{"title":"Corporate Hostility | Sarcastic Office Mugs","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eWelcome to the mandatory HR survival sector. This curated collection of sarcastic office mugs is engineered specifically for the heavily fatigued corporate cynic. Whether you are actively ignoring a mandatory team building exercise or simply trying to survive another daily stand up that could have easily been an email, these premium ceramic barriers do the communicating so you do not have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eFeaturing our strictly regulated Cucumber green and Cucumber cream aesthetic, each piece of drinkware is formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, our esteemed pug Chairman. Upgrade your desk real estate with premium corporate humour and keep overly cheerful colleagues at a highly regulated distance.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-talk-to-myself-white-glossy-mug","title":"\"Talk To Myself\" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Only Intelligent Conversation Left\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has spent a considerable amount of time observing human interaction, and frankly, he is unimpressed. The small talk, the weather, the unsolicited opinions: it is all quite exhausting. He has concluded that the only way to guarantee a high level of intellectual discourse is to simply speak to yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on as you enjoy a private joke with the only person who truly understands you: yourself. The bold text reads: \"SOMETIMES I TALK TO MYSELF BECAUSE I NEED EXPERT ADVICE.\" It is the perfect vessel for the office eccentric, the home-worker who has gone slightly feral, or anyone who finds the rest of society to be a bit of a letdown.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Social Shield:\u003c\/b\u003e Hold this mug up during meetings to signal that you are already engaged in a far more interesting internal dialogue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are sipping an Earl Grey or a stiff black coffee, this high-gloss white ceramic ensures your drink stays warm while your social life cools off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDishwasher and Microwave Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e The Chairman’s scowl is engineered to withstand the heat. The print is high-definition and designed to resist fading, even after hundreds of washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e An ideal choice for that one friend who is legally prohibited from being \"the life of the party.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who have a lot to say to themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a vibrant, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your health so you can continue your solitary monologues in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51539734462806,"sku":"1262161_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51539734495574,"sku":"1262161_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7b1a3cafbb.jpg?v=1776793393"},{"product_id":"my-favourite-word-is-moist-white-mug","title":"\"My Favourite Word is Moist\" Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Linguistic Weapon of Mass Irritation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed that the human race possesses a peculiar, collective loathing for a specific six-letter word. While he, being a cucumber-based entity, finds the concept of \"moisture\" to be a sign of peak freshness, he recognizes that for you lot, it is the verbal equivalent of a damp handshake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eNaturally, he has decided to put it on a mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on with his usual aristocratic disdain as you watch your colleagues visibly shudder. The bold text proudly declares your preference for the most hated word in the English language. It is the perfect choice for the office antagonist, the professional pot-stirrer, or anyone who enjoys the silence that follows a truly uncomfortable statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Audit: Offensive Rating\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOffensive Rating:\u003c\/b\u003e 4\/5\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Quote:\u003c\/b\u003e \"Visceral. Unpleasant. A linguistic crime against humanity. Sir Cucumber Dog is delighted by the discomfort this will cause.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaximum Cringe Factor:\u003c\/b\u003e Most rude mugs use profanity: this mug uses psychological warfare. It is far more effective at clearing a room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vault Exclusive:\u003c\/b\u003e As part of our NSFW range, this is designed for those who have abandoned all hope of being liked and have chosen to be memorable instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"73\"\u003eCucumber green\u003c\/b\u003e accents stay vibrant while you ruin everyone’s morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s scowl and that dreaded word are engineered to resist fading, much like the memory of your poor social choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for when you have a lot of moisture to celebrate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a high-definition, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your physical health while you damage your social standing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51541216133462,"sku":"9160027_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51541216166230,"sku":"9160027_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e79cd9b7ab3.jpg?v=1776793781"},{"product_id":"festive-middle-finger-magic-mug-heat-changing-mug","title":"Rude Christmas Mug | Colour Changing \"Festive Finger\" Novelty Gift | Secret Santa","description":"\u003c!--StartFragment--\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGive the Gift of a Festive Surprise!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKnow someone who's a little bit naughty and nice? Or maybe just naughty? This \u003cb\u003erude Christmas mug\u003c\/b\u003e is the ultimate holiday \u003cb\u003eprank\u003c\/b\u003e, wrapped in a layer of magic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt starts as a sleek, unassuming 11oz black mug. But pour in a hot coffee, tea, or hot chocolate, and watch the Christmas \"magic\" happen... BAM! A row of four cheeky, \u003cb\u003ewinking middle fingers\u003c\/b\u003e in Santa hats appears to greet the world. It’s the perfect way to say \u003cb\u003e\"Seasons Greetings\"\u003c\/b\u003e with a healthy dose of \u003cb\u003eattitude\u003c\/b\u003e. This isn't just a mug; it's a \u003cb\u003estatement piece\u003c\/b\u003e for anyone who loves their holidays with a side of \u003cb\u003esarcasm\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhy It's the Perfect Festive Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Ultimate Secret Santa:\u003c\/b\u003e Guaranteed to be the most talked-about \u003cb\u003eoffice party gift\u003c\/b\u003e!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHilarious Stocking Stuffer:\u003c\/b\u003e Surprise your favourite \u003cb\u003egrinch\u003c\/b\u003e with a gift that truly understands their festive spirit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhite Elephant Winner:\u003c\/b\u003e You'll instantly win (or lose, depending on who you ask) the \u003cb\u003ewhite elephant exchange\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eJust Because:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect \u003cb\u003ecolour changing mug\u003c\/b\u003e for that one friend or family member who speaks \u003cb\u003efluent sarcasm\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eType:\u003c\/b\u003e 11oz \u003cb\u003eColour Changing \"Magic\" Mug\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColour:\u003c\/b\u003e Black when cold, reveals the \u003cb\u003evibrant design\u003c\/b\u003e when hot\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDesign:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality, durable \u003cb\u003e\"Festive Finger\"\u003c\/b\u003e print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e Durable Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT CARE INSTRUCTIONS:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo keep the magic alive, please follow these rules: \u003cb\u003eHAND WASH ONLY.\u003c\/b\u003e (The high heat of a dishwasher will destroy the magic coating) \u003cb\u003eNOT MICROWAVE SAFE.\u003c\/b\u003e (Seriously, don't do it.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!--EndFragment--\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"White","offer_id":51775783436630,"sku":"COL-MUG-WHI","price":16.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/mockup-7664614fae91ee74f4c7ee2b2923a017-_1.png?v=1762769386"},{"product_id":"if-you-can-read-this-funny-office-mug-11oz-colour-changing","title":"Rude Colour Changing Mug | Social Battery Indicator | Funny Office Gift for Introverts","description":"\u003c!--StartFragment--\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Ultimate \u003cb\u003eSocial Battery Indicator\u003c\/b\u003e!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe all know those mornings where even breathing feels like too much \u003cb\u003esocial interaction\u003c\/b\u003e. For those days, let your \u003cb\u003ecolour changing mug\u003c\/b\u003e do the talking... or, more accurately, the warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis 11oz mug starts as a sleek, innocent black void—perfectly matching how you feel inside. But as you pour in your life-giving hot beverage, a critical message magically appears in that signature, eye-watering \u003cb\u003elime green\u003c\/b\u003e: \u003cb\u003e\"IF YOU CAN READ THIS, LEAVE ME ALONE UNTIL YOU CAN'T!\"\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s the perfect paradox: by the time anyone can read the warning, it's already too late for them. But it serves as a clear sign that you are mid-recharge and all non-essential communication is banned until the mug is empty. This is the \u003cb\u003eperfect funny gift\u003c\/b\u003e for \u003cb\u003eintroverts\u003c\/b\u003e and anyone suffering from \u003cb\u003esocial anxiety\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhy It's the Perfect Warning System:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eA Clear Message:\u003c\/b\u003e No more grunting at co-workers. Just point to the \u003cb\u003eslogan mug\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHilarious Office Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect \u003cb\u003erude gift\u003c\/b\u003e for the friend or \u003cb\u003ecolleague who hates mornings\u003c\/b\u003e (and maybe people, too).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSarcasm Activated:\u003c\/b\u003e It's literally powered by heat and sarcasm—a genuine \u003cb\u003enovelty mug\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThat Colour!\u003c\/b\u003e It's not just any green; it's the official green of \u003cb\u003e\"I'm not kidding, go away.\"\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eType:\u003c\/b\u003e 11oz \u003cb\u003eColour Changing \"Magic\" Mug\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColour:\u003c\/b\u003e Black when cold, reveals the design when hot\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDesign:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality, durable print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT CARE INSTRUCTIONS:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug is magical, but also a bit of a diva. To protect its powers: \u003cb\u003eHAND WASH ONLY.\u003c\/b\u003e (Dishwashers are magic-killing machines) \u003cb\u003eNOT MICROWAVE SAFE.\u003c\/b\u003e (Don't risk the meltdown)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!--EndFragment--\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"White","offer_id":51775881642326,"sku":"COL-MUG-WHI","price":16.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/mockup-8ebdded8c5931e1371c7f2a82ad764fc-_1.png?v=1762769382"},{"product_id":"i-dont-like-you-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"I Don't Like You\" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHonesty is the best policy. Usually.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSome mornings, you just need to let the world know exactly where they stand before you’ve even finished your first coffee. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"128\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e mug features the iconic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"165\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e in his signature green suit, delivering the blunt, sarcastic message that everyone else is thinking, but only you (and the pug) are brave enough to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eWhether it’s for the office, the kitchen, or as a gift for that one person who appreciates a bit of \"rude and funny\" humor, this mug is the ultimate conversation starter (or finisher).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eWhy it’s better than your average mug:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Approved:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality print featuring the most judgmental pug in the business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Two Moods:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"49\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a quick caffeine hit, or a massive \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"94\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those days when \"I don't like you\" needs to last all morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Real Life:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e doesn't expect you to do the washing up by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafe for Humans:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free ceramic, ensuring your sarcasm remains the only toxic thing in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eCrafted to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eAt \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"3\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e, we don’t believe in dusty warehouses. Your mug is created specifically for you the moment you order it. This reduces waste and ensures your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"157\"\u003efunny pug gift\u003c\/b\u003e arrives fresh and ready to offend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping.\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog covers the delivery costs on every single order. No hidden fees, just zero bullsh*t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52779887427926,"sku":"6741091_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aec12f6e722.jpg?v=1776700214"},{"product_id":"grumpy-aristocrat-this-could-have-been-an-email-white-mug","title":"Grumpy Aristocrat - 'This Could Have Been An Email' White Mug","description":"Sip Your Silent Judgment in Sophisticated Cucumber Style.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIntroduce your beverage to a level of weary sophistication it never knew it needed. The Grumpy Aristocrat mug, featuring our defining design from the Sir Cucumber Dog collection, is more than a cup; it's a statement.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCrafted from high-quality white ceramic, this 11oz mug is the physical incarnation of every moment spent in a meeting that should, frankly, have been an email. The centerpiece is our meticulous grumpy aristocratic bulldog, adorned in his tailored patterned waistcoat and sporting his signature, judgmental cucumber slice monocle. He is a master of efficient disdain, silently asking the hard questions: Why are we here? Is there a faster way to ignore you?","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52788627767638,"sku":"1110743_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52788627800406,"sku":"1110743_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b00a1ccd7b6.jpg?v=1776678971"},{"product_id":"not-a-morning-or-afternoon-person-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Not a Morning Person\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe funny rude mug for people who are not a morning person… or an afternoon person.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLet’s be honest. Time doesn’t matter when you’re simply not built for human interaction. Whether it’s 8:00 AM or 3:00 PM, the vibe is the same: absolutely not. This funny rude mug is made for anyone who runs on caffeine, sarcasm, and minimal conversation.\u003cbr\u003eFeaturing the ever-unimpressed Cucumber Dog, suited, monocled, and judging the entire concept of “being approachable,” this funny coffee mug delivers your message loud and clear:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI’M NOT A MORNING PERSON. OR AN AFTERNOON PERSON.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s the perfect sarcastic mug for your desk, a brilliant funny gift for introverts, and an essential tool for keeping small talk at a safe distance while you sip in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhy this mug is a mood:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Approved: Features the original pug in a suit for maximum judgment.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo Sizes Available: Choose the 11 oz for a quick brew or the 15 oz for those days when human interaction is particularly difficult.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuilt to Last: High-gloss white ceramic that is lead and BPA-free.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEasy Maintenance: Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because you definitely aren't a \"washing up person\" either.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePicture this on your desk or kitchen counter, quietly warning the world before anyone attempts conversation. No awkward chats. No forced enthusiasm. Just you, your drink, and a very clear message.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny rude gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIntroverts and antisocial legends\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOffice survival mugs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who hates mornings… and everything after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFree UK shipping on all orders (yes, really).\u003c\/strong\u003e Each mug is made to order, so please allow a few extra days for printing and dispatch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis funny rude mug is the perfect novelty gift in the UK for anyone who loves sarcastic humour, introvert jokes, and bold designs that say exactly what they’re thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791261299030,"sku":"1875238_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791261331798,"sku":"1875238_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b04f5cc08bd.jpg?v=1776356180"},{"product_id":"proud-team-player-i-hate-you-all-mug-funny-sarcastic-work-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Proud Team Player\" Mug | Funny Rude Work Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe ultimate funny office mug for surviving workplace politics.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you’ve ever smiled through a meeting while mentally drafting your resignation speech, this funny work mug gets it. The “Proud Team Player” mug is designed for anyone walking the fine line between professional excellence and total internal meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis brilliantly sarcastic office mug shows both sides of your personality. One side proudly declares:\u003cbr\u003ePROUD TEAM PLAYER!\u003cbr\u003eFlip it around, and there’s the truth you’re really thinking:\u003cbr\u003eI HATE YOU ALL!!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBoth sides feature the ever-judgemental Cucumber Dog, suited, monocled, and silently questioning every life choice that led you to that meeting.\u003cbr\u003eSet on crisp white ceramic, the bold design makes your message loud and clear, whether you’re facing your boss or protecting your sanity. It’s the perfect funny coworker gift, a savage Secret Santa option, or a daily survival tool for your own desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhy this is the best seat at the table:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eDual-Sided Design:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFeatures both the \"Team Player\" and \"I Hate You\" slogans.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSignature Style: Showcases Sir Cucumber Dog in his iconic lime green suit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuilt for the Office: Microwave and dishwasher safe for those endless back-to-back meetings.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium Quality: Lead and BPA-free ceramic that feels as solid as your workplace boundaries.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePicture this sitting on your desk during a meeting. Boss walks past? Team Player side forward. Colleagues testing your patience? Quick swivel. Instant honesty. Zero consequences (hopefully).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny office gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRude coworker presents\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSecret Santa chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone surviving corporate life with sarcasm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eFree UK shipping on all orders (yes, really). Each mug is made to order, so please allow a few extra days for printing and dispatch.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791324246358,"sku":"4457000_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791324279126,"sku":"4457000_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0533e2a40b.jpg?v=1776354692"},{"product_id":"busier-than-a-cucumber-mug-funny-rude-sir-cucumber-dog-gift","title":"The Ultimate Boundary Setting Device: The \"Busier Than A Cucumber\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhen your schedule is absolute chaos, let the mug do the talking. If your calendar is a disaster and your to-do list has become sentient, this funny rude mug is your official badge of honour. The \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"196\"\u003eBusier Than a Cucumber\u003c\/b\u003e mug is designed for those juggling too much, surviving on caffeine, and communicating exclusively through high level sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis essential piece from our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"30\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection features the legendary \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"75\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e himself. Dressed in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, he delivers pure judgement with aristocratic style. Set against a signature Cucumber green label on a crisp white ceramic body, the design is printed on both sides to ensure your boundary setting is visible from every angle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug Handles the Pressure\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIt is more than a vessel for coffee: it is a strategic tool for the modern workplace. Picture it sitting on your desk while emails pile up and deadlines loom, quietly informing everyone to back off without you having to utter a single word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured on both sides, making his dapper disdain visible to everyone in the room, whether you are left or right handed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Sarcastic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for office gifts, rude Secret Santa presents, or that work bestie who is permanently \"flat out\" but still thriving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSignature Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e The Cucumber green and white colour scheme provides a sophisticated, clean look for a beautifully inappropriate joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overworked\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes Available:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz (9.6 cm height) or 15 oz (11.9 cm height).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e High quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for the Grind:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally in whatever country you are in to ensure fast delivery and a lower carbon footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree Global Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Colonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"21\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e coworker, this is the one. Whether they work in an office or a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"127\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e for excellence, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"155\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the perfect \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"185\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against a busy schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791409181014,"sku":"4890941_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791409213782,"sku":"4890941_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/busier_than_a_cucumber_in_a_woman_s_prison_funny_rude_Cucumber_Dog_mug.jpg?v=1777195749"},{"product_id":"the-im-a-wet-fart-mug","title":"The Ultimate Badge of Mediocrity: The \"Wet Fart\" Edition Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIt is a rare thing for a human to possess the self-awareness to admit they are an absolute damp squib. While Sir Cucumber Dog generally expects perfection, he finds this level of brutal honesty almost tolerable. This mug is the ultimate badge of honour for those days when you are definitely not \"crushing it.\" In fact, you are not even making a dent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design features a high end \"Cucumber cream\" label wrap, framed by detailed \"Cucumber green\" borders and an intricate ornate divider. The phrase \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003e\"I’M THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A WET FART\"\u003c\/b\u003e is rendered in bold, vintage-inspired typography, perfectly balanced by the sophisticated subtitle: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"325\"\u003e\"EDITION OF ONE.\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a juxtaposition of refined, aristocratic aesthetics and the kind of low-brow humour that makes the Chairman tilt his head in silent judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality for the Walking Anticlimax\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog refuses to put his name on anything flimsy. Even if you feel like a disappointment, your mug should not be one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e The design is printed on both sides, ensuring your lack of potential is visible to everyone in the room, whether you are a leftie or a rightie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Finish:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly crafted to ensure the Cucumber green and cream colours remain sharp, vibrant, and entirely resistant to fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStrategic Lowered Expectations:\u003c\/b\u003e Carry this into a meeting to ensure nobody asks you for anything important. It is a brilliant tool for avoiding responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLow Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. Because let us be honest, you likely do not have the energy for hand-washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Self-Aware\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to survive the morning or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are functional, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A robust, high-gloss white ceramic build that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your badge of mediocrity arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the Chairman’s designs reach you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e mediocre friend with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"63\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"80\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"102\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of our collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"142\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against high expectations and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"190\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily failure. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"233\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of self-deprecation is sure to be a hit in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"288\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e or office breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53114479509846,"sku":"9331373_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53114479542614,"sku":"9331373_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Funny_white_ceramic_mug_tilted_featuring_a_beige_label_with_the_rude_quote_I_m_the_human_equivalent_of_a_wet_fart..png?v=1776351308"},{"product_id":"promoted-beyond-your-competence-office-mug-sir-cucumber-dog","title":"The Accidental Promotion Mug: A Celebration of Incompetence","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe career ladder is a treacherous thing. Some people climb it with grace, while others simply trip on the bottom rung and find themselves accidentally propelled into management. If you or a colleague have successfully risen to the absolute peak of your inability, this is the commemorative ceramic you deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eBased on the legendary Peter Principle, this design is a stunning monument to corporate failure. It is the perfect gift for the newly promoted boss who has no idea what they are doing, or for the seasoned veteran who has been winging it since 1994.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Career Satire\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing Sir Cucumber Dog in his most regal and disappointed state, this mug brings a touch of high end disdain to every meeting. Set within an ornate gold frame, the Chairman observes your inevitable downfall with the quiet patience of a pug who knows you are just one spreadsheet away from a total meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Peter Principle in Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A daily reminder that you have finally reached the level where you are no longer useful. It is a liberating realization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eImperial Aesthetics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a much needed anchor of sophistication for your messy desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Strategic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Secret Santa, office leaving dos, or simply as a \"Congratulations\" to the person who just failed upwards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously covered the delivery cost. We will get this tribute to your incompetence to your doorstep without any unnecessary faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overwhelmed Manager\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to calm your nerves or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are productive, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to last longer than your current job security.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand. This reduces waste and ensures we aren't overproducing items that the Chairman would only have to judge later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e boss, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"82\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any office gift exchange. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"132\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against corporate boredom and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"180\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily grind. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of management failure is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"267\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any office or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"300\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Promoted Beyond Your Competence Office Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/promoted-beyond-your-competence-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Call out corporate ineptitude with the Promoted Beyond Your Competence office mug. A funny, premium ceramic cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, perfect for that one manager who has no idea what they are doing.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-INCOMPETENCE-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/promoted-beyond-your-competence-office-mug-sir-cucumber-dog\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53200790978902,"sku":"7548610_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53200791011670,"sku":"7548610_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_sarcastic_promotion_mug_Cucumber_Dog_mug_with_the_text_reads_YOU_HAVE_BEEN_PROMOTED_BEYOND_YOUR_LEVEL_OF_COMPETENCE_followed_by_CONGRATULATIONS_ON_THE_ACCIDENT.jpg?v=1777037414"},{"product_id":"i-fart-in-lifts-funny-rude-mug","title":"The I Fart In Lifts Ceramic Mug: A Masterclass in Social Distancing","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThere are few things as quintessentially British as standing in a confined metal box with strangers and maintaining absolute silence. Sir Cucumber Dog believes that if you are going to break that silence, you should do it with a level of biological warfare that ensures you never have to share a lift again. This mug is for the individual who treats a three floor journey as a prime opportunity for atmospheric disruption.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of Social Sabotage\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eFeaturing a candid illustration of a gentleman in a state of high pressure panic, this design captures the exact moment a quiet commute becomes a memorable event. Set against a deep forest green background, the bold cream text leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Warning Label:\u003c\/b\u003e It is the perfect office accessory for the person who simply cannot be trusted in small spaces.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Branding:\u003c\/b\u003e While the subject matter is, quite literally, gas, the quality is undeniably premium. Every mug features the underlying judgement of the Cucumber Dog empire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTactical Honesty:\u003c\/b\u003e Stop hiding your biological reality. Wear your flaws on your drink ware and watch as your colleagues suddenly decide to take the stairs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously decided that the air in the delivery van should remain fresh for as long as possible. We will get this to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Frequent Flyer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhether you need a small caffeine hit to fuel your next floor jump or a massive bucket of tea for the long ride to the penthouse, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to survive the heat, unlike the passengers in your lift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eZero Waste Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand to reduce overproduction. It is a thoughtful approach to a very thoughtless design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e prankster with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"74\"\u003eelevator\u003c\/b\u003e joke is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"95\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any conversation. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"137\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against awkward silences and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily commute. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"227\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of flatulence is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"265\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any office or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"298\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"I Fart In Lifts Funny Rude Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/i-fart-in-lifts-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Clear the room with the I Fart In Lifts funny rude mug. A premium ceramic cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, perfect for office banter and those who appreciate unapologetic toilet humour.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-FARTLIFT-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/i-fart-in-lifts-funny-rude-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53256128823638,"sku":"2214021_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53256128856406,"sku":"2214021_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/I_Fart_In_Lifts_Funny_Cucumber_Dog_Mug.jpg?v=1777037107"},{"product_id":"underwater-kite-flying-association-funny-mug","title":"The Underwater Kite Flying Association Office Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has observed your daily routine and concluded that it closely resembles the plight of the vintage diver on this premium ceramic vessel. You wake up, put on a heavy suit of professional expectations, and attempt to achieve the impossible in an environment that is actively working against you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the official mug of The Underwater Kite Flying Association. Established in 1983 and proudly boasting absolutely zero progress. This is the ultimate desktop companion for middle management, beleaguered creatives, and anyone who understands the profound futility of modern employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Absolute Futility\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not simply sell vessels for hot water. We provide deeply relatable coping mechanisms designed to filter out the overly enthusiastic and attract those who appreciate a good dose of reality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunningly detailed illustration of a diver attempting to fly a vibrant diamond kite beneath the waves. It perfectly encapsulates the feeling of your average Tuesday afternoon status update.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose between a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"49\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for your morning dose of apathy, or a substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"110\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e vessel for those gruelling days that require heavy liquid reinforcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Clear Value Proposition:\u003c\/b\u003e Why buy a boring, generic mug when you can own a conversation piece that actively lowers expectations? It answers the age old question of what to do when you are handed an impossible task.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the crushing pressure of corporate deadlines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long day of achieving absolutely nothing, manually washing a cup is an insult to your remaining energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Place it firmly on your desk to let your colleagues know that any new projects they assign will be met with the exact same level of success as underwater aerodynamics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your lack of productivity, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"84\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"123\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against bosses who demand high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"162\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e standards and constant progress in your corporate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. Pour your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"245\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e coffee into the 11 oz or 15 oz size, admire the vibrant \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"310\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the diver, and enjoy the absurdity like you are watching a comedy at the local \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"398\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53490379293014,"sku":"9671614_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53490379325782,"sku":"9671614_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/The_Underwater_Kite_Flying_Association_Office_Mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1778082764"},{"product_id":"kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-funny-mug","title":"Kindly Pardon My Arrogance Funny Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIf you are searching for the best \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"34\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e, The Chairman is here to help. Sir Cucumber Dog firmly believes that honesty is the best policy. However, dealing with insufferable members of the general public requires tact. A touch of polite preamble makes the final verdict much sweeter. If a colleague requires a formal reality check, this ceramic vessel is perfect. It serves as the ultimate gavel of justice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the Kindly Pardon My Arrogance mug. It is the absolute pinnacle of British insults. It is perfectly disguised as a sophisticated desktop accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Formal Judgement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drinkware. We provide highly formal declarations of disdain. These \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"119\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e are for people who desperately need a reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Offensive Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunning illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog holding court. He wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie. He sits within an ornate wooden crest with decorative cucumbers. A gold seal delivers the final glorious verdict: TWAT!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for a swift insult over morning tea. Or select the substantial 15 oz vessel for a larger reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands hot coffee and the shocked gasps of your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand after a flawless insult is entirely beneath your dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order using a high quality bespoke process. Your new vessel arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this offensive pug mug designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. The word \"TWAT\" is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat colours are used in this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. Sir Cucumber Dog wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"FAQPage\",\n  \"mainEntity\": [\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Who is this offensive pug mug designed for?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yes, it absolutely is. The word 'TWAT' is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"What colours are used in this specific design?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. Sir Cucumber Dog wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie.\"\n      }\n    }\n  ]\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Kindly Pardon My Arrogance Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Deliver the ultimate insult with the Kindly Pardon My Arrogance mug. A premium, funny ceramic cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog delivering a harsh verdict.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-ARROGANCE-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-funny-mug?variant=53504457441622\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53504457441622,"sku":"6104341_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53504457474390,"sku":"6104341_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_inside_an_ornate_wooden_crest._Below_him_is_a_judge_s_gavel_and_a_gold_seal._Text_reads_KINDLY_PARDON_MY_ARROGANCE_BUT..._Y.jpg?v=1778159583"},{"product_id":"keep-calm-what-the-f-ck-do-you-want-funny-office-mug","title":"Keep Calm What The F*ck Do You Want Funny Office Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has reached the absolute absolute limit of his patience with modern corporate etiquette. The passive aggressive emails, the constant calendar invitations, and the cheery requests to \"hop on a quick call\" deserve a swift, unfiltered response.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Keep Calm and What The F*ck Do You Want?!\" office mug. It is a premium ceramic masterpiece designed to deliver a masterclass in the severe stare, saving your precious vocal cords from addressing unwanted visitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eCorporate Camouflage at Its Finest\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject standard, overly polite office desk decor. This vessel combines a classic British aesthetic with aggressive workplace realism, perfectly crafted to establish personal boundaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eDeter unwanted colleagues instantly\u003c\/b\u003e with an unyielding front graphic of Sir Cucumber Dog delivering a judgement filled glare in his signature cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eMaintain your exquisite corporate aesthetic\u003c\/b\u003e against a deep, elegant Cucumber green textured background, bordered by intricate gold Victorian scrolls and subtle cucumber details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eSustain your energy levels through the most tedious board meetings\u003c\/b\u003e with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eKeep your workplace boundary active for years\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a highly durable, premium white ceramic build that is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003eEnjoy an permanently vibrant warning\u003c\/b\u003e that will never scratch, peel, or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke sublimation process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Deflecting Desk Invaders\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you use this funny office mug for maximum defensive coverage? Our expert corporate survival advice is simple: tracking. Whenever a colleague wanders over to your desk with a \"quick question,\" do not look up from your screen. Simply lift this premium vessel to eye level, ensuring the bold gold lettering is directed squarely at their face. Hold the position until they stop speaking and back away slowly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eThis is the definitive answer for anyone searching for the best sarcastic office gift for an introverted coworker, a stressed manager, or a business owner who has entirely run out of patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Victorian Anti Positivity, Sarcastic Office Humour, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Silently communicating boundaries and surviving the corporate daily grind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53904985063766,"sku":"8759837_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53904985096534,"sku":"8759837_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Keep_Calm_What_The_Fck_Do_You_Want_Funny_Office_Mug.webp?v=1779197684"},{"product_id":"id-agree-with-you-ceramic-office-mug","title":"I'd Agree With You Funny Coworker Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eAt Cucumber Dog, we understand the specific requirements of novelty corporate gifting and premium office accessories. The \"I'd Agree With You\" ceramic mug is engineered for professionals who require a durable, high-quality vessel for their daily caffeine, paired with unapologetic workplace humour. We have created a piece of statement drinkware rooted in expert typography and precise illustration to help you survive incompetent colleagues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThe artwork centres on Sir Cucumber Dog. Our proprietary plush pug mascot is rendered in high-definition detail, wearing his bespoke cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle. He leans casually against a stack of antique books, establishing a scholarly visual entity that perfectly contrasts with the blunt profanity of the message. The phrase \"I'd Agree With You, But Then We'd Both Be Fucking Idiots\" is executed in an elegant, swirling vintage font.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Corporate Hostility\u003c\/b\u003e We do not simply sell vessels for hot water. We provide deeply relatable coping mechanisms designed to establish strict boundaries in the workplace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Hostile Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features our distinguished Chairman delivering a brutal truth wrapped in vintage, high-end typography.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose between a standard 11 oz size for your morning dose of disdain, or a substantial 15 oz vessel for those grueling days when you are surrounded by exceptional stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high-quality finish to withstand scalding hot tea and the exhausting pressure of endless strategy meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long day of pretending to value bad opinions, manually washing a cup is an insult to your remaining energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Place it firmly on your desk to let your colleagues know that any new ideas they bring to you will be judged harshly and immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53938044272982,"sku":"9668196_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53938044305750,"sku":"9668196_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/id-agree-with-you-pug-office-mug.jpg?v=1779381707"},{"product_id":"the-genuinely-exhausting-office-mug","title":"The 'Genuinely Exhausting' Office Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eSome meetings could have been an email; some colleagues simply should not speak at all. Enter Sir Cucumber, your new Chief Auditor of Effort. The 'Genuinely Exhausting' mug is the ultimate desk accessory for surviving redundant anecdotes, pointless questions, and unnecessary repetition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eFeaturing our devastatingly dapper pug diligently cataloguing the sheer incompetence of everyone around him, this premium ceramic vessel does the heavy lifting of telling people to go away so you do not have to. It is the perfect passive-aggressive corporate gift for the professional who is running on empty and fuelled entirely by spite and Earl Grey. Place it prominently next to your keyboard to ensure absolute silence when you are trying to work.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Details:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003ePremium ceramic build engineered to withstand the dishwasher, the microwave, and aggressive desk-slamming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eFeatures a crisp, high-definition print of Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature Cucumber Green suit, complete with his auditing paperwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003eThe ideal capacity for copious amounts of tea to help you tolerate the workday peasantry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54487528243542,"sku":"4632166_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54487528276310,"sku":"4632166_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-6a4fa3779923a.jpg?v=1783690422"},{"product_id":"the-morning-peasant-sarcastic-coffee-mug","title":"The 'Morning Peasant' Sarcastic Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eStart your day by radiating pure, unadulterated hostility. The 'Morning Peasant' mug is the ultimate desk accessory for anyone who views morning cheerfulness as a personal attack. Featuring a deeply furious illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature Cucumber Green suit and yellow bow tie, this premium ceramic vessel delivers a targeted insult before you even have to open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eThe sweeping, elegant script lulls your victim into a false sense of security before the aggressive block text drops the hammer: \"Good morning to everyone except you.\" Engineered for the modern workplace, this high-gloss mug survives the dishwasher, the microwave, and the sheer exhaustion of enduring other people. It is the perfect piece of posh-filth homeware to keep the peasantry firmly away from your desk before 9 AM.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Details:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003ePremium high-gloss ceramic build designed for longevity and daily office warfare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eAvailable in standard 11oz and generous 15oz sizes for those who require copious amounts of caffeine to tolerate their environment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003eFeatures a crisp, high-definition print against the classic Cucumber Cream background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54488611455318,"sku":"9371565_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54488611488086,"sku":"9371565_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_cream_ceramic_mug_featuring_a_furious_pug_in_a_green_suit_reading_Good_morning_to_everyone_except_you_by_Sir_Cucumber_Dog..jpg?v=1783689976"},{"product_id":"weaponized-incompetence-in-a-suit-sarcastic-mug","title":"Weaponized Incompetence In A Suit | Sarcastic Desk Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you completely exhausted by colleagues who pretend they do not know how to convert a simple PDF document just to avoid the task? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to call out the strategic uselessness of corporate professionals before they even open their mouths.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward facing panel, the brutal quote \"WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE IN A SUIT\" is printed strictly vertically against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant design choice formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory that cannot be engaged with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eOn the reverse side, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply fatigued professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits, or the large 15 oz size for days requiring maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545384505686,"sku":"6549188_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545384538454,"sku":"6549188_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5632416fe17.jpg?v=1784033907"},{"product_id":"stepped-in-things-better-manners-rude-mug","title":"Stepped In Things With Better Manners | Rude Desk Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you entirely exhausted by colleagues who consistently fail to grasp basic workplace etiquette? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to stop incredibly rude professionals before they even open their mouths.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward facing panel, the brutal quote \"STEPPED IN THINGS WITH BETTER MANNERS\" is printed strictly vertically against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant design choice formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory that cannot be engaged with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eOn the reverse side, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply fatigued professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits, or the large 15 oz size for days requiring maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545390305622,"sku":"7382444_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545390338390,"sku":"7382444_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5632826fcb6.jpg?v=1784033965"},{"product_id":"spectacularly-exhausting-individual-funny-mug","title":"A Spectacularly Exhausting Individual | Funny Work Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you completely drained by colleagues who turn a simple morning greeting into a massive intellectual ordeal? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to stop incredibly taxing professionals before they even open their mouths.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward facing panel, the brutal quote \"A SPECTACULARLY EXHAUSTING INDIVIDUAL\" is printed strictly vertically against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant design choice formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory that cannot be engaged with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eOn the reverse side, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply fatigued professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits, or the large 15 oz size for days requiring maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545401348438,"sku":"7617216_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545401381206,"sku":"7617216_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5632c932a3c.jpg?v=1784034062"},{"product_id":"i-would-agree-but-then-we-would-both-be-wrong-sarcastic-mug","title":"I Would Agree But Then We Would Both Be Wrong | Sarcastic Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you completely exhausted by colleagues who confidently present entirely incorrect information? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to stop intellectually vacant professionals in their tracks without requiring you to actually speak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward facing panel, the brutal quote \"I WOULD AGREE BUT THEN WE WOULD BOTH BE WRONG\" is printed strictly vertically against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant design choice formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory that cannot be engaged with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eOn the reverse side, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply exhausted professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in both a standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits and a large 15 oz size for days that require maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545406001494,"sku":"3216115_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545406034262,"sku":"3216115_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5633222d8c9.jpg?v=1784034131"},{"product_id":"tragically-unburdened-by-intellect-funny-mug","title":"Tragically Unburdened By Intellect | Sarcastic Office Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you completely exhausted by colleagues who consistently fail to grasp the simplest concepts? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to stop intellectually vacant professionals before they even open their mouths.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward facing panel, the brutal quote \"TRAGICALLY UNBURDENED BY INTELLECT\" is printed strictly vertically against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant design choice formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory that cannot be engaged with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eOn the reverse side, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply exhausted professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in both a standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits and a large 15 oz size for days that require maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545418453334,"sku":"2180363_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545418486102,"sku":"2180363_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a563357a7be2.jpg?v=1784034183"},{"product_id":"drawn-with-a-blunt-crayon-sarcastic-office-mug","title":"Drawn With A Blunt Crayon | Sarcastic Office Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you entirely exhausted by coworkers who mistake themselves for comedians? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to silence the local office joker before they can deliver another terrible punchline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eSet against our signature Cucumber Cream backdrop, the artwork captures a painfully familiar corporate interaction. Our aristocratic CEO, Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit and yellow bow tie, is forced to endure a tragic animal pun from a crudely sketched bear. Refusing to entertain the nonsense, Sir Cucumber Dog delivers the devastating, clinically precise verdict: \"This is exactly why you were drawn with a blunt crayon.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIt is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply fatigued professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee when you simply cannot pretend to laugh anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits, or the large 15 oz size for days requiring maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the crisp typography and vibrant colours are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54553330581846,"sku":"6895353_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54553330614614,"sku":"6895353_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-6a578aa531851.jpg?v=1784122066"},{"product_id":"thats-very-intelligent-sarcastic-office-mug","title":"That's Very Intelligent | Sarcastic Office Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you entirely exhausted by coworkers who mistake themselves for comedians? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to silence the local office joker with dripping, unrelenting sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eSet against our signature Cucumber Cream backdrop, the artwork captures a painfully familiar corporate interaction. Our aristocratic CEO, Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit and yellow bow tie, is forced to endure a tragic pizza pun from a crudely drawn slice of pepperoni. Refusing to entertain the nonsense, Sir Cucumber Dog delivers the devastating, clinically deadpan verdict: \"That's very intelligent.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIt is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply fatigued professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee when you simply cannot pretend to laugh at one more terrible joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits, or the large 15 oz size for days requiring maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the crisp typography and vibrant colours are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54553460769110,"sku":"9352128_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54553460801878,"sku":"9352128_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-6a578d3ef123c.jpg?v=1784122741"}],"url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/corporate-hostility.oembed","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}