{"product_id":"registered-as-unimportant-sarcastic-anti-social-t-shirt-back-print","title":"Registered As Unimportant | Funny Sarcastic Anti Social T-Shirt (Back Print)","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the psychological insignificance department. This premium white garment is a highly calibrated tool for actively lowering your social footprint. Featuring a massive dorsal print that aggressively informs the reader, \"YOUR BRAIN HAS ALREADY REGISTERED THIS AS UNIMPORTANT. YOU WILL FORGET THIS IN 3 SECONDS,\" it is the ultimate uniform for anyone who treats social interaction as a completely disposable experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Weaponised Apathy Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This garment targets the highly lucrative introvert and cynical nihilist sectors. We entirely reject the pressure to make a memorable impact in favour of weaponised forgetfulness. It is the perfect attire for slipping out of social gatherings unnoticed, avoiding follow up questions at family events, or simply reminding the general public that nothing truly matters. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who actively strives to be ignored by humans.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the deliberately unmemorable. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a deeply introverted best friend, an office colleague who excels at flying entirely under the radar, or a sibling who prefers to exist as a background character.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Combed Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our psychological warfare on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your social insignificance is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDorsal Engineering:\u003c\/b\u003e The typography is strictly printed on the back of the white garment, allowing you to deliver your message of apathy while successfully walking away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton. Pre-shrunk to prevent laundry induced rage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eArchitectural Support:\u003c\/b\u003e Engineered with rigid side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to ensure the garment does not collapse under the weight of human indifference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²) fabric weight provides a breathable layer of protection against memorable encounters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMandatory Transparency Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e Management accepts zero liability for your undergarment choices. The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through under certain lighting conditions. Please deploy adequate base layers unless you are intentionally seeking an HR violation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Armour \/ Colours \/ Weaponised \/ Realise\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Armor \/ Colors \/ Weaponized \/ Realize\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":54824867332438,"sku":"3973542_9526","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":54824867365206,"sku":"3973542_4011","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":54824867397974,"sku":"3973542_4012","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":54824867430742,"sku":"3973542_4013","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":54824867463510,"sku":"3973542_4014","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":54824867496278,"sku":"3973542_4015","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":54824867529046,"sku":"3973542_5294","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":54824867561814,"sku":"3973542_5309","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Registered_As_Unimportant__Funny_Sarcastic_Anti_Social_T-Shirt_Back_Print.png?v=1786704837","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/registered-as-unimportant-sarcastic-anti-social-t-shirt-back-print","provider":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}