{"product_id":"the-person-wearing-this-t-shirt-funny-rude-recursive-white-tee","title":"The Person Wearing This T-Shirt | Funny Rude Recursive White Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the Department of Infinite Regress. This premium white cotton garment features our Chief Judgement Officer, Sir Cucumber Dog, framed by a mind-bending truth: \"THE PERSON WEARING THIS T-SHIRT IS WEARING THIS T-SHIRT.\" It is the ultimate casual uniform for anyone who appreciates existential paradoxes, psychological warfare, and making strangers stop in their tracks to read your chest twice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Recursive Innuendo Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This apparel asset targets the highly lucrative rude novelty sector. We entirely reject boring, plain streetwear in favour of looping logic paired with a deeply judgmental pug. It is the perfect garment for grocery store trips, pub visits, or simply enduring social gatherings with maximum sarcastic confidence. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects absolute logical looping and proper psychological distress in all civilian operations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the chronically inappropriate. This recursive t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic relative, or a partner who fancies themselves an agent of chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Textile Construction \u0026amp; Specifications\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our humorous designs on inferior fabrics. This garment is built to strict premium streetwear specifications, ensuring your domestic cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Textile Construction \u0026amp; Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe absolutely refuse to print our humorous designs on inferior fabrics. This garment is built to strict premium streetwear specifications, ensuring your domestic cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFabric Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100 per cent combed and ring-spun cotton for an ultra-soft hand feel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFabric Weight \u0026amp; Opacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Lightweight durability at 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²). Engineered with a tight weave, though please note this garment may appear slightly see-through in certain lighting conditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Fully pre-shrunk fabric to withstand frequent washing and the daily grind of dealing with fools without losing form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTailoring \u0026amp; Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Features side-seamed construction for a structured retail fit and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to eliminate stretching across the neckline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCorporate Compliance:\u003c\/b\u003e When someone stares blankly at your chest trying to process the logic, tap your collar, point directly to the text, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":55097351700822,"sku":"4669709_9526","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":55097351733590,"sku":"4669709_4011","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":55097351766358,"sku":"4669709_4012","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":55097351799126,"sku":"4669709_4013","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":55097351831894,"sku":"4669709_4014","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":55097351864662,"sku":"4669709_4015","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":55097351897430,"sku":"4669709_5294","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":55097351930198,"sku":"4669709_5309","price":21.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/The_Person_Wearing_This_T-Shirt__Funny_Rude_Recursive_White_Tee.png?v=1787678062","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/the-person-wearing-this-t-shirt-funny-rude-recursive-white-tee","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}