{"title":"The HR Nightmare Collection","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eWelcome to the HR Nightmare collection, a carefully curated selection of rude novelty mugs and highly offensive gifts. This drink-ware is explicitly designed for those who have absolutely zero regard for workplace etiquette or polite societal norms. If you are actively trying to get called into human resources or simply want to shock your easily offended relatives, you have found the perfect inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eFeaturing our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream palette, each piece is fully endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, our distinguished plush pug Chairman who oversees operations in his bespoke cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and gleaming monocle. From scandalous double entendres to outright filth, these inappropriate mugs make excellent gag gifts for friends with a properly warped sense of humour. Browse our most controversial ceramic designs and embrace the absolute worst of British comedy.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"stirred-with-my-balls-white-mug","title":"\"Stirred By My Balls\" Funny Explorer Mug | Rude Novelty Gift","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Message from the Chairman: Adventure and Poor Hygiene\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eIt has come to my attention that some of you fancy yourselves as \"outdoorsy\" types. While Sir Cucumber Dog prefers his adventures to involve nothing more strenuous than choosing between a velvet or silk cushion, he recognises that the common human enjoys pretending to be a rugged explorer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis premium ceramic mug features a detailed, comic-style illustration of a man who looks like he has spent far too long in the jungle and far too little time near a bathroom. With a striking yellow speech bubble and authentic halftone dot patterns, it delivers a punchline that is as uncouth as it is effective: \"THIS DRINK WAS STIRRED BY MY... BALLS. ENJOY!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eIt is a blatant violation of health and safety standards, a social catastrophe in the making, and exactly the kind of distasteful humour that keeps life interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This (The Rationale)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e If you are tired of colleagues asking to \"borrow\" your tea or \"have a sip\" of your coffee, this vessel provides the perfect solution. One look at the adventurer’s weary eyes and the horrifying confession in the speech bubble will ensure your drink remains strictly your own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh-End Visual Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e The contrast between the sophisticated, grayscale sketch and the vibrant pop of yellow creates a visual \"scroll-stopping\" effect. It is a piece of art that just happens to be incredibly offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Masterclass in the \"Long Pause\":\u003c\/b\u003e The use of the ellipsis in the text creates a moment of suspense before delivering a blow to the viewer's appetite. It is a brilliant piece of cheeky social commentary on the hidden \"ingredients\" of life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Quality for Primitive Humour:\u003c\/b\u003e While the message is questionable, the craftsmanship is not. This mug is made from high-gloss white ceramic, engineered to ensure the black ink and yellow speech bubble remain crisp through every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Meticulous\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVessel Sizes:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"38\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/b\u003e for your morning ritual or a generous \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"81\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/b\u003e for those who need a substantial amount of caffeine to deal with their peers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy white ceramic for a professional look and a substantial feel in the hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eResilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is designed to resist fading, even if you try to scrub the mental image of the message away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e BPA-free and lead-free. We care about your health, even if the man on the mug clearly doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is This For? (The Victims)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Office Prankster:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who believes that \"lowering the tone\" is a professional responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Rugged\" Outdoors man:\u003c\/b\u003e A hilarious gift for the friend who owns a lot of khaki and hats but mostly uses them to walk the dog in the park.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Hard-to-Buy-For Brother:\u003c\/b\u003e If you need a birthday or Secret Santa gift that will cause an immediate family scandal, your search ends here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFans of the Absurd:\u003c\/b\u003e For anyone who appreciates a vintage comic aesthetic paired with a joke that is fundamentally \"too much information.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51532923208022,"sku":"9143870_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51532923240790,"sku":"9143870_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e8f1c5b312e.jpg?v=1777475359"},{"product_id":"mofo-white-mug","title":"Mofo White Mug","description":"Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between—this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free material\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51534021165398,"sku":"5647338_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51534021198166,"sku":"5647338_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e908b002d46.jpg?v=1777475596"},{"product_id":"my-favourite-word-is-moist-white-mug","title":"\"My Favourite Word is Moist\" Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Linguistic Weapon of Mass Irritation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has observed that the human race possesses a peculiar, collective loathing for a specific six-letter word. While he, being a cucumber-based entity, finds the concept of \"moisture\" to be a sign of peak freshness, he recognizes that for you lot, it is the verbal equivalent of a damp handshake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eNaturally, he has decided to put it on a mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eThis premium ceramic vessel features the Chairman in his signature cucumber-print suit, looking on with his usual aristocratic disdain as you watch your colleagues visibly shudder. The bold text proudly declares your preference for the most hated word in the English language. It is the perfect choice for the office antagonist, the professional pot-stirrer, or anyone who enjoys the silence that follows a truly uncomfortable statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Audit: Offensive Rating\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOffensive Rating:\u003c\/b\u003e 4\/5\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Chairman’s Quote:\u003c\/b\u003e \"Visceral. Unpleasant. A linguistic crime against humanity. Sir Cucumber Dog is delighted by the discomfort this will cause.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaximum Cringe Factor:\u003c\/b\u003e Most rude mugs use profanity: this mug uses psychological warfare. It is far more effective at clearing a room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vault Exclusive:\u003c\/b\u003e As part of our NSFW range, this is designed for those who have abandoned all hope of being liked and have chosen to be memorable instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"73\"\u003eCucumber green\u003c\/b\u003e accents stay vibrant while you ruin everyone’s morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for Chaos:\u003c\/b\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. The Chairman’s scowl and that dreaded word are engineered to resist fading, much like the memory of your poor social choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSize Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for when you have a lot of moisture to celebrate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality Materials:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% glossy white ceramic with a high-definition, long-lasting print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety First:\u003c\/b\u003e Lead and BPA-free. We protect your physical health while you damage your social standing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51541216133462,"sku":"9160027_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51541216166230,"sku":"9160027_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e79cd9b7ab3.jpg?v=1776793781"},{"product_id":"anal-applause-white-mug","title":"Anal Applause White Mug","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Standing Ovation for the Audibly Offensive\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eIt has come to the Chairman’s attention that certain rhythmic, biological acoustics are a source of pride for some of you. While Sir Cucumber Dog finds the mechanics of the human digestive system entirely vulgar, he cannot help but admire a human who seeks a founding membership for it. This premium ceramic mug officially welcomes you to the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"343\"\u003eAnal Applause Appreciation Society\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eDesigned for those who have abandoned all hope of social acceptance, this vessel features a sophisticated \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"106\"\u003eCucumber cream\u003c\/b\u003e background. The design is anchored by a regal, ornate green banner with gold-style detailing, providing a level of Victorian elegance that makes the phrase \"Anal Applause\" look surprisingly high-class. Centre stage is Sir Cucumber Dog himself: dressed in his signature cucumber-print suit and monocle, wearing an expression of intense, aristocratic disdain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Require This Vessel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Social Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Bringing this into a professional environment is a definitive power move. It ensures that no one will ever ask you to lead a \"wellness seminar\" or volunteer for the office tea round again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e We do not trade in flimsy kitchenware. This is crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the Cucumber green banner and yellow bow tie remain crisp and vibrant through every use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eResistant to Shame and Detergent:\u003c\/b\u003e Built to handle the heat of a Monday morning or the late-night tea rounds, this mug is fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The print is engineered to resist fading, even if you try to wash away the mental image.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Unfiltered\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11oz Standard:\u003c\/b\u003e The classic choice for a quick hit of caffeine or a modest tea. Perfect for those who prefer their insults concentrated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15oz Mega:\u003c\/b\u003e For those who require a substantial amount of liquid to cope with their social isolation. More mug means more room for judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Glossy white ceramic with a full-wrap Cucumber cream finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSafety Standards:\u003c\/b\u003e Entirely BPA-free and lead-free. Sir Cucumber Dog cares about your health, even if you clearly do not care about your reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"CUCUMBER DOG","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51647140200790,"sku":"5894601_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51647140233558,"sku":"5894601_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7650611e18.jpg?v=1776772791"},{"product_id":"sometimes-i-lick-the-spoon-mug-funny-rude-gag-gift","title":"Sometimes I Lick The Spoon Mug | Funny Rude Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you have ever licked the spoon and popped it right back in the drawer, this mug was made for your naughty soul. This is the ultimate tribute to those who live by the \"five-second rule\" and treat kitchen hygiene like a polite suggestion rather than a requirement.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"270\"\u003eVisual Description: High-Energy Design for the Kitchen Rebel\u003c\/b\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eThis isn't your standard, boring kitchenware. The design features high-impact, colourful typography that screams \"unapologetic.\" Set against a crisp white ceramic base, the bold lettering is accented by a cheeky winking emoji, making it clear that while your habits might be questionable, your sense of humour is top-tier. The vibrant palette uses our signature bold tones to ensure this mug stands out on any desk or kitchen counter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Need This Mug\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWhether you are sipping your morning tea or a late-night hot chocolate, this mug celebrates the small, slightly disgusting victories of life. It is the kind of gag gift that gets a \"Me too!\" followed by a \"Wait, you actually do that?\" It’s high-energy, colourful, and a bit wrong—exactly how your morning brew should be. It captures a specific brand of British cheekiness and turns it into your new favourite conversation starter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Highlights \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTwo Sizes for Every Habit:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in a standard 11oz or a generous 15oz for those who need a larger dose of caffeine to fuel their mischief.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVibrant, Professional Finish:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly printed to ensure the bold colours and winking emoji stay crisp and bright, even after a trip through the dishwasher.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurable Ceramic Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed to survive the daily grind, from the office kitchen to the breakfast table.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDishwasher \u0026amp; Microwave Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Completely practical for daily use and low-effort maintenance after your \"naughty\" tea break.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStand-Alone Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Every mug is crafted with a focus on premium materials and high-definition print clarity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWho Is It For?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Secret\" Baker:\u003c\/b\u003e For the person who definitely tastes the batter and \"cleans\" the whisk with their tongue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Office Rebel:\u003c\/b\u003e Perfect for the colleague who wants to make everyone a little bit uncomfortable during the Monday morning meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Hard to Buy For\" Friend:\u003c\/b\u003e A hilarious, inappropriate gift for birthdays, Secret Santa, or housewarmings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53087665979734,"sku":"6980718_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53087666012502,"sku":"6980718_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/sometimes_i_lick_the_spoon_and_put_it_back_to_feel_naughty_mug_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777036858"},{"product_id":"i-did-debbie-in-dallas-mug-funny-retro-sarcastic-gift","title":"I Did Debbie in Dallas Mug | Funny Retro Sarcastic Gift","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"font-family: sans-serif; color: #1a1a1a; background-color: #fafdf5; padding: 20px; border: 1px solid #d4eec7; border-radius: 8px;\"\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"One can only assume the HR department is already drafting your warning letter,\" notes Sir Cucumber Dog, polishing his cucumber monocle.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eReady for a retro gift that packs a punchline? This naughty \"I Did Debbie in Dallas\" mug is the ultimate conversation starter for anyone with a wicked sense of humour. Designed for those who appreciate a cheeky wink at 1978 pop culture, this funny retro mug is guaranteed to cause a stir during the morning meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eA Bold Dose of Nostalgia (and Judgement)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you are sipping morning coffee or a cheeky afternoon tea, this mug brings a splash of 70s swagger to your desk. The vibrant, full-wrap illustration features a winking cheerleader and the iconic Dallas skyline, complete with the playful disclaimer: \"It is not what you think!\" Sir Cucumber Dog assures you, it is exactly what they think. It is the perfect inappropriate gift for a friend or a legendary work Secret Santa present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Chief Judgement Officer's Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted for a sturdy feel, capable of surviving the dishwasher after you hastily hide it from the boss.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm in height and 8.2 cm in diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e15oz Dimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm in height and 8.5 cm in diameter (for those who need more caffeine to handle the judgement).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eModern Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully safe for use in the microwave and dishwasher. Entirely free from lead and BPA.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eFunny gifts for him or her for milestone birthdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eA legendary office prank that will not be forgotten anytime soon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves 1970s nostalgia and rude adult humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDelivery Information\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree UK shipping is included on all orders. Because we use premium print-on-demand technology, each piece is crafted to order specifically for you. Please allow a few extra days for us to print your design and get it dispatched directly to your door!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53091844522326,"sku":"5213761_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53091844555094,"sku":"5213761_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Tilted_white_ceramic_mug_on_a_light_beige_surface_featuring_a_retro_Dallas_cheerleader_illustration_and_the_funny_quote_I_DID_DEBBIE_IN_DALLAS_Cucumber_Dog.png?v=1776351987"},{"product_id":"the-im-a-wet-fart-mug","title":"The Ultimate Badge of Mediocrity: The \"Wet Fart\" Edition Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eIt is a rare thing for a human to possess the self-awareness to admit they are an absolute damp squib. While Sir Cucumber Dog generally expects perfection, he finds this level of brutal honesty almost tolerable. This mug is the ultimate badge of honour for those days when you are definitely not \"crushing it.\" In fact, you are not even making a dent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design features a high end \"Cucumber cream\" label wrap, framed by detailed \"Cucumber green\" borders and an intricate ornate divider. The phrase \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"184\"\u003e\"I’M THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A WET FART\"\u003c\/b\u003e is rendered in bold, vintage-inspired typography, perfectly balanced by the sophisticated subtitle: \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"325\"\u003e\"EDITION OF ONE.\"\u003c\/b\u003e It is a juxtaposition of refined, aristocratic aesthetics and the kind of low-brow humour that makes the Chairman tilt his head in silent judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality for the Walking Anticlimax\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog refuses to put his name on anything flimsy. Even if you feel like a disappointment, your mug should not be one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDouble Sided Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e The design is printed on both sides, ensuring your lack of potential is visible to everyone in the room, whether you are a leftie or a rightie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional Grade Finish:\u003c\/b\u003e Expertly crafted to ensure the Cucumber green and cream colours remain sharp, vibrant, and entirely resistant to fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStrategic Lowered Expectations:\u003c\/b\u003e Carry this into a meeting to ensure nobody asks you for anything important. It is a brilliant tool for avoiding responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLow Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. Because let us be honest, you likely do not have the energy for hand-washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Self-Aware\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard cup of tea to survive the morning or a massive bucket of coffee to pretend you are functional, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e A robust, high-gloss white ceramic build that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your badge of mediocrity arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the Chairman’s designs reach you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e mediocre friend with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"63\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"80\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e vessel is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"102\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of our collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"142\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against high expectations and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"190\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily failure. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"233\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of self-deprecation is sure to be a hit in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"288\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e or office breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53114479509846,"sku":"9331373_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53114479542614,"sku":"9331373_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Funny_white_ceramic_mug_tilted_featuring_a_beige_label_with_the_rude_quote_I_m_the_human_equivalent_of_a_wet_fart..png?v=1776351308"},{"product_id":"cum-on-eileen-retro-pop-art-mug","title":"The Literal Anthem: The \"Come On Eileen\" Scandalous Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog has noted that humans spent a significant portion of the 1980s shouting this specific lyric at each other in crowded rooms. While the Chairman finds your choice of \"anthems\" loud and fundamentally unnecessary, he does appreciate a literal interpretation that makes everyone in the immediate vicinity profoundly uncomfortable. This is not just a mug: it is a visual representation of your refusal to be polite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003ePart of our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"12\"\u003eHome Chaos\u003c\/b\u003e collection, this design is a high-definition piece of scandalous kitchenware. It captures the exact moment a misheard lyric becomes a social catastrophe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Mug is a Masterclass in Literalism\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eFeaturing a meticulous 1950s-inspired pop-art wrap, this design brings a touch of vintage flair to a modern-day ruin of a classic track.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProfessional-Grade Judgement:\u003c\/b\u003e The visual features halftone dot patterns and bold comic outlines. It captures the perfect, horrified expression of the recipient with a distinct \"EWWW!\" speech bubble against a vintage pink backdrop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Conversation Stopper:\u003c\/b\u003e Whether you are an 80s music fan with a warped sense of humour or simply someone who enjoys making people do a double-take at the kettle, this design delivers every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from high-gloss white ceramic, ensuring the colours stay vibrant and the typography remains crisp. It is a sturdy vessel that feels as substantial as the insults it provides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEveryday Resilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully dishwasher and microwave safe. The high-definition print is engineered to resist fading, even after countless wash cycles have attempted to scrub away the scandal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Pot-Stirrer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eWhether you need a standard caffeine hit or a massive bucket of tea to fuel your next office prank, we have the size for you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e11 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 9.6 cm height and 8.2 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e15 oz Mug:\u003c\/b\u003e Measures 11.9 cm height and 8.5 cm diameter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Build:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% white glossy ceramic that is lead and BPA free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Fulfilment:\u003c\/b\u003e To ensure your scandalous delivery arrives swiftly, we print and ship locally in whatever country you are in. This reduces the carbon footprint and ensures the guide reaches you without unnecessary international delays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGlobal Logistics:\u003c\/b\u003e Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"50\"\u003eFree UK and US Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e on all orders. No hidden fees at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e(For our friends across the pond who struggle with extra vowels)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eIf you want to \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003ehonor\u003c\/b\u003e your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003efavorite\u003c\/b\u003e 80s fan with a high \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"55\"\u003ecolor\u003c\/b\u003e gift that mocks their \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"83\"\u003ebehavior\u003c\/b\u003e, this is the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"105\"\u003ecenter\u003c\/b\u003e of any kitchen collection. It is a great \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"153\"\u003edefense\u003c\/b\u003e against boring coffee breaks and acts as a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"204\"\u003etheater\u003c\/b\u003e piece for your daily brew. This \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"244\"\u003eprogram\u003c\/b\u003e of literal humor is sure to be a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"285\"\u003elabeled\u003c\/b\u003e success in any \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"308\"\u003eneighborhood\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude \u0026 Funny Mugs, Tees, Door Mats \u0026 Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53145511723350,"sku":"3327894_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53145511756118,"sku":"3327894_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Cucumber_dog_Cum_On_Eileen_Rude_Funny_Mug.jpg?v=1777037869"},{"product_id":"id-agree-with-you-ceramic-office-mug","title":"I'd Agree With You Funny Coworker Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eAt Cucumber Dog, we understand the specific requirements of novelty corporate gifting and premium office accessories. The \"I'd Agree With You\" ceramic mug is engineered for professionals who require a durable, high-quality vessel for their daily caffeine, paired with unapologetic workplace humour. We have created a piece of statement drinkware rooted in expert typography and precise illustration to help you survive incompetent colleagues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThe artwork centres on Sir Cucumber Dog. Our proprietary plush pug mascot is rendered in high-definition detail, wearing his bespoke cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle. He leans casually against a stack of antique books, establishing a scholarly visual entity that perfectly contrasts with the blunt profanity of the message. The phrase \"I'd Agree With You, But Then We'd Both Be Fucking Idiots\" is executed in an elegant, swirling vintage font.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Anatomy of Corporate Hostility\u003c\/b\u003e We do not simply sell vessels for hot water. We provide deeply relatable coping mechanisms designed to establish strict boundaries in the workplace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExquisitely Hostile Artwork:\u003c\/b\u003e Features our distinguished Chairman delivering a brutal truth wrapped in vintage, high-end typography.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDual Capacity Options:\u003c\/b\u003e Choose between a standard 11 oz size for your morning dose of disdain, or a substantial 15 oz vessel for those grueling days when you are surrounded by exceptional stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Built with a smooth, high-quality finish to withstand scalding hot tea and the exhausting pressure of endless strategy meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffortless Maintenance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. After a long day of pretending to value bad opinions, manually washing a cup is an insult to your remaining energy levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Office Deterrent:\u003c\/b\u003e Place it firmly on your desk to let your colleagues know that any new ideas they bring to you will be judged harshly and immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":53938044272982,"sku":"9668196_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":53938044305750,"sku":"9668196_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/id-agree-with-you-pug-office-mug.jpg?v=1779381707"},{"product_id":"sir-cucumber-dog-agree-with-you-funny-coaster","title":"Sir Cucumber Dog \"I'd Agree With You\" Funny Pug Coaster","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Barrier Against Spills and Stupidity\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eWelcome the pinnacle of passive-aggressive homeware to your coffee table. The \"I'd Agree With You, But Then We'd Both Be Fucking Idiots\" coaster features the illustrious Sir Cucumber Dog in his finest tailored cucumber-print suit, complete with his signature yellow bow tie and monocle. Set against our bespoke cucumber cream background, this drinks mat is the perfect companion for your morning brew and a brilliant deterrent for unwanted conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eAs the official home of the Sir Cucumber Dog universe, we guarantee authentic, razor-sharp British humour printed on premium materials. Because we utilise Printful for our production, you are guaranteed a high-quality, durable print. The sturdy cork backing protects your wooden and glass surfaces from scratches, while the high-gloss, heat-resistant top layer repels spills and condensation from boiling hot mugs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eWhether you are hosting the in-laws or buying a brilliantly cynical gift for a colleague, this coaster adds instant personality to any room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Specifications:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e High-gloss, heat-resistant top layer\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBase:\u003c\/b\u003e Scratch-resistant cork backing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e Standard UK mug and pint glass size\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign:\u003c\/b\u003e Authentic Sir Cucumber Dog original art on cucumber cream\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/b\u003e Wipe clean with a damp cloth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54093897597270,"sku":"9063078_15662","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/id-agree-with-you-sarcastic-cork-coaster.png?v=1780591873"}],"url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/the-hr-nightmare-collection.oembed","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}