{"product_id":"matching-walking-pace-sarcastic-back-print-shirt","title":"Matching My Pace | Funny Sarcastic Anti Social T-Shirt (Back Print)","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Spatial Awareness Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This garment targets the highly lucrative anti social and urban commuter sectors. We entirely reject the concept of shared public walkways in favour of strictly enforced personal bubbles. The \"Warning: You Are Currently Matching My Exact Walking Pace\" graphic, complete with a threatening loading bar and boot print, serves as a digital cease and desist for anyone walking too closely behind you. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who despises being followed on his daily patrols.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically irritable pedestrian. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cynical city worker, a deeply introverted best friend, or anyone who suffers from severe pavement rage during their morning commute.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Organic Manufacturing\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our spatial warnings on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your demand for personal space is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOrganic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% organic ring spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStrategic Rear Deployment:\u003c\/b\u003e The graphic is deployed entirely on the reverse of the garment, maximizing the psychological impact on the specific target directly behind you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHigh Contrast Sabotage:\u003c\/b\u003e High resolution direct to garment printing ensures the dark typography and the green loading bar pop violently against the crisp white fabric, ensuring maximum legibility from a safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 155 g\/m2 single jersey fabric provides a breathable but highly durable layer of protection against unwanted social proximity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMandatory Transparency Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e Management accepts zero liability for your undergarment choices. 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