{"title":"FUNNY DAD MUGS","description":"\u003cp id=\"p-rc_4981fe1faeae4685-45\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-71\"\u003eLooking for funny dad mugs that actually make him laugh? \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-71 citation-end-71\"\u003e\u003csup class=\"superscript\"\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You are in the right place.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp id=\"p-rc_4981fe1faeae4685-46\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet us be honest, most dad gifts are painfully predictable. Another \"Best Dad Ever\" mug? Incredibly boring. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-70\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-70\"\u003eAt Cucumber Dog, our Chief Judgement Officer, Sir Cucumber Dog, curates funny rude dad mugs and rude mugs for men that go way beyond the usual beige options and actually get a reaction\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-70 citation-end-70\"\u003e\u003csup class=\"superscript\"\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Father's Day, birthdays, or just reminding him precisely where you came from, these mugs are designed for dads with a proper sense of humour and absolutely no filter. Expect heavy British sarcasm, cheeky jokes, and designs that push things just far enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp id=\"p-rc_4981fe1faeae4685-47\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-69\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-69\"\u003eWhether you are searching for funny mugs for dad because he loves inappropriate jokes, or he simply appreciates something completely different, this collection is guaranteed to stand out from the usual gift options\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-69 citation-end-69\"\u003e\u003csup class=\"superscript\"\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColonial Translation (For Our US Visitors):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHumour:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCheeky:\u003c\/b\u003e Snarky, highly sarcastic, or slightly inappropriate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMug:\u003c\/b\u003e A coffee cup (though ours are significantly more hostile)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"stirred-with-my-balls-white-mug","title":"\"Stirred By My Balls\" Funny Explorer Mug Offensive Camping Gift \u0026 Rude Outdoor Travel Mug.","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Message from the Chairman: Adventure and Poor Hygiene\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIt has come to my attention that some of you fancy yourselves as \"outdoorsy\" types. While Sir Cucumber Dog prefers his adventures to involve nothing more strenuous than choosing between a velvet or silk cushion, he recognises that the common human enjoys pretending to be a rugged explorer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features a detailed, comic-style illustration of a man who looks like he has spent far too long in the jungle and far too little time near a bathroom. With a striking yellow speech bubble and authentic halftone dot patterns, it delivers a punchline that is as uncouth as it is effective: \"THIS DRINK WAS STIRRED BY MY... BALLS. ENJOY!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eIt is a blatant violation of health and safety standards, a social catastrophe in the making, and exactly the kind of distasteful humour that keeps life interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This (The Rationale)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e If you are tired of colleagues asking to \"borrow\" your tea or \"have a sip\" of your coffee, this vessel provides the perfect solution. One look at the adventurer’s weary eyes and the horrifying confession in the speech bubble will ensure your drink remains strictly your own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Visual Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e The contrast between the sophisticated, grayscale sketch and the vibrant pop of yellow creates a visual \"scroll-stopping\" effect. It is a piece of art that just happens to be incredibly offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Masterclass in the \"Long Pause\":\u003c\/b\u003e The use of the ellipsis in the text creates a moment of suspense before delivering a blow to the viewer's appetite. It is a brilliant piece of cheeky social commentary on the hidden \"ingredients\" of life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality for Primitive Humour:\u003c\/b\u003e While the message is questionable, the craftsmanship is not. This mug is made from high-gloss white ceramic, engineered to ensure the black ink and yellow speech bubble remain crisp through every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Meticulous\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVessel Sizes:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"38\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for your morning ritual or a generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"81\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those who need a substantial amount of caffeine to deal with their peers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy white ceramic for a professional look and a substantial feel in the hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eResilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is designed to resist fading, even if you try to scrub the mental image of the message away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e BPA-free and lead-free. We care about your health, even if the man on the mug clearly doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is This For? (The Victims)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Office Prankster:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who believes that \"lowering the tone\" is a professional responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Rugged\" Outdoors man:\u003c\/b\u003e A hilarious gift for the friend who owns a lot of khaki and hats but mostly uses them to walk the dog in the park.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Hard-to-Buy-For Brother:\u003c\/b\u003e If you need a birthday or Secret Santa gift that will cause an immediate family scandal, your search ends here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFans of the Absurd:\u003c\/b\u003e For anyone who appreciates a vintage comic aesthetic paired with a joke that is fundamentally \"too much information.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51532923208022,"sku":"9143870_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51532923240790,"sku":"9143870_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e8f1c5b312e.jpg?v=1777475359"},{"product_id":"i-talk-to-myself-white-glossy-mug","title":"\"Talk To Myself\" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Only Intelligent Conversation Left\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has spent a considerable amount of time observing human interaction, and frankly, he is unimpressed. The small talk, the weather, the unsolicited opinions: it is all quite exhausting. He has concluded that the only way to guarantee a high level of intellectual discourse is to simply speak to yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on as you enjoy a private joke with the only person who truly understands you: yourself. The bold text reads: \"SOMETIMES I TALK TO MYSELF BECAUSE I NEED EXPERT ADVICE.\" It is the perfect vessel for the office eccentric, the home-worker who has gone slightly feral, or anyone who finds the rest of society to be a bit of a letdown.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Social Shield:\u003c\/b\u003e Hold this mug up during meetings to signal that you are already engaged in a far more interesting internal dialogue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are sipping an Earl Grey or a stiff black coffee, this high-gloss white ceramic ensures your drink stays warm while your social life cools off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDishwasher and Microwave Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e The Chairman’s scowl is engineered to withstand the heat. The print is high-definition and designed to resist fading, even after hundreds of washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e An ideal choice for that one friend who is legally prohibited from being \"the life of the party.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who have a lot to say to themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a vibrant, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your health so you can continue your solitary monologues in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51539734462806,"sku":"1262161_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51539734495574,"sku":"1262161_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7b1a3cafbb.jpg?v=1776793393"},{"product_id":"two-brain-cells-mug","title":"Two Brain Cells Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Scientific Analysis of Modern Intelligence\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIt has come to the Chairman’s attention that many of you are operating on a severely limited internal processing unit. Sir Cucumber Dog has observed that for most of the population, there are exactly two brain cells remaining: and they are currently fighting for third place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is not just a mug, it is a diagnostic tool for your office environment. Whether you are drinking a robust English breakfast tea or a double espresso to jumpstart your own stalled neurons, this mug serves as a constant reminder of the intellectual desert you navigate daily. Featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature cucumber print suit and monocle, looking on with a mixture of pity and aristocratic boredom, it is the ultimate gift for the person who is tired of explaining simple concepts to their colleagues.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Social Commentary:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the most sophisticated way to tell someone they are a few sandwiches short of a picnic without actually saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic to ensure the vibrant Cucumber green and yellow accents pop against the pristine background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Just because the subject matter is flimsy doesn't mean the mug is. This is a sturdy piece of kitchenware designed to withstand the dishwasher and the microwave.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eUniversal Truth:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are in a boardroom or a break room, the message remains painfully relevant. It is a masterclass in British sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in 11oz for a standard hit of caffeine, or 15oz for those who need extra volume to cope with the surrounding mediocrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely BPA and lead-free. We care about your health, even if we have given up on your intellectual potential.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrint Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e We use elite printing partners to ensure the Chairman’s scowl remains crisp and judgemental for years to come.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51647539118422,"sku":"3837852_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51647539151190,"sku":"3837852_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Sir_Cucumber_Dog_the_pug_and_the_text_Two_Brain_Cells_Fighting_for_Third_Place_in_bold_black_and_green_lettering._cucumber_dog.jpg?v=1779801615"},{"product_id":"i-tried-being-normal-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift","title":"\"I Tried Being Normal\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eAdmit it: you gave \"normal\" a go once and it was a total nightmare. If you prefer a bit of character over conformity, this is the daily reminder that your eccentricities are your best feature. Being ordinary is, quite frankly, exhausting. Sir Cucumber Dog is here to make sure you never have to try it again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVisual Description: The Pug with Elegant Disdain\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThis high-gloss white ceramic mug features the one and only \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e. Our iconic plush toy pug mascot is looking particularly unimpressed in his tailored Cucumber green suit, yellow bow tie, and signature cucumber monocle. Framed by bold typography, the message is clear: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"280\"\u003e\"I TRIED BEING NORMAL. WORST 5 MINUTES OF MY LIFE!\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a design that delivers maximum judgemental energy to anyone in your line of sight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Need This Mug\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eWhether you are navigating a tedious office meeting or hiding from the world at home, let the pug do the talking. Simply tilt the mug to reveal your truth to the room, sip your tea, and celebrate the fact that you survived those five minutes of being ordinary. It is the perfect vessel for anyone who prefers their caffeine with a side of elegant disdain and a cold, hard truth about fitting in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Highlights \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Every Mood:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a classic brew or a generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"88\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those mornings when you need extra strength to face the \"normal\" world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIconic Mascot Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly printed to ensure the signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream palette stays vibrant and sharp.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Upkeep:\u003c\/b\u003e This dishwasher and microwave safe coffee cup ensures you have better things to do than stand at the sink performing manual labour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eToxic-Free Sipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Enjoy your brew in premium ceramic that is completely lead and BPA-free for a cleaner, safer experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSustainable Crafting:\u003c\/b\u003e Each unique mug is created specifically for you the moment you order, reducing waste and bypassing the soul-crushing boredom of mass production.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is It For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Eccentric Soul:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who has always been a bit \"different\" and is fiercely proud of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Pug Obsessive:\u003c\/b\u003e A sophisticated upgrade from the usual dog-themed gifts, featuring a plush pug with a monocle and a mission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Sarcastic Office Worker:\u003c\/b\u003e The ideal companion for the colleague who is one tedious meeting away from a total meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52789558772054,"sku":"7419443_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52789558804822,"sku":"7419443_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0181e48e43.jpg?v=1776440883"},{"product_id":"busier-than-a-cucumber-mug-funny-rude-sir-cucumber-dog-gift","title":"The Ultimate Boundary Setting Device: The \"Busier Than A Cucumber\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhen your schedule is absolute chaos, let the mug do the talking. If your calendar is a disaster and your to-do list has become sentient, this funny rude mug is your official badge of honour. The \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"196\"\u003eBusier Than a Cucumber\u003c\/b\u003e mug is designed for those juggling too much, surviving on caffeine, and communicating exclusively through high level sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis essential piece from our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"30\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection features the legendary \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"75\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e himself. Dressed in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, he delivers pure judgement with aristocratic style. Set against a signature Cucumber green label on a crisp white ceramic body, the design is printed on both sides to ensure your boundary setting is visible from every angle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug Handles the Pressure\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIt is more than a vessel for coffee: it is a strategic tool for the modern workplace. Picture it sitting on your desk while emails pile up and deadlines loom, quietly informing everyone to back off without you having to utter a single word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured on both sides, making his dapper disdain visible to everyone in the room, whether you are left or right handed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Sarcastic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for office gifts, rude Secret Santa presents, or that work bestie who is permanently \"flat out\" but still thriving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSignature Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e The Cucumber green and white colour scheme provides a sophisticated, clean look for a beautifully inappropriate joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overworked\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes Available:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz (9.6 cm height) or 15 oz (11.9 cm height).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e High quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for the Grind:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally in whatever country you are in to ensure fast delivery and a lower carbon footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree Global Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Colonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"21\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e coworker, this is the one. Whether they work in an office or a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"127\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e for excellence, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"155\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the perfect \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"185\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against a busy schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791409181014,"sku":"4890941_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791409213782,"sku":"4890941_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/busier_than_a_cucumber_in_a_woman_s_prison_funny_rude_Cucumber_Dog_mug.jpg?v=1777195749"},{"product_id":"how-to-pick-up-chicks-white-mug","title":"The Literal Guide to Romance: The \"How to Pick Up Chicks\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed that the \"single life\" often involves a lot of confusing metaphors and questionable decisions on digital dating apps. In an effort to bring some common sense to your romantic plight, he has approved this literal guide to \"picking up chicks.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design is a lighthearted joke for the person who has decided that human mating rituals are far too much effort. It is the perfect way to have a bit of fun with your relationship status while enjoying a superior brew.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of Social Literal-ism\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a dapper tutorial on social logistics, this design offers a refreshing alternative to the modern dating scene. It is a victory for common sense, curated by a pug who thinks your romantic struggles are adorable yet highly inefficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLiteral Logic:\u003c\/b\u003e Why navigate the complexities of human emotion when you can simply lift several small, yellow, feathered creatures? It is a far more rewarding use of your time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Single Life Essential:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed for the person who is currently \"uncoupled\" and prefers the company of poultry (or just a good laugh) to another awkward first date.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVisual Excellence:\u003c\/b\u003e A vibrant, high quality print that captures the sheer joy of literal chick procurement in stunning detail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for the friend who has officially \"retired\" from dating, the poultry enthusiast, or anyone who appreciates a cheeky technicality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Literal Romantic\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you are drinking a victory tea or a \"happy to be single\" coffee, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm (3.8 inches) in height and 8.2 cm (3.2 inches) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm (4.7 inches) in height and 8.5 cm (3.3 inches) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e High quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Built to survive the heat of your next social interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is created specifically for you the moment you buy it. This avoids unnecessary waste and ensures your gift is as fresh as a spring chick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. We will get your dating manual to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52908048318806,"sku":"2078944_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52908048351574,"sku":"2078944_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/How_to_pick_up_chicks_mug_funny_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777115111"},{"product_id":"dear-dad-thanks-for-not-wiping-me-on-a-sock-funny-white-mug","title":"Dear Dad Thanks For Not Wiping Me On A Sock | Funny White Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eGive your dad the recognition he truly deserves with this hilariously blunt coffee mug. Featuring a whimsical, hand-drawn design that reads \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"140\"\u003e\"Dear Dad, Thanks for not wiping me on a sock,\"\u003c\/b\u003e this is the ultimate gift for the parent who appreciates crude humour over sentimental fluff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eDecorated with a \"Best Child\" award ribbon, playful hearts, and stars, it is a cheeky way to remind him that you are, undoubtedly, his greatest achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Is the Ultimate Gift for Dad\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBrutally Honest Humour\u003c\/b\u003e This novelty mug is designed for those who want to skip the clichés and go straight for the belly laugh. It is the perfect compliment for a dad with a sharp wit and a healthy sense of perspective.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVibrant Hand-Drawn Design\u003c\/b\u003e The crisp white ceramic provides a professional background that makes the multicoloured illustrations and bold typography pop. The high-definition print ensures the \"Best Child\" medal and illustrated sock look sharp from every angle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Durability\u003c\/b\u003e Whether he is a coffee addict or a tea lover, this kitchenware is built for the daily grind. The design is engineered to stay perfect through hundreds of cycles, making it a long-lasting staple in his cupboard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Features \u0026amp; Safety\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Size Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"38\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a classic brew or the generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"78\"\u003e15oz size\u003c\/b\u003e for those mornings when he needs extra caffeine to deal with his \"favourite\" child.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaximum Safety:\u003c\/b\u003e Sip with confidence. This mug is crafted from \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"62\"\u003eBPA-free and lead-free\u003c\/b\u003e materials.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eConvenience as Standard:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe for easy cleaning and reheating.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% White Glossy Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 9.6 cm height, 8.2 cm diameter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 12 cm height, 8.5 cm diameter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare:\u003c\/b\u003e Safe for use in microwaves and dishwashers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is It For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Fun Dad:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for Father’s Day, birthdays, or just because he has a great sense of humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Hard to Buy For\" Parent:\u003c\/b\u003e A guaranteed conversation starter that stands out from the usual \"World's Best Dad\" tat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Favourite Child:\u003c\/b\u003e A playful way to secure your spot as the top sibling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53015385571670,"sku":"4579249_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53015385604438,"sku":"4579249_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Dear_Dad_thanks_for_not_wiping_me_on_a_sock_funny_mug_cucumber_dog.jpg?v=1777108322"},{"product_id":"i-did-debbie-in-dallas-vintage-rude-funny-mug","title":"I Did Debbie in Dallas | Vintage Rude Funny Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the corporate HR warning department. This premium white ceramic mug features a masterfully illustrated 1978 cheerleader and Dallas skyline graphic, finished with the unforgettable sign-off: \"It is not what you think!\" It is the ultimate morning ritual uniform for anyone who appreciates retro aesthetics, 1970s pop culture, and making colleagues read questionable sentences out loud across the office kitchen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Retro Innuendo Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This drinkware asset targets the highly lucrative rude novelty sector. We entirely reject boring, plain kitchenware in favour of classic vintage aesthetics coupled with blatant adult humour. It is the perfect vessel for morning coffee, afternoon tea, or simply enduring endless meetings with maximum sarcastic confidence. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects absolute traditional excellence and proper workplace scandal in all caffeine operations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically inappropriate. This vintage rude mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic coworker, or a partner who fancies themselves a connoisseur of retro pop culture.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Drinkware Specifications \u0026amp; Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our humorous designs on inferior materials. This mug is built to strict ceramic standards, ensuring your office cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent durable white ceramic with a comfortable C-handle for a sturdy, premium grip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCapacity \u0026amp; Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two sizes. The 11 oz. version stands 9.6 cm tall (8.2 cm diameter), while the heavy-duty 15 oz. version stands 11.9 cm tall (8.5 cm diameter) for those who require extra caffeine to handle the morning judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Completely lead-free, BPA-free, and fully safe for daily microwave and dishwasher use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When a colleague asks about your mug in the breakroom, take a slow sip, maintain unblinking eye contact, point directly to the wrap-around artwork, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Cheeky\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Sassy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53091844522326,"sku":"5213761_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53091844555094,"sku":"5213761_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/I_Did_Debbie_in_Dallas__Vintage_Rude_Funny_Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1787667763"},{"product_id":"the-im-a-wet-fart-mug","title":"The Ultimate Badge of Mediocrity: The \"Wet Fart\" Edition Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIt is a rare thing for a human to possess the self-awareness to admit they are an absolute damp squib. While Sir Cucumber Dog generally expects perfection, he finds this level of brutal honesty almost tolerable. This mug is the ultimate badge of honour for those days when you are definitely not \"crushing it.\" In fact, you are not even making a dent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design features a high end \"Cucumber cream\" label wrap, framed by detailed \"Cucumber green\" borders and an intricate ornate divider. The phrase \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003e\"I’M THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A WET FART\"\u003c\/b\u003e is rendered in bold, vintage-inspired typography, perfectly balanced by the sophisticated subtitle: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"325\"\u003e\"EDITION OF ONE.\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a juxtaposition of refined, aristocratic aesthetics and the kind of low-brow humour that makes the Chairman tilt his head in silent judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality for the Walking Anticlimax\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog refuses to put his name on anything flimsy. Even if you feel like a disappointment, your mug should not be one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e The design is printed on both sides, ensuring your lack of potential is visible to everyone in the room, whether you are a leftie or a rightie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Finish:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly crafted to ensure the Cucumber green and cream colours remain sharp, vibrant, and entirely resistant to fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStrategic Lowered Expectations:\u003c\/b\u003e Carry this into a meeting to ensure nobody asks you for anything important. It is a brilliant tool for avoiding responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLow Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. Because let us be honest, you likely do not have the energy for hand-washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Self-Aware\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to survive the morning or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are functional, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A robust, high-gloss white ceramic build that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your badge of mediocrity arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the Chairman’s designs reach you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e mediocre friend with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"63\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"80\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"102\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of our collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"142\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against high expectations and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"190\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily failure. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"233\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of self-deprecation is sure to be a hit in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"288\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e or office breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53114479509846,"sku":"9331373_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53114479542614,"sku":"9331373_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Funny_white_ceramic_mug_tilted_featuring_a_beige_label_with_the_rude_quote_I_m_the_human_equivalent_of_a_wet_fart..png?v=1776351308"},{"product_id":"cum-on-eileen-retro-pop-art-mug","title":"The Literal Anthem: The \"Come On Eileen\" Scandalous Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has noted that humans spent a significant portion of the 1980s shouting this specific lyric at each other in crowded rooms. While the Chairman finds your choice of \"anthems\" loud and fundamentally unnecessary, he does appreciate a literal interpretation that makes everyone in the immediate vicinity profoundly uncomfortable. This is not just a mug: it is a visual representation of your refusal to be polite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design is a high-definition piece of scandalous kitchenware. It captures the exact moment a misheard lyric becomes a social catastrophe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Literalism\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a meticulous 1950s-inspired pop-art wrap, this design brings a touch of vintage flair to a modern-day ruin of a classic track.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional-Grade Judgement:\u003c\/b\u003e The visual features halftone dot patterns and bold comic outlines. It captures the perfect, horrified expression of the recipient with a distinct \"EWWW!\" speech bubble against a vintage pink backdrop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Conversation Stopper:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are an 80s music fan with a warped sense of humour or simply someone who enjoys making people do a double-take at the kettle, this design delivers every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the colours stay vibrant and the typography remains crisp. It is a sturdy vessel that feels as substantial as the insults it provides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEveryday Resilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The high-definition print is engineered to resist fading, even after countless wash cycles have attempted to scrub away the scandal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Pot-Stirrer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard caffeine hit or a massive bucket of tea to fuel your next office prank, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% white glossy ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your scandalous delivery arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the guide reaches you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e 80s fan with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"83\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"105\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any kitchen collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"153\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring coffee breaks and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"204\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily brew. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"244\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of literal humor is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"285\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"308\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53145511723350,"sku":"3327894_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53145511756118,"sku":"3327894_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Cum_On_Eileen_Retro_Pop_Art_Mug.png?v=1776438996"},{"product_id":"youre-not-aging-well-funny-mug","title":"\"You're Not Aging Well\" Funny Birthday Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Definitive Audit of Your Cellular Decay\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed your attempts to celebrate another trip around the sun, and frankly, he finds the enthusiasm misplaced. While humans enjoy \"celebrating\" their milestones, the Chairman prefers to focus on the cold, hard data: and the data suggests you have seen better days.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is the perfect way to deliver a dose of reality with your morning tea. Featuring the blunt, unapologetic decree: \"YOU'RE NOT AGEING LIKE A FINE WINE. YOU'RE AGEING LIKE SOUR MILK. SOUR AND NOT NICE TO LOOK AT.\" It serves as a sophisticated insult for friends, family, or colleagues who are starting to look a bit \"vintage.\" Sir Cucumber Dog appears in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on through his monocle with a mixture of pity and aristocratic boredom at your dwindling youth.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Birthday Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for the person who hates birthdays, or for the friend you love to irritate. It is the gift that keeps on taking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-Society Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Most \"getting older\" mugs are tacky. This one is posh, using the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"87\"\u003eCucumber green\u003c\/b\u003e and yellow palette to make the insult look like a formal announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the Chairman’s scowl and your grim prognosis remain sharp through every use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last (Unlike You):\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is high-definition and designed to resist fading: unlike your hairline or your general stamina.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Expiring\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need extra caffeine to cope with your advancing years or a massive bucket of tea to drown your sorrows, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a vibrant, long lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely lead and BPA free. We care about your physical health, even if the Chairman has already written you off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your reminder of mortality arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures Sir Cucumber Dog’s judgement reaches you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e aging friend with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"88\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"110\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any birthday celebration. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"160\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against sentimentality and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"205\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your dwindling youth. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"250\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of cellular decay is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"292\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"315\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53198220919126,"sku":"5676681_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53198220951894,"sku":"5676681_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/You_re_not_ageing_like_a_fine_funny_birthday_cucumber_dog_mug.jpg?v=1777037775"},{"product_id":"surviving-funny-work-mug","title":"\"Surviving Is An Achievement\" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eYou desperately need this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efunny work mug\u003c\/b\u003e to survive the daily grind. Sir Cucumber Dog has audited your societal contributions. Our esteemed plush toy pug Chairman wore his bespoke suit. The suit features a green cucumber-print and yellow bow tie. Sitting upon his bare minimum cushions, his findings are underwhelming. Other cups might offer basic motivation for the office. The Chairman prefers a strictly realistic approach. He adjusts his cucumber monocle and waves his star wand. He concludes that simply remaining upright is your primary accomplishment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is a tribute to your low bar. It features the biting decree, \"SURVIVING IS AN ACHIEVEMENT I GUESS.\" It also adds, \"IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE DONE ANYTHING ELSE.\" Sir Cucumber Dog silently judges your total lack of ambition. A depressing sloth in a party hat celebrates your mediocrity. It is the perfect \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"327\"\u003efunny work mug\u003c\/b\u003e for the mid-afternoon slump.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Funny Work Mug\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite British Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Finally, a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"34\"\u003erude mug\u003c\/b\u003e that speaks your truth. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"86\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e Rendered in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. It features elegant botanical flourishes for a posh look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% high-gloss white ceramic. It boasts a high-definition, long-lasting print. It is the best vessel for holding your tea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Outlast Motivation:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s judgemental scowl resists fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGenerous Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz. You will need extra volume to cope with existing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free for your peace of mind. We care deeply about your physical health. We have completely given up on your career prospects.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eGlobal Logistics and Local Care\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog personally oversees the distribution network. Your new \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"72\"\u003erude mug\u003c\/b\u003e arrives with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally. This drastically reduces the carbon footprint. Your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"97\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e arrives without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree Global Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e We proudly offer Free UK and US Shipping. The delivery cost is beneath the Chairman's dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every item is created specifically for you. We avoid unnecessary waste in a crowded world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs this funny work mug dishwasher safe?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes. This premium ceramic vessel is fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The high-definition print resists fading completely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this item designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e It makes a brilliant gift for chronically uninspired friends. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"112\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e who simply exists.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhere does my order ship from?\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally to your specific country. This guarantees swift delivery and a drastically reduced carbon footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Surviving Funny Work Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/surviving-work-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Acknowledge the daily corporate grind with the Surviving Funny Work Mug. A premium, high quality ceramic coffee cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, perfect for exhausted employees.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-SURVIVING-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/surviving-funny-work-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53199056535894,"sku":"9179642_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53199056568662,"sku":"9179642_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Cucumber_Dog_Surviving_is_an_Achievement_funny_mug.jpg?v=1777037691"},{"product_id":"still-utterly-useless-birthday-mug-sir-cucumber-dog","title":"\"Still Utterly Useless\" Birthday Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAn Annual Audit of Your Personal Failure\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has reviewed your performance over the last 365 days, and the results are predictably dismal. While others might offer platitudes about \"getting better with age,\" the Chairman prefers to focus on the reality of your situation: you have successfully aged without becoming any more useful to the world at large.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is the most sophisticated way to acknowledge a friend or family member's total lack of progress. Featuring the biting decree: \"ANOTHER YEAR... STILL UTTERLY USELESS.\", it is the perfect gift for birthdays, work anniversaries, or any milestone where honesty is preferred over politeness. Sir Cucumber Dog looks on from his Cucumber cream background, his monocle firmly in place as he judges your stagnant lifestyle.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite British Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Most \"getting older\" mugs are tacky. This one is posh, using our signature Cucumber green and vibrant yellow to make the insult look like an official announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Birthday Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for the person who hates the fuss of birthdays, or for the sibling you love to remind of their place in the family hierarchy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is rendered in his meticulously tailored cucumber-print suit, ensuring that even a devastating insult looks remarkably premium.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Outlast Your Youth:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s judgmental scowl and your grim prognosis are engineered to resist fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Material:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% High-Gloss Ceramic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who need more volume to cope with their mediocrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely lead and BPA-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe for long-term use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBritish Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed with a focus on British English and the biting sense of humour found only in the best UK households.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e person with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"82\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"104\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any birthday celebration. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"154\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring, sentimental gifts and provides much-needed \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e for the office. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"250\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of personal failure is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"294\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"317\"\u003eneighborhood.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"317\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Still Utterly Useless Birthday Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/still-utterly-useless-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Celebrate another year of zero progress. The Still Utterly Useless birthday mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog is a premium, funny ceramic cup perfect for roasting friends and coworkers who refuse to improve.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-STILLUSELESS-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/still-utterly-useless-birthday-mug-sir-cucumber-dog\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53199796175190,"sku":"4353375_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53199796207958,"sku":"4353375_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Another_year_still_utterly_useless_funny_birthday_Cucumber_Dog_Mug.jpg?v=1777037513"},{"product_id":"i-fart-in-lifts-funny-rude-mug","title":"The I Fart In Lifts Ceramic Mug: A Masterclass in Social Distancing","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThere are few things as quintessentially British as standing in a confined metal box with strangers and maintaining absolute silence. Sir Cucumber Dog believes that if you are going to break that silence, you should do it with a level of biological warfare that ensures you never have to share a lift again. This mug is for the individual who treats a three floor journey as a prime opportunity for atmospheric disruption.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of Social Sabotage\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eFeaturing a candid illustration of a gentleman in a state of high pressure panic, this design captures the exact moment a quiet commute becomes a memorable event. Set against a deep forest green background, the bold cream text leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Warning Label:\u003c\/b\u003e It is the perfect office accessory for the person who simply cannot be trusted in small spaces.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Branding:\u003c\/b\u003e While the subject matter is, quite literally, gas, the quality is undeniably premium. Every mug features the underlying judgement of the Cucumber Dog empire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTactical Honesty:\u003c\/b\u003e Stop hiding your biological reality. Wear your flaws on your drink ware and watch as your colleagues suddenly decide to take the stairs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously decided that the air in the delivery van should remain fresh for as long as possible. We will get this to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Frequent Flyer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhether you need a small caffeine hit to fuel your next floor jump or a massive bucket of tea for the long ride to the penthouse, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to survive the heat, unlike the passengers in your lift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eZero Waste Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand to reduce overproduction. It is a thoughtful approach to a very thoughtless design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e prankster with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"74\"\u003eelevator\u003c\/b\u003e joke is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"95\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any conversation. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"137\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against awkward silences and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily commute. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"227\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of flatulence is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"265\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any office or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"298\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"I Fart In Lifts Funny Rude Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/i-fart-in-lifts-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Clear the room with the I Fart In Lifts funny rude mug. 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This mug is not a toy; it is a declaration of linguistic authority. Designed for those who believe that \"simplified\" is just a polite word for \"lazy,\" this piece serves as a daily reminder to maintain standards in a world that has clearly let itself go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eSet against a bold Union Jack backdrop, the Chairman sits in his velvet armchair, flanked by the flags of both the mainland and the former colonies. His expression is one of profound disappointment as he delivers a message that every American needs to hear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of British Superiority\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a regal scroll design entwined with cucumber vines, this mug brings a touch of aristocratic authority to your kitchen. We have specifically included the \"simplified\" versions to ensure our friends across the pond understand exactly what they are missing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vowel Restoration Project:\u003c\/b\u003e Boldly lists the correct spellings of \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"69\"\u003eColour\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003eHonour\u003c\/b\u003e, and \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"89\"\u003eBehaviour\u003c\/b\u003e to remind everyone that three little letters make a world of difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe American Translation:\u003c\/b\u003e For those used to seeing words \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003ewithout the u\u003c\/b\u003e, like \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"84\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"91\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"104\"\u003eflavor\u003c\/b\u003e, consider this your official linguistic upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Imperial Stare:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a constant reminder of the high standards you are expected to uphold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect \"Expat\" Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Brits living in the USA who are tired of their spellcheck constantly undermining them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Sophisticated Scholar\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Built to survive the heat of a Transatlantic argument.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is created specifically for you the moment you buy it. This avoids unnecessary waste and ensures we aren't overproducing items for a world that can't even spell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Generosity:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously decided that the delivery cost is beneath him. We offer \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"107\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on every order, ensuring this piece of education reaches your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e American friend, look no further. Even if you prefer the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"121\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e of a simplified dictionary, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"163\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e ceramic cup is the best \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"195\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring office gifts. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"251\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e for linguistic restoration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Linguistic Ultimatum: The 'U' Matters Ceramic Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/the-linguistic-ultimatum-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Defend proper British spelling with The Linguistic Ultimatum mug. A funny, high quality ceramic cup reminding everyone that the letter 'U' in words like 'colour' actually matters.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-LINGUISTIC-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/the-linguistic-ultimatum-the-u-matters-ceramic-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53270927114582,"sku":"3762695_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53270927147350,"sku":"3762695_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_white_ceramic_mug_with_a_Union_Jack_background._Sir_Cucumber_Dog_sits_in_an_armchair_between_a_UK_and_US_flag._Text_on_a_scroll_reads_Colour_Honour_Behaviour._It_is_NOT_THAT_HARD_AM.jpg?v=1777111777"},{"product_id":"nocturnal-sunbathing-union-funny-mug","title":"The Nocturnal Sunbathing Union Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has observed the incredibly fragile constitution of certain individuals when exposed to even a mild ray of sunshine. For the pale, the ginger, and the chronically indoor oriented, the sun is not a source of joy; it is a deadly laser.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the official mug of the Nocturnal Sunbathing Union. This premium ceramic vessel is the ultimate desk accessory for anyone who views a sunny day as a personal threat and firmly believes that Factor 100 sun cream is merely a starting point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Absolute Avoidance\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not simply sell drink ware. We provide highly relatable coping mechanisms designed to filter out annoyingly enthusiastic sun worshippers and attract those who appreciate the safety of the shadows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a brilliantly detailed illustration of a ginger man lounging on a deckchair under a crescent moon, proudly clutching his Factor 100 sun cream. The motto \"The Shade is Real\" frames the bottom, perfectly encapsulating your avoidance strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"47\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for a quick dose of morning caffeine, or a substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"112\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for those who require extra hydration after actively dodging the daylight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the crushing social pressure to \"go outside and enjoy the weather.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long night of nocturnal sunbathing, manually washing a cup is an insult to your energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order, ensuring your new vessel arrives freshly made and completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat makes these funny ginger mugs the best gift for the sun-averse?\u003c\/b\u003e Our Nocturnal Sunbathing Union design is the ultimate badge of honor for those who fear the daylight. It features a detailed illustration of a ginger man enjoying the moonlit shade. It is the perfect way to signal your membership in the league of the chronically indoor-oriented.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the \"The Shade is Real\" artwork durable?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it is. We use a high quality bespoke printing process to ensure the design remains crisp and vibrant. Whether you are drinking scalding hot tea or ice-cold water while hiding from the sun, the artwork will not peel or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCan I put this premium ceramic vessel in the dishwasher?\u003c\/b\u003e Absolutely. After a long night of nocturnal sunbathing, we know you lack the energy for manual labor. This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. It is designed to withstand high temperatures and social isolation with ease.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat sizes are available for this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e We offer two substantial options. Choose the 11 oz size for a quick caffeine hit. Or, select the 15 oz vessel if you require extra hydration to recover from the crushing social pressure of \"going outside.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your pale complexion, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"79\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"118\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"149\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly sunny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"187\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The rich \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"206\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the night sky graphic shows you take your shade seriously. Make sure your sunblock is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"309\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"356\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"407\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Nocturnal Sunbathing Union Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/nocturnal-sunbathing-union-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"The exact ceramic vessel required to help the indoorsy and the easily sunburnt find peace. A funny, high quality mug perfect for night owls and introverts.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-NOCTURNAL-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/nocturnal-sunbathing-union-funny-mug?variant=53490540249430\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53490540249430,"sku":"9406992_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53490540282198,"sku":"9406992_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_circular_illustration_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_a_ginger_man_in_sunglasses_lounging_on_a_deckchair_at_night._He_is_holding_Factor_100_sun_cream_under_a_crescent_moon._Text_reads_No.jpg?v=1778084227"},{"product_id":"if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-funny-mug","title":"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug | 11oz \u0026 15oz","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman respects the feline community for one specific reason: their absolute, unwavering dedication to apathy. Humans foolishly believe their pets care about their annual milestones. This premium ceramic vessel shatters that delusion with spectacular accuracy, providing the perfect sarcastic gift for the realist in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards... They Wouldn't\" mug. It serves as the ultimate truth bomb for any cat enthusiast and a stark reminder of your actual place in the household hierarchy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Feline Apathy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drink ware. We provide highly relatable reality checks disguised as premium office accessories, designed specifically to filter out the overly sentimental.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features The Chairman sitting in quiet solidarity alongside a deeply unbothered ginger feline, complete with a completely unsent paw print greeting card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for a quick morning brew, or the substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"99\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e vessel for drowning your sorrows when your cat ignores you all day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the icy chill of a feline's rejection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Because manually washing a cup requires far too much effort, much like writing a birthday card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order, ensuring your new vessel arrives freshly made and completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your cat's absolute lack of interest in your life, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"108\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your kitchen. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"150\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"181\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly affectionate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"226\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e towards their pets. The rich cream \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"270\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the design shows you take your realism seriously. Make sure your coffee is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"362\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"409\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"460\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Embrace the cold truth with the If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards mug. A funny, high quality ceramic mug perfect for cat lovers and birthday cynics alike.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-CATCARD-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-funny-mug?variant=53502516658518\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53502516658518,"sku":"2277427_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53502516691286,"sku":"2277427_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_sitting_next_to_a_ginger_cat_and_a_small_table._Text_reads_If_Cats_could_Send_Birthday_Cards..._THEY_WOULDN_T..jpg?v=1778147481"},{"product_id":"morning-pug-accino-funny-coffee-mug","title":"Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIf you are looking for funny pug mugs, you have found the absolute best option right here. Sir Cucumber Dog is fundamentally opposed to mornings. He requires a massive dose of caffeine to function. This stops him from hating the sheer existence of the general public. Your daily routine might involve aggressive sighing. You might avoid eye contact until your coffee is finished. If so, this premium ceramic vessel is your new official uniform. It makes the absolute perfect pug gift for miserable people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eWhy These Funny Pug Mugs Are Essential\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eWe do not simply sell standard drinkware. We provide highly relatable coping mechanisms for your desk. These mugs act as a physical barrier against overly cheerful morning people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003eDefeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features Sir Cucumber Dog physically bathing in a frothy cappuccino. He is proudly wearing his signature cucumber monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003eDual Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for your initial espresso. Or pick the 15 oz vessel for terrible mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003ePremium Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands scalding hot coffee and crushing early morning alarms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003eEffortless Care:\u003c\/b\u003e This vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand whilst half asleep is highly insulting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every piece is proudly printed to order. Your mug arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eWhat sizes are available for these funny pug mugs?\u003c\/b\u003e The Morning Pug-accino design comes in two sizes. Choose a standard 11 oz size for a quick fix. Or select the large 15 oz size for difficult mornings. Both sizes feature Sir Cucumber Dog prominently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIs this coffee cup safe for the dishwasher?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. Washing cups by hand while half awake is a terrible idea. This premium ceramic vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. It ensures completely effortless cleaning every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eHow is the artwork applied to the ceramic?\u003c\/b\u003e We use a high quality printing process via Printful. This ensures the detailed illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog will not peel or fade. His signature cucumber monocle will remain perfectly intact through many washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWhat colours are featured in the artwork?\u003c\/b\u003e The design proudly features our signature brand colours. You will see vibrant cucumber green and smooth cucumber cream. These tones contrast beautifully with the rich brown of the frothy cappuccino.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"15\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your morning coffee ritual, this mug must be the \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"70\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a brilliant \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"109\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against cheerful \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"134\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e from anyone in your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"163\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. The rich brown \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"192\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the text is perfectly \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"223\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e to match your morning brew. Whether you are commuting to the local movie \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"304\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e or just working from home, this will undoubtedly be your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"369\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new cup!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/morning-pug-accino-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Start your day with the Morning Pug-accino mug. A funny, premium ceramic coffee cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog. Perfect for avoiding morning conversations.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-PUGACCINO-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/morning-pug-accino-funny-coffee-mug?variant=53504186745174\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53504186745174,"sku":"2865081_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53504186777942,"sku":"2865081_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_a_pug_in_a_green_suit_and_monocle_sitting_inside_a_giant_cappuccino_cup._Text_reads_MORNING_PUG-ACCINO..jpg?v=1778159097"},{"product_id":"kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-funny-mug","title":"Kindly Pardon My Arrogance Funny Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIf you are searching for the best \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"34\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e, The Chairman is here to help. Sir Cucumber Dog firmly believes that honesty is the best policy. However, dealing with insufferable members of the general public requires tact. A touch of polite preamble makes the final verdict much sweeter. If a colleague requires a formal reality check, this ceramic vessel is perfect. It serves as the ultimate gavel of justice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the Kindly Pardon My Arrogance mug. It is the absolute pinnacle of British insults. It is perfectly disguised as a sophisticated desktop accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Formal Judgement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drinkware. We provide highly formal declarations of disdain. These \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"119\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e are for people who desperately need a reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Offensive Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunning illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog holding court. He wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie. He sits within an ornate wooden crest with decorative cucumbers. A gold seal delivers the final glorious verdict: TWAT!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for a swift insult over morning tea. Or select the substantial 15 oz vessel for a larger reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands hot coffee and the shocked gasps of your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand after a flawless insult is entirely beneath your dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order using a high quality bespoke process. Your new vessel arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this offensive pug mug designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. The word \"TWAT\" is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat colours are used in this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. Sir Cucumber Dog wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"FAQPage\",\n  \"mainEntity\": [\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Who is this offensive pug mug designed for?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yes, it absolutely is. The word 'TWAT' is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"What colours are used in this specific design?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. Sir Cucumber Dog wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie.\"\n      }\n    }\n  ]\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Kindly Pardon My Arrogance Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Deliver the ultimate insult with the Kindly Pardon My Arrogance mug. A premium, funny ceramic cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog delivering a harsh verdict.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-ARROGANCE-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-funny-mug?variant=53504457441622\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53504457441622,"sku":"6104341_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53504457474390,"sku":"6104341_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_inside_an_ornate_wooden_crest._Below_him_is_a_judge_s_gavel_and_a_gold_seal._Text_reads_KINDLY_PARDON_MY_ARROGANCE_BUT..._Y.jpg?v=1778159583"},{"product_id":"indoor-hang-gliding-club-funny-mug","title":"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club Funny Aviator Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman recognises that outdoor activities are fraught with unnecessary risks, unpredictable weather, and worst of all, other people. Why brave the elements and risk physical exertion when you can experience the absolute pinnacle of extreme sports from the safety of your own lounge?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting \"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club\" mug. It is a premium ceramic vessel designed for the chronic introvert, the dedicated homebody, and anyone whose idea of a thrilling adventure involves turning the ceiling fan up to the highest setting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAviation for the Indoorsy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject the modern obsession with fresh air and adrenaline. This vessel combines a beautiful vintage aesthetic with a celebration of absolute laziness, perfectly crafted to establish your commitment to staying inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eShowcase your dedication to indoor extreme sports\u003c\/b\u003e with a beautifully detailed vintage emblem featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his finest tweed aviator gear and signature yellow bow tie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMarvel at the magnificent engineering\u003c\/b\u003e of a hang glider safely tethered to a standard ceiling fan, complete with a potted plant and windsock for accurate indoor weather readings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSustain your energy levels through rigorous lounging sessions\u003c\/b\u003e with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eKeep your membership badge in pristine condition\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a highly durable white ceramic build that is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy a permanently vibrant illustration\u003c\/b\u003e that will never scratch or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke sublimation process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Extreme Laziness\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you use this funny novelty mug to its full potential? Our expert survival advice is simple. When an overly energetic friend suggests a weekend hiking trip, a marathon, or any activity that requires leaving the house, simply raise this mug to your lips. Maintain eye contact while taking a slow sip. It silently communicates that your schedule is already entirely booked with ceiling fan aviation and avoiding the general public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eIt is the definitive gift for lazy coworkers, exhausted introverts, or any friend who considers walking to the fridge a sufficient daily workout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Vintage Aviation, Introvert Humour, Lazy Extreme Sports, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Avoiding outdoor activities, funny introvert gifts, and surviving the weekend indoors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your absolute refusal to go outside, this ceramic mug needs to be at the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"94\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your coffee table. It serves as an exceptional \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"151\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against energetic friends in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"193\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit exhausting \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"229\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e like hiking or jogging. The rich \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"271\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the vintage badge is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"309\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e for all to see. It will quickly become your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"361\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e vessel to hold your morning drip coffee before a highly strenuous trip to the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"460\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club Funny Aviator Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/indoor-hang-gliding-club-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Avoid the outdoors with The Indoor Hang Gliding Club mug. This funny, premium ceramic coffee cup features Sir Cucumber Dog and is the perfect gift for introverts.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-GLIDING-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/indoor-hang-gliding-club-funny-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53591595843926,"sku":"9733846_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53591595876694,"sku":"9733846_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/indoor_hang_gliding_club_cucumber_dog_mug.webp?v=1779198090"},{"product_id":"another-year-of-uselessness-interactive-birthday-mug-11oz-15oz","title":"Another Year of Uselessness Interactive Birthday Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman considers traditional birthday cards to be a spectacular waste of paper, money, and time. They are briefly acknowledged, read with feigned enthusiasm, and promptly binned. This premium interactive ceramic vessel replaces that fleeting tradition with a permanent daily reminder of your absolute disdain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Another Year of Uselessness\" interactive mug. It is not just a vessel for hot beverages; it is a permanent replacement for the greeting card, complete with a blank template on the back for your own bespoke insults.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThe Superior Alternative to Cardboard\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not just sell drinkware. We provide a sustainable, long term strategy for insulting your peers. Here is how this interactive piece of Cucumber cream and green merchandise elevates your gifting strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eHumiliate them daily for years to come\u003c\/b\u003e with our premium, thick walled ceramic construction. It is infinitely more durable than a flimsy paper greeting card and built to outlast their fleeting willpower.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eDeliver a bespoke, highly personal insult\u003c\/b\u003e using the \"Fill It In Yourself\" back panel. You can easily write in the recipient's name, your name, and a harsh message of criticism without ever stepping foot in a card shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eEnjoy effortless maintenance\u003c\/b\u003e because the base mug print is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe, ensuring our core design will never peel or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eProject an aura of elite judgement\u003c\/b\u003e courtesy of the front graphic, featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature green cucumber print suit and yellow bow tie, delivering a sharp \"Happy F*cking Birthday\" verdict.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Sarcastic Gifting\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you customise your interactive birthday mug permanently? If you simply want a temporary joke, any standard permanent marker will do. However, to ensure your handwritten message of criticism survives the dishwasher and haunts them forever, we highly recommend using a dedicated ceramic marker. Write your insults on the designated lines, let it dry, and bake the mug in the oven according to the pen manufacturer's instructions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eThis is the definitive answer for anyone searching for a sarcastic birthday gift for a lazy coworker, a total nepotism baby, or an ex partner who still talks to you. It eliminates the need for sentimental drivel and allows you to address their trash vibe directly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53695335956822,"sku":"8584671_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53695335989590,"sku":"8584671_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/another-year-of-uselessness-interactive-birthday-mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197915"},{"product_id":"expected-you-to-die-doing-something-stupid-birthday-mug","title":"Expected You To Die Doing Something Stupid Funny Birthday Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman is genuinely astounded that certain members of your social circle have survived another trip around the sun. Given their complete lack of basic survival instincts and terrible decision making skills, reaching this age is less of a milestone and more of a statistical anomaly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Expected You To Die Doing Something Stupid\" birthday mug. It is the perfect ceramic tribute to that one friend whose continued existence is a genuine medical mystery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eCelebrate Sheer Dumb Luck\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe refuse to offer basic, sentimental birthday greetings when absolute honesty is far more entertaining. This premium vessel provides a masterclass in aggressive realism, perfectly crafted for the perpetually reckless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eAcknowledge their miraculous survival skills\u003c\/b\u003e and project an aura of elite judgment with a hilarious graphic of The Chairman raising a glass of champagne in his signature green cucumber print suit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eDeliver a savage but accurate insult\u003c\/b\u003e over morning coffee, powered by your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eEnsure the joke outlasts their next reckless decision\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a robust, fully microwave and dishwasher safe ceramic build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eToast to their continued existence\u003c\/b\u003e with high definition bespoke printing that keeps the vibrant red lettering and Cucumber green styling from ever peeling or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Insulting the Accident Prone\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIf you are wondering how to properly celebrate a friend who treats health and safety guidelines as mere suggestions, this is your definitive solution. This vessel is designed specifically for the clumsy coworker, the reckless sibling, or the mate whose weekend activities regularly involve emergency room visits. Hand them this mug, raise your own glass, and applaud their baffling ability to cheat death for another year. It is a highly practical gift that gets straight to the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003eDesign Style:\u003c\/b\u003e Sarcastic birthday greeting, dark humour, featuring Sir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Roasting accident prone friends, siblings, and reckless coworkers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003ci data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"15\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your friend's reckless \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"44\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"90\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of their birthday party. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"140\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring gifts in your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"177\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. The bright \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"202\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the red text shows you take their lack of safety seriously. Make sure their coffee is clearly \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"305\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before they stumble out of the local movie \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"356\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just tell them to stay inside with their \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"421\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug so they do not injure themselves!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53773886325078,"sku":"8841287_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53773886357846,"sku":"8841287_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/HAPPY_BIRTHDAY_from_someone_who_fully_expected_you_to_DIE_doing_something_STUPID_by_now._Mug_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197807"},{"product_id":"keep-calm-what-the-f-ck-do-you-want-funny-office-mug","title":"The \"What Do You Want?\" Sir Cucumber Dog Office Mug (Keep Calm Parody)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Chairman has reached the absolute limit of his patience with modern corporate etiquette. This aggressively blunt ceramic office mug features our intentionally flat, amateur visual aesthetic to repel annoying colleagues before they even start speaking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Camouflage at Its Finest (Why You Need This):\u003c\/b\u003e We reject standard, overly polite office desk decor. This vessel combines aggressive workplace realism with our signature deadpan humour to establish strict personal boundaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eInstant Repellent:\u003c\/b\u003e Deter unwanted colleagues instantly with an unyielding graphic of Sir Cucumber Dog delivering a judgement filled glare in his signature cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and cucumber monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSignature Style:\u003c\/b\u003e Maintain your exquisite corporate aesthetic against a deep Cucumber green background, bordered by intricate gold Victorian scrolls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eManaged Expectations:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly boasts a cheap looking, flat design to ensure everyone in the office knows you absolutely do not take this job seriously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eZero Effort Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% dishwasher safe, giving you far more time to actively ignore passive aggressive emails and calendar invitations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eExpert Insight: Deflecting Desk Invaders\u003c\/b\u003e How do you use this funny office mug for maximum defensive coverage? Our expert corporate survival advice is simple. Whenever a colleague wanders over to your desk with a \"quick question,\" do not look up from your screen. Simply lift this vessel to eye level, ensuring the bold lettering is directed squarely at their face. Hold the position until they stop speaking and back away slowly. This is the definitive answer for anyone searching for the best sarcastic office gift for an introverted colleague, a stressed manager, or a business owner who has entirely run out of patience.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53904985063766,"sku":"8759837_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53904985096534,"sku":"8759837_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Keep_Calm_What_The_Fck_Do_You_Want_Funny_Office_Mug.webp?v=1786536937"},{"product_id":"ding-dong-the-bitch-is-gone-rude-pug-mug","title":"Ding Dong The Bitch Is Gone | Funny Rude Pug Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the liberation and celebration department. This premium white ceramic mug features our Chief Judgement Officer, Sir Cucumber Dog, giving a royal thumbs up alongside the bold declaration: \"DING DONG... THE BITCH IS GONE!\" It is the ultimate morning ritual uniform for anyone who appreciates triumphant humour, retro aesthetics, and making colleagues read questionable sentiments out loud across the office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Ultimate Victory Lap\u003c\/b\u003e This drinkware asset targets the highly lucrative celebratory novelty sector. We entirely reject boring, plain kitchenware in favour of classic vintage aesthetics, gold accents, and blunt, sarcastic declarations suitable for any significant departure. It is the perfect vessel for coffee, tea, or a celebratory beverage of your choosing. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects absolute precision and proper celebration of successful endings in all caffeine operations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically inappropriate. This rude celebration mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a newly single best friend, a colleague celebrating a job transition, or anyone marking the end of a particularly tiresome era.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Drinkware Specifications \u0026amp; Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our humorous designs on inferior materials. This mug is built to strict ceramic standards, ensuring your office cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent durable white ceramic with a comfortable C-handle for a sturdy, premium grip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCapacity \u0026amp; Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two sizes. The 11 oz. version stands 9.6 cm tall (8.2 cm diameter), while the heavy-duty 15 oz. version stands 11.9 cm tall (8.5 cm diameter) for those who require extra caffeine to handle the celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Completely lead-free, BPA-free, and fully safe for daily microwave and dishwasher use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When a colleague asks about your mug in the breakroom, take a slow sip, maintain unblinking eye contact, point directly to Sir Cucumber Dog, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Cheeky\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Sassy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53905241047382,"sku":"3021363_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53905241080150,"sku":"3021363_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Ding_Dong_The_Bitch_Is_Gone_Funny_Farewell_Mug.png?v=1787671068"},{"product_id":"sir-cucumber-dog-sweeping-the-floor-with-your-nuts-mug","title":"Sir Cucumber Dog \"Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eGive the perfect rude birthday gag gift with the Sir Cucumber Dog \"Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts\" mug. Featuring our signature plush pug in his bespoke cucumber green suit, yellow bow tie, and cucumber monocle, this vintage style ceramic mug delivers cheeky British humour straight to their morning coffee. Available in both standard 11 oz and large 15 oz sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Design \u0026amp; Story\u003c\/b\u003e Gravity spares no man. Celebrate another year on the clock with a design that mixes high class sophistication with brilliant low brow humour. Set against a distressed, vintage parchment background in our signature Cucumber cream, complete with anatomical walnut illustrations, Sir Cucumber Dog stares in judgement while delivering the ultimate birthday reality check: \"CONGRATULATIONS! You're officially one year closer to sweeping the floor with your nuts.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Technical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e We use premium ceramic bases fulfilled through Printful to ensure your cheeky gift survives daily use and multiple washes without fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% durable white ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSizes Available:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard brew and 15 oz large\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Microwave and dishwasher safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrint Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e High colour wrap around sublimation printing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFinish:\u003c\/b\u003e Glossy, scratch resistant surface\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e For our friends across the pond, here is your translation guide:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCheeky humour:\u003c\/b\u003e Sassy humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSweeping the floor:\u003c\/b\u003e Dragging on the ground\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eNuts:\u003c\/b\u003e Balls or testicles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColour:\u003c\/b\u003e Color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54022221726038,"sku":"8538027_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54022221758806,"sku":"8538027_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/congratulations_sweeping_your_nuts.jpg?v=1780041590"},{"product_id":"absolute-masterclass-in-incompetence-funny-work-mug","title":"Absolute Masterclass In Incompetence | Funny Work Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 20 oz mug dimensions: 4.3″ (10.9 cm) in height, 3.7″ (9.3 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545199366486,"sku":"1850850_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545199399254,"sku":"1850850_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a562ed376737.jpg?v=1784033055"},{"product_id":"a-breathtaking-waste-of-oxygen-funny-introvert-mug","title":"A Breathtaking Waste Of Oxygen | Funny Introvert Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 20 oz mug dimensions: 4.3″ (10.9 cm) in height, 3.7″ (9.3 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545234166102,"sku":"9699971_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545234198870,"sku":"9699971_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a562fd762bfb.jpg?v=1784033282"},{"product_id":"proof-evolution-can-go-backwards-funny-colleague-mug","title":"Proof Evolution Can Go Backwards | Funny Colleague Mug","description":"Are you entirely exhausted by colleagues who struggle with basic logic? We have formally documented your despair. This premium ceramic mug serves as a highly functional biological warning sign for your office desk, designed to keep the intellectually challenged at a safe and manageable distance.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward facing panel, the brutal quote \"PROOF EVOLUTION CAN GO BACKWARDS\" is printed vertically against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant touch formally categorises your disdain as restricted corporate inventory.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOn the reverse side, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive aggressive gift for the exhausted professional or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n5. The Technical Specifications\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThese bullet points satisfy Google's EEAT guidelines by confirming the physical quality of the product, the available variations, and the exact Printful manufacturing method.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPremium Ceramic Construction: Available in both a standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits and a large 15 oz size for days that require maximum endurance against stupidity.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFlawless Sublimation Print: Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDaily Durability: 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Brand Guarantee: Look for the official @thecucumberdog tag printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nA premium ceramic vessel scientifically dedicated to that one colleague who actively lowers the room's collective IQ just by breathing.\u003cbr\u003e\n\"A beautifully sterile way to inform a colleague that their cognitive functions are actively regressing. A triumph of biological workplace hostility.\" 5","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545293869398,"sku":"7836870_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545293902166,"sku":"7836870_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5630df00f4d.jpg?v=1784033563"},{"product_id":"spectacularly-exhausting-individual-funny-mug","title":"A Spectacularly Exhausting Individual | Funny Work Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you completely drained by colleagues who turn a simple morning greeting into a massive intellectual ordeal? We have engineered the perfect visual deterrent. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional boundary for your office desk, designed specifically to stop incredibly taxing professionals before they even open their mouths.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward facing panel, the brutal quote \"A SPECTACULARLY EXHAUSTING INDIVIDUAL\" is printed strictly vertically against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant design choice formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory that cannot be engaged with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eOn the reverse side, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive aggressive gift for a deeply fatigued professional, or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits, or the large 15 oz size for days requiring maximum endurance against office stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed to order using state of the art dye sublimation. The high heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The absolute savagery will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e handle printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545401348438,"sku":"7617216_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545401381206,"sku":"7617216_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5632c932a3c.jpg?v=1784034062"},{"product_id":"products-cucumber-dojo-sarcastic-anti-fitness-mug","title":"The Cucumber Dojo | Funny Sarcastic Anti Fitness Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the liquid exhaustion division. This premium white ceramic vessel formally introduces The Cucumber Dojo, a completely fabricated athletic institution based in Beverly Hills, CA. Featuring Sir Cucumber Dog violently shattering a board labelled \"YOUR MOTIVATION,\" this mug is a masterclass in anti-fitness propaganda. Complete with the proud admission of \"PULLING GROINS SINCE 2024,\" it is the ultimate morning chalice for anyone who actively avoids physical exertion and prefers to simply kick back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Demotivation Hydration Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This ceramic asset targets the highly lucrative faux-Americana and sarcastic gym sectors. We entirely reject the concept of the morning grind in favour of immediate physical surrender. It is the perfect vessel for ignoring your personal trainer, abandoning your fitness resolutions over breakfast, or simply claiming a martial arts background without any of the actual suffering. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, whose only real workout involves lifting this exact mug to his face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically lazy. This sarcastic mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cynical workout partner, a dad who frequently injures himself doing basic household tasks, or a deeply unmotivated best friend who requires heavy caffeine just to complain about moving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our visual sabotage on inferior drinkware. This vessel is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your apathy is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% premium white ceramic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eVolumetric Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Engineered to hold exactly 11 oz of scalding liquid complacency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eArchitectural Support:\u003c\/b\u003e Dimensions stand at a rigid 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter to ensure structural dominance on your desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThermal Endurance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. The sarcasm will not fade under extreme heat or aggressive scrubbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When a colleague asks what martial art you study, take a long, unbroken sip, mention your pulled groin, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54978142863702,"sku":"2433647_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/The_Cucumber_Dojo__Funny_Sarcastic_Anti_Fitness_Ceramic_Mug_2bf1ee5b-55ae-4360-863d-c982f88be397.png?v=1787055088"},{"product_id":"village-idiot-called-funny-retro-sarcastic-mug","title":"Village Idiot Called | Funny Rude Sarcastic Retro Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the telecommunications hostility department. This premium ceramic vessel features a delighted retro housewife laughing hysterically into a telephone, accompanied by the brutally direct phrase \"Your village idiot called, they are missing their idiot.\" It is the ultimate morning chalice for anyone forced to endure sheer stupidity before their first cup of tea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Intellectual Superiority Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This ceramic asset targets the highly lucrative corporate exasperation sector. We entirely reject polite correction in favour of blatant, aggressive insults. It is the perfect vessel for surviving retail management, enduring endless customer service interactions, or simply reminding a specific housemate of their intellectual ranking. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who has frequently considered making this exact phone call on behalf of mankind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically frustrated. This rude mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a deeply cynical best friend, an exasperated office colleague, or a sibling who constantly tests your last nerve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our psychological warfare on inferior drinkware. This vessel is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your patronising attitude is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% premium white ceramic to withstand the daily grind of dealing with fools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eVolumetric Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two distinct sizes of liquid superiority: the standard 11 oz for quick insults, and the heavy duty 15 oz for full day exasperation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThermal Endurance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Your smug superiority will not fade under extreme heat or aggressive scrubbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When a coworker asks a truly mind numbing question, take a long sip from this mug, maintain unblinking eye contact, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Patronising \/ Chalice\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Patronizing \/ Chalice\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":55003800437078,"sku":"9255735_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":55003800469846,"sku":"9255735_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Village_Idiot_Called__Funny_Rude_Sarcastic_Retro_Ceramic_Mug_4de3d7cf-0ff6-457e-b82b-ae233fbe3983.png?v=1787050814"},{"product_id":"deep-ploughing-rude-gardening-innuendo-mug","title":"Deep Ploughing | Funny Rude Botanical Innuendo Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the botanical disappointment department. This premium ceramic vessel features a deeply unsatisfied retro housewife critiquing a lacklustre gardening effort, accompanied by the devastatingly weaponised phrase \"I specifically requested a deep ploughing, but he barely scratched my flowerbed.\" It is the ultimate morning chalice for anyone who appreciates aggressive double entendres and thoroughly tilled soil.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Botanical Innuendo Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This ceramic asset targets the highly lucrative rude gardening sector. We entirely reject subtle humour in favour of blatant agricultural disappointment. It is the perfect vessel for surviving tedious garden centre trips, enduring subpar domestic efforts, or simply making your partner deeply uncomfortable over a cup of tea. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects nothing less than a thoroughly excavated flowerbed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically unsatisfied. This rude mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic relative, or anyone whose entire personality revolves around making highly offensive horticultural jokes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our suggestive humour on inferior drinkware. This vessel is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your domestic grievances are displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent premium white ceramic to withstand the daily grind of domestic innuendo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eVolumetric Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two distinct sizes of liquid cheek: the standard 11 oz for quick coffees, and the heavy duty 15 oz for prolonged suggestive sipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThermal Endurance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Your deep ploughing graphic will not fade under extreme heat or aggressive scrubbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When someone asks how your garden is doing, take a long sip from this mug, sigh heavily, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Ploughing \/ Centre \/ Lacklustre\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Plowing \/ Center \/ Lackluster\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":55025140629846,"sku":"6032834_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":55025140662614,"sku":"6032834_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Deep_Ploughing__Funny_Rude_Botanical_Innuendo_Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1787050274"},{"product_id":"fiddling-with-his-hose-rude-gardening-innuendo-mug","title":"Fiddling With His Hose | Funny Rude Botanical Innuendo Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the domestic frustration department. This premium ceramic vessel features a manic retro housewife wielding garden shears over a tangled, leaking mess, accompanied by the highly weaponised phrase \"I told him to prune the bushes, but he spent the entire afternoon fiddling with his hose.\" It is the ultimate morning chalice for anyone who appreciates aggressive double entendres and absolute male incompetence in the garden.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Botanical Innuendo Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This ceramic asset targets the highly lucrative rude domestic sector. We entirely reject supportive partnerships in favour of blatant horticultural frustration. It is the perfect vessel for surviving tedious weekend DIY projects, enduring garden centre trips, or simply making your partner deeply uncomfortable over a cup of tea. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects maximum efficiency and zero fiddling during property maintenance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically disappointed. This rude mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic relative, or a spouse whose garden maintenance skills are entirely non-existent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our suggestive humour on inferior drinkware. This vessel is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your domestic grievances are displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent premium white ceramic to withstand the daily grind of dealing with fools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eVolumetric Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two distinct sizes of liquid cheek: the standard 11 oz for quick coffees, and the heavy duty 15 oz for prolonged suggestive sipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThermal Endurance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Your botanical frustration graphic will not fade under extreme heat or aggressive scrubbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When someone asks if the gardening is finished, take a long sip from this mug, sigh heavily, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Centre \/ Fiddling \/ Non-existent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Center \/ Messing around \/ Nonexisten\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":55025216356694,"sku":"8664513_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":55025216389462,"sku":"8664513_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Fiddling_With_His_Hose__Funny_Rude_Botanical_Innuendo_Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1787049364"},{"product_id":"proper-scrubbing-rude-innuendo-mug","title":"Proper Scrubbing | Funny Rude Domestic Innuendo Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the suggestive maintenance department. This premium ceramic vessel features a dedicated retro maid aggressively cleaning a chequered floor, accompanied by the highly weaponised phrase \"A PROPER SCRUBBING DOES WONDERS.\" It is the ultimate morning chalice for anyone who appreciates aggressive double entendres and impeccable personal hygiene.bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Domestic Innuendo Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This ceramic asset targets the highly lucrative rude domestic sector. We entirely reject wholesome cleaning routines in favour of blatant anatomical suggestions. It is the perfect vessel for surviving tedious spring cleaning, enduring unexpected houseguests, or simply making your partner deeply uncomfortable over a cup of tea. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects all surfaces to be thoroughly scrubbed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically inappropriate. This rude mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic relative, or anyone whose entire personality revolves around making offensive household jokes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our suggestive humour on inferior drinkware. This vessel is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your domestic pride is displayed on a crisp, stark canvas to allow the vintage colours to pop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent premium white ceramic to withstand the daily grind of domestic innuendo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eVolumetric Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two distinct sizes of liquid cheek: the standard 11 oz for quick coffees, and the heavy duty 15 oz for prolonged suggestive sipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThermal Endurance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Your aggressive scrubbing graphic will not fade under extreme heat or constant washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When a guest compliments your clean floors, take a long sip from this mug, deliver a knowing look, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Chequered\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Checkered\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":55025227465046,"sku":"7154593_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":55025227497814,"sku":"7154593_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Proper_Scrubbing__Funny_Rude_Domestic_Innuendo_Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1787049067"},{"product_id":"hot-buns-thick-glaze-rude-bakery-innuendo-mug","title":"The Hot Buns Ceramic Mug | Funny Suggestive Baking Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Suggestive Pastry Department\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e Welcome to the highly lucrative rude baking sector. This premium ceramic vessel features a delightfully wholesome retro bakery scene, entirely compromised by the devastatingly rude phrase: \"My hot buns require a remarkably thick glaze.\" We entirely reject wholesome kitchen dynamics in favour of blatant anatomical requests. It is the ultimate morning chalice for anyone who appreciates aggressive culinary double entendres and making their housemates deeply uncomfortable before breakfast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our suggestive humour on inferior drinkware. This vessel is built to strict premium specifications.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium, high-gloss white ceramic available in 11oz or 15oz sizes (because sometimes 11oz is not enough liquid cheek to deal with other people).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The text and retro graphics are permanently sublimated into the ceramic, meaning the innuendo will not fade under extreme heat or aggressive scrubbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrint Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Industry-leading vibrant colour reproduction, ensuring your domestic cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eGlobal Fulfillment:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed and routed locally through our global network of bespoke print facilities, meaning faster delivery times whether you are operating your bakery in the UK or the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance\u003c\/b\u003e When a guest asks what is in the oven, take a long sip from this mug, maintain unbroken eye contact, and submit the evidence to our administrative peasantry by tagging \u003cb\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e on Instagram using \u003cb\u003e#thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBritish English:\u003c\/b\u003e Cheeky \/ Humour \/ Favour\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAmerican English:\u003c\/b\u003e Sassy \/ Humor \/ Favor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eContext:\u003c\/b\u003e A highly inappropriate liquid vessel designed to initiate HR violations in both domestic and corporate kitchen environments across the pond.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":55040356024662,"sku":"2418033_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":55040356057430,"sku":"2418033_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Hot_Buns_Thick_Glaze__Funny_Rude_Retro_Bakery_Innuendo_Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1787153617"},{"product_id":"you-look-like-a-before-picture-white-mug","title":"You Look Like A Before Picture | Sarcastic Funny Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the corporate HR warning department. This premium ceramic mug features crisp, bold typography finished with the unforgettable verdict: \"You look like a before picture.\" It is the ultimate morning ritual uniform for anyone who appreciates deadpan aesthetics, zero small talk, and making colleagues read questionable sentences out loud across the office kitchen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThe Sarcastic Drinkware Hub\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis drinkware asset targets the highly lucrative rude novelty sector. We entirely reject boring, plain kitchenware in favour of classic minimalist aesthetics coupled with blatant adult humour. It is the perfect vessel for morning coffee, afternoon tea, or simply enduring endless meetings with maximum sarcastic confidence. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects absolute traditional excellence and proper workplace scandal in all caffeine operations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe provide logistical solutions for the chronically inappropriate. This sarcastic ceramic mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic coworker, or a partner who fancies themselves a connoisseur of silent insults.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePremium Drinkware Specifications \u0026amp; Construction\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe absolutely refuse to print our humorous designs on inferior materials. This mug is built to strict ceramic standards, ensuring your office cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from durable ceramic with a comfortable C-handle for a sturdy, premium grip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCapacity \u0026amp; Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two sizes. The 11 oz. version stands 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter, while the heavy-duty 15 oz. version stands 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter for those who require extra caffeine to handle the morning judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When a colleague asks about your mug in the breakroom, take a slow sip, maintain unblinking eye contact, point directly to the text artwork, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Cheeky\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Sassy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":55244626919766,"sku":"8135036_1320","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":55244626952534,"sku":"8135036_4830","price":18.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/You_Look_Like_A_Before_Picture__Sarcastic_Funny_Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1788797987"}],"url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/funny-dad-mugs.oembed?page=2","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}