Got it! Let’s inject some more fun into this. Here is the fully rewritten product description, with an even cheekier, on-brand message at the end.

The Gher-King T-Shirt
All hail the King! No, not that one with the corgis. We’re talking about a real monarch of impeccable taste and questionable life choices: The Gher-King. Sir Cucumber Dog has officially claimed his throne, and this T-shirt is his royal uniform.

Forget boring clothes. This shirt announces your allegiance to the one true pug-in-charge. Featuring the iconic silhouette of our glorious leader and his official title, this design is for those who appreciate the finer things in life: ridiculous puns, grumpy-faced dogs, and pickled vegetables.

You’re not just buying a T-shirt; you’re joining a slightly weird, cucumber-scented movement. It’s the perfect way to show the world you’re kind of a big dill.

Made from quality fabric built to last, this tee is perfect for lounging on your throne, demanding snacks, or causing a scene in the pickle aisle at Tesco.

As a gift from your benevolent ruler, shipping within the UK is absolutely FREE!

Don’t be a wally. Bend the knee and add The Gher-King to your basket. Your wardrobe is begging you.

Product Details:
100% cotton

Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester

Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester

Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester

Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)

Open-end yarn

Tubular fabric

Taped neck and shoulders

Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem

Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Disclaimers:
Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.

A Mega-Important Message!
Alright, settle down! Don’t get your knickers in a twist about delivery times. We make this gear fresh-to-order the second you buy it, so it takes a tad longer to get to you. This clever method means we don’t create a mountain of unsold tat, which is brilliant ’cause, you know, saving the planet and all that jazz. So, give yourself a pat on the back for being a thoughtful shopper instead of a total plonker. Nice one!