{"product_id":"prodigy-or-prison-we-will-see-kids-tee","title":"Prodigy Or Prison | Organic Kids Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Future Judiciary Department\u003c\/b\u003e Welcome to the long term developmental tracking division. This 100% organic white tee introduces the world to your offspring's completely unpredictable trajectory via multi-coloured retro typography, broken chains, and lightning bolt accents. Featuring the deeply realistic statement \"Prodigy or prison. We will see,\" it entirely rejects wholesome family expectations in favour of acknowledging that raising small humans is essentially a high-stakes gamble. It is the ultimate garment for children who show equal aptitude for building block towers and orchestrating minor domestic felonies before breakfast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTechnical Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to wrap future felons or geniuses in inferior textiles. This youth garment is built to strict premium specifications using our global network of bespoke print facilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% organic ring-spun combed cotton (Single jersey, 4.57 oz\/yd² or 155 g\/m²), meaning it is completely free of pesticides and softer than your lowering parenting standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFit:\u003c\/b\u003e Medium fit with set-in sleeves, allowing for maximum mobility while evading accountability during playdate disputes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurability:\u003c\/b\u003e Finished with a 1x1 rib at the collar, narrow double-needle topstitch on the sleeves and bottom hems, plus self-fabric neck tape (inside the back of the neck) to withstand aggressive playground wear and frequent laundering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eGlobal Fulfillment:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed and routed locally, meaning faster delivery times whether your household assessment is taking place in the UK or the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance\u003c\/b\u003e When another parent reads the shirt and looks at your chaotic offspring with genuine concern, maintain unbroken eye contact and submit the behavioral evidence to our administrative peasantry by tagging \u003cb\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e on Instagram using \u003cb\u003e#thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed to outfit the entire unpredictable household in matching hostility? Explore our adult sizes in the \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/vintage-phonetic-joke-t-shirts\" title=\"vintage phonetic joke t-shirt\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eVintage Phonetic Joke T-Shirts\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e collection, or pick up a coping mechanism from our \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/collections\/cheeky-offensive-mugs\" title=\"cheeky and offensive mugs\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCheeky \u0026amp; Offensive Mugs\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e directory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBritish English:\u003c\/b\u003e Pushchair \/ Nappy \/ Mum \/ Solicitor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAmerican English:\u003c\/b\u003e Stroller \/ Diaper \/ Mom \/ Attorney\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eContext:\u003c\/b\u003e A premium youth garment designed to officially lower everyone's expectations regarding your child's career path on both sides of the Atlantic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"rte-table-wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBODY LENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST WIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3-4\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5-6\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7-8\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9-11\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e12-13\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"rte-table-wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBODY LENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST WIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3-4\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5-6\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e12.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e7-8\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e51.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9-11\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e57.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e12-13\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"3-4","offer_id":54566779945302,"sku":"7275412_12327","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"5-6","offer_id":54566779978070,"sku":"7275412_12328","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"7-8","offer_id":54566780010838,"sku":"7275412_12329","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"9-11","offer_id":54566780043606,"sku":"7275412_12330","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"12-13","offer_id":54566780076374,"sku":"7275412_12331","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Prodigy_Or_Prison__Organic_Kids_Tee.png?v=1787572683","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/prodigy-or-prison-we-will-see-kids-tee","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}