{"product_id":"the-cucumber-dojo-sarcastic-graphic-black-t-shirt","title":"The Cucumber Dojo | Sarcastic Graphic Black T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the official training centre of absolute lethargy. If your preferred form of self defence is simply avoiding physical activity altogether, this premium black t-shirt is your new mandatory gi. Featuring a bold back print in our signature Cucumber Green and Cream, the graphic depicts Sir Cucumber Dog actively roundhouse kicking a stack of books labelled \"Your Motivation\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComplete with a vintage athletic aesthetic and the proud boast of \"Pulling Groins Since 2024\", this garment explicitly informs the public that your athletic peak is well behind you. Despite the ironic \"Beverley Hills, CA\" location stamp, this shirt is strictly for those who prefer to try and kick back, literally. Formally endorsed by our Chief Judgement Officer, who expects absolute structural failure and zero aerobic stamina from all enrolled students.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMaterial \u0026amp; Care Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFabric Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent combed and ring-spun cotton for a sturdy, premium feel against the skin. (Please note that while this black tee is pure cotton, any heather colour variants contain a polyester blend).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/b\u003e 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²) for a lightweight, breathable fit that requires zero athletic effort to wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eGarment Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e Pre-shrunk fabric with side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to ensure structural integrity wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCare:\u003c\/b\u003e Machine wash cold inside out with similar colours. Tumble dry on low heat. Do not iron directly over the printed graphic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Cheeky \/ Cosy \/ Centre \/ Defence\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Sassy \/ Cozy \/ Center \/ Defense\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":55325389652310,"sku":"3639276_9527","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":55325389685078,"sku":"3639276_4016","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55325389717846,"sku":"3639276_4017","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55325389750614,"sku":"3639276_4018","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55325389783382,"sku":"3639276_4019","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55325389816150,"sku":"3639276_4020","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":55325389848918,"sku":"3639276_5295","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":55325389881686,"sku":"3639276_5310","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-black-back-6aa40252bc533.jpg?v=1789133418","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/the-cucumber-dojo-sarcastic-graphic-black-t-shirt","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}