{"product_id":"are-you-a-parking-ticket-funny-sarcastic-flirting-t-shirt","title":"Are You A Parking Ticket | Funny Sarcastic Flirting T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the municipal romance division. This premium white organic t-shirt disguises a tragically cheesy pickup line within the high anxiety framework of a Parking Charge Notice. Featuring the aggressively yellow layout of a standard PCN and the unapologetic dad joke \"Are you a parking ticket? Because you have FINE written all over you,\" it is the ultimate wearable icebreaker. It is perfectly engineered to give strangers a mild panic attack before subjecting them to your terrible sense of humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Bureaucratic Flirtation Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This garment targets the highly lucrative dad joke and tragic romance sectors. We entirely reject smooth social interaction in favour of municipal anxiety. It is the perfect attire for terrifying traffic wardens, embarrassing yourself at social gatherings, or actively repelling romantic interests with aggressive cheese. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who finds human courtship rituals deeply embarrassing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically single. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a deeply confident best friend, a dad whose humour has been stuck in a loop since 1998, or a colleague who continuously receives actual parking fines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Organic Manufacturing\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our tragic pickup lines on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your romantic failure is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eOrganic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% ring spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh Contrast Citation:\u003c\/b\u003e High resolution direct to garment printing ensures the aggressive yellow background and bold black typography pop violently against the crisp white fabric, demanding immediate municipal compliance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colours contain a mandatory polyester blend). Pre-shrunk to prevent laundry-induced rage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eArchitectural Support:\u003c\/b\u003e Engineered with rigid side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to ensure the garment does not collapse under the weight of human interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²) fabric weight provides a breathable layer of protection against the general public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When a stranger visibly groans at your chest after reading the penalty charge, document their suffering and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":54918274777430,"sku":"8192367_9526","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":54918274810198,"sku":"8192367_4011","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":54918274842966,"sku":"8192367_4012","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":54918274875734,"sku":"8192367_4013","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":54918274908502,"sku":"8192367_4014","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":54918274941270,"sku":"8192367_4015","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":54918274974038,"sku":"8192367_5294","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":54918275006806,"sku":"8192367_5309","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-white-front-6a760848529d8.jpg?v=1786120306","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/are-you-a-parking-ticket-funny-sarcastic-flirting-t-shirt","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}