{"product_id":"property-of-c-d-u-chronically-fatigued-dept-bone-hoodie","title":"Cucumber Dog Property of C.D.U. Chronically Fatigued Dept Bone Hoodie","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eThe Vibe\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eThis premium, heavyweight bone coloured hoodie from our contemporary collection is engineered for anyone who wakes up tired and immediately begins planning their next nap. The chest features a bold varsity graphic with the text 'PROPERTY OF' at the top, towering block letters spelling out 'C.D.U.' in a Cucumber Green fill with a sharp gold outline, followed by 'CHRONICALLY FATIGUED DEPT.' and 'EST. 2026' in a matching green font. It is a high end streetwear staple designed to deliver maximum warmth alongside an absolute declaration of total exhaustion for the professional slacker who understands that getting out of bed before midday is an extreme sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eFor our North American friends, please consult the following translations to ensure seamless transatlantic communication:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003eUK: Humour \/ US: Humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003eUK: Cosy \/ US: Cozy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003eUK: Colours \/ US: Colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003eUK: Centre \/ US: Center\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,4,0\"\u003eUK: Behaviour \/ US: Behavior\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,5,0\"\u003eUK: Fulfilment \/ US: Fulfillment\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eProduction and Specifications\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eWe prioritise longevity and structural integrity over fast fashion trends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrint Technology:\u003c\/b\u003e We utilise advanced DTF (Direct to Film) printing. This guarantees the green and gold collegiate graphic will maintain its crisp edges and vibrant saturation without cracking after repeated washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFabric Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Constructed with a 100 per cent cotton face for an ultra soft hand feel, backed by a 65 per cent ring spun cotton and 35 per cent polyester blend to lock in maximum warmth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eConstruction Details:\u003c\/b\u003e Features a functional front pouch pocket, matching flat drawstrings, a structured three panel hood, and a premium self fabric patch on the back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eCrucial Fit Guidance\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eThis garment runs small. For the perfect fit and an ideal relaxed drape, we highly recommend ordering one full size larger than your usual size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eShipping and Corporate Policy\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eTo maintain our stringent quality control and streamlined logistics, Cucumber Dog offers fulfilment exclusively to the USA and Canada. All orders over $60 qualify for free shipping. Because our premium apparel is manufactured via a sustainable print on demand process, we operate a strict returns policy. We only accept returns or exchanges for items that arrive damaged or defective. We absolutely do not process refunds for a change of mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Apparel, Athletic wear \u0026 Homeware","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":55530181165398,"sku":"9580087_20284","price":78.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55530181198166,"sku":"9580087_20285","price":78.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55530181230934,"sku":"9580087_20286","price":78.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55530181263702,"sku":"9580087_20287","price":78.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55530181296470,"sku":"9580087_20288","price":78.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":55530181329238,"sku":"9580087_20289","price":78.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-premium-pullover-hoodie-bone-front-6abbdce007e09.jpg?v=1790696694","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/property-of-c-d-u-chronically-fatigued-dept-bone-hoodie","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Apparel, Athletic wear \u0026 Homeware","version":"1.0","type":"link"}