Cucumber Dog: Sarcastic Heavyweight Streetwear & Hostile Drinkware
Welcome to Cucumber Dog. We specialise in heavyweight streetwear for the actively inactive and vintage British drinkware for the chronically irritated. Whether you are looking for premium fleece to wear while avoiding society or a beautifully crafted mug that insults your guests, our catalogue provides everything you need to maintain a strict barrier between yourself and the outside world.
DESIGNED IN SOUTHAMPTON, UK | MANUFACTURED & FULFILLED EXCLUSIVELY IN NORTH AMERICA
Collections
Meet The Chief Judgement Officer
If our apparel feels like it is judging you, that is because it is. Allow us to introduce Sir Cucumber Dog, our resident mascot and official Chief Judgement Officer.
Resplendent in his bespoke green cucumber print suit, a crisp yellow bow tie, and his signature cucumber slice monocle, he is the mastermind behind our entire operation. Please note: Sir Cucumber Dog is not a plush toy available for purchase. He is the boss. He oversees every heavyweight hoodie and DTF printed tee that leaves our facility, ensuring our sarcastic streetwear meets his uncompromising standards for premium quality and dry, unapologetic wit.
If you are easily offended, he suggests you look elsewhere. If you are ready to upgrade your wardrobe with zero corporate filter, you are in exactly the right place.
The Slang Edit
The Cucumber Dog
Deadpan British humour and vintage collegiate apparel, masterminded by a pug in a cucumber suit.
Retro Collegiate Hoodies & Sarcastic Academic Apparel
Rude Vintage Mugs
Related products
Follow us @THECUCUMBERDOG
