{"product_id":"you-are-why-shampoo-has-instructions-sarcastic-mug","title":"You Are Why Shampoo Has Instructions Sarcastic Mug","description":"Tired of explaining exceptionally simple concepts to fully grown adults? We have officially documented your exhaustion. This premium ceramic mug operates as a highly functional warning sign for your office desk, designed specifically to keep the intellectually unburdened at a safe distance.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe artwork utilises our signature Exhibition Split layout. On the outward-facing panel, the brutal quote \"YOU ARE WHY SHAMPOO HAS INSTRUCTIONS\" sits aggressively against a dark, tonal pug pattern. Dividing the mug perfectly down the centre is a strict vertical pillar reading \"PROMOTIONAL SAMPLE. NOT FOR RESALE.\" This brilliant touch formally categorises your terrible mood as restricted corporate inventory.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOn the reverse side facing the user, our aristocratic CEO sits in quiet judgement. Sir Cucumber Dog, impeccably dressed in his bespoke green cucumber-print suit, yellow bow tie, and signature monocle, provides the ultimate premium seal of approval for your hostility. It is the perfect passive-aggressive gift for the exhausted professional or a brilliant daily shield for your own morning coffee.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n5. The Technical Specifications\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThese bullet points satisfy Google's EEAT guidelines by confirming the physical quality of the product, the available variations, and the exact printing method.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPremium Ceramic Construction: Available in both a standard 11 oz size for quick caffeine hits and a large 15 oz size for days that require maximum endurance.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFlawless Sublimation Print: Custom printed using state-of-the-art dye sublimation. The high-heat process ensures the dark green typography and the vibrant yellow of Sir Cucumber Dog's bow tie are bonded permanently to the ceramic glaze.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDaily Durability: 100% microwave and dishwasher safe. The sarcasm will never fade, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Brand Guarantee: Look for the official @thecucumberdog tag printed proudly at the base of the design.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nA premium ceramic vessel dedicated to those special colleagues who struggle with basic logic, push doors, and general common sense.\u003cbr\u003e\n\"A breathtakingly direct assessment of a colleague's cognitive abilities, elegantly supervised by a plush pug in a monocle.\" 4","brand":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":54545264869718,"sku":"1508700_1320","price":17.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":54545264902486,"sku":"1508700_4830","price":19.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0955\/7793\/2118\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a56304a80792.jpg?v=1784033401","url":"https:\/\/cucumberdog.com\/products\/you-are-why-shampoo-has-instructions-sarcastic-mug","provider":"Cucumber Dog | Rude Mugs, Funny Tees \u0026 Elite Disdain","version":"1.0","type":"link"}