{"title":"The Introvert's Daily Manifesto","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWelcome to The Introvert's Daily Manifesto. This collection of funny sarcastic mugs for introverts is explicitly designed for those who find human interaction exhausting and completely unnecessary. If you are looking for antisocial mugs, funny self deprecating gifts, or the perfect rude everyday drinkware to set strict boundaries before your morning coffee, you are exactly where you need to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eFeaturing our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream aesthetic, each piece is fully endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, our esteemed plush pug Chairman who oversees operations in his bespoke cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and gleaming monocle. From warding off unprompted small talk to proudly displaying your two functioning brain cells, these boundary setting novelty mugs do the speaking so you do not have to. Upgrade your morning routine with premium British sarcasm and keep the general public at a thoroughly safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-dont-fart-darling-white-mug","title":"I Don't Fart Darling White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51534061404502,"sku":"7840249_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51534061437270,"sku":"7840249_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e90a400578b.jpg?v=1777640338"},{"product_id":"inside-voice-never-met-her-mug","title":"Inside Voice? Never Met Her Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51534177108310,"sku":"9065682_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51534177141078,"sku":"9065682_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e90e4cc6f0a-_1.jpg?v=1762771744"},{"product_id":"i-talk-to-myself-white-glossy-mug","title":"\"Talk To Myself\" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Only Intelligent Conversation Left\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has spent a considerable amount of time observing human interaction, and frankly, he is unimpressed. The small talk, the weather, the unsolicited opinions: it is all quite exhausting. He has concluded that the only way to guarantee a high level of intellectual discourse is to simply speak to yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on as you enjoy a private joke with the only person who truly understands you: yourself. The bold text reads: \"SOMETIMES I TALK TO MYSELF BECAUSE I NEED EXPERT ADVICE.\" It is the perfect vessel for the office eccentric, the home-worker who has gone slightly feral, or anyone who finds the rest of society to be a bit of a letdown.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Social Shield:\u003c\/b\u003e Hold this mug up during meetings to signal that you are already engaged in a far more interesting internal dialogue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are sipping an Earl Grey or a stiff black coffee, this high-gloss white ceramic ensures your drink stays warm while your social life cools off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDishwasher and Microwave Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e The Chairman’s scowl is engineered to withstand the heat. The print is high-definition and designed to resist fading, even after hundreds of washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e An ideal choice for that one friend who is legally prohibited from being \"the life of the party.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who have a lot to say to themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a vibrant, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your health so you can continue your solitary monologues in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51539734462806,"sku":"1262161_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51539734495574,"sku":"1262161_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7b1a3cafbb.jpg?v=1776793393"},{"product_id":"sir-cucumber-dog-i-woke-up-buff-again-white-mug","title":"Sir Cucumber Dog: \"I WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eNeed a dose of delusion to start your day? This mug, featuring your brand's mascot, the impeccably dressed \u003cb\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e, delivers the perfect hit of sarcastic swagger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog—the plush toy pug in the \u003cb\u003ecucumber-print suit\u003c\/b\u003e, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle—may look dapper, but he's also utterly convinced of his own physique. The bold text, \"\u003cb\u003eI WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!\u003c\/b\u003e\" makes this the ultimate \u003cb\u003efunny gift\u003c\/b\u003e for anyone who frequently skips leg day, struggles with morning routines, or just loves self-deprecating, \u003cb\u003erude humour\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eIt's a brilliant \u003cb\u003egag gift\u003c\/b\u003e for a gym-goer who takes themselves too seriously, a brilliant \u003cb\u003esarcastic coffee mug\u003c\/b\u003e for a colleague, or a perfect treat for yourself. Forget fitness, focus on the funny!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDesign:\u003c\/b\u003e Features the dapper pug, Sir Cucumber Dog, and the highly confident text, \"\u003cb\u003eI WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!\u003c\/b\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTone:\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cb\u003eRude, funny, sarcastic\u003c\/b\u003e, and slightly \u003cb\u003eoffensive\u003c\/b\u003e (to fitness fanatics).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality ceramic mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSizes:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7,3,1\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,1,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz (Standard Size):\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for a quick caffeine boost.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,1,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e15oz (Large Size):\u003c\/b\u003e For when you need extra time to admire your 'gains'.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Microwave and dishwasher safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePlease Note: We Print This Fresh For You\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe don't keep a massive, dusty pile of stock. To be kinder to the planet (and avoid a ridiculous pile-up of buff pugs), we print your mug especially for you as soon as you place an order.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis means we need a little time to work our magic to print, perfect, and pack your order before it ships. We promise it's worth the wait!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51620209066326,"sku":"3380572_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51620209099094,"sku":"3380572_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e75870dcbb1.jpg?v=1776769146"},{"product_id":"two-brain-cells-mug","title":"Two Brain Cells Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Scientific Analysis of Modern Intelligence\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIt has come to the Chairman’s attention that many of you are operating on a severely limited internal processing unit. Sir Cucumber Dog has observed that for most of the population, there are exactly two brain cells remaining: and they are currently fighting for third place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is not just a mug, it is a diagnostic tool for your office environment. Whether you are drinking a robust English breakfast tea or a double espresso to jumpstart your own stalled neurons, this mug serves as a constant reminder of the intellectual desert you navigate daily. Featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature cucumber print suit and monocle, looking on with a mixture of pity and aristocratic boredom, it is the ultimate gift for the person who is tired of explaining simple concepts to their colleagues.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Social Commentary:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the most sophisticated way to tell someone they are a few sandwiches short of a picnic without actually saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic to ensure the vibrant Cucumber green and yellow accents pop against the pristine background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Just because the subject matter is flimsy doesn't mean the mug is. This is a sturdy piece of kitchenware designed to withstand the dishwasher and the microwave.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eUniversal Truth:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are in a boardroom or a break room, the message remains painfully relevant. It is a masterclass in British sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in 11oz for a standard hit of caffeine, or 15oz for those who need extra volume to cope with the surrounding mediocrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely BPA and lead-free. We care about your health, even if we have given up on your intellectual potential.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrint Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e We use elite printing partners to ensure the Chairman’s scowl remains crisp and judgemental for years to come.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51647539118422,"sku":"3837852_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51647539151190,"sku":"3837852_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Sir_Cucumber_Dog_the_pug_and_the_text_Two_Brain_Cells_Fighting_for_Third_Place_in_bold_black_and_green_lettering._cucumber_dog.jpg?v=1779801615"},{"product_id":"i-still-owe-jesus-a-fiver-mug","title":"I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER! Mug","description":"Some debts are eternal, but this one is just plain awkward. Embrace the blasphemous banter with this bold, bright, and unapologetically rude mug.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis design isn't just for anyone; it's the perfect gift for the older one in your life. We’re talking about that friend or relative who is so vintage they were probably around when water was first being turned into wine. If they’re reaching an age where they’ve seen it all (and forgotten half of it), this funny over-the-hill gift will give them a proper laugh.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeaturing the high-contrast combo of our signature lime green text against a deep purple background, this mug screams financial failings from a bygone era. Whether they’re a retired legend with a dark sense of humour or just someone who enjoys a bit of offensive banter, this is the ultimate conversation starter.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nKey Features:\u003cbr\u003e\nDesign: Bold lime green typography on a purple background reading: \"I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER!\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Perfect \"Old Person\" Gift: An ideal funny 50th, 60th, or 70th birthday gift for someone who’s been around since the beginning of time.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTone: Funny, irreverent, offensive, and sarcastic.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMaterial: High-quality ceramic that’s built to last longer than your repayment plan.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSizes: * 11oz (Standard): The classic choice for a standard tea or coffee.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n15oz (Large): For those days when you need extra caffeine to remember where you left your keys.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDurability: Microwave and dishwasher safe—because life is too short for hand-washing.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Coasters \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52212910391638,"sku":"6771693_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52212910424406,"sku":"6771693_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-695be15eed8fd.jpg?v=1767629180"},{"product_id":"stupid-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"Stupid\" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Pug Design","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52780783894870,"sku":"8544538_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52780783927638,"sku":"8544538_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aee12452b32.jpg?v=1776679337"},{"product_id":"i-tried-being-normal-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift","title":"\"I Tried Being Normal\" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eAdmit it: you gave \"normal\" a go once and it was a total nightmare. If you prefer a bit of character over conformity, this is the daily reminder that your eccentricities are your best feature. Being ordinary is, quite frankly, exhausting. Sir Cucumber Dog is here to make sure you never have to try it again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVisual Description: The Pug with Elegant Disdain\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThis high-gloss white ceramic mug features the one and only \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e. Our iconic plush toy pug mascot is looking particularly unimpressed in his tailored Cucumber green suit, yellow bow tie, and signature cucumber monocle. Framed by bold typography, the message is clear: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"280\"\u003e\"I TRIED BEING NORMAL. WORST 5 MINUTES OF MY LIFE!\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a design that delivers maximum judgemental energy to anyone in your line of sight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Need This Mug\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eWhether you are navigating a tedious office meeting or hiding from the world at home, let the pug do the talking. Simply tilt the mug to reveal your truth to the room, sip your tea, and celebrate the fact that you survived those five minutes of being ordinary. It is the perfect vessel for anyone who prefers their caffeine with a side of elegant disdain and a cold, hard truth about fitting in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Highlights \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Every Mood:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a classic brew or a generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"88\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those mornings when you need extra strength to face the \"normal\" world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIconic Mascot Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly printed to ensure the signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream palette stays vibrant and sharp.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Upkeep:\u003c\/b\u003e This dishwasher and microwave safe coffee cup ensures you have better things to do than stand at the sink performing manual labour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eToxic-Free Sipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Enjoy your brew in premium ceramic that is completely lead and BPA-free for a cleaner, safer experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSustainable Crafting:\u003c\/b\u003e Each unique mug is created specifically for you the moment you order, reducing waste and bypassing the soul-crushing boredom of mass production.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is It For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Eccentric Soul:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who has always been a bit \"different\" and is fiercely proud of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Pug Obsessive:\u003c\/b\u003e A sophisticated upgrade from the usual dog-themed gifts, featuring a plush pug with a monocle and a mission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Sarcastic Office Worker:\u003c\/b\u003e The ideal companion for the colleague who is one tedious meeting away from a total meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52789558772054,"sku":"7419443_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52789558804822,"sku":"7419443_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0181e48e43.jpg?v=1776440883"},{"product_id":"busier-than-a-cucumber-mug-funny-rude-sir-cucumber-dog-gift","title":"The Ultimate Boundary Setting Device: The \"Busier Than A Cucumber\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhen your schedule is absolute chaos, let the mug do the talking. If your calendar is a disaster and your to-do list has become sentient, this funny rude mug is your official badge of honour. The \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"196\"\u003eBusier Than a Cucumber\u003c\/b\u003e mug is designed for those juggling too much, surviving on caffeine, and communicating exclusively through high level sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis essential piece from our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"30\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection features the legendary \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"75\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e himself. Dressed in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, he delivers pure judgement with aristocratic style. Set against a signature Cucumber green label on a crisp white ceramic body, the design is printed on both sides to ensure your boundary setting is visible from every angle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug Handles the Pressure\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIt is more than a vessel for coffee: it is a strategic tool for the modern workplace. Picture it sitting on your desk while emails pile up and deadlines loom, quietly informing everyone to back off without you having to utter a single word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured on both sides, making his dapper disdain visible to everyone in the room, whether you are left or right handed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Sarcastic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for office gifts, rude Secret Santa presents, or that work bestie who is permanently \"flat out\" but still thriving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSignature Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e The Cucumber green and white colour scheme provides a sophisticated, clean look for a beautifully inappropriate joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overworked\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes Available:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz (9.6 cm height) or 15 oz (11.9 cm height).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e High quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for the Grind:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally in whatever country you are in to ensure fast delivery and a lower carbon footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree Global Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Colonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"21\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e coworker, this is the one. Whether they work in an office or a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"127\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e for excellence, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"155\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the perfect \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"22\" data-index-in-node=\"185\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against a busy schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52791409181014,"sku":"4890941_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52791409213782,"sku":"4890941_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/busier_than_a_cucumber_in_a_woman_s_prison_funny_rude_Cucumber_Dog_mug.jpg?v=1777195749"},{"product_id":"how-to-pick-up-chicks-white-mug","title":"The Literal Guide to Romance: The \"How to Pick Up Chicks\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed that the \"single life\" often involves a lot of confusing metaphors and questionable decisions on digital dating apps. In an effort to bring some common sense to your romantic plight, he has approved this literal guide to \"picking up chicks.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design is a lighthearted joke for the person who has decided that human mating rituals are far too much effort. It is the perfect way to have a bit of fun with your relationship status while enjoying a superior brew.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of Social Literal-ism\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a dapper tutorial on social logistics, this design offers a refreshing alternative to the modern dating scene. It is a victory for common sense, curated by a pug who thinks your romantic struggles are adorable yet highly inefficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLiteral Logic:\u003c\/b\u003e Why navigate the complexities of human emotion when you can simply lift several small, yellow, feathered creatures? It is a far more rewarding use of your time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Single Life Essential:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed for the person who is currently \"uncoupled\" and prefers the company of poultry (or just a good laugh) to another awkward first date.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVisual Excellence:\u003c\/b\u003e A vibrant, high quality print that captures the sheer joy of literal chick procurement in stunning detail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for the friend who has officially \"retired\" from dating, the poultry enthusiast, or anyone who appreciates a cheeky technicality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Literal Romantic\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you are drinking a victory tea or a \"happy to be single\" coffee, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm (3.8 inches) in height and 8.2 cm (3.2 inches) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm (4.7 inches) in height and 8.5 cm (3.3 inches) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Build:\u003c\/b\u003e High quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Built to survive the heat of your next social interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is created specifically for you the moment you buy it. This avoids unnecessary waste and ensures your gift is as fresh as a spring chick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. We will get your dating manual to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52908048318806,"sku":"2078944_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":52908048351574,"sku":"2078944_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/How_to_pick_up_chicks_mug_funny_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777115111"},{"product_id":"i-fart-in-lifts-funny-rude-mug","title":"The I Fart In Lifts Ceramic Mug: A Masterclass in Social Distancing","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThere are few things as quintessentially British as standing in a confined metal box with strangers and maintaining absolute silence. Sir Cucumber Dog believes that if you are going to break that silence, you should do it with a level of biological warfare that ensures you never have to share a lift again. This mug is for the individual who treats a three floor journey as a prime opportunity for atmospheric disruption.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of Social Sabotage\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eFeaturing a candid illustration of a gentleman in a state of high pressure panic, this design captures the exact moment a quiet commute becomes a memorable event. Set against a deep forest green background, the bold cream text leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Warning Label:\u003c\/b\u003e It is the perfect office accessory for the person who simply cannot be trusted in small spaces.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Branding:\u003c\/b\u003e While the subject matter is, quite literally, gas, the quality is undeniably premium. Every mug features the underlying judgement of the Cucumber Dog empire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTactical Honesty:\u003c\/b\u003e Stop hiding your biological reality. Wear your flaws on your drink ware and watch as your colleagues suddenly decide to take the stairs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously decided that the air in the delivery van should remain fresh for as long as possible. We will get this to your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Frequent Flyer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eWhether you need a small caffeine hit to fuel your next floor jump or a massive bucket of tea for the long ride to the penthouse, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to survive the heat, unlike the passengers in your lift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eZero Waste Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand to reduce overproduction. 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This mug is not a toy; it is a declaration of linguistic authority. Designed for those who believe that \"simplified\" is just a polite word for \"lazy,\" this piece serves as a daily reminder to maintain standards in a world that has clearly let itself go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eSet against a bold Union Jack backdrop, the Chairman sits in his velvet armchair, flanked by the flags of both the mainland and the former colonies. His expression is one of profound disappointment as he delivers a message that every American needs to hear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of British Superiority\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a regal scroll design entwined with cucumber vines, this mug brings a touch of aristocratic authority to your kitchen. We have specifically included the \"simplified\" versions to ensure our friends across the pond understand exactly what they are missing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vowel Restoration Project:\u003c\/b\u003e Boldly lists the correct spellings of \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"69\"\u003eColour\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003eHonour\u003c\/b\u003e, and \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"89\"\u003eBehaviour\u003c\/b\u003e to remind everyone that three little letters make a world of difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe American Translation:\u003c\/b\u003e For those used to seeing words \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003ewithout the u\u003c\/b\u003e, like \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"84\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"91\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"104\"\u003eflavor\u003c\/b\u003e, consider this your official linguistic upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Imperial Stare:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a constant reminder of the high standards you are expected to uphold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect \"Expat\" Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Brits living in the USA who are tired of their spellcheck constantly undermining them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Sophisticated Scholar\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Built to survive the heat of a Transatlantic argument.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is created specifically for you the moment you buy it. This avoids unnecessary waste and ensures we aren't overproducing items for a world that can't even spell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Generosity:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously decided that the delivery cost is beneath him. We offer \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"107\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on every order, ensuring this piece of education reaches your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e American friend, look no further. Even if you prefer the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"121\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e of a simplified dictionary, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"163\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e ceramic cup is the best \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"195\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring office gifts. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"251\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e for linguistic restoration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Linguistic Ultimatum: The 'U' Matters Ceramic Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/the-linguistic-ultimatum-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Defend proper British spelling with The Linguistic Ultimatum mug. 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Sir Cucumber Dog is fundamentally opposed to mornings. He requires a massive dose of caffeine to function. This stops him from hating the sheer existence of the general public. Your daily routine might involve aggressive sighing. You might avoid eye contact until your coffee is finished. If so, this premium ceramic vessel is your new official uniform. It makes the absolute perfect pug gift for miserable people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eWhy These Funny Pug Mugs Are Essential\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eWe do not simply sell standard drinkware. We provide highly relatable coping mechanisms for your desk. These mugs act as a physical barrier against overly cheerful morning people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003eDefeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features Sir Cucumber Dog physically bathing in a frothy cappuccino. He is proudly wearing his signature cucumber monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003eDual Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for your initial espresso. Or pick the 15 oz vessel for terrible mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003ePremium Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands scalding hot coffee and crushing early morning alarms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003eEffortless Care:\u003c\/b\u003e This vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand whilst half asleep is highly insulting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every piece is proudly printed to order. Your mug arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eWhat sizes are available for these funny pug mugs?\u003c\/b\u003e The Morning Pug-accino design comes in two sizes. Choose a standard 11 oz size for a quick fix. Or select the large 15 oz size for difficult mornings. Both sizes feature Sir Cucumber Dog prominently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIs this coffee cup safe for the dishwasher?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. Washing cups by hand while half awake is a terrible idea. This premium ceramic vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. It ensures completely effortless cleaning every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eHow is the artwork applied to the ceramic?\u003c\/b\u003e We use a high quality printing process via Printful. This ensures the detailed illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog will not peel or fade. His signature cucumber monocle will remain perfectly intact through many washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWhat colours are featured in the artwork?\u003c\/b\u003e The design proudly features our signature brand colours. You will see vibrant cucumber green and smooth cucumber cream. These tones contrast beautifully with the rich brown of the frothy cappuccino.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"15\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your morning coffee ritual, this mug must be the \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"70\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a brilliant \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"109\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against cheerful \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"134\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e from anyone in your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"163\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. The rich brown \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"192\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the text is perfectly \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"223\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e to match your morning brew. Whether you are commuting to the local movie \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"304\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e or just working from home, this will undoubtedly be your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"369\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new cup!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/morning-pug-accino-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Start your day with the Morning Pug-accino mug. A funny, premium ceramic coffee cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog. Perfect for avoiding morning conversations.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-PUGACCINO-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/morning-pug-accino-funny-coffee-mug?variant=53504186745174\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53504186745174,"sku":"2865081_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53504186777942,"sku":"2865081_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_a_pug_in_a_green_suit_and_monocle_sitting_inside_a_giant_cappuccino_cup._Text_reads_MORNING_PUG-ACCINO..jpg?v=1778159097"},{"product_id":"kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-funny-mug","title":"Kindly Pardon My Arrogance Funny Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIf you are searching for the best \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"34\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e, The Chairman is here to help. Sir Cucumber Dog firmly believes that honesty is the best policy. However, dealing with insufferable members of the general public requires tact. A touch of polite preamble makes the final verdict much sweeter. If a colleague requires a formal reality check, this ceramic vessel is perfect. It serves as the ultimate gavel of justice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the Kindly Pardon My Arrogance mug. It is the absolute pinnacle of British insults. It is perfectly disguised as a sophisticated desktop accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Formal Judgement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drinkware. We provide highly formal declarations of disdain. These \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"119\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e are for people who desperately need a reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Offensive Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunning illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog holding court. He wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie. He sits within an ornate wooden crest with decorative cucumbers. A gold seal delivers the final glorious verdict: TWAT!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for a swift insult over morning tea. Or select the substantial 15 oz vessel for a larger reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands hot coffee and the shocked gasps of your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand after a flawless insult is entirely beneath your dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order using a high quality bespoke process. Your new vessel arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this offensive pug mug designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. The word \"TWAT\" is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat colours are used in this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. Sir Cucumber Dog wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"FAQPage\",\n  \"mainEntity\": [\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Who is this offensive pug mug designed for?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yes, it absolutely is. The word 'TWAT' is proudly displayed within a gold seal. 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Not everyone wakes up feeling like a majestic, mythical creature ready to conquer the day. Most of us wake up looking exactly like the deranged, sleep deprived beast plastered on this premium ceramic vessel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn\" mug. It is the ultimate antidote to inspirational quotes and overly cheerful morning people, serving as a highly accurate reflection of your internal state.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEmbrace the Morning Delusion\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject standard, mass produced affirmations. This vessel provides a masterclass in aggressive realism, perfectly crafted for the perpetually exhausted who need practical benefits along with their daily dose of sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProject an aura of unhinged confidence\u003c\/b\u003e to terrify your colleagues before your first meeting, powered by your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSurvive the daily grind without adding chores to your evening\u003c\/b\u003e, thanks to a robust, fully microwave and dishwasher safe ceramic build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eShield your hands from the boiling temperature of your morning brew\u003c\/b\u003e with our premium, thick walled white ceramic construction that withstands everyday office abuse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy a flawless, vibrant insult\u003c\/b\u003e that will not peel or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke printing process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Surviving the Corporate Morning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIf you are wondering how to deflect unwanted conversations before 9 AM, our expert advice is simple: camouflage. This mug serves as a visual representation of how it feels to join a video call with a raging hangover or zero sleep. Hold it directly in front of your face and stare blankly at your manager until they slowly back away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eFor those searching for the best sarcastic gift for a coworker who has been running on empty since 2020, this vessel provides genuine utility. It speaks the truth so they do not have to waste their precious breath.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your lack of sleep, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"116\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"147\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly peppy morning \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"193\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The vibrant pastel \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"222\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the deranged mane shows you take your sarcasm seriously. Make sure your coffee is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"321\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"368\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"419\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug and avoid the public altogether.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/beautiful-unicorn-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Start your morning with aggressive realism. 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The \"Sometimes I Lick The Spoon\" coaster features bold, colourful typography and playful doodles, perfectly contrasted against our signature cucumber cream background. It is the ideal cheeky addition to any kitchen counter or office desk, guaranteed to make your guests look twice at the communal sugar bowl.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"34\"\u003eAs part of the official Sir Cucumber Dog homeware collection, we ensure our novelty designs are backed by rigorous physical quality. Manufactured via Printful, this drinks mat boasts a robust, heat-resistant top layer capable of handling boiling hot mugs without blistering or fading. The thick cork backing provides a non-slip grip while keeping your wooden and glass surfaces completely scratch-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"35\"\u003eWhether you are buying a secret Santa gift for the office menace or treating yourself to some playful home decor, this coaster delivers lasting durability and a brilliant punchline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"36\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"36\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Specifications:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"37\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"37,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"37,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTop Material:\u003c\/b\u003e High-gloss, moisture and heat-resistant coating\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"37,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"37,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBase Material:\u003c\/b\u003e Non-slip, scratch-resistant cork backing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"37,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"37,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Standard size for UK mugs, teacups, and pint glasses\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"37,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"37,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign:\u003c\/b\u003e Vibrant, multi-coloured typography on a cucumber cream base\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"37,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"37,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Wipe clean only with a damp cloth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54093912277334,"sku":"7296266_15662","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/funny-rude-office-desk-drinks-mat.png?v=1780585366"}],"url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/funny-sarcastic-mugs-for-introverts.oembed","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}