{"product_id":"im-a-melt-organic-kids-tee","title":"I'm A Melt | Organic Kids Tee","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAre you currently managing a tiny human who dissolves into a puddle of tears over the slightest inconvenience? We have engineered the ultimate sartorial power move for fatigued guardians.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eManagement has approved this highly saturated, pastel disguise for the youth department. To the untrained, juvenile eye, this is simply a cheerful graphic of a dripping soft serve, a grinning ice lolly, and a chaotic explosion of stars and sprinkles. They will love it. However, to the exhausted parent, it is a formal, wearable admission of the child's absolute emotional fragility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eThe phrase \"I'M A MELT\" is printed in bubbly, oblivious typography, ensuring your child will proudly wear a completely accurate assessment of their tantrum-prone behaviour without ever grasping the irony. It is the perfect, passive-aggressive uniform designed exclusively for your own amusement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Organic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% organic ring-spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft against sensitive skin and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 4.57 oz\/yd² (155 g\/m²) single jersey fabric provides a breathable yet highly durable layer for aggressive playground meltdowns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Engineered with a medium fit and set-in sleeves to allow for maximum, untethered flailing during a public tantrum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eReinforced Resilience:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a 1×1 rib at the collar and internal self-fabric neck tape to withstand aggressive tugging from unruly toddlers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eImpeccable Detailing:\u003c\/b\u003e Finished with a narrow double-needle topstitch on the sleeves and bottom hems, because even tiny anarchists require tailored precision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17,5,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eColonial Sizing Notice:\u003c\/b\u003e These garments are tailored to standard European proportions. Our American colleagues across the pond must formally order one size up to adequately accommodate the US market.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBODY LENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST WIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3-4\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5-6\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7-8\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9-11\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBODY LENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST WIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3-4\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5-6\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e12.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7-8\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e51.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9-11\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e57.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"3-4","offer_id":54554821787990,"sku":"1494015_12327","price":22.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"5-6","offer_id":54554821820758,"sku":"1494015_12328","price":22.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"7-8","offer_id":54554821853526,"sku":"1494015_12329","price":22.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"9-11","offer_id":54554821886294,"sku":"1494015_12330","price":22.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/kids-organic-cotton-mini-creator-2.0-t-shirt-white-front-6a57a93c31b6e.jpg?v=1784129866","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/im-a-melt-organic-kids-tee","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}