{"product_id":"warning-may-stop-sarcastic-geriatric-back-print-shirt","title":"Warning May Stop Suddenly | Funny Sarcastic Anti Social T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the geriatric kinetics department. This premium white garment is not inspirational; it is a structural necessity. Utilizing an industrial safety sign layout, this t-shirt features a massive dorsal print across the back proclaiming: \"WARNING: MAY STOP WITHOUT WARNING.\" The crisp white background ensures the stark yellow and black hazard graphic cannot be missed by trailing pedestrians. It is perfectly engineered for anyone whose body has entirely embraced unpredictable kinetic properties, sudden energy depletion, or just forgetting why they started walking mid-step.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Observational Aging Hub\u003c\/b\u003e This garment targets the highly lucrative observational aging sector. We entirely reject graceful aging in favour of brutal honesty regarding unreliable anatomy. It is the perfect attire for slow walking through crowded supermarkets, abruptly stopping in doorways, or simply claiming a prestigious medical background in geriatric unpredictability. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who respects any creature that prioritises total stillness over forward momentum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTargeted Gifting Solutions\u003c\/b\u003e We provide logistical solutions for the physically exhausted. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a grandpa who constantly pauses mid-thought, or a relative celebrating a milestone birthday that signifies physical decline. Most importantly, this tee is perfect for the elderly in the world who genuinely find movement tedious and require a visible warning label for the general public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Combed Construction\u003c\/b\u003e We absolutely refuse to print our observational aging on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your kinetic failure is displayed on the highest quality canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDorsal Engineering:\u003c\/b\u003e The graphic is strictly printed on the back of the white garment to warn those directly in your walking path.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton. Pre-shrunk to prevent laundry induced rage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eArchitectural Support:\u003c\/b\u003e Engineered with rigid side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to ensure the garment does not collapse under the weight of your advanced years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eLightweight Armour:\u003c\/b\u003e The 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²) fabric weight provides a breathable layer of protection against the elements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMandatory Transparency Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e Management accepts zero liability for your undergarment choices. The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through under certain lighting conditions. Please deploy adequate base layers unless you are intentionally seeking a public incident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eColonial Translation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUK:\u003c\/b\u003e Humour \/ Favour \/ Behaviour \/ Colours \/ Armour \/ Prioritises\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eUS:\u003c\/b\u003e Humor \/ Favor \/ Behavior \/ Colors \/ Armor \/ Prioritizes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":54824904556886,"sku":"3638856_9526","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":54824904589654,"sku":"3638856_4011","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":54824904622422,"sku":"3638856_4012","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":54824904655190,"sku":"3638856_4013","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":54824904687958,"sku":"3638856_4014","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":54824904720726,"sku":"3638856_4015","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":54824904753494,"sku":"3638856_5294","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":54824904786262,"sku":"3638856_5309","price":23.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/Warning_May_Stop_Suddenly__Funny_Sarcastic_Anti_Social_T-Shirt.png?v=1786705447","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/warning-may-stop-sarcastic-geriatric-back-print-shirt","provider":"Sir Cucumber Dog | Sarcastic Mugs \u0026 Offensive British Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}