Skip to product information
Vintage style illustration on the back of a white t-shirt featuring a pug dog dressed as a detective in a trench coat and fedora, holding a magnifying glass. The bold text above and below reads Isaac Hunt, Private Investigations, I will relentlessly dig until I expose your deepest secrets
1/5
  • Vintage style illustration on the back of a white t-shirt featuring a pug dog dressed as a detective in a trench coat and fedora, holding a magnifying glass. The bold text above and below reads Isaac Hunt, Private Investigations, I will relentlessly dig until I expose your deepest secrets
  • Vintage style illustration on the back of a white t-shirt featuring a pug dog dressed as a detective in a trench coat and fedora, holding a magnifying glass. The bold text above and below reads Isaac Hunt, Private Investigations, I will relentlessly dig until I expose your deepest secrets
  • Vintage style illustration on the back of a white t-shirt featuring a pug dog dressed as a detective in a trench coat and fedora, holding a magnifying glass. The bold text above and below reads Isaac Hunt, Private Investigations, I will relentlessly dig until I expose your deepest secrets
  • Vintage style illustration on the back of a white t-shirt featuring a pug dog dressed as a detective in a trench coat and fedora, holding a magnifying glass. The bold text above and below reads Isaac Hunt, Private Investigations, I will relentlessly dig until I expose your deepest secrets
  • Vintage style illustration featuring a pug dog dressed as a detective in a trench coat and fedora, holding a magnifying glass. The bold text above and below reads Isaac Hunt, Private Investigations, I will relentlessly dig until I expose your deepest secrets
Isaac Hunt Private Investigations | Funny Rude Pug Detective Innuendo White Tee

Isaac Hunt Private Investigations | Funny Rude Pug Detective Innuendo White Tee

£21.99

Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating

1 2 3 4 5

"Investigating secrets in a tailored green suit and a trench coat is the only acceptable form of surveillance. I demand my deep secrets exposed and my wordplay thoroughly offensive. Highly approved for stakeout wear."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)

🚚 Estimated delivery:

Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.

Welcome to the corporate undercover department. This premium white cotton garment features a masterfully illustrated Sir Cucumber Dog in a trench coat, fedora, and gold-rimmed monocle peering through a magnifying glass, framed by the bold banner proclaiming "Private Investigations" and finished with the unforgettable sign-off: "I will relentlessly dig until I expose your deepest secrets." It is the ultimate casual uniform for anyone who appreciates canine sleuths, trench-coat noir, and making strangers read questionable sentences out loud.

The Detective Innuendo Hub This apparel asset targets the highly lucrative rude novelty sector. We entirely reject boring, plain streetwear in favour of classic detective mystery coupled with a very judgmental pug. It is the perfect garment for stakeouts, undercover pub visits, or simply enduring social gatherings with maximum sarcastic confidence. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog himself, who expects absolute surveillance precision and proper secret exposure in all investigative operations.

Targeted Gifting Solutions We provide logistical solutions for the chronically inappropriate. This rude t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a cheeky best friend, a deeply sarcastic relative, or a partner who fancies themselves a master sleuth.

Premium Textile Construction & Specifications We absolutely refuse to print our humorous designs on inferior fabrics. This garment is built to strict premium streetwear specifications, ensuring your domestic cheek is displayed on the highest quality canvas.

  • Fabric Composition: Crafted from 100 per cent combed and ring-spun cotton for an ultra-soft hand feel. (Note: Heather colour variants incorporate strategic polyester blends for structural depth).

  • Fabric Weight & Opacity: Lightweight durability at 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²). Engineered with a tight weave to maintain opacity and a clean silhouette under all lighting conditions.

  • Structural Integrity: Fully pre-shrunk fabric to withstand frequent washing and the daily grind of dealing with fools without losing form.

  • Tailoring & Fit: Features side-seamed construction for a structured retail fit and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to eliminate stretching across the neckline.

  • Corporate Compliance: When someone asks about your undercover case on the street, turn up your collar, point directly to the back hem, and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.

Colonial Translation

  • UK: Humour / Favour / Behaviour / Colours / Cheeky

  • US: Humor / Favor / Behavior / Colors / Sassy
Delivery & Returns

very product is custom manufactured to order. This prevents mass-production landfill waste and ensures your item is freshly printed just for you. Because of this dedicated process, it takes a few extra days to arrive.

  • 🚚 FREE Shipping to the UK & USA on all orders.
  • UK Estimated Delivery: 5 to 9 calendar days.
  • USA Estimated Delivery: 6 to 10 calendar days.

Returns: If your item arrives misprinted, damaged, or defective, contact us within 30 days and we will replace it immediately. Please check the size guide carefully before ordering; because everything is custom made, we do not accept returns for buyer's remorse.
When will I receive my order?

We source high-grade materials and use industry-leading, eco-friendly printing technology to ensure the cynical text stays crisp.

  • Apparel Care: Machine wash cold, inside-out, on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Tumble dry on low or, ideally, hang dry. Do not iron directly over the printed graphic.
What's my size?
Size Guide +
Size Length
(in / cm)		 Width
(in / cm)		 Chest
(in / cm)
XS 27 / 68.6 16 ½ / 42 31-34 / 78.7-86.4
S 28 / 71.1 18 / 45.7 34-37 / 86.4-94
M 29 / 73.7 20 / 50.8 38-41 / 96.5-104.1
L 30 / 76.2 22 / 55.9 42-45 / 106.7-114.3
XL 31 / 78.7 24 / 61 46-49 / 116.8-124.5
2XL 32 / 81.3 26 / 66 50-53 / 127-134.6
3XL 33 / 83.8 28 / 71.1 54-57 / 137.2-144.8
4XL 34 / 86.4 30 / 76.2 58-61 / 147.3-155

You may also like

A Recap for the Hopelessly Distracted.