ABOUT US

Our Story (Sort Of)

Cucumber Dog exists for a single noble purpose: to create gifts that make people properly lose it. Ugly laughter. Tea-spitting laughter. The kind that makes your nan quietly reconsider her will.

The creative mastermind behind this chaos?
A grumpy pug wearing a cucumber eye mask.

Cucumber Dog is our mascot, our spirit guide, and our unelected supreme leader. When he’s not demanding snacks or farting with worrying confidence, he oversees all creative decisions with the kind of lazy disdain most of us can only dream of.

We started with mugs ruder than your uncle after three pints…
Then came tees, totes, coasters, cards…
And now?
We’ve invaded the rest of your home with bath mats, indoor door mats, and glass chopping boards — because if we’re going to bring chaos, we’re doing it room-by-room.

The Brains (and Farts) Behind the Brand

Meet Cucumber Dog — our pug, our boss, our chaos engine.

His qualifications include:

  • A PhD in Napping

  • A minor in Snack Procurement

  • Growling at fonts that are “too bloody cheerful”

  • Approving slogans using a well-timed fart fired directly at the printer

He is the reason the office smells faintly of dog biscuits and regret.
Without him, Cucumber Dog would probably be a boring, sensible brand… and nobody wants that.

Our Glorious Mission (If You Can Call It That)

We’re not trying to change the world.
We’re trying to make it far less beige.

Our mission follows three sacred rules:

1. Make people laugh out loud
The “strangers stare at you on the bus” kind.

2. Say the quiet part loud
With mugs, mats, boards and tees that politely say: absolutely not.

3. Help you win every gift-giving moment
You know that gift that gets passed around the room?
Yeah — that’s us.

From “Absolute Bellend” mugs to door mats that greet guests with emotional damage… we’re here to cause unforgettable scenes.

Print-On-Demand: Why We Don’t Have a Warehouse of Sad Mugs

Everything we sell — mugs, tees, coasters, bath mats, door mats, chopping boards and more — is printed on demand.

Why?

  • Less Waste – No landfill-worthy piles of tat.

  • More Freedom – We can create totally unhinged designs whenever we fancy.

  • Made for You – Every item is freshly printed to match your questionable taste.

It takes a touch longer to arrive, but that’s because it wasn’t sitting on a shelf collecting dust — it was made just for you.

Free UK Shipping. Zero Bullsh*t.

No sneaky fees.
No checkout disappointment.
Every order ships FREE within the UK — no minimum spend.

Join the Cult of Questionable Taste

If you’ve made it to this bit, you’re officially one of us.

Follow our antics, join the newsletter (we promise it won’t be boring), or send us the filthiest idea you think would look great on a mug, bath mat… or chopping board.
We thrive on inappropriate inspiration.