{"product_id":"gently-stroke-pussycat-rude-innuendo-mug","title":"Gently Stroke The Pussycat | Funny Rude Vintage Innuendo Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the educational innuendo department. This premium ceramic vessel features a pristine vintage illustration of a woman instructing a bewildered gentleman, accompanied by the highly weaponised phrase \"You must learn to gently stroke the pussycat if you want her to purr, rather than roughly grabbing her by the tail.\" It is the ultimate morning chalice for anyone who appreciates aggressive double entendres and mandatory lessons in domestic handling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Educational Innuendo Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This ceramic asset targets the highly lucrative rude relationship sector. We entirely reject subtle humour in favour of blatant anatomical instructions disguised as pet care. It is the perfect vessel for surviving tedious mornings, enduring awkward family breakfasts, or simply making your partner deeply uncomfortable over a cup of tea. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who advocates for the gentle treatment of all household animals, metaphorical or otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically disappointed. This rude mug serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic partner, or anyone whose entire personality revolves around making highly offensive feline jokes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our suggestive humour on inferior drinkware. This vessel is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your educational diagram is displayed on the highest quality canvas to allow the vintage etching to pop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent premium white ceramic to withstand the daily grind of domestic innuendo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eVolumetric Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in two distinct sizes of liquid cheek: the standard 11 oz for quick coffees, and the heavy duty 15 oz for prolonged suggestive sipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThermal Endurance:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully microwave and dishwasher safe. Your vintage instruction manual will not fade under extreme heat or aggressive scrubbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When someone asks for relationship advice, take a long sip from this mug, maintain unblinking eye contact, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":55025567924566,"sku":"9812018_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":55025567957334,"sku":"9812018_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Gently_Stroke_The_Pussycat__Funny_Rude_Vintage_Innuendo_Ceramic_Mug.png?v=1787048957","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/gently-stroke-pussycat-rude-innuendo-mug","provider":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}