{"product_id":"cereal-killer-funny-retro-shirt","title":"Cereal Killer | Funny Retro Mascot T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Morning Hostility Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This garment targets the highly lucrative true crime and cynical breakfast sectors. We entirely reject cheerful morning interactions in favour of vintage cartoon violence. It is the perfect attire for dominating the kitchen, intimidating your roommates, or simply expressing your deep seated rage regarding early alarms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically un-morning person. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for the true crime podcast addict, a deeply cynical sibling, or a partner who requires significant caffeine before they are safe to interact with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Organic Manufacturing\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our domestic violence on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your morning hostility is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOrganic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% organic ring spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRetro Visual Sabotage:\u003c\/b\u003e High resolution direct to garment printing ensures the vibrant orange, yellow, and blue vintage cartoon graphics pop violently against the crisp white fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 155 g\/m² single jersey fabric provides a breathable but highly durable layer of protection during aggressive morning routines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMandatory Transparency Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e Management accepts zero liability for your undergarment choices. This lightweight fabric is inherently sheer to maximise breathability. Lighter colours will become semi transparent under direct lighting. 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