{"title":"HOSTILE ATHLETICS","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"chicago-athletics-cream-hoodie","title":"Chicago Deep Dish Regret Bone Hoodie","description":"\u003cp id=\"p-rc_8c6bfb4e1e517ad5-76\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is a premium, heavyweight bone coloured hoodie from our new Hostile Athletics collection. The chest features a striking vintage athletic graphic with the word 'CHICAGO' arched in bold green block typography and outlined in crisp orange\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003csup class=\"superscript\"\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Situated directly beneath this is the brutally honest phrase 'FROZEN FACE, DEEP DISH REGRET' rendered in a refined green serif font\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003csup class=\"superscript\"\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. It is a high-end streetwear staple designed to deliver warmth and unapologetic sarcasm.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWho Is This For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis garment is engineered for a very specific demographic. It is for the cynical Chicago local, the traumatised tourist who vastly underestimated the wind chill, and anyone who understands that consuming three pounds of cheese and dough requires a mandatory 48-hour recovery period. If you appreciate premium apparel and have a profound disdain for forced positivity, this belongs in your wardrobe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhy Choose This Hoodie? (Technical Specifications)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe prioritise longevity and structural integrity over fast fashion trends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrint Technology:\u003c\/b\u003e We utilise advanced DTF (Direct to Film) printing. This guarantees the green and orange graphic will maintain its crisp edges and vibrant saturation without cracking after repeated washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFabric Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Constructed with a 100 per cent cotton face for an ultra-soft hand feel, backed by a 65 per cent ring-spun cotton and 35 per cent polyester blend to lock in maximum warmth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eConstruction Details:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a functional front pouch pocket, matching flat drawstrings, a structured 3-panel hood, and a premium self-fabric patch on the back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Who: Hostile Athletics by Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCucumber Dog is the definitive North American distributor of British corporate hostility. The Hostile Athletics collection specifically subverts traditional sports and collegiate wear, providing high-quality varsity aesthetics for individuals who actively avoid physical exertion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCrucial Fit Guidance\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePlease note that this specific silhouette features a tailored, modern cut. To achieve the perfect relaxed drape, we strongly advise selecting one full size larger than your standard measurement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eShipping and Corporate Policy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo maintain our stringent quality control and streamlined logistics, we offer fulfilment exclusively to the USA and Canada. All orders over $60 qualify for free shipping. Because our premium apparel is manufactured via a sustainable made-to-order process, we operate a strict returns policy. We only accept returns or exchanges for items that arrive damaged or defective. We absolutely do not process refunds for a change of mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Cosy \/ Colours \/ Centre \/ Behaviour \/ Fulfilment \/ Colour\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Cozy \/ Colors \/ Center \/ Behavior \/ Fulfillment \/ Color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":55480359223638,"sku":"9542719_20284","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55480359256406,"sku":"9542719_20285","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55480359289174,"sku":"9542719_20286","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55480359321942,"sku":"9542719_20287","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55480359354710,"sku":"9542719_20288","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-premium-pullover-hoodie-bone-front-6ab5202abe374.jpg?v=1790255172"},{"product_id":"new-york-bumping-into-you-hoodie","title":"New York Bumping Into You Hoodie","description":"Who knew that the softest hoodie you'll ever own comes with such a cool design. You won't regret buying this classic streetwear piece of apparel with a convenient pouch pocket and warm hood for chilly evenings.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% cotton face\u003cbr\u003e\n• 65% ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester\u003cbr\u003e\n• Front pouch pocket\u003cbr\u003e\n• Self-fabric patch on the back\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching flat drawstrings\u003cbr\u003e\n• 3-panel hood\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Pakistan\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: This hoodie runs small. For the perfect fit, we recommend ordering one size larger than your usual size.","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":55481168789846,"sku":"8955887_11481","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55481168822614,"sku":"8955887_11482","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55481168855382,"sku":"8955887_11483","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55481168888150,"sku":"8955887_11484","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55481168920918,"sku":"8955887_11485","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-premium-pullover-hoodie-charcoal-heather-front-6ab5325f48397.jpg?v=1790259845"},{"product_id":"los-angeles-well-text-you-we-wont-hoodie","title":"Los Angeles We'll Text You. We Won't  Hoodie","description":"Who knew that the softest hoodie you'll ever own comes with such a cool design. You won't regret buying this classic streetwear piece of apparel with a convenient pouch pocket and warm hood for chilly evenings.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% cotton face\u003cbr\u003e\n• 65% ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester\u003cbr\u003e\n• Front pouch pocket\u003cbr\u003e\n• Self-fabric patch on the back\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching flat drawstrings\u003cbr\u003e\n• 3-panel hood\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Pakistan\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: This hoodie runs small. For the perfect fit, we recommend ordering one size larger than your usual size.","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":55481354977622,"sku":"8958305_24999","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55481355010390,"sku":"8958305_25000","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55481355043158,"sku":"8958305_25001","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55481355075926,"sku":"8958305_25002","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55481355108694,"sku":"8958305_25003","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-premium-pullover-hoodie-team-gold-front-6ab534d2e0e24.jpg?v=1790260457"}],"url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/hostile-athletics.oembed","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}