{"product_id":"cucumber-dog-ornate-botanical-monogram-black-hoodie","title":"CD Botanical Monogram Black Hoodie | Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch2\u003eStructured Fleece | The Cucumber Dog Label\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the heavy outerwear tier of our brand architecture. The Cucumber Dog Label introduces the world to your uncompromising preference for solitude via an elegant front print graphic. While the sophisticated interlocking CD monogram wrapped in vintage ivy and finished in official Cucumber Cream suggests a refined aesthetic against the dark fabric, the subtle incorporation of our signature yellow bow ties undermines any expectation of friendly conversation. It is the perfect attire for anyone who values supreme elegance while making it entirely clear they wish to be left alone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe refuse to print our aristocratic humour on inferior garments. This hoodie is built to strict premium specifications using our global network of bespoke print facilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFabric Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e 100 per cent cotton face with a 65 per cent ring-spun cotton and 35 per cent polyester blend for maximum warmth and a structured drape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDesign Features:\u003c\/b\u003e A structured 3-panel hood and matching flat drawstrings, ensuring you can physically retreat into comfort whenever social demands arise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Constructed with a front pouch pocket for hiding your hands, alongside a self-fabric patch on the back to protect your structural integrity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eGlobal Fulfillment:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed and routed locally, meaning faster delivery times whether you are avoiding society in the UK or the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eCorporate Compliance\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen an acquaintance attempts to initiate small talk, maintain unbroken eye contact, gesture to the refined botanical monogram on your chest, and submit the site evidence to our administrative peasantry by tagging @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog. Unfamiliar with our Chief Judgement Officer? Read the Official Lore of Sir Cucumber Dog to understand exactly why this garment exists.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBritish English:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Cosy \/ Colours \/ Centre \/ Behaviour \/ Favour\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAmerican English:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Cozy \/ Colors \/ Center \/ Behavior \/ Favor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eContext:\u003c\/b\u003e A highly specialised garment designed to ensure your cynical aristocracy is never questioned across the pond.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDisclaimer: This hoodie runs small. For the perfect fit, we recommend ordering one size larger than your usual size.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":55367016710486,"sku":"3629453_10779","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55367016743254,"sku":"3629453_10780","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55367016776022,"sku":"3629453_10781","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55367016808790,"sku":"3629453_10782","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55367016841558,"sku":"3629453_10783","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-premium-pullover-hoodie-black-back-6aa80236d07c5.jpg?v=1789395529","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/cucumber-dog-ornate-botanical-monogram-black-hoodie","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}