{"product_id":"everything-happens-reason-sarcastic-shirt","title":"Everything Happens For A Reason | Funny Sarcastic T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Accountability Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This garment targets the highly lucrative anti manifestation and sarcastic gifting sectors. We entirely reject mystical explanations for human incompetence in favour of heavy, blunt realism. It is the perfect attire for family interventions, group projects, or quietly observing your friends make terrible decisions on a Friday night. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who has zero tolerance for your lack of common sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for chronic enablers. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a deeply naive best friend, a chaotic sibling, or that one coworker who constantly wonders why everything always goes wrong for them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Organic Manufacturing\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our corporate hostility on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your blunt assessment is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOrganic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% organic ring spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh Contrast Sabotage:\u003c\/b\u003e High resolution direct to garment printing ensures the elegant navy script and the aggressive green block text pop violently against the crisp white fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 155 g\/m² single jersey fabric provides a breathable but highly durable layer of protection against sheer stupidity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMandatory Transparency Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e Management accepts zero liability for your undergarment choices. This lightweight fabric is inherently sheer to maximise breathability. Lighter colours will become semi transparent under direct lighting. 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