{"product_id":"i-fart-in-lifts-biological-hazard-shirt","title":"I Fart In Lifts | Funny Biological Hazard T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the confined space sabotage department. This premium organic t-shirt is a proud admission of absolute geographical hostility. Featuring a highly detailed, vintage elevator cage and a deeply smug operative deploying a massive yellow toxic cloud, it formally advertises your complete disregard for common decency. It is the ultimate wearable warning for anyone foolish enough to step into an enclosed environment with you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Biological Sabotage Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This garment targets the highly lucrative toilet humour and anti-social commuter sectors. We entirely reject polite society in favour of weaponised digestion. It is the perfect attire for awkward morning commutes, crowded corporate office buildings, or simply forcing strangers to reconsider and take the stairs. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who also utilizes biological warfare when his dinner is late.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the unapologetically gross. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a deeply disgusting sibling, a dad who is entirely too proud of his bodily functions, or a coworker who has weaponised the office elevator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Organic Manufacturing\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our biological threats on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your toxic admission is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eOrganic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% organic ring spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh Contrast Hazard:\u003c\/b\u003e High resolution direct to garment printing ensures the vibrant copper mechanics and the billowing yellow gas cloud pop violently against the dark fabric, ensuring your warning is visible from down the hall.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 155 g\/m² single jersey fabric provides a breathable but highly durable layer of protection against the disgusted reactions of your peers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When you successfully clear a lift in under ten seconds, document the immediate evacuation and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":54892535808342,"sku":"7348691_9526","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":54892535841110,"sku":"7348691_4011","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":54892535873878,"sku":"7348691_4012","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":54892535906646,"sku":"7348691_4013","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":54892535939414,"sku":"7348691_4014","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":54892535972182,"sku":"7348691_4015","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":54892536004950,"sku":"7348691_5294","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":54892536037718,"sku":"7348691_5309","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-white-back-6a71efab94d80.jpg?v=1785851844","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/i-fart-in-lifts-biological-hazard-shirt","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}