{"title":"Anti-Social Office Essentials","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWelcome to the ultimate survival toolkit for the modern corporate nightmare. Our collection of funny office mugs and rude work gifts is specifically designed for the professional cynic. Whether you are trapped in a daily stand up that could have easily been an email or actively avoiding mandatory team building exercises, these sarcastic ceramic mugs do the talking for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eFeaturing our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream aesthetic, each piece of premium drink-ware is fully endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, our esteemed pug Chairman. From blunt warnings about your depleted social battery to outright declarations of your refusal to participate, these mugs are the perfect rude desk accessories. Upgrade your morning routine with premium corporate humour and keep annoying colleagues at a thoroughly safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-dont-like-you-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"I Don't Like You\" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHonesty is the best policy. Usually.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSome mornings, you just need to let the world know exactly where they stand before you’ve even finished your first coffee. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"128\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e mug features the iconic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"165\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e in his signature green suit, delivering the blunt, sarcastic message that everyone else is thinking, but only you (and the pug) are brave enough to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eWhether it’s for the office, the kitchen, or as a gift for that one person who appreciates a bit of \"rude and funny\" humor, this mug is the ultimate conversation starter (or finisher).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eWhy it’s better than your average mug:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Approved:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality print featuring the most judgmental pug in the business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Two Moods:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"49\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a quick caffeine hit, or a massive \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"94\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those days when \"I don't like you\" needs to last all morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Real Life:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e doesn't expect you to do the washing up by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafe for Humans:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free ceramic, ensuring your sarcasm remains the only toxic thing in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eCrafted to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eAt \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"3\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e, we don’t believe in dusty warehouses. Your mug is created specifically for you the moment you order it. This reduces waste and ensures your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"157\"\u003efunny pug gift\u003c\/b\u003e arrives fresh and ready to offend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping.\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog covers the delivery costs on every single order. No hidden fees, just zero bullsh*t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52779887427926,"sku":"6741091_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aec12f6e722.jpg?v=1776700214"},{"product_id":"my-social-battery-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"My Social Battery\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52780347621718,"sku":"5035567_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52780347654486,"sku":"5035567_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aed7e388d27.jpg?v=1776679409"},{"product_id":"grumpy-aristocrat-this-could-have-been-an-email-white-mug","title":"Grumpy Aristocrat - 'This Could Have Been An Email' White Mug","description":"Sip Your Silent Judgment in Sophisticated Cucumber Style.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIntroduce your beverage to a level of weary sophistication it never knew it needed. The Grumpy Aristocrat mug, featuring our defining design from the Sir Cucumber Dog collection, is more than a cup; it's a statement.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCrafted from high-quality white ceramic, this 11oz mug is the physical incarnation of every moment spent in a meeting that should, frankly, have been an email. The centerpiece is our meticulous grumpy aristocratic bulldog, adorned in his tailored patterned waistcoat and sporting his signature, judgmental cucumber slice monocle. He is a master of efficient disdain, silently asking the hard questions: Why are we here? Is there a faster way to ignore you?","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52788627767638,"sku":"1110743_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52788627800406,"sku":"1110743_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b00a1ccd7b6.jpg?v=1776678971"},{"product_id":"current-mood-pretending-to-work-mug-funny-office-gift","title":"The Pretending to Work Ceramic Mug: Professional Loitering for the Elite","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eMost people call it career progression. Sir Cucumber Dog calls it a pathetic display of digital loitering. If you have spent more time refreshing your inbox than actually responding to it, you are in excellent, albeit lazy, company. This mug is the official uniform for anyone who has mastered the art of looking intensely busy while actually wondering what a pug does for a pension.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Corporate Deception\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing the Chairman himself dressed in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, this design provides the exact level of judgement your workspace currently lacks. Set against a vibrant Cucumber green background, the bold white text makes it clear that you are not just working: you are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"292\"\u003ePRETENDING TO WORK\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eJudgemental Aesthetics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in high definition, squinting through his monocle at your open browser tabs and questionable search history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Strategic Founder:\u003c\/b\u003e The brand was born when our founder, Jason, decided that managing a rebellious skeleton was a full time job in itself. He realised that sitting in a comfortable chair and looking busy was a far superior career path. This mug is a tribute to that realization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Just because you are lazy does not mean your mug should be. Made from high quality ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eZero Waste Production:\u003c\/b\u003e We make these on demand to avoid the clutter of overproduction. It is a thoughtful approach that the Chairman finds tolerable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning Loafer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you need a small dose of caffeine or a massive bucket of tea to get through your fake meetings, we have you covered:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Both sizes are dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously covered the delivery cost. We will get your new favourite mug to your doorstep without any extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52788673249622,"sku":"3424714_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52788673282390,"sku":"3424714_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b00b9c8d325.jpg?v=1776441618"},{"product_id":"not-a-morning-or-afternoon-person-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Not a Morning Person\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe funny rude mug for people who are not a morning person… or an afternoon person.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLet’s be honest. Time doesn’t matter when you’re simply not built for human interaction. Whether it’s 8:00 AM or 3:00 PM, the vibe is the same: absolutely not. This funny rude mug is made for anyone who runs on caffeine, sarcasm, and minimal conversation.\u003cbr\u003eFeaturing the ever-unimpressed Cucumber Dog, suited, monocled, and judging the entire concept of “being approachable,” this funny coffee mug delivers your message loud and clear:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI’M NOT A MORNING PERSON. OR AN AFTERNOON PERSON.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s the perfect sarcastic mug for your desk, a brilliant funny gift for introverts, and an essential tool for keeping small talk at a safe distance while you sip in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhy this mug is a mood:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Approved: Features the original pug in a suit for maximum judgment.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo Sizes Available: Choose the 11 oz for a quick brew or the 15 oz for those days when human interaction is particularly difficult.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuilt to Last: High-gloss white ceramic that is lead and BPA-free.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEasy Maintenance: Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because you definitely aren't a \"washing up person\" either.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePicture this on your desk or kitchen counter, quietly warning the world before anyone attempts conversation. No awkward chats. No forced enthusiasm. Just you, your drink, and a very clear message.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny rude gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIntroverts and antisocial legends\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOffice survival mugs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who hates mornings… and everything after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFree UK shipping on all orders (yes, really).\u003c\/strong\u003e Each mug is made to order, so please allow a few extra days for printing and dispatch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis funny rude mug is the perfect novelty gift in the UK for anyone who loves sarcastic humour, introvert jokes, and bold designs that say exactly what they’re thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791261299030,"sku":"1875238_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791261331798,"sku":"1875238_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b04f5cc08bd.jpg?v=1776356180"},{"product_id":"proud-team-player-i-hate-you-all-mug-funny-sarcastic-work-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Proud Team Player\" Mug | Funny Rude Work Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe ultimate funny office mug for surviving workplace politics.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you’ve ever smiled through a meeting while mentally drafting your resignation speech, this funny work mug gets it. The “Proud Team Player” mug is designed for anyone walking the fine line between professional excellence and total internal meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis brilliantly sarcastic office mug shows both sides of your personality. One side proudly declares:\u003cbr\u003ePROUD TEAM PLAYER!\u003cbr\u003eFlip it around, and there’s the truth you’re really thinking:\u003cbr\u003eI HATE YOU ALL!!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBoth sides feature the ever-judgemental Cucumber Dog, suited, monocled, and silently questioning every life choice that led you to that meeting.\u003cbr\u003eSet on crisp white ceramic, the bold design makes your message loud and clear, whether you’re facing your boss or protecting your sanity. It’s the perfect funny coworker gift, a savage Secret Santa option, or a daily survival tool for your own desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhy this is the best seat at the table:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eDual-Sided Design:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFeatures both the \"Team Player\" and \"I Hate You\" slogans.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSignature Style: Showcases Sir Cucumber Dog in his iconic lime green suit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuilt for the Office: Microwave and dishwasher safe for those endless back-to-back meetings.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium Quality: Lead and BPA-free ceramic that feels as solid as your workplace boundaries.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePicture this sitting on your desk during a meeting. Boss walks past? Team Player side forward. Colleagues testing your patience? Quick swivel. Instant honesty. Zero consequences (hopefully).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny office gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRude coworker presents\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSecret Santa chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone surviving corporate life with sarcasm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eFree UK shipping on all orders (yes, really). Each mug is made to order, so please allow a few extra days for printing and dispatch.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791324246358,"sku":"4457000_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791324279126,"sku":"4457000_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0533e2a40b.jpg?v=1776354692"},{"product_id":"promoted-beyond-your-competence-office-mug-sir-cucumber-dog","title":"The Accidental Promotion Mug: A Celebration of Incompetence","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe career ladder is a treacherous thing. Some people climb it with grace, while others simply trip on the bottom rung and find themselves accidentally propelled into management. If you or a colleague have successfully risen to the absolute peak of your inability, this is the commemorative ceramic you deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eBased on the legendary Peter Principle, this design is a stunning monument to corporate failure. It is the perfect gift for the newly promoted boss who has no idea what they are doing, or for the seasoned veteran who has been winging it since 1994.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Career Satire\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing Sir Cucumber Dog in his most regal and disappointed state, this mug brings a touch of high end disdain to every meeting. Set within an ornate gold frame, the Chairman observes your inevitable downfall with the quiet patience of a pug who knows you are just one spreadsheet away from a total meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Peter Principle in Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A daily reminder that you have finally reached the level where you are no longer useful. It is a liberating realization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eImperial Aesthetics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a much needed anchor of sophistication for your messy desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Strategic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Secret Santa, office leaving dos, or simply as a \"Congratulations\" to the person who just failed upwards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously covered the delivery cost. We will get this tribute to your incompetence to your doorstep without any unnecessary faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overwhelmed Manager\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to calm your nerves or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are productive, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to last longer than your current job security.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand. This reduces waste and ensures we aren't overproducing items that the Chairman would only have to judge later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e boss, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"82\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any office gift exchange. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"132\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against corporate boredom and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"180\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily grind. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of management failure is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"267\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any office or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"300\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Promoted Beyond Your Competence Office Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/promoted-beyond-your-competence-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Call out corporate ineptitude with the Promoted Beyond Your Competence office mug. A funny, premium ceramic cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, perfect for that one manager who has no idea what they are doing.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-INCOMPETENCE-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/promoted-beyond-your-competence-office-mug-sir-cucumber-dog\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53200790978902,"sku":"7548610_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53200791011670,"sku":"7548610_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_sarcastic_promotion_mug_Cucumber_Dog_mug_with_the_text_reads_YOU_HAVE_BEEN_PROMOTED_BEYOND_YOUR_LEVEL_OF_COMPETENCE_followed_by_CONGRATULATIONS_ON_THE_ACCIDENT.jpg?v=1777037414"},{"product_id":"keep-calm-what-the-f-ck-do-you-want-funny-office-mug","title":"Keep Calm What The F*ck Do You Want Funny Office Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has reached the absolute absolute limit of his patience with modern corporate etiquette. The passive aggressive emails, the constant calendar invitations, and the cheery requests to \"hop on a quick call\" deserve a swift, unfiltered response.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Keep Calm and What The F*ck Do You Want?!\" office mug. It is a premium ceramic masterpiece designed to deliver a masterclass in the severe stare, saving your precious vocal cords from addressing unwanted visitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eCorporate Camouflage at Its Finest\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject standard, overly polite office desk decor. This vessel combines a classic British aesthetic with aggressive workplace realism, perfectly crafted to establish personal boundaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eDeter unwanted colleagues instantly\u003c\/b\u003e with an unyielding front graphic of Sir Cucumber Dog delivering a judgement filled glare in his signature cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eMaintain your exquisite corporate aesthetic\u003c\/b\u003e against a deep, elegant Cucumber green textured background, bordered by intricate gold Victorian scrolls and subtle cucumber details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eSustain your energy levels through the most tedious board meetings\u003c\/b\u003e with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eKeep your workplace boundary active for years\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a highly durable, premium white ceramic build that is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003eEnjoy an permanently vibrant warning\u003c\/b\u003e that will never scratch, peel, or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke sublimation process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Deflecting Desk Invaders\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you use this funny office mug for maximum defensive coverage? Our expert corporate survival advice is simple: tracking. Whenever a colleague wanders over to your desk with a \"quick question,\" do not look up from your screen. Simply lift this premium vessel to eye level, ensuring the bold gold lettering is directed squarely at their face. Hold the position until they stop speaking and back away slowly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eThis is the definitive answer for anyone searching for the best sarcastic office gift for an introverted coworker, a stressed manager, or a business owner who has entirely run out of patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Victorian Anti Positivity, Sarcastic Office Humour, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Silently communicating boundaries and surviving the corporate daily grind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53904985063766,"sku":"8759837_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53904985096534,"sku":"8759837_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Keep_Calm_What_The_Fck_Do_You_Want_Funny_Office_Mug.webp?v=1779197684"}],"url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/funny-office-mugs-rude-work-gifts.oembed","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}