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  • Vintage style illustration on the back of a white t-shirt featuring a timber-framed Tudor style cider brewery with barrels, an orchard, and smoke rising from the chimney. The bold text above and below reads The D.X. Inn Cider Brewery, Nothing warms you up quite like a D.X. Inn cider ya!
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The D.X. Inn Cider | Funny Rude Retro Brewery Innuendo White Tee

The D.X. Inn Cider | Funny Rude Retro Brewery Innuendo White Tee

£21.99

Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating

1 2 3 4 5

"Combining rustic timber-framed architecture with phonetic pub innuendo is a masterclass in textile subversion. I demand my cider warm and my wordplay thoroughly offensive. Highly approved for weekend wear."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)

🚚 Estimated delivery:

Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.

Welcome to the heritage brewing department. This premium white cotton garment features a masterfully illustrated 17th-century timber-framed cider house, entirely compromised by the bold banner proclaiming "The D.X. Inn Cider Brewery" and finished with the unforgettable sign-off: "Nothing warms you up quite like a D.X. Inn cider ya!" It is the ultimate casual uniform for anyone who appreciates rustic aesthetics, fine orchard beverages, and making strangers read questionable sentences out loud.

The Heritage Innuendo Hub This apparel asset targets the highly lucrative rude novelty sector. We entirely reject boring, plain streetwear in favour of classic tavern architecture coupled with blatant phonetic double entendres. It is the perfect garment for weekend pub sessions, backyard barbecues, or simply enduring social gatherings with maximum sarcastic confidence. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects absolute traditional excellence and proper beverage warmth in all social operations.

Targeted Gifting Solutions We provide logistical solutions for the chronically inappropriate. This rude t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic relative, or a partner who fancies themselves a connoisseur of local brews.

Premium Textile Construction We absolutely refuse to print our humorous designs on inferior fabrics. This garment is built to strict premium streetwear specifications, ensuring your domestic cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.

  • Structural Integrity: Crafted from 100 per cent ring-spun cotton to withstand the daily grind of dealing with fools and frequent pub visits.

  • Fit & Tailoring: A clean, classic retail fit designed for maximum comfort whether you are lounging at home or propping up the local bar.

  • Printing Precision: Utilises high-grade direct-to-garment technology to ensure the rich timber greens, warm cider ambers, and vintage typography remain sharp through extreme wear and heavy washing.

  • Corporate Compliance: When someone asks about your shirt at the bar, take a slow sip of your pint, point directly to the back hem, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.

Colonial Translation

  • UK: Humour / Favour / Behaviour / Colours / Cheeky

  • US: Humor / Favor / Behavior / Colors / Sassy
Delivery & Returns

very product is custom manufactured to order. This prevents mass-production landfill waste and ensures your item is freshly printed just for you. Because of this dedicated process, it takes a few extra days to arrive.

  • 🚚 FREE Shipping to the UK & USA on all orders.
  • UK Estimated Delivery: 5 to 9 calendar days.
  • USA Estimated Delivery: 6 to 10 calendar days.

Returns: If your item arrives misprinted, damaged, or defective, contact us within 30 days and we will replace it immediately. Please check the size guide carefully before ordering; because everything is custom made, we do not accept returns for buyer's remorse.
When will I receive my order?

We source high-grade materials and use industry-leading, eco-friendly printing technology to ensure the cynical text stays crisp.

  • Apparel Care: Machine wash cold, inside-out, on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Tumble dry on low or, ideally, hang dry. Do not iron directly over the printed graphic.
What's my size?
Size Guide +
Size Length
(in / cm)		 Width
(in / cm)		 Chest
(in / cm)
XS 27 / 68.6 16 ½ / 42 31-34 / 78.7-86.4
S 28 / 71.1 18 / 45.7 34-37 / 86.4-94
M 29 / 73.7 20 / 50.8 38-41 / 96.5-104.1
L 30 / 76.2 22 / 55.9 42-45 / 106.7-114.3
XL 31 / 78.7 24 / 61 46-49 / 116.8-124.5
2XL 32 / 81.3 26 / 66 50-53 / 127-134.6
3XL 33 / 83.8 28 / 71.1 54-57 / 137.2-144.8
4XL 34 / 86.4 30 / 76.2 58-61 / 147.3-155

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