{"title":"FUNNY RUDE MUGS \u0026 SARCASTIC NOVELTY COFFEE CUPS","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ccode data-index-in-node=\"78\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003c\/code\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10,0\"\u003eThe Ceramic Hall of Disdain\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1\"\u003eI have deigned to approve this specific assortment of vessels for your morning caffeine requirements. While I personally find your reliance on stimulants a sign of weak character, I recognise that if you must drink coffee, you should do so while making everyone else in the room feel slightly inferior.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2\"\u003eEach mug in this collection features a meticulously curated insult, a literal interpretation of your questionable 80s music, or a blunt admission of your own mediocrity. Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic and printed with extreme precision, these are not your average supermarket-tier mugs. These are professional-grade tools for social disruption.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3\"\u003eWhether you are looking for the perfect \"rude gift\" to ruin a family gathering or a new way to ensure nobody talks to you at the office, you will find it here. Proceed with caution: these designs are known to cause gasps, eye-rolls, and the occasional HR meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"stirred-with-my-balls-white-mug","title":"\"Stirred By My Balls\" Funny Explorer Mug | Rude Novelty Gift","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Message from the Chairman: Adventure and Poor Hygiene\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIt has come to my attention that some of you fancy yourselves as \"outdoorsy\" types. While Sir Cucumber Dog prefers his adventures to involve nothing more strenuous than choosing between a velvet or silk cushion, he recognises that the common human enjoys pretending to be a rugged explorer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features a detailed, comic-style illustration of a man who looks like he has spent far too long in the jungle and far too little time near a bathroom. With a striking yellow speech bubble and authentic halftone dot patterns, it delivers a punchline that is as uncouth as it is effective: \"THIS DRINK WAS STIRRED BY MY... BALLS. ENJOY!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eIt is a blatant violation of health and safety standards, a social catastrophe in the making, and exactly the kind of distasteful humour that keeps life interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This (The Rationale)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e If you are tired of colleagues asking to \"borrow\" your tea or \"have a sip\" of your coffee, this vessel provides the perfect solution. One look at the adventurer’s weary eyes and the horrifying confession in the speech bubble will ensure your drink remains strictly your own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Visual Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e The contrast between the sophisticated, grayscale sketch and the vibrant pop of yellow creates a visual \"scroll-stopping\" effect. It is a piece of art that just happens to be incredibly offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Masterclass in the \"Long Pause\":\u003c\/b\u003e The use of the ellipsis in the text creates a moment of suspense before delivering a blow to the viewer's appetite. It is a brilliant piece of cheeky social commentary on the hidden \"ingredients\" of life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality for Primitive Humour:\u003c\/b\u003e While the message is questionable, the craftsmanship is not. This mug is made from high-gloss white ceramic, engineered to ensure the black ink and yellow speech bubble remain crisp through every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Meticulous\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVessel Sizes:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"38\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for your morning ritual or a generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"81\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those who need a substantial amount of caffeine to deal with their peers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy white ceramic for a professional look and a substantial feel in the hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eResilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is designed to resist fading, even if you try to scrub the mental image of the message away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e BPA-free and lead-free. We care about your health, even if the man on the mug clearly doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is This For? (The Victims)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Office Prankster:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who believes that \"lowering the tone\" is a professional responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Rugged\" Outdoors man:\u003c\/b\u003e A hilarious gift for the friend who owns a lot of khaki and hats but mostly uses them to walk the dog in the park.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Hard-to-Buy-For Brother:\u003c\/b\u003e If you need a birthday or Secret Santa gift that will cause an immediate family scandal, your search ends here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFans of the Absurd:\u003c\/b\u003e For anyone who appreciates a vintage comic aesthetic paired with a joke that is fundamentally \"too much information.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51532923208022,"sku":"9143870_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51532923240790,"sku":"9143870_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e8f1c5b312e.jpg?v=1777475359"},{"product_id":"i-dont-fart-darling-white-mug","title":"I Don't Fart Darling White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51534061404502,"sku":"7840249_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51534061437270,"sku":"7840249_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e90a400578b.jpg?v=1777640338"},{"product_id":"busier-than-a-cucumber-in-a-womans-prison-white-mug","title":"Busier Than A Cucumber In A Woman's prison White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51539729973590,"sku":"3391464_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51539730006358,"sku":"3391464_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68f8fab3c5b80-_1.jpg?v=1762771418"},{"product_id":"my-favourite-word-is-moist-white-mug","title":"\"My Favourite Word is Moist\" Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Linguistic Weapon of Mass Irritation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed that the human race possesses a peculiar, collective loathing for a specific six-letter word. While he, being a cucumber-based entity, finds the concept of \"moisture\" to be a sign of peak freshness, he recognizes that for you lot, it is the verbal equivalent of a damp handshake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eNaturally, he has decided to put it on a mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on with his usual aristocratic disdain as you watch your colleagues visibly shudder. The bold text proudly declares your preference for the most hated word in the English language. It is the perfect choice for the office antagonist, the professional pot-stirrer, or anyone who enjoys the silence that follows a truly uncomfortable statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Audit: Offensive Rating\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOffensive Rating:\u003c\/b\u003e 4\/5\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Quote:\u003c\/b\u003e \"Visceral. Unpleasant. A linguistic crime against humanity. Sir Cucumber Dog is delighted by the discomfort this will cause.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaximum Cringe Factor:\u003c\/b\u003e Most rude mugs use profanity: this mug uses psychological warfare. It is far more effective at clearing a room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vault Exclusive:\u003c\/b\u003e As part of our NSFW range, this is designed for those who have abandoned all hope of being liked and have chosen to be memorable instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"73\"\u003eCucumber green\u003c\/b\u003e accents stay vibrant while you ruin everyone’s morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s scowl and that dreaded word are engineered to resist fading, much like the memory of your poor social choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for when you have a lot of moisture to celebrate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a high-definition, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your physical health while you damage your social standing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51541216133462,"sku":"9160027_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51541216166230,"sku":"9160027_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e79cd9b7ab3.jpg?v=1776793781"},{"product_id":"anal-applause-white-mug","title":"Anal Applause White Mug","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Standing Ovation for the Audibly Offensive\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eIt has come to the Chairman’s attention that certain rhythmic, biological acoustics are a source of pride for some of you. While Sir Cucumber Dog finds the mechanics of the human digestive system entirely vulgar, he cannot help but admire a human who seeks a founding membership for it. This premium ceramic mug officially welcomes you to the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"343\"\u003eAnal Applause Appreciation Society\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eDesigned for those who have abandoned all hope of social acceptance, this vessel features a sophisticated \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"106\"\u003eCucumber cream\u003c\/b\u003e background. The design is anchored by a regal, ornate green banner with gold-style detailing, providing a level of Victorian elegance that makes the phrase \"Anal Applause\" look surprisingly high-class. Centre stage is Sir Cucumber Dog himself: dressed in his signature cucumber-print suit and monocle, wearing an expression of intense, aristocratic disdain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Social Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Bringing this into a professional environment is a definitive power move. It ensures that no one will ever ask you to lead a \"wellness seminar\" or volunteer for the office tea round again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e We do not trade in flimsy kitchenware. This is crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the Cucumber green banner and yellow bow tie remain crisp and vibrant through every use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eResistant to Shame and Detergent:\u003c\/b\u003e Built to handle the heat of a Monday morning or the late-night tea rounds, this mug is fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is engineered to resist fading, even if you try to wash away the mental image.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Unfiltered\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11oz Standard:\u003c\/b\u003e The classic choice for a quick hit of caffeine or a modest tea. Perfect for those who prefer their insults concentrated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15oz Mega:\u003c\/b\u003e For those who require a substantial amount of liquid to cope with their social isolation. More mug means more room for judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy white ceramic with a full-wrap Cucumber cream finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely BPA-free and lead-free. Sir Cucumber Dog cares about your health, even if you clearly do not care about your reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51647140200790,"sku":"5894601_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51647140233558,"sku":"5894601_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7650611e18.jpg?v=1776772791"},{"product_id":"i-dont-like-you-white-mug","title":"Cucumber Dog \"I Don't Like You\" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHonesty is the best policy. Usually.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eSome mornings, you just need to let the world know exactly where they stand before you’ve even finished your first coffee. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"128\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e mug features the iconic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"165\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e in his signature green suit, delivering the blunt, sarcastic message that everyone else is thinking, but only you (and the pug) are brave enough to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eWhether it’s for the office, the kitchen, or as a gift for that one person who appreciates a bit of \"rude and funny\" humor, this mug is the ultimate conversation starter (or finisher).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eWhy it’s better than your average mug:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Approved:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality print featuring the most judgmental pug in the business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Two Moods:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"49\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for a quick caffeine hit, or a massive \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"94\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those days when \"I don't like you\" needs to last all morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Real Life:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"60\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e doesn't expect you to do the washing up by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafe for Humans:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free ceramic, ensuring your sarcasm remains the only toxic thing in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eCrafted to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eAt \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"3\"\u003eCucumber Dog\u003c\/b\u003e, we don’t believe in dusty warehouses. Your mug is created specifically for you the moment you order it. This reduces waste and ensures your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"157\"\u003efunny pug gift\u003c\/b\u003e arrives fresh and ready to offend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping.\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog covers the delivery costs on every single order. No hidden fees, just zero bullsh*t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":52779887427926,"sku":"6741091_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aec12f6e722.jpg?v=1776700214"},{"product_id":"i-did-debbie-in-dallas-mug-funny-retro-sarcastic-gift","title":"I Did Debbie in Dallas Mug | Funny Retro Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"font-family: sans-serif; color: #1a1a1a; background-color: #fafdf5; padding: 20px; border: 1px solid #d4eec7; border-radius: 8px;\"\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"One can only assume the HR department is already drafting your warning letter,\" notes Sir Cucumber Dog, polishing his cucumber monocle.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eReady for a retro gift that packs a punchline? This naughty \"I Did Debbie in Dallas\" mug is the ultimate conversation starter for anyone with a wicked sense of humour. Designed for those who appreciate a cheeky wink at 1978 pop culture, this funny retro mug is guaranteed to cause a stir during the morning meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eA Bold Dose of Nostalgia (and Judgement)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you are sipping morning coffee or a cheeky afternoon tea, this mug brings a splash of 70s swagger to your desk. The vibrant, full-wrap illustration features a winking cheerleader and the iconic Dallas skyline, complete with the playful disclaimer: \"It is not what you think!\" Sir Cucumber Dog assures you, it is exactly what they think. It is the perfect inappropriate gift for a friend or a legendary work Secret Santa present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Chief Judgement Officer's Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted for a sturdy feel, capable of surviving the dishwasher after you hastily hide it from the boss.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm in height and 8.2 cm in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e15oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm in height and 8.5 cm in diameter (for those who need more caffeine to handle the judgement).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eModern Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully safe for use in the microwave and dishwasher. Entirely free from lead and BPA.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eFunny gifts for him or her for milestone birthdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eA legendary office prank that will not be forgotten anytime soon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves 1970s nostalgia and rude adult humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDelivery Information\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree UK shipping is included on all orders. Because we use premium print-on-demand technology, each piece is crafted to order specifically for you. Please allow a few extra days for us to print your design and get it dispatched directly to your door!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53091844522326,"sku":"5213761_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53091844555094,"sku":"5213761_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Tilted_white_ceramic_mug_on_a_light_beige_surface_featuring_a_retro_Dallas_cheerleader_illustration_and_the_funny_quote_I_DID_DEBBIE_IN_DALLAS_Cucumber_Dog.png?v=1776351987"},{"product_id":"the-im-a-wet-fart-mug","title":"The Ultimate Badge of Mediocrity: The \"Wet Fart\" Edition Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIt is a rare thing for a human to possess the self-awareness to admit they are an absolute damp squib. While Sir Cucumber Dog generally expects perfection, he finds this level of brutal honesty almost tolerable. This mug is the ultimate badge of honour for those days when you are definitely not \"crushing it.\" In fact, you are not even making a dent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design features a high end \"Cucumber cream\" label wrap, framed by detailed \"Cucumber green\" borders and an intricate ornate divider. The phrase \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003e\"I’M THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A WET FART\"\u003c\/b\u003e is rendered in bold, vintage-inspired typography, perfectly balanced by the sophisticated subtitle: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"325\"\u003e\"EDITION OF ONE.\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a juxtaposition of refined, aristocratic aesthetics and the kind of low-brow humour that makes the Chairman tilt his head in silent judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality for the Walking Anticlimax\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog refuses to put his name on anything flimsy. Even if you feel like a disappointment, your mug should not be one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e The design is printed on both sides, ensuring your lack of potential is visible to everyone in the room, whether you are a leftie or a rightie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Finish:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly crafted to ensure the Cucumber green and cream colours remain sharp, vibrant, and entirely resistant to fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStrategic Lowered Expectations:\u003c\/b\u003e Carry this into a meeting to ensure nobody asks you for anything important. It is a brilliant tool for avoiding responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLow Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. Because let us be honest, you likely do not have the energy for hand-washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Self-Aware\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to survive the morning or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are functional, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A robust, high-gloss white ceramic build that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your badge of mediocrity arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the Chairman’s designs reach you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e mediocre friend with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"63\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"80\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"102\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of our collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"142\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against high expectations and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"190\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily failure. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"233\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of self-deprecation is sure to be a hit in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"288\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e or office breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53114479509846,"sku":"9331373_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53114479542614,"sku":"9331373_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Funny_white_ceramic_mug_tilted_featuring_a_beige_label_with_the_rude_quote_I_m_the_human_equivalent_of_a_wet_fart..png?v=1776351308"},{"product_id":"cum-on-eileen-retro-pop-art-mug","title":"The Literal Anthem: The \"Come On Eileen\" Scandalous Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has noted that humans spent a significant portion of the 1980s shouting this specific lyric at each other in crowded rooms. While the Chairman finds your choice of \"anthems\" loud and fundamentally unnecessary, he does appreciate a literal interpretation that makes everyone in the immediate vicinity profoundly uncomfortable. This is not just a mug: it is a visual representation of your refusal to be polite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design is a high-definition piece of scandalous kitchenware. It captures the exact moment a misheard lyric becomes a social catastrophe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Literalism\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a meticulous 1950s-inspired pop-art wrap, this design brings a touch of vintage flair to a modern-day ruin of a classic track.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional-Grade Judgement:\u003c\/b\u003e The visual features halftone dot patterns and bold comic outlines. It captures the perfect, horrified expression of the recipient with a distinct \"EWWW!\" speech bubble against a vintage pink backdrop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Conversation Stopper:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are an 80s music fan with a warped sense of humour or simply someone who enjoys making people do a double-take at the kettle, this design delivers every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the colours stay vibrant and the typography remains crisp. It is a sturdy vessel that feels as substantial as the insults it provides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEveryday Resilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The high-definition print is engineered to resist fading, even after countless wash cycles have attempted to scrub away the scandal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Pot-Stirrer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard caffeine hit or a massive bucket of tea to fuel your next office prank, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% white glossy ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your scandalous delivery arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the guide reaches you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e 80s fan with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"83\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"105\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any kitchen collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"153\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring coffee breaks and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"204\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily brew. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"244\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of literal humor is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"285\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"308\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53145511723350,"sku":"3327894_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53145511756118,"sku":"3327894_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Cucumber_dog_Cum_On_Eileen_Rude_Funny_Mug.jpg?v=1777037869"},{"product_id":"surviving-funny-work-mug","title":"\"Surviving Is An Achievement\" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eYou desperately need this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efunny work mug\u003c\/b\u003e to survive the daily grind. Sir Cucumber Dog has audited your societal contributions. Our esteemed plush toy pug Chairman wore his bespoke suit. The suit features a green cucumber-print and yellow bow tie. Sitting upon his bare minimum cushions, his findings are underwhelming. Other cups might offer basic motivation for the office. The Chairman prefers a strictly realistic approach. He adjusts his cucumber monocle and waves his star wand. He concludes that simply remaining upright is your primary accomplishment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is a tribute to your low bar. It features the biting decree, \"SURVIVING IS AN ACHIEVEMENT I GUESS.\" It also adds, \"IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE DONE ANYTHING ELSE.\" Sir Cucumber Dog silently judges your total lack of ambition. A depressing sloth in a party hat celebrates your mediocrity. It is the perfect \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"327\"\u003efunny work mug\u003c\/b\u003e for the mid-afternoon slump.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Funny Work Mug\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite British Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Finally, a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"34\"\u003erude mug\u003c\/b\u003e that speaks your truth. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"86\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e Rendered in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. It features elegant botanical flourishes for a posh look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% high-gloss white ceramic. It boasts a high-definition, long-lasting print. It is the best vessel for holding your tea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Outlast Motivation:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s judgemental scowl resists fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGenerous Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz. You will need extra volume to cope with existing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free for your peace of mind. We care deeply about your physical health. We have completely given up on your career prospects.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eGlobal Logistics and Local Care\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog personally oversees the distribution network. Your new \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"72\"\u003erude mug\u003c\/b\u003e arrives with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally. This drastically reduces the carbon footprint. Your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"97\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e arrives without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree Global Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e We proudly offer Free UK and US Shipping. The delivery cost is beneath the Chairman's dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every item is created specifically for you. We avoid unnecessary waste in a crowded world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs this funny work mug dishwasher safe?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes. This premium ceramic vessel is fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The high-definition print resists fading completely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this item designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e It makes a brilliant gift for chronically uninspired friends. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"112\"\u003emug for a colleague\u003c\/b\u003e who simply exists.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhere does my order ship from?\u003c\/b\u003e We print and ship locally to your specific country. This guarantees swift delivery and a drastically reduced carbon footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Surviving Funny Work Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/surviving-work-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Acknowledge the daily corporate grind with the Surviving Funny Work Mug. A premium, high quality ceramic coffee cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, perfect for exhausted employees.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-SURVIVING-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/surviving-funny-work-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53199056535894,"sku":"9179642_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53199056568662,"sku":"9179642_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Cucumber_Dog_Surviving_is_an_Achievement_funny_mug.jpg?v=1777037691"},{"product_id":"still-utterly-useless-birthday-mug-sir-cucumber-dog","title":"\"Still Utterly Useless\" Birthday Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAn Annual Audit of Your Personal Failure\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has reviewed your performance over the last 365 days, and the results are predictably dismal. While others might offer platitudes about \"getting better with age,\" the Chairman prefers to focus on the reality of your situation: you have successfully aged without becoming any more useful to the world at large.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel is the most sophisticated way to acknowledge a friend or family member's total lack of progress. Featuring the biting decree: \"ANOTHER YEAR... STILL UTTERLY USELESS.\", it is the perfect gift for birthdays, work anniversaries, or any milestone where honesty is preferred over politeness. Sir Cucumber Dog looks on from his Cucumber cream background, his monocle firmly in place as he judges your stagnant lifestyle.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite British Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e Most \"getting older\" mugs are tacky. This one is posh, using our signature Cucumber green and vibrant yellow to make the insult look like an official announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anti-Birthday Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for the person who hates the fuss of birthdays, or for the sibling you love to remind of their place in the family hierarchy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Aesthetic:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is rendered in his meticulously tailored cucumber-print suit, ensuring that even a devastating insult looks remarkably premium.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Outlast Your Youth:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s judgmental scowl and your grim prognosis are engineered to resist fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Material:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% High-Gloss Ceramic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who need more volume to cope with their mediocrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely lead and BPA-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe for long-term use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBritish Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed with a focus on British English and the biting sense of humour found only in the best UK households.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e person with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"82\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"104\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any birthday celebration. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"154\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring, sentimental gifts and provides much-needed \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e for the office. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"250\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of personal failure is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"294\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"317\"\u003eneighborhood.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18\" data-index-in-node=\"317\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n                                \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Still Utterly Useless Birthday Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/still-utterly-useless-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Celebrate another year of zero progress. 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Some people climb it with grace, while others simply trip on the bottom rung and find themselves accidentally propelled into management. If you or a colleague have successfully risen to the absolute peak of your inability, this is the commemorative ceramic you deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eBased on the legendary Peter Principle, this design is a stunning monument to corporate failure. It is the perfect gift for the newly promoted boss who has no idea what they are doing, or for the seasoned veteran who has been winging it since 1994.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Career Satire\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing Sir Cucumber Dog in his most regal and disappointed state, this mug brings a touch of high end disdain to every meeting. Set within an ornate gold frame, the Chairman observes your inevitable downfall with the quiet patience of a pug who knows you are just one spreadsheet away from a total meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Peter Principle in Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A daily reminder that you have finally reached the level where you are no longer useful. It is a liberating realization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eImperial Aesthetics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a much needed anchor of sophistication for your messy desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Strategic Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Secret Santa, office leaving dos, or simply as a \"Congratulations\" to the person who just failed upwards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFree UK Shipping:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously covered the delivery cost. We will get this tribute to your incompetence to your doorstep without any unnecessary faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Overwhelmed Manager\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to calm your nerves or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are productive, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. It is built to last longer than your current job security.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is printed on demand. This reduces waste and ensures we aren't overproducing items that the Chairman would only have to judge later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e boss, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"82\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any office gift exchange. 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This mug is not a toy; it is a declaration of linguistic authority. Designed for those who believe that \"simplified\" is just a polite word for \"lazy,\" this piece serves as a daily reminder to maintain standards in a world that has clearly let itself go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eSet against a bold Union Jack backdrop, the Chairman sits in his velvet armchair, flanked by the flags of both the mainland and the former colonies. His expression is one of profound disappointment as he delivers a message that every American needs to hear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Triumph of British Superiority\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a regal scroll design entwined with cucumber vines, this mug brings a touch of aristocratic authority to your kitchen. We have specifically included the \"simplified\" versions to ensure our friends across the pond understand exactly what they are missing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vowel Restoration Project:\u003c\/b\u003e Boldly lists the correct spellings of \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"69\"\u003eColour\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003eHonour\u003c\/b\u003e, and \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"89\"\u003eBehaviour\u003c\/b\u003e to remind everyone that three little letters make a world of difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe American Translation:\u003c\/b\u003e For those used to seeing words \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003ewithout the u\u003c\/b\u003e, like \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"84\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"91\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, or \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"104\"\u003eflavor\u003c\/b\u003e, consider this your official linguistic upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Imperial Stare:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog is featured in his bespoke cucumber print suit and monocle, providing a constant reminder of the high standards you are expected to uphold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect \"Expat\" Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for Brits living in the USA who are tired of their spellcheck constantly undermining them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Sophisticated Scholar\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 3.8 inches (9.6 cm) in height and 3.2 inches (8.2 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 4.7 inches (11.9 cm) in height and 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from high quality white ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. Built to survive the heat of a Transatlantic argument.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThoughtful Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is created specifically for you the moment you buy it. This avoids unnecessary waste and ensures we aren't overproducing items for a world that can't even spell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Generosity:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has graciously decided that the delivery cost is beneath him. We offer \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"107\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on every order, ensuring this piece of education reaches your door with zero extra faff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIf you are looking for a funny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e mug to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"44\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e American friend, look no further. Even if you prefer the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"121\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e of a simplified dictionary, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"163\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e ceramic cup is the best \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"195\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring office gifts. It is the ultimate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"251\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e for linguistic restoration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Linguistic Ultimatum: The 'U' Matters Ceramic Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/the-linguistic-ultimatum-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Defend proper British spelling with The Linguistic Ultimatum mug. A funny, high quality ceramic cup reminding everyone that the letter 'U' in words like 'colour' actually matters.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-LINGUISTIC-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/the-linguistic-ultimatum-the-u-matters-ceramic-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53270927114582,"sku":"3762695_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53270927147350,"sku":"3762695_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_white_ceramic_mug_with_a_Union_Jack_background._Sir_Cucumber_Dog_sits_in_an_armchair_between_a_UK_and_US_flag._Text_on_a_scroll_reads_Colour_Honour_Behaviour._It_is_NOT_THAT_HARD_AM.jpg?v=1777111777"},{"product_id":"underwater-kite-flying-association-funny-mug","title":"The Underwater Kite Flying Association Office Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has observed your daily routine and concluded that it closely resembles the plight of the vintage diver on this premium ceramic vessel. You wake up, put on a heavy suit of professional expectations, and attempt to achieve the impossible in an environment that is actively working against you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the official mug of The Underwater Kite Flying Association. Established in 1983 and proudly boasting absolutely zero progress. This is the ultimate desktop companion for middle management, beleaguered creatives, and anyone who understands the profound futility of modern employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Absolute Futility\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not simply sell vessels for hot water. We provide deeply relatable coping mechanisms designed to filter out the overly enthusiastic and attract those who appreciate a good dose of reality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunningly detailed illustration of a diver attempting to fly a vibrant diamond kite beneath the waves. It perfectly encapsulates the feeling of your average Tuesday afternoon status update.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose between a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"49\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for your morning dose of apathy, or a substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"110\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e vessel for those gruelling days that require heavy liquid reinforcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Clear Value Proposition:\u003c\/b\u003e Why buy a boring, generic mug when you can own a conversation piece that actively lowers expectations? It answers the age old question of what to do when you are handed an impossible task.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the crushing pressure of corporate deadlines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long day of achieving absolutely nothing, manually washing a cup is an insult to your remaining energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Place it firmly on your desk to let your colleagues know that any new projects they assign will be met with the exact same level of success as underwater aerodynamics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your lack of productivity, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"84\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"123\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against bosses who demand high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"162\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e standards and constant progress in your corporate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"221\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. Pour your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"245\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e coffee into the 11 oz or 15 oz size, admire the vibrant \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"310\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the diver, and enjoy the absurdity like you are watching a comedy at the local \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"398\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53490379293014,"sku":"9671614_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53490379325782,"sku":"9671614_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/The_Underwater_Kite_Flying_Association_Office_Mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1778082764"},{"product_id":"nocturnal-sunbathing-union-funny-mug","title":"The Nocturnal Sunbathing Union Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman has observed the incredibly fragile constitution of certain individuals when exposed to even a mild ray of sunshine. For the pale, the ginger, and the chronically indoor oriented, the sun is not a source of joy; it is a deadly laser.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the official mug of the Nocturnal Sunbathing Union. This premium ceramic vessel is the ultimate desk accessory for anyone who views a sunny day as a personal threat and firmly believes that Factor 100 sun cream is merely a starting point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Absolute Avoidance\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not simply sell drink ware. We provide highly relatable coping mechanisms designed to filter out annoyingly enthusiastic sun worshippers and attract those who appreciate the safety of the shadows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a brilliantly detailed illustration of a ginger man lounging on a deckchair under a crescent moon, proudly clutching his Factor 100 sun cream. The motto \"The Shade is Real\" frames the bottom, perfectly encapsulating your avoidance strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"47\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for a quick dose of morning caffeine, or a substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"112\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for those who require extra hydration after actively dodging the daylight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the crushing social pressure to \"go outside and enjoy the weather.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long night of nocturnal sunbathing, manually washing a cup is an insult to your energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order, ensuring your new vessel arrives freshly made and completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat makes these funny ginger mugs the best gift for the sun-averse?\u003c\/b\u003e Our Nocturnal Sunbathing Union design is the ultimate badge of honor for those who fear the daylight. It features a detailed illustration of a ginger man enjoying the moonlit shade. It is the perfect way to signal your membership in the league of the chronically indoor-oriented.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the \"The Shade is Real\" artwork durable?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it is. We use a high quality bespoke printing process to ensure the design remains crisp and vibrant. Whether you are drinking scalding hot tea or ice-cold water while hiding from the sun, the artwork will not peel or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCan I put this premium ceramic vessel in the dishwasher?\u003c\/b\u003e Absolutely. After a long night of nocturnal sunbathing, we know you lack the energy for manual labor. This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. It is designed to withstand high temperatures and social isolation with ease.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat sizes are available for this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e We offer two substantial options. Choose the 11 oz size for a quick caffeine hit. Or, select the 15 oz vessel if you require extra hydration to recover from the crushing social pressure of \"going outside.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your pale complexion, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"79\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"118\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"149\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly sunny \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"187\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The rich \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"206\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the night sky graphic shows you take your shade seriously. Make sure your sunblock is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"309\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"356\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"407\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Nocturnal Sunbathing Union Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/nocturnal-sunbathing-union-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"The exact ceramic vessel required to help the indoorsy and the easily sunburnt find peace. A funny, high quality mug perfect for night owls and introverts.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-NOCTURNAL-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/nocturnal-sunbathing-union-funny-mug?variant=53490540249430\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53490540249430,"sku":"9406992_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53490540282198,"sku":"9406992_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_circular_illustration_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_a_ginger_man_in_sunglasses_lounging_on_a_deckchair_at_night._He_is_holding_Factor_100_sun_cream_under_a_crescent_moon._Text_reads_No.jpg?v=1778084227"},{"product_id":"if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-funny-mug","title":"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug | 11oz \u0026 15oz","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman respects the feline community for one specific reason: their absolute, unwavering dedication to apathy. Humans foolishly believe their pets care about their annual milestones. This premium ceramic vessel shatters that delusion with spectacular accuracy, providing the perfect sarcastic gift for the realist in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards... They Wouldn't\" mug. It serves as the ultimate truth bomb for any cat enthusiast and a stark reminder of your actual place in the household hierarchy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Feline Apathy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drink ware. We provide highly relatable reality checks disguised as premium office accessories, designed specifically to filter out the overly sentimental.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Defeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features The Chairman sitting in quiet solidarity alongside a deeply unbothered ginger feline, complete with a completely unsent paw print greeting card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e11 oz\u003c\/b\u003e size for a quick morning brew, or the substantial \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"99\"\u003e15 oz\u003c\/b\u003e vessel for drowning your sorrows when your cat ignores you all day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high quality finish to withstand both scalding hot tea and the icy chill of a feline's rejection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Because manually washing a cup requires far too much effort, much like writing a birthday card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order, ensuring your new vessel arrives freshly made and completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your cat's absolute lack of interest in your life, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"108\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your kitchen. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"150\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"181\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly affectionate \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"226\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e towards their pets. The rich cream \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"270\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the design shows you take your realism seriously. Make sure your coffee is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"362\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"409\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"460\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Embrace the cold truth with the If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards mug. A funny, high quality ceramic mug perfect for cat lovers and birthday cynics alike.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-CATCARD-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-funny-mug?variant=53502516658518\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53502516658518,"sku":"2277427_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53502516691286,"sku":"2277427_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_sitting_next_to_a_ginger_cat_and_a_small_table._Text_reads_If_Cats_could_Send_Birthday_Cards..._THEY_WOULDN_T..jpg?v=1778147481"},{"product_id":"morning-pug-accino-funny-coffee-mug","title":"Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIf you are looking for funny pug mugs, you have found the absolute best option right here. Sir Cucumber Dog is fundamentally opposed to mornings. He requires a massive dose of caffeine to function. This stops him from hating the sheer existence of the general public. Your daily routine might involve aggressive sighing. You might avoid eye contact until your coffee is finished. If so, this premium ceramic vessel is your new official uniform. It makes the absolute perfect pug gift for miserable people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eWhy These Funny Pug Mugs Are Essential\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eWe do not simply sell standard drinkware. We provide highly relatable coping mechanisms for your desk. These mugs act as a physical barrier against overly cheerful morning people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003eDefeatist Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features Sir Cucumber Dog physically bathing in a frothy cappuccino. He is proudly wearing his signature cucumber monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003eDual Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for your initial espresso. Or pick the 15 oz vessel for terrible mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003ePremium Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands scalding hot coffee and crushing early morning alarms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003eEffortless Care:\u003c\/b\u003e This vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand whilst half asleep is highly insulting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Every piece is proudly printed to order. Your mug arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eWhat sizes are available for these funny pug mugs?\u003c\/b\u003e The Morning Pug-accino design comes in two sizes. Choose a standard 11 oz size for a quick fix. Or select the large 15 oz size for difficult mornings. Both sizes feature Sir Cucumber Dog prominently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIs this coffee cup safe for the dishwasher?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. Washing cups by hand while half awake is a terrible idea. This premium ceramic vessel is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. It ensures completely effortless cleaning every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eHow is the artwork applied to the ceramic?\u003c\/b\u003e We use a high quality printing process via Printful. This ensures the detailed illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog will not peel or fade. His signature cucumber monocle will remain perfectly intact through many washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWhat colours are featured in the artwork?\u003c\/b\u003e The design proudly features our signature brand colours. You will see vibrant cucumber green and smooth cucumber cream. These tones contrast beautifully with the rich brown of the frothy cappuccino.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003ci data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"15\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your morning coffee ritual, this mug must be the \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"70\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a brilliant \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"109\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against cheerful \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"134\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e from anyone in your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"163\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. The rich brown \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"192\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the text is perfectly \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"223\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e to match your morning brew. Whether you are commuting to the local movie \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"304\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e or just working from home, this will undoubtedly be your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"369\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new cup!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n  \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/morning-pug-accino-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Start your day with the Morning Pug-accino mug. A funny, premium ceramic coffee cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog. 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Sir Cucumber Dog firmly believes that honesty is the best policy. However, dealing with insufferable members of the general public requires tact. A touch of polite preamble makes the final verdict much sweeter. If a colleague requires a formal reality check, this ceramic vessel is perfect. It serves as the ultimate gavel of justice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the Kindly Pardon My Arrogance mug. It is the absolute pinnacle of British insults. It is perfectly disguised as a sophisticated desktop accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Formal Judgement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIn the modern era of gifting, we do not simply sell drinkware. We provide highly formal declarations of disdain. These \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"119\"\u003eoffensive pug mugs\u003c\/b\u003e are for people who desperately need a reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Offensive Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a stunning illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog holding court. He wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie. He sits within an ornate wooden crest with decorative cucumbers. A gold seal delivers the final glorious verdict: TWAT!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz size for a swift insult over morning tea. Or select the substantial 15 oz vessel for a larger reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth and high quality ceramic finish. It withstands hot coffee and the shocked gasps of your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e This mug is fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Washing a cup by hand after a flawless insult is entirely beneath your dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Production:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly printed to order using a high quality bespoke process. Your new vessel arrives completely free of vulgar warehouse dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho is this offensive pug mug designed for?\u003c\/b\u003e This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, it absolutely is. The word \"TWAT\" is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhat colours are used in this specific design?\u003c\/b\u003e The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. Sir Cucumber Dog wears his signature cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"FAQPage\",\n  \"mainEntity\": [\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Who is this offensive pug mug designed for?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"This design is strictly for people with a dark sense of humour. It makes the perfect gift for dealing with highly annoying colleagues or friends.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is the swear word clearly visible on the cup?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yes, it absolutely is. The word 'TWAT' is proudly displayed within a gold seal. Please consider your workplace rules before using it openly.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is the artwork safe to put in the microwave?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yes, this premium ceramic vessel is completely microwave safe. It is also fully dishwasher safe for entirely effortless cleaning.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"What colours are used in this specific design?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"The artwork features rich wooden tones and gold accents. 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A premium, funny ceramic cup featuring Sir Cucumber Dog delivering a harsh verdict.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-ARROGANCE-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-funny-mug?variant=53504457441622\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53504457441622,"sku":"6104341_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53504457474390,"sku":"6104341_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_inside_an_ornate_wooden_crest._Below_him_is_a_judge_s_gavel_and_a_gold_seal._Text_reads_KINDLY_PARDON_MY_ARROGANCE_BUT..._Y.jpg?v=1778159583"},{"product_id":"indoor-hang-gliding-club-funny-mug","title":"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club Funny Aviator Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman recognises that outdoor activities are fraught with unnecessary risks, unpredictable weather, and worst of all, other people. Why brave the elements and risk physical exertion when you can experience the absolute pinnacle of extreme sports from the safety of your own lounge?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting \"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club\" mug. It is a premium ceramic vessel designed for the chronic introvert, the dedicated homebody, and anyone whose idea of a thrilling adventure involves turning the ceiling fan up to the highest setting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAviation for the Indoorsy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject the modern obsession with fresh air and adrenaline. This vessel combines a beautiful vintage aesthetic with a celebration of absolute laziness, perfectly crafted to establish your commitment to staying inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eShowcase your dedication to indoor extreme sports\u003c\/b\u003e with a beautifully detailed vintage emblem featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his finest tweed aviator gear and signature yellow bow tie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMarvel at the magnificent engineering\u003c\/b\u003e of a hang glider safely tethered to a standard ceiling fan, complete with a potted plant and windsock for accurate indoor weather readings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSustain your energy levels through rigorous lounging sessions\u003c\/b\u003e with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eKeep your membership badge in pristine condition\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a highly durable white ceramic build that is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy a permanently vibrant illustration\u003c\/b\u003e that will never scratch or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke sublimation process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Extreme Laziness\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you use this funny novelty mug to its full potential? Our expert survival advice is simple. When an overly energetic friend suggests a weekend hiking trip, a marathon, or any activity that requires leaving the house, simply raise this mug to your lips. Maintain eye contact while taking a slow sip. It silently communicates that your schedule is already entirely booked with ceiling fan aviation and avoiding the general public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eIt is the definitive gift for lazy coworkers, exhausted introverts, or any friend who considers walking to the fridge a sufficient daily workout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Vintage Aviation, Introvert Humour, Lazy Extreme Sports, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Avoiding outdoor activities, funny introvert gifts, and surviving the weekend indoors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your absolute refusal to go outside, this ceramic mug needs to be at the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"94\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your coffee table. It serves as an exceptional \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"151\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against energetic friends in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"193\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit exhausting \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"229\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e like hiking or jogging. The rich \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"271\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the vintage badge is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"309\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e for all to see. It will quickly become your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"361\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e vessel to hold your morning drip coffee before a highly strenuous trip to the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"460\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"The Indoor Hang Gliding Club Funny Aviator Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/indoor-hang-gliding-club-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Avoid the outdoors with The Indoor Hang Gliding Club mug. This funny, premium ceramic coffee cup features Sir Cucumber Dog and is the perfect gift for introverts.\",\n  \"sku\": \"SCD-GLIDING-MUG-001\",\n  \"brand\": {\n    \"@type\": \"Brand\",\n    \"name\": \"Sir Cucumber Dog\"\n  },\n  \"offers\": {\n    \"@type\": \"AggregateOffer\",\n    \"url\": \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/indoor-hang-gliding-club-funny-mug\",\n    \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n    \"lowPrice\": \"17.00\",\n    \"highPrice\": \"19.00\",\n    \"offerCount\": \"2\",\n    \"offers\": [\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"11 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"17.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      },\n      {\n        \"@type\": \"Offer\",\n        \"name\": \"15 oz Mug\",\n        \"priceCurrency\": \"GBP\",\n        \"price\": \"19.00\",\n        \"itemCondition\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/NewCondition\",\n        \"availability\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/InStock\"\n      }\n    ],\n    \"shippingDetails\": {\n      \"@type\": \"OfferShippingDetails\",\n      \"shippingRate\": {\n        \"@type\": \"MonetaryAmount\",\n        \"value\": \"0.00\",\n        \"currency\": \"GBP\"\n      },\n      \"deliveryTime\": {\n        \"@type\": \"ShippingDeliveryTime\",\n        \"handlingTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 1,\n          \"maxValue\": 3,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        },\n        \"transitTime\": {\n          \"@type\": \"QuantitativeValue\",\n          \"minValue\": 2,\n          \"maxValue\": 5,\n          \"unitCode\": \"d\"\n        }\n      }\n    }\n  }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53591595843926,"sku":"9733846_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53591595876694,"sku":"9733846_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/indoor_hang_gliding_club_cucumber_dog_mug.webp?v=1779198090"},{"product_id":"beautiful-unicorn-funny-sarcastic-mug","title":"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn Funny Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman finds the modern obsession with toxic positivity deeply exhausting. Not everyone wakes up feeling like a majestic, mythical creature ready to conquer the day. Most of us wake up looking exactly like the deranged, sleep deprived beast plastered on this premium ceramic vessel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn\" mug. It is the ultimate antidote to inspirational quotes and overly cheerful morning people, serving as a highly accurate reflection of your internal state.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEmbrace the Morning Delusion\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe reject standard, mass produced affirmations. This vessel provides a masterclass in aggressive realism, perfectly crafted for the perpetually exhausted who need practical benefits along with their daily dose of sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProject an aura of unhinged confidence\u003c\/b\u003e to terrify your colleagues before your first meeting, powered by your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSurvive the daily grind without adding chores to your evening\u003c\/b\u003e, thanks to a robust, fully microwave and dishwasher safe ceramic build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eShield your hands from the boiling temperature of your morning brew\u003c\/b\u003e with our premium, thick walled white ceramic construction that withstands everyday office abuse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy a flawless, vibrant insult\u003c\/b\u003e that will not peel or fade, guaranteed by our high definition bespoke printing process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Surviving the Corporate Morning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIf you are wondering how to deflect unwanted conversations before 9 AM, our expert advice is simple: camouflage. This mug serves as a visual representation of how it feels to join a video call with a raging hangover or zero sleep. Hold it directly in front of your face and stare blankly at your manager until they slowly back away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eFor those searching for the best sarcastic gift for a coworker who has been running on empty since 2020, this vessel provides genuine utility. It speaks the truth so they do not have to waste their precious breath.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your lack of sleep, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"77\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your desk. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"116\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against people in your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"147\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e who exhibit overly peppy morning \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"193\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The vibrant pastel \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"222\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the deranged mane shows you take your sarcasm seriously. Make sure your coffee is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"321\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before stepping out of the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"368\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just stay inside with your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"419\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug and avoid the public altogether.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n \u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\/\",\n  \"@type\": \"Product\",\n  \"name\": \"Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn Funny Mug\",\n  \"image\": [\n    \"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/images\/beautiful-unicorn-mug.jpg\"\n  ],\n  \"description\": \"Start your morning with aggressive realism. 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They are briefly acknowledged, read with feigned enthusiasm, and promptly binned. This premium interactive ceramic vessel replaces that fleeting tradition with a permanent daily reminder of your absolute disdain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Another Year of Uselessness\" interactive mug. It is not just a vessel for hot beverages; it is a permanent replacement for the greeting card, complete with a blank template on the back for your own bespoke insults.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThe Superior Alternative to Cardboard\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not just sell drinkware. We provide a sustainable, long term strategy for insulting your peers. Here is how this interactive piece of Cucumber cream and green merchandise elevates your gifting strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eHumiliate them daily for years to come\u003c\/b\u003e with our premium, thick walled ceramic construction. It is infinitely more durable than a flimsy paper greeting card and built to outlast their fleeting willpower.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eDeliver a bespoke, highly personal insult\u003c\/b\u003e using the \"Fill It In Yourself\" back panel. You can easily write in the recipient's name, your name, and a harsh message of criticism without ever stepping foot in a card shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eEnjoy effortless maintenance\u003c\/b\u003e because the base mug print is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe, ensuring our core design will never peel or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eProject an aura of elite judgement\u003c\/b\u003e courtesy of the front graphic, featuring Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature green cucumber print suit and yellow bow tie, delivering a sharp \"Happy F*cking Birthday\" verdict.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Sarcastic Gifting\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you customise your interactive birthday mug permanently? If you simply want a temporary joke, any standard permanent marker will do. However, to ensure your handwritten message of criticism survives the dishwasher and haunts them forever, we highly recommend using a dedicated ceramic marker. Write your insults on the designated lines, let it dry, and bake the mug in the oven according to the pen manufacturer's instructions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eThis is the definitive answer for anyone searching for a sarcastic birthday gift for a lazy coworker, a total nepotism baby, or an ex partner who still talks to you. It eliminates the need for sentimental drivel and allows you to address their trash vibe directly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53695335956822,"sku":"8584671_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53695335989590,"sku":"8584671_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/another-year-of-uselessness-interactive-birthday-mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197915"},{"product_id":"expected-you-to-die-doing-something-stupid-birthday-mug","title":"Expected You To Die Doing Something Stupid Funny Birthday Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman is genuinely astounded that certain members of your social circle have survived another trip around the sun. Given their complete lack of basic survival instincts and terrible decision making skills, reaching this age is less of a milestone and more of a statistical anomaly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Expected You To Die Doing Something Stupid\" birthday mug. It is the perfect ceramic tribute to that one friend whose continued existence is a genuine medical mystery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eCelebrate Sheer Dumb Luck\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe refuse to offer basic, sentimental birthday greetings when absolute honesty is far more entertaining. This premium vessel provides a masterclass in aggressive realism, perfectly crafted for the perpetually reckless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eAcknowledge their miraculous survival skills\u003c\/b\u003e and project an aura of elite judgment with a hilarious graphic of The Chairman raising a glass of champagne in his signature green cucumber print suit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eDeliver a savage but accurate insult\u003c\/b\u003e over morning coffee, powered by your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eEnsure the joke outlasts their next reckless decision\u003c\/b\u003e thanks to a robust, fully microwave and dishwasher safe ceramic build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eToast to their continued existence\u003c\/b\u003e with high definition bespoke printing that keeps the vibrant red lettering and Cucumber green styling from ever peeling or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eExpert Insight: Insulting the Accident Prone\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIf you are wondering how to properly celebrate a friend who treats health and safety guidelines as mere suggestions, this is your definitive solution. This vessel is designed specifically for the clumsy coworker, the reckless sibling, or the mate whose weekend activities regularly involve emergency room visits. Hand them this mug, raise your own glass, and applaud their baffling ability to cheat death for another year. It is a highly practical gift that gets straight to the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003eDesign Style:\u003c\/b\u003e Sarcastic birthday greeting, dark humour, featuring Sir Cucumber Dog\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Roasting accident prone friends, siblings, and reckless coworkers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003ci data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"15\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your friend's reckless \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"44\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"90\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of their birthday party. It is a fantastic \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"140\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring gifts in your \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"177\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. The bright \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"202\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the red text shows you take their lack of safety seriously. Make sure their coffee is clearly \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"305\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e before they stumble out of the local movie \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"356\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e, or better yet, just tell them to stay inside with their \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"421\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e new mug so they do not injure themselves!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53773886325078,"sku":"8841287_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53773886357846,"sku":"8841287_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/HAPPY_BIRTHDAY_from_someone_who_fully_expected_you_to_DIE_doing_something_STUPID_by_now._Mug_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197807"},{"product_id":"ding-dong-the-bitch-is-gone-funny-farewell-mug","title":"Ding Dong The Bitch Is Gone Funny Farewell Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Chairman believes that some departures deserve far more than a lukewarm, standard office farewell card signed with feigned sadness. When an absolute nightmare of a person finally leaves your daily orbit, it is not a moment for sorrow; it is a momentous occasion that demands a full celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePresenting the \"Ding Dong The Bitch Is Gone!\" funny farewell mug. Set against a beautiful, light Cucumber cream background with elegant vintage detailing, this premium ceramic vessel is the world's first (from what we can tell) multi-purpose freedom celebration mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCelebrate a Glorious Exit\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe do not do polite masking when a toxic presence finally leaves your life. This vessel provides a masterclass in unapologetic relief, perfectly designed to inject some much-needed humour into a major life upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCommemorate their departure with a glorious thumbs up\u003c\/b\u003e from Sir Cucumber Dog himself, looking sharp in his green cucumber-print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature cucumber monocle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHost a quiet celebration at your desk or home\u003c\/b\u003e surrounded by a festive arrangement of vintage fireworks, stars, and subtle scroll work that frames the magnificent declaration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eKeep your celebratory beverage topped up\u003c\/b\u003e throughout the happy transition with your choice of a standard 11 oz or a substantial 15 oz capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEnjoy effortless post-celebration cleanup\u003c\/b\u003e because this high-quality white ceramic piece is 100% dishwasher and microwave safe, ensuring the vibrant gold and green print remains flawless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eToast to a peaceful new era\u003c\/b\u003e with a premium wrap-around design applied via our high-definition bespoke sublimation process, guaranteed not to scratch or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExpert Insight: Navigating Life's Ultimate Upgrades\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eHow do you strategically deploy this funny celebratory mug? While it makes a sensational workplace send-off for a toxic manager or an incredibly difficult coworker, it is also the perfect funny just got divorced gift. When a friend successfully untangles themselves from a terrible marriage, do not offer hollow sympathies; hand them this vessel to toast their newfound liberty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eIt also functions flawlessly as the definitive \"just got dumped\" survival token. If someone in your social circle has finally been cut loose from a manipulative ex-partner, this mug serves as an immediate visual reminder that the trash has effectively taken itself out. From what our research can tell, it is the only premium ceramic piece on the market specifically optimised for corporate exits, relationship terminations, and legal separations alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium White Ceramic with full wrap print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAvailable Capacities:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard size and 15 oz oversized capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaintenance \u0026amp; Care:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Dishwasher and Microwave Safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign Theme:\u003c\/b\u003e Sarcastic Farewell, Relationship Freedom, Divorce Humour, Sir Cucumber Dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIdeal Use Case:\u003c\/b\u003e Just got divorced gifts, funny breakup presents, escaping colleagues, or office triumphs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e the fact that a difficult person has finally left your workspace or your life, this ceramic mug deserves to be the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"136\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of your counter. It serves as an exceptional \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"188\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against a dreary atmosphere, bringing a burst of joy to your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"257\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e after witnessing such toxic \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"298\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e. The soft cream \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"323\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e of the background ensures the bold gold lettering is clearly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"390\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e for all to see. It will quickly become your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"442\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e novelty item to display, offering a level of entertainment usually reserved for the local movie \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"547\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53905241047382,"sku":"3021363_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53905241080150,"sku":"3021363_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/ding_dong_the_bitch_has_gone_mug_cucumber_dog.webp?v=1779197445"},{"product_id":"id-agree-with-you-ceramic-office-mug","title":"I'd Agree With You Funny Coworker Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eAt Cucumber Dog, we understand the specific requirements of novelty corporate gifting and premium office accessories. The \"I'd Agree With You\" ceramic mug is engineered for professionals who require a durable, high-quality vessel for their daily caffeine, paired with unapologetic workplace humour. We have created a piece of statement drinkware rooted in expert typography and precise illustration to help you survive incompetent colleagues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThe artwork centres on Sir Cucumber Dog. Our proprietary plush pug mascot is rendered in high-definition detail, wearing his bespoke cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle. He leans casually against a stack of antique books, establishing a scholarly visual entity that perfectly contrasts with the blunt profanity of the message. The phrase \"I'd Agree With You, But Then We'd Both Be Fucking Idiots\" is executed in an elegant, swirling vintage font.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Corporate Hostility\u003c\/b\u003e We do not simply sell vessels for hot water. We provide deeply relatable coping mechanisms designed to establish strict boundaries in the workplace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Hostile Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features our distinguished Chairman delivering a brutal truth wrapped in vintage, high-end typography.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose between a standard 11 oz size for your morning dose of disdain, or a substantial 15 oz vessel for those grueling days when you are surrounded by exceptional stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high-quality finish to withstand scalding hot tea and the exhausting pressure of endless strategy meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long day of pretending to value bad opinions, manually washing a cup is an insult to your remaining energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Place it firmly on your desk to let your colleagues know that any new ideas they bring to you will be judged harshly and immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53938044272982,"sku":"9668196_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53938044305750,"sku":"9668196_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/id-agree-with-you-pug-office-mug.jpg?v=1779381707"},{"product_id":"dogs-obey-cats-consult-ceramic-office-mug","title":"Dogs Obey, Cats Consult Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eAt Cucumber Dog, we recognise the strict administrative hierarchy of household pets. The \"Dogs Obey\" ceramic mug is an astute observation of domestic animal behaviour, engineered for professionals who require premium drinkware and factual accuracy. We have designed a vessel that perfectly encapsulates the friction between blind canine loyalty and bureaucratic feline indifference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eThe artwork features a highly detailed, semantic contrast. On the right sits our esteemed Chairman, Sir Cucumber Dog. As a distinguished plush pug, he is rendered in his bespoke Cucumber green suit with a yellow bow tie. His signature cucumber slice monocle is firmly in place as he stares stoically ahead. On the left, an orange tabby cat gazes back, entirely unbothered by authority. The text \"Dogs obey. Cats consult their diaries and return your call.\" is executed in an elegant, vintage serif typeface set against our signature Cucumber cream background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Pet Bureaucracy\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eTo satisfy search intent and consumer demands, we have structured this product to over-deliver on utility and aesthetic precision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz vessel for a brisk morning coffee, or select the substantial 15 oz size for those prolonged shifts where the cat refuses to yield your office chair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Manufactured with a high-gloss finish to withstand both scalding liquids and the tedious nature of endless strategy meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-Definition Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The Cucumber green typography and character details are sublimated with absolute precision to prevent fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Hand-washing is an antiquated practice best left to those with too much free time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53998946025814,"sku":"9257101_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53998946058582,"sku":"9257101_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/dogs-obey-cats-consult-funny-pet-mug_jpg.jpg?v=1779812049"},{"product_id":"sir-cucumber-dog-sweeping-the-floor-with-your-nuts-mug","title":"Sir Cucumber Dog \"Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts\" Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eGive the perfect rude birthday gag gift with the Sir Cucumber Dog \"Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts\" mug. Featuring our signature plush pug in his bespoke cucumber green suit, yellow bow tie, and cucumber monocle, this vintage style ceramic mug delivers cheeky British humour straight to their morning coffee. Available in both standard 11 oz and large 15 oz sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Design \u0026amp; Story\u003c\/b\u003e Gravity spares no man. Celebrate another year on the clock with a design that mixes high class sophistication with brilliant low brow humour. Set against a distressed, vintage parchment background in our signature Cucumber cream, complete with anatomical walnut illustrations, Sir Cucumber Dog stares in judgement while delivering the ultimate birthday reality check: \"CONGRATULATIONS! You're officially one year closer to sweeping the floor with your nuts.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Technical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e We use premium ceramic bases fulfilled through Printful to ensure your cheeky gift survives daily use and multiple washes without fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% durable white ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSizes Available:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz standard brew and 15 oz large\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Microwave and dishwasher safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrint Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e High colour wrap around sublimation printing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFinish:\u003c\/b\u003e Glossy, scratch resistant surface\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e For our friends across the pond, here is your translation guide:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCheeky humour:\u003c\/b\u003e Sassy humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSweeping the floor:\u003c\/b\u003e Dragging on the ground\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eNuts:\u003c\/b\u003e Balls or testicles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColour:\u003c\/b\u003e Color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54022221726038,"sku":"8538027_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54022221758806,"sku":"8538027_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/congratulations_sweeping_your_nuts.jpg?v=1780041590"},{"product_id":"funny-enormous-infant-head-mum-mug","title":"Sir Cucumber Dog Enormous Infant Head Mum Ceramic Mug | Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis ceramic mug is the ultimate unapologetic apology for mothers everywhere. Available in both 11 oz and 15 oz sizes, it features Sir Cucumber Dog tipping his top hat alongside a distressingly accurate message about pelvic floors. It provides the perfect vessel for her morning brew and a daily reminder of your massive infant cranium.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Sophisticated Carnage Features\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz or 15 oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose the standard 11 oz for a regular morning regret, or the 15 oz for days when she needs extra caffeine to temporarily repair the psychological damage of raising you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Our signature pug dressed in his finest cucumber-print suit, yellow bow tie, and cucumber monocle, offering his most sincere condolences.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because the woman has already suffered enough cleaning up after you for the last two decades.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDistressed Typography:\u003c\/b\u003e A vintage text effect printed in our signature Cucumber Green to look professional while being profoundly inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% White Ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSizes:\u003c\/b\u003e 11 oz (0.33 l) and 15 oz (0.44 l)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrinting Method:\u003c\/b\u003e High contrast dye sublimation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Microwave and dishwasher safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"21\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eTo \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"3\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e the absolute physical destruction you caused your mother, gifting this ceramic mug is your best \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"105\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against the resentful \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"135\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e of a parent in your digital \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"172\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e. Placing this aggressively honest apology right in the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"240\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of her kitchen ensures your massive head remains a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"298\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e topic of conversation, preventing your Mother's Day gift from being as forgettable as a bad movie at a local \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"416\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e. \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"425\"\u003e(Note: Be sure to address it to \"Mom\" when shipping stateside).\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWill the distressed text look blurry on the mug?\u003c\/b\u003e No. The distressed texture on the word \"MUM\" is a deliberate design choice that sublimates cleanly onto ceramic, giving it a premium, vintage aesthetic without losing legibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eIs the design printed on both sides?\u003c\/b\u003e Yes. The brutal apology is visible whether she is left handed, right handed, or aggressively gripping the 15 oz mug with both hands to prevent herself from screaming.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54022302073174,"sku":"6756940_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54022302105942,"sku":"6756940_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/11oz-funny-mum-apology-ceramic-mug.jpg?v=1780486857"}],"url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/rude-mugs.oembed?page=2","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}