{"product_id":"my-dad-thinks-he-is-in-charge-kids-tee","title":"My Dad Thinks He Is In Charge Kids Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Parental Delusion Department\u003c\/b\u003e Welcome to the domestic hierarchy division. This 100% organic white tee introduces the world to your offspring's true assessment of paternal authority via multi-coloured retro typography. Featuring the utterly condescending statement \"My dad thinks he is in charge. It is adorable,\" it entirely rejects wholesome family dynamics in favour of supreme toddler confidence. It is the ultimate garment for children who possess zero assets and wear Velcro shoes, yet firmly believe they run the entire household.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to wrap junior executives in inferior textiles. This youth garment is built to strict premium specifications using our global network of bespoke print facilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% organic ring-spun combed cotton (Single jersey, 4.57 oz\/yd² or 155 g\/m²), meaning it is completely free of pesticides and softer than your fading authority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFit:\u003c\/b\u003e Medium fit with set-in sleeves, allowing for maximum mobility while completely ignoring parental instructions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Finished with a 1x1 rib at the collar, narrow double-needle topstitch on the sleeves and bottom hems, plus self-fabric neck tape (inside the back of the neck) to withstand aggressive playground wear and frequent laundering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eGlobal Fulfillment:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed and routed locally, meaning faster delivery times whether your domestic coup is taking place in the UK or the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance\u003c\/b\u003e When another parent reads the shirt and looks at your deflated expression, maintain unbroken eye contact and submit the evidence to our administrative peasantry by tagging \u003cb\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e on Instagram using \u003cb\u003e#thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed to outfit the entire targeted household in matching hostility? Explore our adult sizes in the \u003cb\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/vintage-phonetic-joke-t-shirts\" title=\"vintage phonetic joke t-shirts\"\u003eVintage Phonetic Joke T-Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/b\u003ecollection, or pick up a coping mechanism from our \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/vintage-phonetic-joke-t-shirts\" title=\"vintage phonetic joke t-shirts\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCheeky \u0026amp; Offensive Mugs\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e directory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBritish English:\u003c\/b\u003e Pushchair \/ Nappy \/ Mum \/ Holiday\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAmerican English:\u003c\/b\u003e Stroller \/ Diaper \/ Mom \/ Vacation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eContext:\u003c\/b\u003e A premium youth garment designed to systematically undermine paternal confidence on both sides of the Atlantic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe sizes correspond to a smaller size in the US market, so US customers should order a size up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBODY LENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST WIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3-4\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5-6\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7-8\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9-11\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBODY LENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST WIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3-4\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5-6\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e12.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7-8\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e51.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9-11\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e57.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"3-4","offer_id":54567205142870,"sku":"6462894_12327","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"5-6","offer_id":54567205175638,"sku":"6462894_12328","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"7-8","offer_id":54567205208406,"sku":"6462894_12329","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"9-11","offer_id":54567205241174,"sku":"6462894_12330","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/My_Dad_Thinks_He_Is_In_Charge_Kids_Tee.png?v=1787570658","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/my-dad-thinks-he-is-in-charge-kids-tee","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}