https://cucumberdog.com/ daily https://cucumberdog.com/products/butt-plug-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e8ee93dedd5.jpg?v=1777475339 Butt Plug Coaster Black cork-back coaster with gold geometric graphic and dotted circular border https://cucumberdog.com/products/knob-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e8ef1d45300.jpg?v=1777475341 Knob Coaster Funny cork-back coaster with 'KNOB' text in a speech bubble, colorful comic burst background https://cucumberdog.com/products/absolutely-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e8ef5cb0378.jpg?v=1777475344 Absolutely Coaster Retro cork coaster with 'Absolutely' text and colorful sunburst pattern https://cucumberdog.com/products/bending-me-over-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e8efabcca74.jpg?v=1777475348 Bending Me Over Coaster Funny black cork-back coaster with bold white text: 'Life keeps bending me over, and honestly... I don't hate it.' https://cucumberdog.com/products/stirred-with-my-balls-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e8f1c5b312e.jpg?v=1777475359 "Stirred By My Balls" Funny Explorer Mug Offensive Camping Gift & Rude Outdoor Travel Mug. White ceramic mug with comic-style man in a hat and humorous speech bubble text graphic. https://cucumberdog.com/products/make-me-moist-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e8f1ff30bb9.jpg?v=1777475374 Make Me Moist Coaster Black cork-back coaster with white bold text 'MAKE ME MOIST', funny sarcastic decor. https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-love-your-mum-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e8f24516580.jpg?v=1777475376 I Love Your Mum Coaster Funny black cork coaster with red heart and text 'I love your mum (She's fit!)' https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-only-poo-in-castles-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e8f3656c15c.jpg?v=1777475412 I Only Poo In Castles Coaster Funny cork coaster with bold yellow text saying 'I only poo in castles' on blue background. https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-think-i-was-adopted-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e9077a17d24-_1.jpg?v=1762771959 I Think I was Adopted White Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/mofo-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e908b002d46.jpg?v=1777475596 Mofo White Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-dont-fart-darling-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e90a400578b.jpg?v=1777640338 I Don't Fart Darling White Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/inside-voice-never-met-her-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68e90e4cc6f0a-_1.jpg?v=1762771744 Inside Voice? Never Met Her Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/cupid-stunt-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-68e9145fdd39c.jpg?v=1777640514 Cupid Stunt Coaster Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/busier-than-a-cucumber-in-a-womans-prison-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68f8fab3c5b80-_1.jpg?v=1762771418 Busier Than A Cucumber In A Woman's prison White Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-still-owe-jesus-a-fiver-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-68f8f3cf52b4a.jpg?v=1761145816 I Still Owe Jesus A Fiver White Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-talk-to-myself-white-glossy-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7b1a3cafbb.jpg?v=1776793393 "Talk To Myself" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog High-gloss white mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog the pug and the text "SOMETIMES I TALK TO MYSELF BECAUSE I NEED EXPERT ADVICE.." in bold green and gold lettering. https://cucumberdog.com/products/my-favourite-word-is-moist-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e79cd9b7ab3.jpg?v=1776793781 "My Favourite Word is Moist" Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog White glossy mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog the pug. The text "MY FAVOURITE WORD IS MOIST" 11oz https://cucumberdog.com/products/sir-cucumber-dog-i-woke-up-buff-again-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e75870dcbb1.jpg?v=1776769146 Sir Cucumber Dog: "I WOKE UP LOOKING BUFF. AGAIN!" Mug Funny Gym Rat Mug & Sarcastic Fitness Gift Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/anal-applause-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69e7650611e18.jpg?v=1776772791 Anal Applause Offensive Stag Do Gag Gift & Rude Secret Santa Mug A premium 11oz mug design featuring an ornate green banner with the text Founding Member: The Anal Applause Appreciation Society above a plush pug in a cucumber suit and monocle on a Cucumber cream background. Cucumber Dog. https://cucumberdog.com/products/two-brain-cells-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Sir_Cucumber_Dog_the_pug_and_the_text_Two_Brain_Cells_Fighting_for_Third_Place_in_bold_black_and_green_lettering._cucumber_dog_2f543aac-32d2-410d-a67e-20bbe56d3260.jpg?v=1789041310 Two Brain Cells Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog A white glossy mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog the pug and the text Two Brain Cells Fighting for Third Place in bold black and green lettering. https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-still-owe-jesus-a-fiver-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-695be15eed8fd.jpg?v=1767629180 I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER! Mug I STILL OWE JESUS A FIVER! Mug: Cucumber Dog novelty white ceramic mug with bold I Still Owe Jesus A Fiver! text. https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-still-live-at-home-sassy-baby-grow 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/baby-jersey-bodysuit-black-front-6989e2183de83.jpg?v=1770644006 I Still Live At Home | Sassy Baby Grow Black baby onesie with 'I STILL LIVE AT HOME' text on a white background. CUcumber Dog https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-always-crap-myself-the-honest-baby-grow 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/baby-jersey-bodysuit-black-front-6989e3f4e176b.jpg?v=1770644486 I Always Crap Myself | The Honest Baby Grow Black baby onesie with white text 'I ALWAYS CRAP MYSELF' and brand name 'Cucumber Dog' on a white background https://cucumberdog.com/products/still-smarter-than-the-dog-cheeky-baby-grow 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/baby-jersey-bodysuit-black-front-6989e5fe0a110.jpg?v=1770645006 Still Smarter Than The Dog | Cheeky Baby Grow Black baby onesie with white text 'STILL SMARTER THAN THE DOG' and brand name Cucumber Dog on a white background https://cucumberdog.com/products/milf-hunter-the-ladies-man-baby-grow 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/baby-jersey-bodysuit-black-front-6989fdf374335.jpg?v=1770651137 MILF Hunter | The "Ladies’ Man" Baby Grow Black baby onesie with 'MILF HUNTER' text on a white background https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-stink-the-brutally-honest-baby-grow 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/baby-jersey-bodysuit-royal-front-698dfc0db1b7c_d7d19031-36e6-41b3-ac69-2783db875d0a.jpg?v=1789040791 I Stink! | The Brutally Honest Baby Grow Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/future-disappointment-the-low-expectations-baby-grow 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/baby-jersey-bodysuit-red-front-698dfcf7708ac.jpg?v=1770913037 Future Disappointment | The "Low Expectations" Baby Grow Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-dont-like-you-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aec12f6e722.jpg?v=1776700214 Cucumber Dog "I Don't Like You" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Gift 11 oz I'm Not Rude I Just Don't Like You Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/my-social-battery-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aed7e388d27.jpg?v=1776679409 Cucumber Dog "My Social Battery" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Mug 11 oz My Social Battery? Permanently Low Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/stupid-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69aee12452b32.jpg?v=1776679337 Cucumber Dog "Stupid" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Pug Design 11 oz I'd Agree With You But Then We'd Both Be Stupid Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/grumpy-aristocrat-this-could-have-been-an-email-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b00a1ccd7b6.jpg?v=1776678971 Grumpy Aristocrat - 'This Could Have Been An Email' White Mug 11 oz This Could Have Been An Email Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/current-mood-pretending-to-work-mug-funny-office-gift 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b00b9c8d325.jpg?v=1776441618 The Pretending to Work Ceramic Mug: Professional Loitering for the Elite 11 oz Current Mood.. Pretending to work! Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-tried-being-normal-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0181e48e43.jpg?v=1776440883 "I Tried Being Normal" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift 11 oz I tried Being Normal. Worst Five Minutes Of My Life. Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/not-a-morning-or-afternoon-person-mug-funny-sarcastic-gift 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b04f5cc08bd.jpg?v=1776356180 Cucumber Dog "Not a Morning Person" Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift 11 oz I'm Not A Morning Person Or An Afternoon Person Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/proud-team-player-i-hate-you-all-mug-funny-sarcastic-work-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-69b0533e2a40b.jpg?v=1776354692 Cucumber Dog "Proud Team Player" Mug | Funny Rude Work Mug 11 oz Proud Team Player I Hate You All Sir Cucumber Dog Mug https://cucumberdog.com/products/busier-than-a-cucumber-mug-funny-rude-sir-cucumber-dog-gift 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/busier_than_a_cucumber_in_a_woman_s_prison_funny_rude_Cucumber_Dog_mug.jpg?v=1777195749 The Ultimate Boundary Setting Device: The "Busier Than A Cucumber" Mug A tilted white ceramic mug with a large dark green label. In the centre of the label, a pug named Sir Cucumber Dog sits in an armchair wearing a cucumber suit and monocle. The white text reads BUSIER THAN A CUCUMBER IN A WOMAN S PRISON. https://cucumberdog.com/products/how-to-pick-up-chicks-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/How_to_pick_up_chicks_mug_funny_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777115111 The Literal Guide to Romance: The "How to Pick Up Chicks" Mug A white ceramic mug featuring a vibrant, hand-drawn style illustration of a man cradling a large, overflowing cluster of fluffy yellow baby chicks. Bold text above the illustration reads "How to pick up CHICKS." https://cucumberdog.com/products/dear-dad-thanks-for-not-wiping-me-on-a-sock-funny-white-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Dear_Dad_thanks_for_not_wiping_me_on_a_sock_funny_mug_cucumber_dog.jpg?v=1777108322 Dear Dad Thanks For Not Wiping Me On A Sock | Funny White Mug A tilted white ceramic mug on a light beige surface. The design features playful, hand drawn style text that reads DEAR DAD THANKS FOR NOT WIPING ME ON A SOCK. The typography is surrounded by whimsical icons including a pink patterned sock, a smiling stick figure, a gold best child medal, and small sun and heart illustrations. https://cucumberdog.com/products/sometimes-i-lick-the-spoon-mug-funny-rude-gag-gift 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/sometimes_i_lick_the_spoon_and_put_it_back_to_feel_naughty_mug_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777036858 Sometimes I Lick The Spoon Mug | Funny Rude Gag Gift A white ceramic mug featuring playful and colourful typography in blue, pink, orange, and purple. The text reads SOMETIMES I LICK THE SPOON AND PUT IT BACK IT MAKES ME FEEL NAUGHTY. The design is decorated with small hand drawn icons of spoons, stars, a bag of flour, and a winking emoji with its tongue sticking out. https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-did-debbie-in-dallas-vintage-rude-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/I_Did_Debbie_in_Dallas__Vintage_Rude_Funny_Ceramic_Mug_4f663f1a-3050-4308-8022-68548e67da57.png?v=1789040693 I Did Debbie in Dallas | Vintage Rude Funny Ceramic Mug Retro 1970s style ceramic coffee mug featuring a winking cheerleader illustration, the Dallas skyline, and text reading I Did Debbie in Dallas, It is not what you think! https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-im-a-wet-fart-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Funny-white-ceramic-mug-tilted-featuring-a-beige-label-with-the-rude-quote-I-m-the-human-equival_2025_1.png?v=1789040684 The Ultimate Badge of Mediocrity: The "Wet Fart" Edition Mug Funny white ceramic mug tilted, featuring a beige label with the rude quote I'm the human equivalent of a wet fart. https://cucumberdog.com/products/cum-on-eileen-retro-pop-art-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Cum_On_Eileen_Retro_Pop_Art_Mug_1f6bcc66-dc93-4967-ac12-f219978c686b.png?v=1789040645 The Literal Anthem: The "Come On Eileen" Scandalous Mug A pop art comic style illustration on a white ceramic mug. A woman with vintage styled brown hair in a blue shirt whispers the phrase CUM ON EILEEN? into a speech bubble. In the background, a second woman in a pink shirt looks shocked with her hand over her mouth, and her speech bubble says EWWW!. The design features a 1950s aesthetic with classic comic book Ben Day dots. https://cucumberdog.com/products/youre-not-aging-well-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/You_re_not_ageing_like_a_fine_funny_birthday_cucumber_dog_mug.jpg?v=1777037775 "You're Not Aging Well" Funny Birthday Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog White glossy mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog the pug. The text "YOU'RE NOT AGEING LIKE A FINE WINE. YOU'RE AGEING LIKE MILK. SOUR AND HARD TO LOOK AT." is rendered in Cucumber green over a vibrant cream background banner. https://cucumberdog.com/products/surviving-funny-work-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Cucumber_Dog_Surviving_is_an_Achievement_funny_mug.jpg?v=1777037691 "Surviving Is An Achievement" Sarcastic Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog White glossy mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog with the text "Surviving is an achievement i guess. it's not like you've done anything else" in Cucumber green and yellow. https://cucumberdog.com/products/still-utterly-useless-birthday-mug-sir-cucumber-dog 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Another_year_still_utterly_useless_funny_birthday_Cucumber_Dog_Mug.jpg?v=1777037513 "Still Utterly Useless" Birthday Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog White glossy mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog the pug. The text "ANOTHER YEAR... STILL UTTERLY USELESS." is rendered in Cucumber green. Cucumber Dog. https://cucumberdog.com/products/promoted-beyond-your-competence-office-mug-sir-cucumber-dog 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_sarcastic_promotion_mug_Cucumber_Dog_mug_with_the_text_reads_YOU_HAVE_BEEN_PROMOTED_BEYOND_YOUR_LEVEL_OF_COMPETENCE_followed_by_CONGRATULATIONS_ON_THE_ACCIDENT.jpg?v=1777037414 The Accidental Promotion Mug: A Celebration of Incompetence A sarcastic promotion mug design featuring an ornate gold frame. The text reads YOU HAVE BEEN PROMOTED BEYOND YOUR LEVEL OF COMPETENCE followed by CONGRATULATIONS ON THE ACCIDENT. Beside the text is an illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog, a pug in a green cucumber print suit and monocle, sitting in a worn armchair. https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-fart-in-lifts-funny-rude-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/I_Fart_In_Lifts_Funny_Cucumber_Dog_Mug.jpg?v=1777037107 The I Fart In Lifts Ceramic Mug: A Masterclass in Social Distancing A funny ceramic mug with a dark green background. It shows a cartoon of a sweaty man in a lift with a green gas cloud behind him. Large cream text reads I FART IN LIFTS. https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-linguistic-ultimatum-the-u-matters-ceramic-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_white_ceramic_mug_with_a_Union_Jack_background._Sir_Cucumber_Dog_sits_in_an_armchair_between_a_UK_and_US_flag._Text_on_a_scroll_reads_Colour_Honour_Behaviour._It_is_NOT_THAT_HARD_AM.jpg?v=1777111777 Funny Grammar Police Mug A white ceramic mug with a Union Jack background. Sir Cucumber Dog sits in an armchair between a UK and US flag. Text on a scroll reads Colour, Honour, Behaviour. It is NOT THAT HARD, AMERICA https://cucumberdog.com/products/intellectual-alibi-book-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/The_Intellectual_Alibi_The_Full_of_Books_Organic_Tote_Cucumber_Dog.png?v=1777384047 The Intellectual Alibi: The "Full of Books" Organic Tote A heavyweight black organic cotton tote bag featuring bold Cucumber cream typography that reads: FULL OF BOOKS. I LIKE READING. The design includes the website URL CUCUMBERDOG.COM and an illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog—a plush pug in a dapper green cucumber-print suit and monocle—sitting regally in an ornate armchair. https://cucumberdog.com/products/full-books-oyster-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/The_Intellectual_Alibi_The_Full_of_Books_Organic_Tote_Oyster_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777382639 The Intellectual Alibi: The "Full of Books" Organic Tote Oyster A heavy duty oyster coloured organic cotton tote bag featuring bold Cucumber green text that reads FULL OF BOOKS. I LIKE READING. Below the text is the website CUCUMBERDOG.COM and a small illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog, a pug wearing a green cucumber print suit and monocle, sitting in a dapper armchair. https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-official-standard-sir-cucumber-dog-portrait-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/The_Official_Standard_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_Double-Sided_Black_Tote_Bag.jpg?v=1777376845 The Official Standard: Sir Cucumber Dog Double-Sided Black Tote Bag A heavy-duty black organic cotton tote bag featuring a high-definition illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog on the front with the text SIR CUCUMBER DOG. The back features the website CUCUMBERDOG.COM in cream text. https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-pretentious-parody-le-sac-de-tout-organic-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/The_Pretentious_Parody_Le_Sac_De_Tout_Organic_Tote_Bag_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777372697 The Pretentious Parody: "Le Sac De Tout" Organic Tote A heavy duty oyster coloured organic cotton tote bag. The front features the text LE SAC DE TOUT over a green banner reading FACTORY MADE. Below is a plush pug named Sir Cucumber Dog wearing a green suit and monocle, followed by the text CONTAINS NOTHING. PARIS. LONDON. TOKYO. The back displays the text CUCUMBERDOG.COM in green. https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-noir-edition-le-sac-de-tout-black-organic-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/The_Noir_Edition_Le_Sac_De_Tout_Black_Organic_Tote_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777384086 The Noir Edition: "Le Sac De Tout" Black Organic Tote A heavy-duty deep black organic cotton tote bag. The front features text in a pale cream color: LE SAC DE TOUT over a cream banner reading FACTORY MADE. Below is a detailed illustration of a pug named Sir Cucumber Dog wearing a green suit, monocle, and bow tie, followed by the cream text CONTAINS NOTHING. PARIS. LONDON. TOKYO. The back displays the cream text CUCUMBERDOG.COM. https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-artefact-of-avoidance-disdain-stone-relief-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_heavy_duty_oyster_organic_cotton_tote_bag_featuring_a_black_rectangular_print._Inside_the_black_area_is_a_realistic_3D_stone_carving_of_the_word_DISDAIN_with_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_s.jpg?v=1777466121 The Artefact of Avoidance: "Disdain" Stone Relief Tote A heavy duty oyster organic cotton tote bag featuring a black rectangular print. Inside the black area is a realistic 3D stone carving of the word DISDAIN with Sir Cucumber Dog's profile hidden in the letter N. Green text below reads PROUD MEMBER CUCUMBERDOG.COM. https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-noir-artefact-disdain-black-on-black-stone-relief-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_heavy-duty_black_organic_cotton_tote_bag_featuring_a_realistic_3D_stone_carving_of_the_word_DISDAIN._Sir_Cucumber_Dog_s_profile_is_hidden_in_the_letter_N._Cream_text_below_reads_PRO.jpg?v=1777465983 The Noir Artefact: "Disdain" Black-on-Black Stone Relief Tote The Noir Artefact: "Disdain" Black-on-Black Stone Relief Tote https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-meaningless-sunrise-large-black-eco-tote-bag-sir-cucumber-dog 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Funny_Meaningless_Sunrise_Black_Eco_Tote_Bag_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1777562439 The Meaningless Sunrise Large Black Eco Tote Bag | Sir Cucumber Dog A large black eco tote bag featuring a retro 1970s design of a smiling sun and mountains with the funny, nonsensical quote You Can Not Hear The Sunrise If Your Shoes Are Tied. https://cucumberdog.com/products/precise-guesswork-eco-tote 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_large_black_eco_tote_bag_featuring_a_green_circle_with_a_question_mark_and_the_text_The_Precise_Guesswork_Association_Never_Right_Never_In_Doubt..png?v=1777565312 The Precise Guesswork Association Large Black Eco Tote Bag | Sir Cucumber Dog A large black eco tote bag featuring a green circle with a question mark and the text The Precise Guesswork Association, Never Right, Never In Doubt. https://cucumberdog.com/products/underwater-kite-flying-association-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/The_Underwater_Kite_Flying_Association_Office_Mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.jpg?v=1778082764 The Underwater Kite Flying Association Office Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog A white ceramic mug featuring a retro illustration of a vintage deep sea diver underwater attempting to fly a blue and yellow kite among fish and seaweed. The circular nautical rope border reads The Underwater Kite Flying Association, Est. 1983, Since then, no progress. https://cucumberdog.com/products/nocturnal-sunbathing-union-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_circular_illustration_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_a_ginger_man_in_sunglasses_lounging_on_a_deckchair_at_night._He_is_holding_Factor_100_sun_cream_under_a_crescent_moon._Text_reads_No.jpg?v=1778084227 The Nocturnal Sunbathing Union Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog A circular illustration on a ceramic mug featuring a ginger man in sunglasses lounging on a deckchair at night. He is holding Factor 100 sun cream under a crescent moon. Text reads Nocturnal Sunbathing Union, The Shade is Real. https://cucumberdog.com/products/if-cats-could-send-birthday-cards-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_sitting_next_to_a_ginger_cat_and_a_small_table._Text_reads_If_Cats_could_Send_Birthday_Cards..._THEY_WOULDN_T..jpg?v=1778147481 If Cats Could Send Birthday Cards Funny Mug | 11oz & 15oz A funny graphic on a ceramic mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog sitting next to a ginger cat and a small table. Text reads, If Cats could Send Birthday Cards... THEY WOULDN'T. https://cucumberdog.com/products/morning-pug-accino-funny-coffee-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_a_pug_in_a_green_suit_and_monocle_sitting_inside_a_giant_cappuccino_cup._Text_reads_MORNING_PUG-ACCINO..jpg?v=1778159097 Morning Pug-accino Funny Coffee Mug A funny graphic on a ceramic mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, a pug in a green suit and monocle, sitting inside a giant cappuccino cup. Text reads MORNING PUG-ACCINO. https://cucumberdog.com/products/kindly-pardon-my-arrogance-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_funny_graphic_on_a_ceramic_mug_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_inside_an_ornate_wooden_crest._Below_him_is_a_judge_s_gavel_and_a_gold_seal._Text_reads_KINDLY_PARDON_MY_ARROGANCE_BUT..._Y.jpg?v=1778159583 Kindly Pardon My Arrogance Funny Mug | Sir Cucumber Dog A funny graphic on a ceramic mug featuring Sir Cucumber Dog inside an ornate wooden crest. Below him is a judge's gavel and a gold seal. Text reads: KINDLY PARDON MY ARROGANCE, BUT... YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE TWAT! https://cucumberdog.com/products/funny-pug-tote-bag-morning-pug-accino 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_funny_graphic_on_a_large_tote_bag_featuring_Sir_Cucumber_Dog_a_pug_in_a_green_suit_and_monocle_sitting_inside_a_giant_cappuccino_cup._Text_reads_MORNING_PUG-ACCINO._1_1.webp?v=1779200273 Morning Pug-accino Large Eco Tote Bag | Sir Cucumber Dog A funny pug tote bag featuring Sir Cucumber Dog bathing in a morning cappuccino. https://cucumberdog.com/products/indoor-hang-gliding-club-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/indoor_hang_gliding_club_cucumber_dog_mug.webp?v=1779198090 The Indoor Hang Gliding Club Funny Aviator Mug A circular vintage emblem on a transparent background. It reads THE INDOOR HANG GLIDING CLUB EST. YESTERDAY (PROBABLY). Inside, Sir Cucumber Dog wears a tweed suit and aviator goggles, strapped to a hang glider that is attached to a ceiling fan. 11 oz https://cucumberdog.com/products/beautiful-unicorn-funny-sarcastic-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_funny_chaotic_illustration_on_a_white_ceramic_mug_of_a_deranged_ugly_unicorn_with_bloodshot_eyes_crooked_teeth_and_messy_pastel_hair._The_text_reads_OOH_I_M_A_BEAUTIFUL_UNICORN_surr.webp?v=1779198009 Ooh I'm A Beautiful Unicorn Funny Mug A funny, chaotic illustration on a white ceramic mug of a deranged, ugly unicorn with bloodshot eyes, crooked teeth, and messy pastel hair. The text reads OOH I'M A BEAUTIFUL UNICORN surrounded by small stars. https://cucumberdog.com/products/another-year-of-uselessness-interactive-birthday-mug-11oz-15oz 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/another-year-of-uselessness-interactive-birthday-mug_Sir_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197915 Another Year of Uselessness Interactive Birthday Mug A two sided ceramic mug design on a cream background with a green cucumber border. The front features Sir Cucumber Dog in a green suit adjusting a monocle with the text ANOTHER YEAR OF USELESSNESS and HAPPY F*CKING BIRTHDAY. The back features text stating A MUG IS A BETTER CARD and a fill in the blank template for insults. 11 oz https://cucumberdog.com/products/expected-you-to-die-doing-something-stupid-birthday-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/HAPPY_BIRTHDAY_from_someone_who_fully_expected_you_to_DIE_doing_something_STUPID_by_now._Mug_Cucumber_Dog.webp?v=1779197807 Expected You To Die Doing Something Stupid Funny Birthday Mug A funny graphic on a transparent background featuring Sir Cucumber Dog, a pug in a green suit and monocle, raising a champagne glass. Text reads: HAPPY BIRTHDAY from someone who fully expected you to DIE doing something STUPID by now. https://cucumberdog.com/products/keep-calm-what-the-f-ck-do-you-want-funny-office-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/Keep_Calm_What_The_Fck_Do_You_Want_Funny_Office_Mug.webp?v=1786536937 The "What Do You Want?" Sir Cucumber Dog Office Mug (Keep Calm Parody) A funny, elegant graphic on a dark green textured background with a gold border. Features a pug named Sir Cucumber Dog wearing a monocle and suit, holding a teacup next to the text KEEP CALM AND WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU WANT?! (EST. 1823 - A MASTERCLASS IN THE SEVERE STARE). 11 oz https://cucumberdog.com/products/ding-dong-the-bitch-is-gone-rude-pug-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-6a8da5c4ca11b_907d9f62-2644-479e-ab2a-c98d66b4f177.png?v=1789040456 Ding Dong The Bitch Is Gone | Funny Rude Pug Mug White glossy ceramic coffee mug featuring an illustration of Sir Cucumber Dog in a green suit with a monocle, giving a thumbs up, surrounded by gold starbursts and vintage text that reads Ding Dong The Bitch Is Gone! https://cucumberdog.com/products/id-agree-with-you-ceramic-office-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/id-agree-with-you-pug-office-mug.jpg?v=1779381707 I'd Agree With You Funny Coworker Mug Sir Cucumber Dog "I'd Agree With You, But Then We'd Both Be Fucking Idiots" premium ceramic office mug on a cream background. https://cucumberdog.com/products/dogs-obey-cats-consult-ceramic-office-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/dogs-obey-cats-consult-funny-pet-mug_jpg.jpg?v=1779812049 Dogs Obey, Cats Consult Mug A premium 11 oz ceramic office mug featuring a humorous comparison between dogs and cats. The text reads "Dogs obey. Cats consult their diaries and return your call." in dark green vintage typography on a cream background. To the right sits Sir Cucumber Dog, a plush pug wearing a green cucumber-print suit, yellow bow tie, and a cucumber slice monocle. To the left, an orange tabby cat stares back in profile. https://cucumberdog.com/products/sir-cucumber-dog-sweeping-the-floor-with-your-nuts-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/congratulations_sweeping_your_nuts.jpg?v=1780041590 Sir Cucumber Dog "Sweeping The Floor With Your Nuts" Mug Sir Cucumber Dog plush pug in a cucumber green suit and yellow bow tie on a distressed vintage parchment background with the text congratulations you are officially one year closer to sweeping the floor with your nuts. https://cucumberdog.com/products/funny-enormous-infant-head-mum-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/11oz-funny-mum-apology-ceramic-mug.jpg?v=1780486857 Sir Cucumber Dog Enormous Infant Head Mum Ceramic Mug | Cucumber Dog A white 11 oz ceramic coffee mug printed with a funny graphic of Sir Cucumber Dog in a green suit and top hat, alongside the quote: MUM, I AM PROFOUNDLY SORRY FOR WHAT MY ENORMOUS INFANT HEAD DID TO YOUR PELVIC FLOOR. https://cucumberdog.com/products/sir-cucumber-dog-agree-with-you-funny-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/id-agree-with-you-sarcastic-cork-coaster_273ddf9c-edd1-4b6b-a7e4-c98ef3bb56c6.png?v=1789040439 Sir Cucumber Dog "I'd Agree With You" Funny Pug Coaster Sir Cucumber Dog "I'd Agree With You" Funny Pug Coaster https://cucumberdog.com/products/sir-cucumber-dog-lick-spoon-funny-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/funny-rude-office-desk-drinks-mat_edf0482b-5715-41e4-bc88-6c35822b77ad.png?v=1789040433 Sir Cucumber Dog "Lick The Spoon" Funny Novelty Coaster Sir Cucumber Dog "Lick The Spoon" Funny Novelty Coaster https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-wasnt-kung-fu-fighting-retro-pop-art-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/kung-fu-fighting-sarcastic-coaster.jpg?v=1781191791 The "Kung Fu Fighting" Retro Pop Art Coaster Vintage comic book style coaster featuring a sarcastic dialogue between two people saying 'I wasn't kung fu fighting!' and 'Me neither!' https://cucumberdog.com/products/happy-womb-expulsion-anniversary-funny-birthday-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-6a4e50a49c4a0.jpg?v=1783517404 Happy Womb-Expulsion Anniversary | Funny Birthday Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/sir-cucumber-dog-respect-the-wood-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-6a4e518435ad8_6749fa68-778c-4345-b6df-6338756bd626.jpg?v=1789040426 Sir Cucumber Dog Respect The Wood Coaster Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-family-mistake-premium-sarcastic-coaster 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/cork-back-coaster-front-6a4e60cbabf4b.jpg?v=1783521510 The 'Family Mistake' Premium Sarcastic Coaster Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-adore-vs-tolerate-sarcastic-pet-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/The_Adore_vs._Tolerate_Sarcastic_Pet_Mug.jpg?v=1783690626 The 'Adore vs. Tolerate' Sarcastic Pet Mug A premium cream ceramic mug featuring a happy golden retriever thinking I adore you, an indifferent black and white cat thinking I tolerate you, and Sir Cucumber Dog in a bespoke green suit judging them from a leather armchair. https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-genuinely-exhausting-office-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-right-6a4fa3779923a.jpg?v=1783690422 The 'Genuinely Exhausting' Office Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/the-morning-peasant-sarcastic-coffee-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/A_funny_cream_ceramic_mug_featuring_a_furious_pug_in_a_green_suit_reading_Good_morning_to_everyone_except_you_by_Sir_Cucumber_Dog..jpg?v=1783689976 The 'Morning Peasant' Sarcastic Coffee Mug A funny cream ceramic mug featuring a furious pug in a green suit reading Good morning to everyone except you, by Sir Cucumber Dog. https://cucumberdog.com/products/relentless-conversational-hostage-taker-sarcastic-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5625d9c6337.jpg?v=1784030721 Relentless Conversational Hostage Taker | Sarcastic Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/your-presence-is-an-hr-violation-sarcastic-work-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a562627109b0.jpg?v=1784030798 Your Presence Is An HR Violation | Sarcastic Work Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/immense-joy-the-second-you-leave-rude-colleague-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a56267a1053b.jpg?v=1784030888 Immense Joy The Second You Leave | Rude Colleague Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/charisma-of-a-damp-rag-funny-colleague-coffee-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a5626fec4368.jpg?v=1784031026 Charisma Of A Damp Rag | Funny Colleague Coffee Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/why-animals-eat-their-young-sarcastic-colleague-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a562e07edaea.jpg?v=1784032822 Why Animals Eat Their Young | Sarcastic Colleague Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/i-lack-the-crayons-to-explain-this-sarcastic-desk-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a562e89a88ff.jpg?v=1784032952 I Lack The Crayons To Explain This | Sarcastic Desk Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/absolute-masterclass-in-incompetence-funny-work-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0955/7793/2118/files/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-handle-on-left-6a562ed376737.jpg?v=1784033055 Absolute Masterclass In Incompetence | Funny Work Mug Product mockup https://cucumberdog.com/products/jealous-of-people-who-have-never-met-you-funny-mug 2026-09-29T23:35:45+01:00 daily 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