensive Rating:\u003c\/b\u003e 4\/5\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Quote:\u003c\/b\u003e \"Visceral. Unpleasant. A linguistic crime against humanity. Sir Cucumber Dog is delighted by the discomfort this will cause.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaximum Cringe Factor:\u003c\/b\u003e Most rude mugs use profanity: this mug uses psychological warfare. It is far more effective at clearing a room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vault Exclusive:\u003c\/b\u003e As part of our NSFW range, this is designed for those who have abandoned all hope of being liked and have chosen to be memorable instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"73\"\u003eCucumber green\u003c\/b\u003e accents stay vibrant while you ruin everyone’s morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s scowl and that dreaded word are engineered to resist fading, much like the memory of your poor social choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for when you have a lot of moisture to celebrate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a high-definition, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your physical health while you damage your social standing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51541216133462,"sku":"9160027_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51541216166230,"sku":"9160027_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e79cd9b7ab3.jpg?v=1776793781"},{"product_id":"sir-cucumber-dog-i-woke-up-buff-again-white-mug","title":"Sir Cucumber Dog: \"I WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eNeed a dose of delusion to start your day? This mug, featuring your brand's mascot, the impeccably dressed \u003cb\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e, delivers the perfect hit of sarcastic swagger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog—the plush toy pug in the \u003cb\u003ecucumber-print suit\u003c\/b\u003e, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle—may look dapper, but he's also utterly convinced of his own physique. The bold text, \"\u003cb\u003eI WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!\u003c\/b\u003e\" makes this the ultimate \u003cb\u003efunny gift\u003c\/b\u003e for anyone who frequently skips leg day, struggles with morning routines, or just loves self-deprecating, \u003cb\u003erude humour\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eIt's a brilliant \u003cb\u003egag gift\u003c\/b\u003e for a gym-goer who takes themselves too seriously, a brilliant \u003cb\u003esarcastic coffee mug\u003c\/b\u003e for a colleague, or a perfect treat for yourself. Forget fitness, focus on the funny!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDesign:\u003c\/b\u003e Features the dapper pug, Sir Cucumber Dog, and the highly confident text, \"\u003cb\u003eI WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!\u003c\/b\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTone:\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cb\u003eRude, funny, sarcastic\u003c\/b\u003e, and slightly \u003cb\u003eoffensive\u003c\/b\u003e (to fitness fanatics).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality ceramic mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSizes:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7,3,1\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,1,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz (Standard Size):\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for a quick caffeine boost.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,1,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e15oz (Large Size):\u003c\/b\u003e For when you need extra time to admire your 'gains'.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Microwave and dishwasher safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePlease Note: We Print This Fresh For You\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe don't keep a massive, dusty pile of stock. To be kinder to the planet (and avoid a ridiculous pile-up of buff pugs), we print your mug especially for you as soon as you place an order.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis means we need a little time to work our magic to print, perfect, and pack your order before it ships. We promise it's worth the wait!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51620209066326,"sku":"3380572_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51620209099094,"sku":"3380572_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e75870dcbb1.jpg?v=1776769146"},{"product_id":"anal-applause-white-mug","title":"Anal Applause White Mug","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Standing Ovation for the Audibly Offensive\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eIt has come to the Chairman’s attention that certain rhythmic, biological acoustics are a source of pride for some of you. While Sir Cucumber Dog finds the mechanics of the human digestive system entirely vulgar, he cannot help but admire a human who seeks a founding membership for it. This premium ceramic mug officially welcomes you to the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"343\"\u003eAnal Applause Appreciation Society\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eDesigned for those who have abandoned all hope of social acceptance, this vessel features a sophisticated \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"106\"\u003eCucumber cream\u003c\/b\u003e background. The design is anchored by a regal, ornate green banner with gold-style detailing, providing a level of Victorian elegance that makes the phrase \"Anal Applause\" look surprisingly high-class. Centre stage is Sir Cucumber Dog himself: dressed in his signature cucumber-print suit and monocle, wearing an expression of intense, aristocratic disdain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Social Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Bringing this into a professional environment is a definitive power move. It ensures that no one will ever ask you to lead a \"wellness seminar\" or volunteer for the office tea round again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e We do not trade in flimsy kitchenware. This is crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the Cucumber green banner and yellow bow tie remain crisp and vibrant through every use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eResistant to Shame and Detergent:\u003c\/b\u003e Built to handle the heat of a Monday morning or the late-night tea rounds, this mug is fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is engineered to resist fading, even if you try to wash away the mental image.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Unfiltered\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11oz Standard:\u003c\/b\u003e The classic choice for a quick hit of caffeine or a modest tea. Perfect for those who prefer their insults concentrated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15oz Mega:\u003c\/b\u003e For those who require a substantial amount of liquid to cope with their social isolation. More mug means more room for judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy white ceramic with a full-wrap Cucumber cream finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely BPA-free and lead-free. Sir Cucumber Dog cares about your health, even if you clearly do not care about your reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51647140200790,"sku":"5894601_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51647140233558,"sku":"5894601_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7650611e18.jpg?v=1776772791"},{"product_id":"two-brain-cells-mug","title":"Two Brain Cells Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Scientific Analysis of Modern Intelligence\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIt has come to the Chairman’s attention that many of you are operating on a severely limited internal processing unit. Sir Cucumber Dog has observed that for most of the population, there are exactly two brain cells remaining: and they are currently fighting for third place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is not just a mug, it is a diagnostic tool for your office environment. Whether you are drinking a robust English breakfast tea or a double espresso to jumpstart your own stalled neurons, this mug serves as a constant reminder of the intellectual desert you navigate daily. Featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature cucumber print suit and monocle, looking on with a mixture of pity and aristocratic boredom, it is the ultimate gift for the person who is tired of explaining simple concepts to their colleagues.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Social Commentary:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the most sophisticated way to tell someone they are a few sandwiches short of a picnic without actually saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic to ensure the vibrant Cucumber green and yellow accents pop against the pristine background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Just because the subject matter is flimsy doesn't mean the mug is. This is a sturdy piece of kitchenware designed to withstand the dishwasher and the microwave.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eUniversal Truth:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are in a boardroom or a break room, the message remains painfully relevant. It is a masterclass in British sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in 11oz for a standard hit of caffeine, or 15oz for those who need extra volume to cope with the surrounding mediocrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely BPA and lead-free. We care about your health, even if we have given up on your intellectual potential.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrint Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e We use elite printing partners to ensure the Chairman’s scowl remains crisp and judgemental for years to come.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51647539118422,"sku":"3837852_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51647539151190,"sku":"3837852_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Sir_Cucumber_Dog_the_pug_and_the_text_Two_Brain_Cells_Fighting_for_Third_Place_in_bold_black_and_green_lettering._cucumber_dog.jpg?v=1779801615"},{"product_id":"i-still-owe-jesus-a-fiver-mug","title":"I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER! Mug","description":"Some debts are eternal, but this one is just plain awkward. Embrace the blasphemous banter with this bold, bright, and unapologetically rude mug.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis design isn't just for anyone; it's the perfect gift for the older one in your life. We’re talking about that friend or relative who is so vintage they were probably around when water was first being turned into wine. If they’re reaching an age where they’ve seen it all (and forgotten half of it), this funny over-the-hill gift will give them a proper laugh.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeaturing the high-contrast combo of our signature lime green text against a deep purple background, this mug screams financial failings from a bygone era. Whether they’re a retired legend with a dark sense of humour or just someone who enjoys a bit of offensive banter, this is the ultimate conversation starter.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nKey Features:\u003cbr\u003e\nDesign: Bold lime green typography on a purple background reading: \"I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER!\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Perfect \"Old Person\" Gift: An ideal funny 50th, 60th, or 70th birthday gift for someone who’s been around since the beginning of time.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTone: Funny, irreverent, offensive, and sarcastic.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMaterial: High-quality ceramic that’s built to last longer than your repayment plan.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSizes: * 11oz (Standard): The classic choice for a standard tea or coffee.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n15oz (Large): For those days when you need extra caffeine to remember where you left your keys.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDurability: Microwave and dishwasher safe—because life is too short for hand-washing.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Coasters \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52212910391638,"sku":"6771693_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52212910424406,"sku":"6771693_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-695be15eed8fd.jpg?v=1767629180"},{"product_id":"i-dont-like-you-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"I Don't Like You\" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHonesty is the best policy. Usually.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSome mornings, you just need to let the world know exactly where they stand before you’ve even finished your first coffee. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"128\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e mug features the iconic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"165\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e in his signature green suit, delivering the blunt, sarcastic message that everyone else is thinking, but only you (and the pug) are brave enough to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eWhether it’s for the office, the kitchen, or as a gift for that one person who appreciates a bit of \"rude and funny\" humor, this mug is the ultimate conversation starter (or finisher).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eWhy it’s better than your average mug:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Approved:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality print featuring the most judgmental pug in the business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Two Moods:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"49\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a quick caffeine hit, or a massive \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"94\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those days when \"I don't like you\" needs to last all morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Real Life:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e doesn't expect you to do the washing up by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafe for Humans:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free ceramic, ensuring your sarcasm remains the only toxic thing in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eCrafted to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eAt \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"3\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e, we don’t believe in dusty warehouses. Your mug is created specifically for you the moment you order it. This reduces waste and ensures your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"157\"\u003efunny pug gift\u003c\/b\u003e arrives fresh and ready to offend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping.\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog covers the delivery costs on every single order. No hidden fees, just zero bullsh*t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52779887427926,"sku":"6741091_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aec12f6e722.jpg?v=1776700214"},{"product_id":"my-social-battery-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"My Social Battery\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52780347621718,"sku":"5035567_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52780347654486,"sku":"5035567_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aed7e388d27.jpg?v=1776679409"},{"product_id":"stupid-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Stupid\" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Pug Design","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52780783894870,"sku":"8544538_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52780783927638,"sku":"8544538_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aee12452b32.jpg?v=1776679337"},{"product_id":"grumpy-aristocrat-this-could-have-been-an-email-white-mug","title":"Grumpy Aristocrat - 'This Could Have Been An Email' White Mug","description":"Sip Your Silent Judgment in Sophisticated Cucumber Style.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIntroduce your beverage to a level of weary sophistication it never knew it needed. The Grumpy Aristocrat mug, featuring our defining design from the Sir Cucumber Dog collection, is more than a cup; it's a statement.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCrafted from high-quality white ceramic, this 11oz mug is the physical incarnation of every moment spent in a meeting that should, frankly, have been an email. The centerpiece is our meticulous grumpy aristocratic bulldog, adorned in his tailored patterned waistcoat and sporting his signature, judgmental cucumber slice monocle. He is a master of efficient disdain, silently asking the hard questions: Why are we here? Is there a faster way to ignore you?","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52788627767638,"sku":"1110743_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52788627800406,"sku":"1110743_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b00a1ccd7b6.jpg?v=1776678971"},{"product_id":"current-mood-pretending-to-work-mug-funny-office-gift","title":"The Pretending to Work Ceramic Mug: Professional Loitering for the Elite","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eMost people call it career progression. Sir Cucumber Dog calls it a pathetic display of digital loitering. If you have spent more time refreshing your inbox than actually responding to it, you are in excellent, albeit lazy, company. This mug is the official uniform for anyone who has mastered the art of looking intensely busy while actually wondering what a pug does for a pension.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Corporate Deception\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing the Chairman himself dressed in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, this design provides the exact level of judgement your workspace currently lacks. Set against a vibrant Cucumber green background, the bold white text makes it clear that you are not just working: you are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"292\"\u003ePRETENDING TO WORK\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eJudgemental Aesthetics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in high definition, squinting through his monocle at your open browser tabs and questionable search history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Strategic Founder:\u003c\/b\u003e The brand was born when our founder, Jason, decided that managing a rebellious skeleton was a full time job in itself. He realised that sitting in a comfortable chair and looking busy was a far superior career path. This mug is a tribute to that realization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Just because you are lazy does not mean your mug should be. Made from high quality ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eZero Waste Production:\u003c\/b\u003e We make these on demand to avoid the clutter of overproduction. It is a thoughtful approach that the Chairman finds tolerable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning Loafer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you need a small dose of caffeine or a massive bucket of tea to get through your fake meetings, we have you covered:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Both sizes are dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously covered the delivery cost. We will get your new favourite mug to your doorstep without any extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52788673249622,"sku":"3424714_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52788673282390,"sku":"3424714_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b00b9c8d325.jpg?v=1776441618"},{"product_id":"i-tried-being-normal-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift","title":"\"I Tried Being Normal\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eAdmit it: you gave \"normal\" a go once and it was a total nightmare. If you prefer a bit of character over conformity, this is the daily reminder that your eccentricities are your best feature. Being ordinary is, quite frankly, exhausting. Sir Cucumber Dog is here to make sure you never have to try it again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVisual Description: The Pug with Elegant Disdain\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThis high-gloss white ceramic mug features the one and only \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e. Our iconic plush toy pug mascot is looking particularly unimpressed in his tailored Cucumber green suit, yellow bow tie, and signature cucumber monocle. Framed by bold typography, the message is clear: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"280\"\u003e\"I TRIED BEING NORMAL. WORST 5 MINUTES OF MY LIFE!\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a design that delivers maximum judgemental energy to anyone in your line of sight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Need This Mug\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eWhether you are navigating a tedious office meeting or hiding from the world at home, let the pug do the talking. Simply tilt the mug to reveal your truth to the room, sip your tea, and celebrate the fact that you survived those five minutes of being ordinary. It is the perfect vessel for anyone who prefers their caffeine with a side of elegant disdain and a cold, hard truth about fitting in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Highlights \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Every Mood:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a classic brew or a generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"88\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those mornings when you need extra strength to face the \"normal\" world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIconic Mascot Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly printed to ensure the signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream palette stays vibrant and sharp.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Upkeep:\u003c\/b\u003e This dishwasher and microwave safe coffee cup ensures you have better things to do than stand at the sink performing manual labour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eToxic-Free Sipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Enjoy your brew in premium ceramic that is completely lead and BPA-free for a cleaner, safer experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSustainable Crafting:\u003c\/b\u003e Each unique mug is created specifically for you the moment you order, reducing waste and bypassing the soul-crushing boredom of mass production.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is It For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Eccentric Soul:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who has always been a bit \"different\" and is fiercely proud of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Pug Obsessive:\u003c\/b\u003e A sophisticated upgrade from the usual dog-themed gifts, featuring a plush pug with a monocle and a mission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Sarcastic Office Worker:\u003c\/b\u003e The ideal companion for the colleague who is one tedious meeting away from a total meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52789558772054,"sku":"7419443_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52789558804822,"sku":"7419443_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0181e48e43.jpg?v=1776440883"},{"product_id":"not-a-morning-or-afternoon-person-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Not a Morning Person\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe funny rude mug for people who are not a morning person… or an afternoon person.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLet’s be honest. Time doesn’t matter when you’re simply not built for human interaction. Whether it’s 8:00 AM or 3:00 PM, the vibe is the same: absolutely not. This funny rude mug is made for anyone who runs on caffeine, sarcasm, and minimal conversation.\u003cbr\u003eFeaturing the ever-unimpressed Cucumber Dog, suited, monocled, and judging the entire concept of “being approachable,” this funny coffee mug delivers your message loud and clear:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI’M NOT A MORNING PERSON. OR AN AFTERNOON PERSON.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s the perfect sarcastic mug for your desk, a brilliant funny gift for introverts, and an essential tool for keeping small talk at a safe distance while you sip in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhy this mug is a mood:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Approved: Features the original pug in a suit for maximum judgment.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo Sizes Available: Choose the 11 oz for a quick brew or the 15 oz for those days when human interaction is particularly difficult.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuilt to Last: High-gloss white ceramic that is lead and BPA-free.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEasy Maintenance: Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because you definitely aren't a \"washing up person\" either.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePicture this on your desk or kitchen counter, quietly warning the world before anyone attempts conversation. No awkward chats. No forced enthusiasm. Just you, your drink, and a very clear message.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny rude gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIntroverts and antisocial legends\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOffice survival mugs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who hates mornings… and everything after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFree UK shipping on all orders (yes, really).\u003c\/strong\u003e Each mug is made to order, so please allow a few extra days for printing and dispatch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis funny rude mug is the perfect novelty gift in the UK for anyone who loves sarcastic humour, introvert jokes, and bold designs that say exactly what they’re thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791261299030,"sku":"1875238_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791261331798,"sku":"1875238_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b04f5cc08bd.jpg?v=1776356180"},{"product_id":"proud-team-player-i-hate-you-all-mug-funny-sarcastic-work-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Proud Team Player\" Mug | Funny Rude Work Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe ultimate funny office mug for surviving workplace politics.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you’ve ever smiled through a meeting while mentally drafting your resignation speech, this funny work mug gets it. The “Proud Team Player” mug is designed for anyone walking the fine line between professional excellence and total internal meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis brilliantly sarcastic office mug shows both sides of your personality. One side proudly declares:\u003cbr\u003ePROUD TEAM PLAYER!\u003cbr\u003eFlip it around, and there’s the truth you’re really thinking:\u003cbr\u003eI HATE YOU ALL!!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBoth sides feature the ever-judgemental Cucumber Dog, suited, monocled, and silently questioning every life choice that led you to that meeting.\u003cbr\u003eSet on crisp white ceramic, the bold design makes your message loud and clear, whether you’re facing your boss or protecting your sanity. It’s the perfect funny coworker gift, a savage Secret Santa option, or a daily survival tool for your own desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhy this is the best seat at the table:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eDual-Sided Design:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFeatures both the \"Team Player\" and \"I Hate You\" slogans.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSignature Style: Showcases Sir Cucumber Dog in his iconic lime green suit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuilt for the Office: Microwave and dishwasher safe for those endless back-to-back meetings.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium Quality: Lead and BPA-free ceramic that feels as solid as your workplace boundaries.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePicture this sitting on your desk during a meeting. Boss walks past? Team Player side forward. Colleagues testing your patience? Quick swivel. Instant honesty. Zero consequences (hopefully).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny office gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRude coworker presents\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSecret Santa chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone surviving corporate life with sarcasm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eFree UK shipping on all orders (yes, really). Each mug is made to order, so please allow a few extra days for printing and dispatch.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791324246358,"sku":"4457000_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791324279126,"sku":"4457000_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0533e2a40b.jpg?v=1776354692"},{"product_id":"busier-than-a-cucumber-mug-funny-rude-sir-cucumber-dog-gift","title":"The Ultimate Boundary Setting Device: The \"Busier Than A Cucumber\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhen your schedule is absolute chaos, let the mug do the talking. If your calendar is a disaster and your to-do list has become sentient, this funny rude mug is your official badge of honour. The \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"196\"\u003eBusier Than a Cucumber\u003c\/b\u003e mug is designed for those juggling too much, surviving on caffeine, and communicating exclusively through high level sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis essential piece from our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"30\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection features the legendary \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"75\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e himself. Dressed in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, he delivers pure judgement with aristocratic style. Set against a signature Cucumber green label on a crisp white ceramic body, the design is printed on both sides to ensure your boundary setting is visible from every angle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug Handles the Pressure\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIt is more than a vessel for coffee: it is a strategic tool for the modern workplace. Picture it sitting on your desk while emails pile up and deadlines loom, quietly informing everyone to back off without you having to utter a single word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured on both sides, making his dapper disdain visible to everyone in the room, whether you are left or right handed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Sarcastic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for office gifts, rude Secret Santa presents, or that work bestie who is permanently \"flat out\" but still thriving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSignature Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e The Cucumber green and white colour scheme provides a sophisticated, clean look for a beautifully inappropriate joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overworked\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes Available:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz (9.6 cm height) or 15 oz (11.9 cm height).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e High quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for the Grind:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally in whatever country you are in to ensure fast delivery and a lower carbon footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree Global Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Colonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"21\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e coworker, this is the one. Whether they work in an office or a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"127\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e for excellence, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"155\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the perfect \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"185\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against a busy schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791409181014,"sku":"4890941_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791409213782,"sku":"4890941_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/busier_than_a_cucumber_in_a_woman_s_prison_funny_rude_Cucumber_Dog_mug.jpg?v=1777195749"},{"product_id":"how-to-pick-up-chicks-white-mug","title":"The Literal Guide to Romance: The \"How to Pick Up Chicks\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed that the \"single life\" often involves a lot of confusing metaphors and questionable decisions on digital dating apps. In an effort to bring some common sense to your romantic plight, he has approved this literal guide to \"picking up chicks.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design is a lighthearted joke for the person who has decided that human mating rituals are far too much effort. It is the perfect way to have a bit of fun with your relationship status while enjoying a superior brew.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of Social Literal-ism\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a dapper tutorial on social logistics, this design offers a refreshing alternative to the modern dating scene. It is a victory for common sense, curated by a pug who thinks your romantic struggles are adorable yet highly inefficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLiteral Logic:\u003c\/b\u003e Why navigate the complexities of human emotion when you can simply lift several small, yellow, feathered creatures? It is a far more rewarding use of your time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Single Life Essential:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed for the person who is currently \"uncoupled\" and prefers the company of poultry (or just a good laugh) to another awkward first date.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVisual Excellence:\u003c\/b\u003e A vibrant, high quality print that captures the sheer joy of literal chick procurement in stunning detail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for the friend who has officially \"retired\" from dating, the poultry enthusiast, or anyone who appreciates a cheeky technicality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Literal Romantic\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you are drinking a victory tea or a \"happy to be single\" coffee, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm (3.8 inches) in height and 8.2 cm (3.2 inches) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm (4.7 inches) in height and 8.5 cm (3.3 inches) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e High quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Built to survive the heat of your next social interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is created specifically for you the moment you buy it. This avoids unnecessary waste and ensures your gift is as fresh as a spring chick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. We will get your dating manual to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52908048318806,"sku":"2078944_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52908048351574,"sku":"2078944_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/How_to_pick_up_chicks_mug_funny_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777115111"},{"product_id":"best-thing-that-ever-leaked-funny-fathers-day-mug","title":"The Ultimate Biological Flex: The Best Leaked Thing Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eForget sentimental cards and heartfelt speeches. If you really want to thank your parents for your existence, you need to acknowledge the specific biological plumbing that made it possible. Sir Cucumber Dog has personally vetted this design for its combination of scientific accuracy and extreme social awkwardness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eThis mug is a crowning achievement for the favourite child who wants to remind their parents exactly how lucky they are that this specific \"leak\" worked out so well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterpiece of Reproductive Humour\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eSet against a deep black glossy finish, the vibrant doodles and brutal honesty create a gift that is impossible to ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brutal Truth:\u003c\/b\u003e A daily reminder that you are the premium byproduct of a very specific moment in time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDoodle Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e The playful icons like the dripping tap and the treasure chest add a touch of whimsy to a deeply inappropriate sentiment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Favourite Child Trophy:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for the sibling who wants to assert dominance during the morning coffee run.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Branding:\u003c\/b\u003e Features the high end quality expected from the Cucumber Dog empire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Miracle Product\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eWhether you are drinking away the shame or celebrating your status as the best leak ever, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality black ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Built to survive the heat of a parental argument.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously covered the postage. We will get this biological tribute to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003ePicture the look on his face when he unwraps this. Whether it’s a funny Father’s Day gift, a birthday surprise, or just you choosing chaos on a random Tuesday, this mug delivers.\u003cbr\u003eFree UK shipping on all orders (yes, really). Each mug is made to order, so please allow a few extra days for printing and dispatch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis funny rude dad mug is the perfect novelty gift in the UK for anyone who loves sarcastic humour, inappropriate jokes, and bold designs that stand out from the usual boring presents.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53011906756950,"sku":"7561814_9323","price":18.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53011906789718,"sku":"7561814_9324","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/black-glossy-mug-black-11-oz-handle-on-right-69ce39fc0f860.jpg?v=1776354236"},{"product_id":"youre-my-favourite-dad-ever-premium-black-ceramic-mug","title":"\"You're My Favourite Dad Ever\" Funny Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThe kind of gift that gets laughed at… then immediately passed around the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eShow him exactly where he stands with this charming and bold coffee mug. Featuring a playful, hand-lettered design that reads \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"126\"\u003e\"You're my favourite DAD ever!\"\u003c\/b\u003e accented with soft pink hearts and stars, this is the perfect gift for the man who does it all.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eA Hint of Cheeky Humour\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eLet’s be honest, the phrase \"You're my favourite DAD ever\" carries a hilarious, subtle wink. It begs the question: just how many dads have you got? It is the ultimate tongue in cheek compliment for the dad who appreciates a bit of \"favourite child\" wit. Whether he is the undisputed champion of the household or just winning the current ranking, this sarcastic yet sweet design is bound to spark a laugh at the breakfast table.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eThe \"Favourite\" Child’s Secret Weapon\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePERFECT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e Dads with a sense of humour, Father’s Day, birthdays, and Christmas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHEARTFELT WITH A TWIST:\u003c\/b\u003e This novelty dad mug combines a sweet message with a side of cheeky family banter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHIGH-CONTRAST DESIGN:\u003c\/b\u003e The vibrant cream lettering and pastel pink accents pop perfectly against the sleek black glossy finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBUILT FOR DAILY USE:\u003c\/b\u003e This durable ceramic is both dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSAFE \u0026amp; HIGH QUALITY:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from BPA-free and lead-free materials for a clean sipping experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWARNING:\u003c\/b\u003e Not suitable for sensitive dads. Or normal families.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Specifications:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Height 9.8 cm, Diameter 8.5 cm\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Height 12 cm, Diameter 8.5 cm\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eWHY PEOPLE LOVE CUCUMBER DOG\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAUTHENTIC REACTIONS:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed to get real laughs and raised eyebrows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSUPPORT INDEPENDENT:\u003c\/b\u003e A small independent brand based in the UK.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFREE UK SHIPPING:\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, really. Free shipping on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53012322058582,"sku":"6862030_9323","price":18.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53012322091350,"sku":"6862030_9324","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/You_re_my_favourite_dad_ever_funny_fathers_day_gift_mug_cucumber_dog.jpg?v=1777038090"},{"product_id":"dear-dad-thanks-for-not-wiping-me-on-a-sock-funny-white-mug","title":"Dear Dad Thanks For Not Wiping Me On A Sock | Funny White Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eGive your dad the recognition he truly deserves with this hilariously blunt coffee mug. Featuring a whimsical, hand-drawn design that reads \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"140\"\u003e\"Dear Dad, Thanks for not wiping me on a sock,\"\u003c\/b\u003e this is the ultimate gift for the parent who appreciates crude humour over sentimental fluff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eDecorated with a \"Best Child\" award ribbon, playful hearts, and stars, it is a cheeky way to remind him that you are, undoubtedly, his greatest achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Is the Ultimate Gift for Dad\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBrutally Honest Humour\u003c\/b\u003e This novelty mug is designed for those who want to skip the clichés and go straight for the belly laugh. It is the perfect compliment for a dad with a sharp wit and a healthy sense of perspective.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVibrant Hand-Drawn Design\u003c\/b\u003e The crisp white ceramic provides a professional background that makes the multicoloured illustrations and bold typography pop. The high-definition print ensures the \"Best Child\" medal and illustrated sock look sharp from every angle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Durability\u003c\/b\u003e Whether he is a coffee addict or a tea lover, this kitchenware is built for the daily grind. The design is engineered to stay perfect through hundreds of cycles, making it a long-lasting staple in his cupboard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Features \u0026amp; Safety\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Size Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"38\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a classic brew or the generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"78\"\u003e15oz size\u003c\/b\u003e for those mornings when he needs extra caffeine to deal with his \"favourite\" child.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaximum Safety:\u003c\/b\u003e Sip with confidence. This mug is crafted from \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"62\"\u003eBPA-free and lead-free\u003c\/b\u003e materials.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eConvenience as Standard:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe for easy cleaning and reheating.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% White Glossy Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 9.6 cm height, 8.2 cm diameter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 12 cm height, 8.5 cm diameter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare:\u003c\/b\u003e Safe for use in microwaves and dishwashers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is It For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Fun Dad:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for Father’s Day, birthdays, or just because he has a great sense of humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Hard to Buy For\" Parent:\u003c\/b\u003e A guaranteed conversation starter that stands out from the usual \"World's Best Dad\" tat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Favourite Child:\u003c\/b\u003e A playful way to secure your spot as the top sibling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53015385571670,"sku":"4579249_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53015385604438,"sku":"4579249_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Dear_Dad_thanks_for_not_wiping_me_on_a_sock_funny_mug_cucumber_dog.jpg?v=1777108322"},{"product_id":"sometimes-i-lick-the-spoon-mug-funny-rude-gag-gift","title":"Sometimes I Lick The Spoon Mug | Funny Rude Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you have ever licked the spoon and popped it right back in the drawer, this mug was made for your naughty soul. This is the ultimate tribute to those who live by the \"five-second rule\" and treat kitchen hygiene like a polite suggestion rather than a requirement.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"270\"\u003eVisual Description: High-Energy Design for the Kitchen Rebel\u003c\/b\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eThis isn't your standard, boring kitchenware. The design features high-impact, colourful typography that screams \"unapologetic.\" Set against a crisp white ceramic base, the bold lettering is accented by a cheeky winking emoji, making it clear that while your habits might be questionable, your sense of humour is top-tier. The vibrant palette uses our signature bold tones to ensure this mug stands out on any desk or kitchen counter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Need This Mug\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWhether you are sipping your morning tea or a late-night hot chocolate, this mug celebrates the small, slightly disgusting victories of life. It is the kind of gag gift that gets a \"Me too!\" followed by a \"Wait, you actually do that?\" It’s high-energy, colourful, and a bit wrong—exactly how your morning brew should be. It captures a specific brand of British cheekiness and turns it into your new favourite conversation starter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Highlights \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Every Habit:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who need a larger dose of caffeine to fuel their mischief.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVibrant, Professional Finish:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly printed to ensure the bold colours and winking emoji stay crisp and bright, even after a trip through the dishwasher.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurable Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed to survive the daily grind, from the office kitchen to the breakfast table.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDishwasher \u0026amp; Microwave Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Completely practical for daily use and low-effort maintenance after your \"naughty\" tea break.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStand-Alone Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is crafted with a focus on premium materials and high-definition print clarity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is It For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Secret\" Baker:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who definitely tastes the batter and \"cleans\" the whisk with their tongue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Office Rebel:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for the colleague who wants to make everyone a little bit uncomfortable during the Monday morning meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Hard to Buy For\" Friend:\u003c\/b\u003e A hilarious, inappropriate gift for birthdays, Secret Santa, or housewarmings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53087665979734,"sku":"6980718_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53087666012502,"sku":"6980718_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/sometimes_i_lick_the_spoon_and_put_it_back_to_feel_naughty_mug_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777036858"},{"product_id":"i-did-debbie-in-dallas-mug-funny-retro-sarcastic-gift","title":"I Did Debbie in Dallas Mug | Funny Retro Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"font-family: sans-serif; color: #1a1a1a; background-color: #fafdf5; padding: 20px; border: 1px solid #d4eec7; border-radius: 8px;\"\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"One can only assume the HR department is already drafting your warning letter,\" notes Sir Cucumber Dog, polishing his cucumber monocle.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eReady for a retro gift that packs a punchline? This naughty \"I Did Debbie in Dallas\" mug is the ultimate conversation starter for anyone with a wicked sense of humour. Designed for those who appreciate a cheeky wink at 1978 pop culture, this funny retro mug is guaranteed to cause a stir during the morning meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eA Bold Dose of Nostalgia (and Judgement)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you are sipping morning coffee or a cheeky afternoon tea, this mug brings a splash of 70s swagger to your desk. The vibrant, full-wrap illustration features a winking cheerleader and the iconic Dallas skyline, complete with the playful disclaimer: \"It is not what you think!\" Sir Cucumber Dog assures you, it is exactly what they think. It is the perfect inappropriate gift for a friend or a legendary work Secret Santa present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Chief Judgement Officer's Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted for a sturdy feel, capable of surviving the dishwasher after you hastily hide it from the boss.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm in height and 8.2 cm in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e15oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm in height and 8.5 cm in diameter (for those who need more caffeine to handle the judgement).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eModern Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully safe for use in the microwave and dishwasher. Entirely free from lead and BPA.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eFunny gifts for him or her for milestone birthdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eA legendary office prank that will not be forgotten anytime soon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves 1970s nostalgia and rude adult humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDelivery Information\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree UK shipping is included on all orders. Because we use premium print-on-demand technology, each piece is crafted to order specifically for you. Please allow a few extra days for us to print your design and get it dispatched directly to your door!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53091844522326,"sku":"5213761_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53091844555094,"sku":"5213761_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Tilted_white_ceramic_mug_on_a_light_beige_surface_featuring_a_retro_Dallas_cheerleader_illustration_and_the_funny_quote_I_DID_DEBBIE_IN_DALLAS_Cucumber_Dog.png?v=1776351987"},{"product_id":"the-im-a-wet-fart-mug","title":"The Ultimate Badge of Mediocrity: The \"Wet Fart\" Edition Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIt is a rare thing for a human to possess the self-awareness to admit they are an absolute damp squib. While Sir Cucumber Dog generally expects perfection, he finds this level of brutal honesty almost tolerable. This mug is the ultimate badge of honour for those days when you are definitely not \"crushing it.\" In fact, you are not even making a dent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design features a high end \"Cucumber cream\" label wrap, framed by detailed \"Cucumber green\" borders and an intricate ornate divider. The phrase \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003e\"I’M THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A WET FART\"\u003c\/b\u003e is rendered in bold, vintage-inspired typography, perfectly balanced by the sophisticated subtitle: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"325\"\u003e\"EDITION OF ONE.\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a juxtaposition of refined, aristocratic aesthetics and the kind of low-brow humour that makes the Chairman tilt his head in silent judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality for the Walking Anticlimax\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog refuses to put his name on anything flimsy. Even if you feel like a disappointment, your mug should not be one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e The design is printed on both sides, ensuring your lack of potential is visible to everyone in the room, whether you are a leftie or a rightie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Finish:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly crafted to ensure the Cucumber green and cream colours remain sharp, vibrant, and entirely resistant to fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStrategic Lowered Expectations:\u003c\/b\u003e Carry this into a meeting to ensure nobody asks you for anything important. It is a brilliant tool for avoiding responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLow Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. Because let us be honest, you likely do not have the energy for hand-washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Self-Aware\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to survive the morning or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are functional, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A robust, high-gloss white ceramic build that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your badge of mediocrity arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the Chairman’s designs reach you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e mediocre friend with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"63\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"80\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"102\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of our collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"142\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against high expectations and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"190\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily failure. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"233\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of self-deprecation is sure to be a hit in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"288\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e or office breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53114479509846,"sku":"9331373_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53114479542614,"sku":"9331373_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Funny_white_ceramic_mug_tilted_featuring_a_beige_label_with_the_rude_quote_I_m_the_human_equivalent_of_a_wet_fart..png?v=1776351308"},{"product_id":"cum-on-eileen-retro-pop-art-mug","title":"The Literal Anthem: The \"Come On Eileen\" Scandalous Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has noted that humans spent a significant portion of the 1980s shouting this specific lyric at each other in crowded rooms. While the Chairman finds your choice of \"anthems\" loud and fundamentally unnecessary, he does appreciate a literal interpretation that makes everyone in the immediate vicinity profoundly uncomfortable. This is not just a mug: it is a visual representation of your refusal to be polite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design is a high-definition piece of scandalous kitchenware. It captures the exact moment a misheard lyric becomes a social catastrophe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Literalism\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a meticulous 1950s-inspired pop-art wrap, this design brings a touch of vintage flair to a modern-day ruin of a classic track.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional-Grade Judgement:\u003c\/b\u003e The visual features halftone dot patterns and bold comic outlines. It captures the perfect, horrified expression of the recipient with a distinct \"EWWW!\" speech bubble against a vintage pink backdrop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Conversation Stopper:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are an 80s music fan with a warped sense of humour or simply someone who enjoys making people do a double-take at the kettle, this design delivers every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the colours stay vibrant and the typography remains crisp. It is a sturdy vessel that feels as substantial as the insults it provides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEveryday Resilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The high-definition print is engineered to resist fading, even after countless wash cycles have attempted to scrub away the scandal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Pot-Stirrer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard caffeine hit or a massive bucket of tea to fuel your next office prank, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% white glossy ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your scandalous delivery arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the guide reaches you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e 80s fan with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"83\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"105\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any kitchen collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"153\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring coffee breaks and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"204\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily brew. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"244\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of literal humor is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"285\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"308\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53145511723350,"sku":"3327894_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53145511756118,"sku":"3327894_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Cucumber_dog_Cum_On_Eileen_Rude_Funny_Mug.jpg?v=1777037869"},{"product_id":"youre-not-aging-well-funny-mug","title":"\"You're Not Aging Well\" Funny Birthday Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Definitive Audit of Your Cellular Decay\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed your attempts to celebrate another trip around the sun, and frankly, he finds the enthusiasm misplaced. While humans enjoy \"celebrating\" their milestones, the Chairman prefers to focus on the cold, hard data: and the data suggests you have seen better days.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is the perfect way to deliver a dose of reality with your morning tea. Featuring the blunt, unapologetic decree: \"YOU'RE NOT AGEING LIKE A FINE WINE. YOU'RE AGEING LIKE SOUR MILK. SOUR AND NOT NICE TO LOOK AT.\" It serves as a sophisticated insult for friends, family, or colleagues who are starting to look a bit \"vintage.\" Sir Cucumber Dog appears in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on through his monocle with a mixture of pity and aristocratic boredom at your dwindling youth.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Birthday Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for the person who hates birthdays, or for the friend you love to irritate. It is the gift that keeps on taking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-Society Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Most \"getting older\" mugs are tacky. This one is posh, using the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"87\"\u003eCucumber green\u003c\/b\u003e and yellow palette to make the insult look like a formal announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the Chairman’s scowl and your grim prognosis remain sharp through every use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last (Unlike You):\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is high-definition and designed to resist fading: unlike your hairline or your general stamina.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Expiring\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need extra caffeine to cope with your advancing years or a massive bucket of tea to drown your sorrows, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a vibrant, long lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely lead and BPA free. We care about your physical health, even if the Chairman has already written you off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your reminder of mortality arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures Sir Cucumber Dog’s judgement reaches you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e aging friend with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"88\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"110\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any birthday celebration. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"160\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against sentimentality and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"205\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your dwindling youth. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"250\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of cellular decay is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"292\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"315\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53198220919126,"sku":"5676681_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53198220951894,"sku":"5676681_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/You_re_not_ageing_like_a_fine_funny_birthday_cucumber_dog_mug.jpg?v=1777037775"},{"product_id":"surviving-funny-work-mug","title":"\"Surviving Is An Achievement\" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eYou desperately need this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efunny work mug\u003c\/b\u003e to survive the daily grind. Sir Cucumber Dog has audited your societal contributions. Our esteemed plush toy pug Chairman wore his bespoke suit. The suit features a green cucumber-print and yellow bow tie. Sitting upon his bare minimum cushions, his findings are underwhelming. Other cups might offer basic motivation for the office. The Chairman prefers a strictly realistic approach. He adjusts his cucumber monocle and waves his star wand. He concludes that simply remaining upright is your primary accomplishment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is a tribute to your low bar. It features the biting decree, \"SURVIVING IS AN ACHIEVEMENT I GUESS.\" It also adds, \"IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE DONE ANYTHING ELSE.\" Sir Cucumber Dog silently judges your total lack of ambition. A depressing sloth in a party hat celebrates your mediocrity. It is the perfect \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"327\"\u003efunny work mug\u003c\/b\u003e for the mid-afternoon slump.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Funny Work Mug\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite British Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Finally, a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"34\"\u003erude mug\u003c\/b\u003e that speaks your truth. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"86\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e Rendered in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. It features elegant botanical flourishes for a posh look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% high-gloss white ceramic. It boasts a high-definition, long-lasting print. It is the best vessel for holding your tea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Outlast Motivation:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s judgemental scowl resists fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGenerous Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz. You will need extra volume to cope with existing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free for your peace of mind. We care deeply about your physical health. We have completely given up on your career prospects.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eGlobal Logistics and Local Care\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog personally oversees the distribution network. Your new \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"72\"\u003erude mug\u003c\/b\u003e arrives with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally. This drastically reduces the carbon footprint. Your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"97\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e arrives without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree Global Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e We proudly offer Free UK and US Shipping. The delivery cost is beneath the Chairman's dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every item is created specifically for you. We avoid unnecessary waste in a crowded world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs this funny work mug dishwasher safe?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes. This premium ceramic vessel is fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The high-definition print resists fading completely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this item designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e It makes a brilliant gift for chronically uninspired friends. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"112\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e who simply exists.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhere does my order ship from?\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally to your specific country. This guarantees swift delivery and a drastically reduced carbon footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Surviving Funny Work Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/surviving-work-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Acknowledge the daily corporate grind with the Surviving Funny Work Mug. A premium, high quality ceramic coffee cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, perfect for exhausted employees.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-SURVIVING-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/surviving-funny-work-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53199056535894,"sku":"9179642_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53199056568662,"sku":"9179642_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Cucumber_Dog_Surviving_is_an_Achievement_funny_mug.jpg?v=1777037691"},{"product_id":"still-utterly-useless-birthday-mug-sir-cucumber-dog","title":"\"Still Utterly Useless\" Birthday Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAn Annual Audit of Your Personal Failure\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has reviewed your performance over the last 365 days, and the results are predictably dismal. While others might offer platitudes about \"getting better with age,\" the Chairman prefers to focus on the reality of your situation: you have successfully aged without becoming any more useful to the world at large.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is the most sophisticated way to acknowledge a friend or family member's total lack of progress. Featuring the biting decree: \"ANOTHER YEAR... STILL UTTERLY USELESS.\", it is the perfect gift for birthdays, work anniversaries, or any milestone where honesty is preferred over politeness. Sir Cucumber Dog looks on from his Cucumber cream background, his monocle firmly in place as he judges your stagnant lifestyle.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite British Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Most \"getting older\" mugs are tacky. This one is posh, using our signature Cucumber green and vibrant yellow to make the insult look like an official announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Birthday Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for the person who hates the fuss of birthdays, or for the sibling you love to remind of their place in the family hierarchy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is rendered in his meticulously tailored cucumber-print suit, ensuring that even a devastating insult looks remarkably premium.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Outlast Your Youth:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s judgmental scowl and your grim prognosis are engineered to resist fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Material:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% High-Gloss Ceramic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who need more volume to cope with their mediocrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely lead and BPA-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe for long-term use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBritish Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed with a focus on British English and the biting sense of humour found only in the best UK households.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e person with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"82\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"104\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any birthday celebration. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"154\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring, sentimental gifts and provides much-needed \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e for the office. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"250\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of personal failure is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"294\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"317\"\u003eneighborhood.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"317\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Still Utterly Useless Birthday Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/still-utterly-useless-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Celebrate another year of zero progress. The Still Utterly Useless birthday mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog is a premium, funny ceramic cup perfect for roasting friends and coworkers who refuse to improve.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-STILLUSELESS-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/still-utterly-useless-birthday-mug-sir-cucumber-dog\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53199796175190,"sku":"4353375_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53199796207958,"sku":"4353375_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Another_year_still_utterly_useless_funny_birthday_Cucumber_Dog_Mug.jpg?v=1777037513"},{"product_id":"promoted-beyond-your-competence-office-mug-sir-cucumber-dog","title":"The Accidental Promotion Mug: A Celebration of Incompetence","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe career ladder is a treacherous thing. Some people climb it with grace, while others simply trip on the bottom rung and find themselves accidentally propelled into management. If you or a colleague have successfully risen to the absolute peak of your inability, this is the commemorative ceramic you deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eBased on the legendary Peter Principle, this design is a stunning monument to corporate failure. It is the perfect gift for the newly promoted boss who has no idea what they are doing, or for the seasoned veteran who has been winging it since 1994.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Career Satire\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing Sir Cucumber Dog in his most regal and disappointed state, this mug brings a touch of high end disdain to every meeting. Set within an ornate gold frame, the Chairman observes your inevitable downfall with the quiet patience of a pug who knows you are just one spreadsheet away from a total meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Peter Principle in Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A daily reminder that you have finally reached the level where you are no longer useful. It is a liberating realization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eImperial Aesthetics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a much needed anchor of sophistication for your messy desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Strategic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Secret Santa, office leaving dos, or simply as a \"Congratulations\" to the person who just failed upwards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously covered the delivery cost. We will get this tribute to your incompetence to your doorstep without any unnecessary faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overwhelmed Manager\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to calm your nerves or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are productive, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to last longer than your current job security.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand. This reduces waste and ensures we aren't overproducing items that the Chairman would only have to judge later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e boss, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"82\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any office gift exchange. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"132\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against corporate boredom and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"180\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily grind. 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Sir Cucumber Dog believes that if you are going to break that silence, you should do it with a level of biological warfare that ensures you never have to share a lift again. This mug is for the individual who treats a three floor journey as a prime opportunity for atmospheric disruption.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of Social Sabotage\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eFeaturing a candid illustration of a gentleman in a state of high pressure panic, this design captures the exact moment a quiet commute becomes a memorable event. Set against a deep forest green background, the bold cream text leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Warning Label:\u003c\/b\u003e It is the perfect office accessory for the person who simply cannot be trusted in small spaces.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Branding:\u003c\/b\u003e While the subject matter is, quite literally, gas, the quality is undeniably premium. Every mug features the underlying judgement of the Cucumber Dog empire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTactical Honesty:\u003c\/b\u003e Stop hiding your biological reality. Wear your flaws on your drink ware and watch as your colleagues suddenly decide to take the stairs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously decided that the air in the delivery van should remain fresh for as long as possible. We will get this to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Frequent Flyer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhether you need a small caffeine hit to fuel your next floor jump or a massive bucket of tea for the long ride to the penthouse, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to survive the heat, unlike the passengers in your lift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eZero Waste Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand to reduce overproduction. It is a thoughtful approach to a very thoughtless design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e prankster with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"74\"\u003eelevator\u003c\/b\u003e joke is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"95\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any conversation. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"137\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against awkward silences and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily commute. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"227\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of flatulence is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"265\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any office or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"298\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"I Fart In Lifts Funny Rude Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/i-fart-in-lifts-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Clear the room with the I Fart In Lifts funny rude mug. 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This mug is not a toy; it is a declaration of linguistic authority. Designed for those who believe that \"simplified\" is just a polite word for \"lazy,\" this piece serves as a daily reminder to maintain standards in a world that has clearly let itself go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eSet against a bold Union Jack backdrop, the Chairman sits in his velvet armchair, flanked by the flags of both the mainland and the former colonies. His expression is one of profound disappointment as he delivers a message that every American needs to hear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of British Superiority\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a regal scroll design entwined with cucumber vines, this mug brings a touch of aristocratic authority to your kitchen. We have specifically included the \"simplified\" versions to ensure our friends across the pond understand exactly what they are missing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vowel Restoration Project:\u003c\/b\u003e Boldly lists the correct spellings of \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"69\"\u003eColour\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003eHonour\u003c\/b\u003e, and \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"89\"\u003eBehaviour\u003c\/b\u003e to remind everyone that three little letters make a world of difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe American Translation:\u003c\/b\u003e For those used to seeing words \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003ewithout the u\u003c\/b\u003e, like \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"84\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"91\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"104\"\u003eflavor\u003c\/b\u003e, consider this your official linguistic upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Imperial Stare:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a constant reminder of the high standards you are expected to uphold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect \"Expat\" Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Brits living in the USA who are tired of their spellcheck constantly undermining them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Sophisticated Scholar\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. 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You wake up, put on a heavy suit of professional expectations, and attempt to achieve the impossible in an environment that is actively working against you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the official mug of The Underwater Kite Flying Association. Established in 1983 and proudly boasting absolutely zero progress. This is the ultimate desktop companion for middle management, beleaguered creatives, and anyone who understands the profound futility of modern employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Absolute Futility\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not simply sell vessels for hot water. We provide deeply relatable coping mechanisms designed to filter out the overly enthusiastic and attract those who appreciate a good dose of reality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunningly detailed illustration of a diver attempting to fly a vibrant diamond kite beneath the waves. It perfectly encapsulates the feeling of your average Tuesday afternoon status update.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose between a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"49\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for your morning dose of apathy, or a substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"110\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e vessel for those gruelling days that require heavy liquid reinforcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Clear Value Proposition:\u003c\/b\u003e Why buy a boring, generic mug when you can own a conversation piece that actively lowers expectations? It answers the age old question of what to do when you are handed an impossible task.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the crushing pressure of corporate deadlines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long day of achieving absolutely nothing, manually washing a cup is an insult to your remaining energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Place it firmly on your desk to let your colleagues know that any new projects they assign will be met with the exact same level of success as underwater aerodynamics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your lack of productivity, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"84\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"123\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against bosses who demand high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"162\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e standards and constant progress in your corporate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. Pour your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"245\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e coffee into the 11 oz or 15 oz size, admire the vibrant \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"310\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the diver, and enjoy the absurdity like you are watching a comedy at the local \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"398\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53490379293014,"sku":"9671614_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53490379325782,"sku":"9671614_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/The_Underwater_Kite_Flying_Association_Office_Mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1778082764"},{"product_id":"nocturnal-sunbathing-union-funny-mug","title":"The Nocturnal Sunbathing Union Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has observed the incredibly fragile constitution of certain individuals when exposed to even a mild ray of sunshine. For the pale, the ginger, and the chronically indoor oriented, the sun is not a source of joy; it is a deadly laser.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the official mug of the Nocturnal Sunbathing Union. This premium ceramic vessel is the ultimate desk accessory for anyone who views a sunny day as a personal threat and firmly believes that Factor 100 sun cream is merely a starting point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Absolute Avoidance\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not simply sell drink ware. We provide highly relatable coping mechanisms designed to filter out annoyingly enthusiastic sun worshippers and attract those who appreciate the safety of the shadows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a brilliantly detailed illustration of a ginger man lounging on a deckchair under a crescent moon, proudly clutching his Factor 100 sun cream. The motto \"The Shade is Real\" frames the bottom, perfectly encapsulating your avoidance strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"47\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for a quick dose of morning caffeine, or a substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"112\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for those who require extra hydration after actively dodging the daylight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the crushing social pressure to \"go outside and enjoy the weather.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long night of nocturnal sunbathing, manually washing a cup is an insult to your energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order, ensuring your new vessel arrives freshly made and completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat makes these funny ginger mugs the best gift for the sun-averse?\u003c\/b\u003e Our Nocturnal Sunbathing Union design is the ultimate badge of honor for those who fear the daylight. It features a detailed illustration of a ginger man enjoying the moonlit shade. It is the perfect way to signal your membership in the league of the chronically indoor-oriented.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the \"The Shade is Real\" artwork durable?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it is. We use a high quality bespoke printing process to ensure the design remains crisp and vibrant. Whether you are drinking scalding hot tea or ice-cold water while hiding from the sun, the artwork will not peel or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCan I put this premium ceramic vessel in the dishwasher?\u003c\/b\u003e Absolutely. After a long night of nocturnal sunbathing, we know you lack the energy for manual labor. This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. It is designed to withstand high temperatures and social isolation with ease.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat sizes are available for this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e We offer two substantial options. Choose the 11 oz size for a quick caffeine hit. Or, select the 15 oz vessel if you require extra hydration to recover from the crushing social pressure of \"going outside.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your pale complexion, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"79\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"118\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"149\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly sunny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"187\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The rich \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"206\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the night sky graphic shows you take your shade seriously. Make sure your sunblock is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"309\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"356\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"407\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Nocturnal Sunbathing Union Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/nocturnal-sunbathing-union-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"The exact ceramic vessel required to help the indoorsy and the easily sunburnt find peace. A funny, high quality mug perfect for night owls and introverts.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-NOCTURNAL-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/nocturnal-sunbathing-union-funny-mug?variant=53490540249430\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53490540249430,"sku":"9406992_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53490540282198,"sku":"9406992_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_circular_illustration_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_a_ginger_man_in_sunglasses_lounging_on_a_deckchair_at_night._He_is_holding_Factor_100_sun_cream_under_a_crescent_moon._Text_reads_No.jpg?v=1778084227"},{"product_id":"if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-funny-mug","title":"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug | 11oz \u0026 15oz","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman respects the feline community for one specific reason: their absolute, unwavering dedication to apathy. Humans foolishly believe their pets care about their annual milestones. This premium ceramic vessel shatters that delusion with spectacular accuracy, providing the perfect sarcastic gift for the realist in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards... They Wouldn't\" mug. It serves as the ultimate truth bomb for any cat enthusiast and a stark reminder of your actual place in the household hierarchy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Feline Apathy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drink ware. We provide highly relatable reality checks disguised as premium office accessories, designed specifically to filter out the overly sentimental.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features The Chairman sitting in quiet solidarity alongside a deeply unbothered ginger feline, complete with a completely unsent paw print greeting card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for a quick morning brew, or the substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"99\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e vessel for drowning your sorrows when your cat ignores you all day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the icy chill of a feline's rejection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Because manually washing a cup requires far too much effort, much like writing a birthday card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order, ensuring your new vessel arrives freshly made and completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your cat's absolute lack of interest in your life, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"108\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your kitchen. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"150\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"181\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly affectionate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"226\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e towards their pets. The rich cream \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"270\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the design shows you take your realism seriously. Make sure your coffee is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"362\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"409\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"460\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Embrace the cold truth with the If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards mug. A funny, high quality ceramic mug perfect for cat lovers and birthday cynics alike.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-CATCARD-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-funny-mug?variant=53502516658518\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53502516658518,"sku":"2277427_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53502516691286,"sku":"2277427_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_sitting_next_to_a_ginger_cat_and_a_small_table._Text_reads_If_Cats_could_Send_Birthday_Cards..._THEY_WOULDN_T..jpg?v=1778147481"},{"product_id":"morning-pug-accino-funny-coffee-mug","title":"Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIf you are looking for funny pug mugs, you have found the absolute best option right here. Sir Cucumber Dog is fundamentally opposed to mornings. He requires a massive dose of caffeine to function. This stops him from hating the sheer existence of the general public. Your daily routine might involve aggressive sighing. You might avoid eye contact until your coffee is finished. If so, this premium ceramic vessel is your new official uniform. It makes the absolute perfect pug gift for miserable people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eWhy These Funny Pug Mugs Are Essential\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eWe do not simply sell standard drinkware. We provide highly relatable coping mechanisms for your desk. These mugs act as a physical barrier against overly cheerful morning people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003eDefeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features Sir Cucumber Dog physically bathing in a frothy cappuccino. He is proudly wearing his signature cucumber monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003eDual Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for your initial espresso. Or pick the 15 oz vessel for terrible mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003ePremium Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands scalding hot coffee and crushing early morning alarms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003eEffortless Care:\u003c\/b\u003e This vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand whilst half asleep is highly insulting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every piece is proudly printed to order. Your mug arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eWhat sizes are available for these funny pug mugs?\u003c\/b\u003e The Morning Pug-accino design comes in two sizes. Choose a standard 11 oz size for a quick fix. Or select the large 15 oz size for difficult mornings. Both sizes feature Sir Cucumber Dog prominently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIs this coffee cup safe for the dishwasher?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. Washing cups by hand while half awake is a terrible idea. This premium ceramic vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. It ensures completely effortless cleaning every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eHow is the artwork applied to the ceramic?\u003c\/b\u003e We use a high quality printing process via Printful. This ensures the detailed illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog will not peel or fade. His signature cucumber monocle will remain perfectly intact through many washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWhat colours are featured in the artwork?\u003c\/b\u003e The design proudly features our signature brand colours. You will see vibrant cucumber green and smooth cucumber cream. These tones contrast beautifully with the rich brown of the frothy cappuccino.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"15\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your morning coffee ritual, this mug must be the \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"70\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a brilliant \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"109\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against cheerful \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"134\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e from anyone in your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"163\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. The rich brown \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"192\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the text is perfectly \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"223\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e to match your morning brew. Whether you are commuting to the local movie \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"304\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e or just working from home, this will undoubtedly be your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"369\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new cup!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/morning-pug-accino-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Start your day with the Morning Pug-accino mug. A funny, premium ceramic coffee cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog. 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Sir Cucumber Dog firmly believes that honesty is the best policy. However, dealing with insufferable members of the general public requires tact. A touch of polite preamble makes the final verdict much sweeter. If a colleague requires a formal reality check, this ceramic vessel is perfect. It serves as the ultimate gavel of justice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the Kindly Pardon My Arrogance mug. It is the absolute pinnacle of British insults. It is perfectly disguised as a sophisticated desktop accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Formal Judgement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drinkware. We provide highly formal declarations of disdain. These \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"119\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e are for people who desperately need a reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Offensive Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunning illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog holding court. He wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie. He sits within an ornate wooden crest with decorative cucumbers. A gold seal delivers the final glorious verdict: TWAT!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for a swift insult over morning tea. Or select the substantial 15 oz vessel for a larger reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands hot coffee and the shocked gasps of your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand after a flawless insult is entirely beneath your dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order using a high quality bespoke process. Your new vessel arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this offensive pug mug designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. The word \"TWAT\" is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat colours are used in this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. 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Why brave the elements and risk physical exertion when you can experience the absolute pinnacle of extreme sports from the safety of your own lounge?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting \"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club\" mug. It is a premium ceramic vessel designed for the chronic introvert, the dedicated homebody, and anyone whose idea of a thrilling adventure involves turning the ceiling fan up to the highest setting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAviation for the Indoorsy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject the modern obsession with fresh air and adrenaline. This vessel combines a beautiful vintage aesthetic with a celebration of absolute laziness, perfectly crafted to establish your commitment to staying inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eShowcase your dedication to indoor extreme sports\u003c\/b\u003e with a beautifully detailed vintage emblem featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his finest tweed aviator gear and signature yellow bow tie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMarvel at the magnificent engineering\u003c\/b\u003e of a hang glider safely tethered to a standard ceiling fan, complete with a potted plant and windsock for accurate indoor weather readings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSustain your energy levels through rigorous lounging sessions\u003c\/b\u003e with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eKeep your membership badge in pristine condition\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a highly durable white ceramic build that is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy a permanently vibrant illustration\u003c\/b\u003e that will never scratch or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke sublimation process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Extreme Laziness\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you use this funny novelty mug to its full potential? Our expert survival advice is simple. When an overly energetic friend suggests a weekend hiking trip, a marathon, or any activity that requires leaving the house, simply raise this mug to your lips. Maintain eye contact while taking a slow sip. It silently communicates that your schedule is already entirely booked with ceiling fan aviation and avoiding the general public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eIt is the definitive gift for lazy coworkers, exhausted introverts, or any friend who considers walking to the fridge a sufficient daily workout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Vintage Aviation, Introvert Humour, Lazy Extreme Sports, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Avoiding outdoor activities, funny introvert gifts, and surviving the weekend indoors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your absolute refusal to go outside, this ceramic mug needs to be at the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"94\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your coffee table. It serves as an exceptional \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"151\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against energetic friends in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"193\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit exhausting \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"229\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e like hiking or jogging. The rich \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"271\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the vintage badge is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"309\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e for all to see. It will quickly become your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"361\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e vessel to hold your morning drip coffee before a highly strenuous trip to the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"460\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club Funny Aviator Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/indoor-hang-gliding-club-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Avoid the outdoors with The Indoor Hang Gliding Club mug. This funny, premium ceramic coffee cup features Sir Cucumber Dog and is the perfect gift for introverts.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-GLIDING-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/indoor-hang-gliding-club-funny-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53591595843926,"sku":"9733846_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53591595876694,"sku":"9733846_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/indoor_hang_gliding_club_cucumber_dog_mug.webp?v=1779198090"},{"product_id":"beautiful-unicorn-funny-sarcastic-mug","title":"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn Funny Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman finds the modern obsession with toxic positivity deeply exhausting. Not everyone wakes up feeling like a majestic, mythical creature ready to conquer the day. Most of us wake up looking exactly like the deranged, sleep deprived beast plastered on this premium ceramic vessel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn\" mug. It is the ultimate antidote to inspirational quotes and overly cheerful morning people, serving as a highly accurate reflection of your internal state.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEmbrace the Morning Delusion\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject standard, mass produced affirmations. This vessel provides a masterclass in aggressive realism, perfectly crafted for the perpetually exhausted who need practical benefits along with their daily dose of sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProject an aura of unhinged confidence\u003c\/b\u003e to terrify your colleagues before your first meeting, powered by your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSurvive the daily grind without adding chores to your evening\u003c\/b\u003e, thanks to a robust, fully microwave and dishwasher safe ceramic build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eShield your hands from the boiling temperature of your morning brew\u003c\/b\u003e with our premium, thick walled white ceramic construction that withstands everyday office abuse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy a flawless, vibrant insult\u003c\/b\u003e that will not peel or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke printing process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Surviving the Corporate Morning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIf you are wondering how to deflect unwanted conversations before 9 AM, our expert advice is simple: camouflage. This mug serves as a visual representation of how it feels to join a video call with a raging hangover or zero sleep. Hold it directly in front of your face and stare blankly at your manager until they slowly back away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eFor those searching for the best sarcastic gift for a coworker who has been running on empty since 2020, this vessel provides genuine utility. It speaks the truth so they do not have to waste their precious breath.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your lack of sleep, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"116\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"147\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly peppy morning \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"193\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The vibrant pastel \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"222\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the deranged mane shows you take your sarcasm seriously. Make sure your coffee is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"321\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"368\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"419\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug and avoid the public altogether.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/beautiful-unicorn-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Start your morning with aggressive realism. The 'Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn' mug is a funny, dishwasher safe ceramic cup perfect for exhausted coworkers and those who hate toxic positivity.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-UNI-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/beautiful-unicorn-funny-sarcastic-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"price\": \"17.00\",\n    \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n    \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\",\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53661446242646,"sku":"3894165_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53661446275414,"sku":"3894165_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_chaotic_illustration_on_a_white_ceramic_mug_of_a_deranged_ugly_unicorn_with_bloodshot_eyes_crooked_teeth_and_messy_pastel_hair._The_text_reads_OOH_I_M_A_BEAUTIFUL_UNICORN_surr.webp?v=1779198009"},{"product_id":"another-year-of-uselessness-interactive-birthday-mug-11oz-15oz","title":"Another Year of Uselessness Interactive Birthday Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman considers traditional birthday cards to be a spectacular waste of paper, money, and time. They are briefly acknowledged, read with feigned enthusiasm, and promptly binned. This premium interactive ceramic vessel replaces that fleeting tradition with a permanent daily reminder of your absolute disdain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Another Year of Uselessness\" interactive mug. It is not just a vessel for hot beverages; it is a permanent replacement for the greeting card, complete with a blank template on the back for your own bespoke insults.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThe Superior Alternative to Cardboard\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not just sell drinkware. We provide a sustainable, long term strategy for insulting your peers. Here is how this interactive piece of Cucumber cream and green merchandise elevates your gifting strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eHumiliate them daily for years to come\u003c\/b\u003e with our premium, thick walled ceramic construction. It is infinitely more durable than a flimsy paper greeting card and built to outlast their fleeting willpower.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eDeliver a bespoke, highly personal insult\u003c\/b\u003e using the \"Fill It In Yourself\" back panel. You can easily write in the recipient's name, your name, and a harsh message of criticism without ever stepping foot in a card shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eEnjoy effortless maintenance\u003c\/b\u003e because the base mug print is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe, ensuring our core design will never peel or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eProject an aura of elite judgement\u003c\/b\u003e courtesy of the front graphic, featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature green cucumber print suit and yellow bow tie, delivering a sharp \"Happy F*cking Birthday\" verdict.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Sarcastic Gifting\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you customise your interactive birthday mug permanently? If you simply want a temporary joke, any standard permanent marker will do. However, to ensure your handwritten message of criticism survives the dishwasher and haunts them forever, we highly recommend using a dedicated ceramic marker. Write your insults on the designated lines, let it dry, and bake the mug in the oven according to the pen manufacturer's instructions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eThis is the definitive answer for anyone searching for a sarcastic birthday gift for a lazy coworker, a total nepotism baby, or an ex partner who still talks to you. It eliminates the need for sentimental drivel and allows you to address their trash vibe directly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53695335956822,"sku":"8584671_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53695335989590,"sku":"8584671_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/another-year-of-uselessness-interactive-birthday-mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197915"},{"product_id":"expected-you-to-die-doing-something-stupid-birthday-mug","title":"Expected You To Die Doing Something Stupid Funny Birthday Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman is genuinely astounded that certain members of your social circle have survived another trip around the sun. Given their complete lack of basic survival instincts and terrible decision making skills, reaching this age is less of a milestone and more of a statistical anomaly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Expected You To Die Doing Something Stupid\" birthday mug. It is the perfect ceramic tribute to that one friend whose continued existence is a genuine medical mystery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eCelebrate Sheer Dumb Luck\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe refuse to offer basic, sentimental birthday greetings when absolute honesty is far more entertaining. This premium vessel provides a masterclass in aggressive realism, perfectly crafted for the perpetually reckless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eAcknowledge their miraculous survival skills\u003c\/b\u003e and project an aura of elite judgment with a hilarious graphic of The Chairman raising a glass of champagne in his signature green cucumber print suit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eDeliver a savage but accurate insult\u003c\/b\u003e over morning coffee, powered by your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eEnsure the joke outlasts their next reckless decision\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a robust, fully microwave and dishwasher safe ceramic build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eToast to their continued existence\u003c\/b\u003e with high definition bespoke printing that keeps the vibrant red lettering and Cucumber green styling from ever peeling or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Insulting the Accident Prone\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIf you are wondering how to properly celebrate a friend who treats health and safety guidelines as mere suggestions, this is your definitive solution. This vessel is designed specifically for the clumsy coworker, the reckless sibling, or the mate whose weekend activities regularly involve emergency room visits. Hand them this mug, raise your own glass, and applaud their baffling ability to cheat death for another year. It is a highly practical gift that gets straight to the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003eDesign Style:\u003c\/b\u003e Sarcastic birthday greeting, dark humour, featuring Sir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Roasting accident prone friends, siblings, and reckless coworkers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003ci data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"15\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your friend's reckless \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"44\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"90\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of their birthday party. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"140\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring gifts in your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"177\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. The bright \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"202\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the red text shows you take their lack of safety seriously. Make sure their coffee is clearly \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"305\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before they stumble out of the local movie \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"356\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just tell them to stay inside with their \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"421\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug so they do not injure themselves!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53773886325078,"sku":"8841287_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53773886357846,"sku":"8841287_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/HAPPY_BIRTHDAY_from_someone_who_fully_expected_you_to_DIE_doing_something_STUPID_by_now._Mug_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197807"},{"product_id":"keep-calm-what-the-f-ck-do-you-want-funny-office-mug","title":"Keep Calm What The F*ck Do You Want Funny Office Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has reached the absolute absolute limit of his patience with modern corporate etiquette. The passive aggressive emails, the constant calendar invitations, and the cheery requests to \"hop on a quick call\" deserve a swift, unfiltered response.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Keep Calm and What The F*ck Do You Want?!\" office mug. It is a premium ceramic masterpiece designed to deliver a masterclass in the severe stare, saving your precious vocal cords from addressing unwanted visitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eCorporate Camouflage at Its Finest\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject standard, overly polite office desk decor. This vessel combines a classic British aesthetic with aggressive workplace realism, perfectly crafted to establish personal boundaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eDeter unwanted colleagues instantly\u003c\/b\u003e with an unyielding front graphic of Sir Cucumber Dog delivering a judgement filled glare in his signature cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eMaintain your exquisite corporate aesthetic\u003c\/b\u003e against a deep, elegant Cucumber green textured background, bordered by intricate gold Victorian scrolls and subtle cucumber details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eSustain your energy levels through the most tedious board meetings\u003c\/b\u003e with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eKeep your workplace boundary active for years\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a highly durable, premium white ceramic build that is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003eEnjoy an permanently vibrant warning\u003c\/b\u003e that will never scratch, peel, or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke sublimation process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Deflecting Desk Invaders\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you use this funny office mug for maximum defensive coverage? Our expert corporate survival advice is simple: tracking. Whenever a colleague wanders over to your desk with a \"quick question,\" do not look up from your screen. Simply lift this premium vessel to eye level, ensuring the bold gold lettering is directed squarely at their face. Hold the position until they stop speaking and back away slowly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eThis is the definitive answer for anyone searching for the best sarcastic office gift for an introverted coworker, a stressed manager, or a business owner who has entirely run out of patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Victorian Anti Positivity, Sarcastic Office Humour, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Silently communicating boundaries and surviving the corporate daily grind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53904985063766,"sku":"8759837_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53904985096534,"sku":"8759837_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Keep_Calm_What_The_Fck_Do_You_Want_Funny_Office_Mug.webp?v=1779197684"},{"product_id":"ding-dong-the-bitch-is-gone-funny-farewell-mug","title":"Ding Dong The Bitch Is Gone Funny Farewell Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman believes that some departures deserve far more than a lukewarm, standard office farewell card signed with feigned sadness. When an absolute nightmare of a person finally leaves your daily orbit, it is not a moment for sorrow; it is a momentous occasion that demands a full celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Ding Dong The Bitch Is Gone!\" funny farewell mug. Set against a beautiful, light Cucumber cream background with elegant vintage detailing, this premium ceramic vessel is the world's first (from what we can tell) multi-purpose freedom celebration mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCelebrate a Glorious Exit\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not do polite masking when a toxic presence finally leaves your life. This vessel provides a masterclass in unapologetic relief, perfectly designed to inject some much-needed humour into a major life upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCommemorate their departure with a glorious thumbs up\u003c\/b\u003e from Sir Cucumber Dog himself, looking sharp in his green cucumber-print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature cucumber monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHost a quiet celebration at your desk or home\u003c\/b\u003e surrounded by a festive arrangement of vintage fireworks, stars, and subtle scroll work that frames the magnificent declaration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eKeep your celebratory beverage topped up\u003c\/b\u003e throughout the happy transition with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy effortless post-celebration cleanup\u003c\/b\u003e because this high-quality white ceramic piece is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe, ensuring the vibrant gold and green print remains flawless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eToast to a peaceful new era\u003c\/b\u003e with a premium wrap-around design applied via our high-definition bespoke sublimation process, guaranteed not to scratch or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Life's Ultimate Upgrades\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you strategically deploy this funny celebratory mug? While it makes a sensational workplace send-off for a toxic manager or an incredibly difficult coworker, it is also the perfect funny just got divorced gift. When a friend successfully untangles themselves from a terrible marriage, do not offer hollow sympathies; hand them this vessel to toast their newfound liberty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eIt also functions flawlessly as the definitive \"just got dumped\" survival token. If someone in your social circle has finally been cut loose from a manipulative ex-partner, this mug serves as an immediate visual reminder that the trash has effectively taken itself out. From what our research can tell, it is the only premium ceramic piece on the market specifically optimised for corporate exits, relationship terminations, and legal separations alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Sarcastic Farewell, Relationship Freedom, Divorce Humour, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Just got divorced gifts, funny breakup presents, escaping colleagues, or office triumphs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e the fact that a difficult person has finally left your workspace or your life, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"136\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your counter. It serves as an exceptional \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"188\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against a dreary atmosphere, bringing a burst of joy to your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"257\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e after witnessing such toxic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"298\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The soft cream \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"323\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the background ensures the bold gold lettering is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"390\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e for all to see. It will quickly become your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"442\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e novelty item to display, offering a level of entertainment usually reserved for the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"547\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53905241047382,"sku":"3021363_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53905241080150,"sku":"3021363_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/ding_dong_the_bitch_has_gone_mug_cucumber_dog.webp?v=1779197445"},{"product_id":"id-agree-with-you-ceramic-office-mug","title":"I'd Agree With You Funny Coworker Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eAt Cucumber Dog, we understand the specific requirements of novelty corporate gifting and premium office accessories. The \"I'd Agree With You\" ceramic mug is engineered for professionals who require a durable, high-quality vessel for their daily caffeine, paired with unapologetic workplace humour. We have created a piece of statement drinkware rooted in expert typography and precise illustration to help you survive incompetent colleagues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThe artwork centres on Sir Cucumber Dog. Our proprietary plush pug mascot is rendered in high-definition detail, wearing his bespoke cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle. He leans casually against a stack of antique books, establishing a scholarly visual entity that perfectly contrasts with the blunt profanity of the message. The phrase \"I'd Agree With You, But Then We'd Both Be Fucking Idiots\" is executed in an elegant, swirling vintage font.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Corporate Hostility\u003c\/b\u003e We do not simply sell vessels for hot water. We provide deeply relatable coping mechanisms designed to establish strict boundaries in the workplace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Hostile Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features our distinguished Chairman delivering a brutal truth wrapped in vintage, high-end typography.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose between a standard 11 oz size for your morning dose of disdain, or a substantial 15 oz vessel for those grueling days when you are surrounded by exceptional stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high-quality finish to withstand scalding hot tea and the exhausting pressure of endless strategy meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long day of pretending to value bad opinions, manually washing a cup is an insult to your remaining energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Place it firmly on your desk to let your colleagues know that any new ideas they bring to you will be judged harshly and immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53938044272982,"sku":"9668196_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53938044305750,"sku":"9668196_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/id-agree-with-you-pug-office-mug.jpg?v=1779381707"},{"product_id":"dogs-obey-cats-consult-ceramic-office-mug","title":"Dogs Obey, Cats Consult Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eAt Cucumber Dog, we recognise the strict administrative hierarchy of household pets. The \"Dogs Obey\" ceramic mug is an astute observation of domestic animal behaviour, engineered for professionals who require premium drinkware and factual accuracy. We have designed a vessel that perfectly encapsulates the friction between blind canine loyalty and bureaucratic feline indifference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eThe artwork features a highly detailed, semantic contrast. On the right sits our esteemed Chairman, Sir Cucumber Dog. As a distinguished plush pug, he is rendered in his bespoke Cucumber green suit with a yellow bow tie. His signature cucumber slice monocle is firmly in place as he stares stoically ahead. On the left, an orange tabby cat gazes back, entirely unbothered by authority. The text \"Dogs obey. Cats consult their diaries and return your call.\" is executed in an elegant, vintage serif typeface set against our signature Cucumber cream background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Pet Bureaucracy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eTo satisfy search intent and consumer demands, we have structured this product to over-deliver on utility and aesthetic precision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz vessel for a brisk morning coffee, or select the substantial 15 oz size for those prolonged shifts where the cat refuses to yield your office chair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Manufactured with a high-gloss finish to withstand both scalding liquids and the tedious nature of endless strategy meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-Definition Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The Cucumber green typography and character details are sublimated with absolute precision to prevent fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Hand-washing is an antiquated practice best left to those with too much free time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53998946025814,"sku":"9257101_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53998946058582,"sku":"9257101_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/dogs-obey-cats-consult-funny-pet-mug_jpg.jpg?v=1779812049"},{"product_id":"sir-cucumber-dog-sweeping-the-floor-with-your-nuts-mug","title":"Sir Cucumber Dog \"Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eGive the perfect rude birthday gag gift with the Sir Cucumber Dog \"Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts\" mug. Featuring our signature plush pug in his bespoke cucumber green suit, yellow bow tie, and cucumber monocle, this vintage style ceramic mug delivers cheeky British humour straight to their morning coffee. Available in both standard 11 oz and large 15 oz sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Design \u0026amp; Story\u003c\/b\u003e Gravity spares no man. Celebrate another year on the clock with a design that mixes high class sophistication with brilliant low brow humour. Set against a distressed, vintage parchment background in our signature Cucumber cream, complete with anatomical walnut illustrations, Sir Cucumber Dog stares in judgement while delivering the ultimate birthday reality check: \"CONGRATULATIONS! You're officially one year closer to sweeping the floor with your nuts.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Technical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e We use premium ceramic bases fulfilled through Printful to ensure your cheeky gift survives daily use and multiple washes without fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% durable white ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSizes Available:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard brew and 15 oz large\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Microwave and dishwasher safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrint Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e High colour wrap around sublimation printing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFinish:\u003c\/b\u003e Glossy, scratch resistant surface\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e For our friends across the pond, here is your translation guide:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCheeky humour:\u003c\/b\u003e Sassy humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSweeping the floor:\u003c\/b\u003e Dragging on the ground\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eNuts:\u003c\/b\u003e Balls or testicles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColour:\u003c\/b\u003e Color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54022221726038,"sku":"8538027_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54022221758806,"sku":"8538027_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/congratulations_sweeping_your_nuts.jpg?v=1780041590"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/collections\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e24e5f52c23.jpg?v=1776966477","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/collections-funny-rude-mugs.oembed","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}