{"product_id":"keeping-the-vibe-retro-funny-white-hoodie","title":"Keeping The Vibe Distressingly Casual | Retro Funny White Hoodie","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Anti-Professional Attire Division\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the anti-professional attire division. This premium white hoodie introduces the world to your complete lack of urgency via a massive, psychedelic chest graphic. While the highly stylised, wavy 1970s aesthetic suggests a relaxed retro mindset, the phrase \"Keeping the vibe distressingly casual\" serves as a direct threat to corporate productivity. Printed entirely in our official Cucumber Green, the artwork features the heavily judging face of Sir Cucumber Dog, complete with his signature bow tie and monocle. We entirely reject standard office decorum in favour of making everyone mildly uncomfortable with your relaxed attitude. It is the perfect garment for casual Fridays, remote video calls, and deliberately lowering the standards of any room you walk into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe absolutely refuse to print our apathetic humour on inferior garments. This hoodie is built to strict premium specifications using our global network of bespoke print facilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFabric Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e 100 per cent cotton face with a 65 per cent ring-spun cotton and 35 per cent polyester blend for an exceptionally soft feel and clean finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDesign Features:\u003c\/b\u003e A structured 3-panel hood and matching flat drawstrings, ensuring you can physically retreat from your responsibilities in maximum comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Constructed with a front pouch pocket for hiding your hands while refusing to participate, and a self-fabric patch on the back to protect your structural integrity during extended periods of laziness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eGlobal Fulfillment:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed and routed locally, meaning faster delivery times whether you are actively avoiding work in the UK or the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBritish English:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Cosy \/ Colours \/ Centre \/ Behaviour \/ Favour\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAmerican English:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Cozy \/ Colors \/ Center \/ Behavior \/ Favor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eContext:\u003c\/b\u003e A highly specialised garment designed to ensure your cynical attitude is never questioned again in both domestic and corporate settings across the pond.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":55368001028438,"sku":"7331276_10774","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55368001061206,"sku":"7331276_10775","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55368001093974,"sku":"7331276_10776","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55368001126742,"sku":"7331276_10777","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55368001159510,"sku":"7331276_10778","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-premium-pullover-hoodie-white-back-6aa809a1bd056.jpg?v=1789397461","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/keeping-the-vibe-retro-funny-white-hoodie","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}