{"product_id":"this-is-not-a-tote-bag-sarcastic-tee","title":"\"This Is Not A Tote Bag\" Sarcastic Tee | Sir Cucumber Dog","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Literal Audit of Your Physical Form\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eIn a world obsessed with categorisation and labelling, the Chairman felt it was vital to state the bleeding obvious. This is a T-shirt. It is composed of fabric, it has sleeves, and you wear it on your torso. It is, quite demonstrably, not a tote bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThis tee is a masterclass in meta-humour, perfect for those who enjoy pointing out the literal truth with a straight face. It is our nod to high art and low-brow sarcasm, designed to leave passers-by wondering if they have had a minor neurological event or if they are just missing a very specific joke. Featuring the Sir Cucumber Dog seal of disapproval, this shirt is the ultimate anti-fashion statement. It is perfect for the supermarket run (where you will inevitably be asked if you need a bag), the pub, or any social situation where you want to clarify your physical form to the public.\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Shirt Is A Literal Triumph\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFactually Accurate:\u003c\/b\u003e It is 100 percent not a tote bag. We have conducted a thorough internal audit and confirmed the absence of handles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSubversive Sarcasm:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect way to show you are too clever for standard slogans and generic British humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoyal Mail, On The House:\u003c\/b\u003e Dispatched with Free UK Shipping, because irony should never come with a delivery fee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eExtra Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from soft, sturdy cotton. Ideal for existing as a human and not a reinforced piece of luggage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTechnical Specifications for the Discerning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFabric Composition:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid colours are 100 percent cotton. Sport Grey is 90 percent cotton and 10 percent polyester. Ash Grey is 99 percent cotton and 1 percent polyester. Heather colours are a 50\/50 blend of pure, unadulterated truth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/b\u003e A solid 170 to 180 g\/m² (5.0 to 5.3 oz\/yd²).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eConstruction:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, featuring a taped neck and shoulders. Double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem ensure it remains a shirt for the long haul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"23\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"23\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA Note On Your Order (Freshly Printed Reality)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"24\"\u003eThis shirt is not sitting in a pile of actual tote bags. Each one is printed fresh specifically for you the moment you place your order. This print-on-demand approach means it takes a little longer to arrive, but it is brilliant for cutting down on waste and protecting the planet. You are making a sensible choice. 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