{"product_id":"full-books-oyster-tote","title":"The Intellectual Alibi: The \"Full of Books\" Organic Tote Oyster","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eSir Cucumber Dog is acutely aware that humans often require a respectable cover story for their daily errands. Whether you are actually hauling a small library or simply transporting three packets of crisps and a bottle of gin, this bag provides the perfect intellectual alibi.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eThe \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"4\"\u003e\"Full of Books\"\u003c\/b\u003e tote is a masterpiece of blunt, defensive communication. Set against a stark black background, the bold cream typography aggressively informs the general public of your supposed literary habits. Tucked neatly in the corner alongside the official Cucumber Dog web address, the Chairman sits in his bespoke green suit and armchair, ready to silently judge anyone who dares to question the contents of your bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Canvas Vessel is Essential\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eThis is not a flimsy promotional freebie. It is a heavy duty statement piece designed for the anti social commuter who wishes to appear cultured while avoiding conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Preemptive Strike:\u003c\/b\u003e The text is large enough to be read from a safe distance, answering the question \"what is in the bag\" before anyone has the audacity to ask.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStealth Luxury:\u003c\/b\u003e The deep black canvas provides a sophisticated backdrop, ensuring the cream typography and the intricate details of Sir Cucumber Dog's monocle pop with absolute clarity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePlausible Deniability:\u003c\/b\u003e It allows you to carry absolutely anything while maintaining an air of high brow superiority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBespoke Technical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eWe refuse to use standard, paper thin supermarket sacks. Sir Cucumber Dog demands structural integrity for your belongings. Here are the precise engineering details of your new mobile barricade:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSuperior Weave:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% certified organic cotton in a robust 3\/1 twill weave, ensuring it feels substantial to the touch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHeavyweight Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a solid 272 g\/m² (8 oz\/yd²) fabric weight. It will not wilt or collapse when you set it down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGenerous Proportions:\u003c\/b\u003e Measuring an expansive 50.8 cm wide and 35.6 cm tall, with a 12.7 cm depth (20 x 14 x 5 inches).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eElite Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed with an accessible open main compartment and a structured flat bottom, it comfortably swallows 23 litres (6 gallons) of cargo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLoad Bearing:\u003c\/b\u003e Engineered to handle up to 13.6 kg (30 lbs) of sheer weight, whether that consists of heavy literature or an excessive amount of snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eComfortable Carry:\u003c\/b\u003e Equipped with matching self fabric dual straps measuring exactly 63.5 cm (25 inches) in length and 2.5 cm (1 inch) wide, allowing it to sit perfectly over the shoulder without digging in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53314427781462,"sku":"1047414_10733","price":31.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/The_Intellectual_Alibi_The_Full_of_Books_Organic_Tote_Oyster_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777382639","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/full-books-oyster-tote","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}