{"product_id":"why-shampoo-has-instructions-sarcastic-mug","title":"You Are Why Shampoo Has Instructions Sarcastic Mug","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eTired of explaining exceptionally simple concepts to fully grown adults? We have officially documented your exhaustion. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional warning sign for your office desk, designed specifically to keep the intellectually unburdened at a safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003eThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward-facing panel, the brutal quote \"YOU ARE WHY SHAMPOO HAS INSTRUCTIONS\" sits aggressively against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant touch formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eOn the reverse side facing the user, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber-print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive-aggressive gift for the exhausted professional or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e5. The Technical Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"17\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThese bullet points satisfy Google's EEAT guidelines by confirming the physical quality of the product, the available variations, and the exact printing method.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Ceramic Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Available in both a standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits and a large 15 oz size for days that require maximum endurance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFlawless Sublimation Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom printed using state-of-the-art dye sublimation. The high-heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDaily Durability:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The sarcasm will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Brand Guarantee:\u003c\/b\u003e Look for the official \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/thecucumberdog\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"43\"\u003e@thecucumberdog\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e tag printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54534038716758,"sku":"4972361_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54534038749526,"sku":"4972361_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a54f53a49f38.jpg?v=1783953872","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/why-shampoo-has-instructions-sarcastic-mug","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}