The Pug. The Myth. The Dapper Little Menace.

Allow us to introduce the distinguished face of our brand: Sir Cucumber Dog. He is not merely a plush toy pug; he is an institution. A vision in lime green (#bfe843), he is the only pug in existence who can look down his nose at you while standing only twelve inches tall.

The Look: A Bespoke Green Cucumber-Print Suit

Sir Cucumber Dog believes that if one must be a dog, one should at least be a well-dressed one. He is permanently attired in his bespoke cucumber-print suit, tailored to accommodate his substantial lunch habits.

Accessories are non-negotiable for this high-end plush pug. He sports a dashing yellow bow tie and views the plebeians (that’s you) through a signature cucumber monocle. He is, quite frankly, dressed better than most of us on a wedding day.

The Personality: Chief Judgement Officer

Don’t let the adorable squashed face fool you. Sir Cucumber Dog possesses a stiff upper lip, a dry wit, and a complete lack of patience for stupidity.

As our Chief Judgement Officer, he oversees our entire range of funny and rude designs. Every piece of merchandise must pass his rigorous inspection:

• Indoor Door Mats: From "Shoes Off Peasant" to blunt warnings for guests, these washable non-slip mats are designed to trap dirt and discourage unwanted conversation.

• Funny Bath Mats: Because the judgement shouldn't stop at the front door; Sir Cucumber Dog expects your bathroom floor to be as cheeky as your hallway.

• The Over 18's Collection: For those who prefer their humour unfiltered, Sir Cucumber Dog personally curates our Over 18's page, featuring our most offensive mugs, rude coasters, and adult-themed tees.

• The Quality Standard: If a design doesn’t make him snort-laugh or gasp in mock horror, it simply doesn’t make the cut.

Sir Cucumber Dog’s Vital Statistics

• Breed: Pug (Royal lineage, or so he claims).

• Favourite Colour: Lime Green (obviously).

• Favourite Snack: Cucumber sandwiches (crusts cut off) or a custard cream.

• Pet Peeve: People who ask "Can I pet the dog?" without addressing him as "Sir" first.

• Role: Inspecting our novelty merchandise and looking judgementally at the staff when tea is served late.

"One looks at the state of the world, sighs, adjusts one's monocle, and buys a mug with a swear word on it. It’s the British way." — Sir Cucumber Dog.

"One looks at the state of the world, sighs, adjusts one's monocle, and buys a mug with a swear word on it. It’s the British way." — Sir Cucumber Dog