Our Story (Sort Of)
We exist for one simple reason: to create gifts that make people properly laugh. We’re talking ugly, tea-spitting, can’t-breathe laughter that makes your nan question your life choices.
And the creative genius behind this noble cause? A grumpy pug with a cucumber eye mask. Cucumber Dog is our mascot, our spirit animal, and our unelected leader. When he’s not demanding snacks or farting with unnerving enthusiasm, he oversees our entire operation with the kind of lazy disdain most of us can only dream of.
From mugs that are ruder than your uncle after three pints, to cards that toe the line of decency and then gleefully leap over it, everything we design is made to be remembered.
The Brains of the Operation
Meet Cucumber Dog, the mutt behind the mayhem. He holds a PhD in Napping and a minor in Snack Procurement. His key contributions to the business include:
Snoring through important design meetings.
Growling at fonts he deems "too bloody cheerful."
Approving new slogans with a well-timed fart in the direction of the printer.
He is our CEO, our muse, and the reason our office smells faintly of dog biscuits and existential dread. Without him, we’d probably be a much more sensible, and infinitely more boring, company.
Our Glorious Mission (If You Insist)
Look, we’re not here to change the world. We’re here to make it a little less beige. Our mission statement was probably scribbled on a beer mat and involves three core principles:
Create genuine, out-loud laughs. The kind that makes you look like a weirdo on the bus.
Say the quiet part loud. We arm you with gifts that say what everyone's thinking but is too polite to mention.
Win the gift-giving game. Be the person who gives the gift that gets passed around the room, causing a mixture of horror and delight.
Whether it’s a mug declaring someone an "Absolute Bellend" or a birthday card for your favourite "Prick," we’ve got your back.
Why We Don't Have a Sad Warehouse Full of Mugs
Every single Cucumber Dog product is printed on demand. We do this for a few reasons:
Less Waste: We’re not into creating mountains of unsold tat that ends up in a landfill.
More Freedom: It means we can test out truly unhinged ideas without risking bankruptcy. That coaster that says “Give Me Some F*cking Peace”? It’s a bestseller. Who knew?
It's Made For You: It might take a fraction longer to arrive, but it was made with your questionable taste specifically in mind.
Free UK Shipping. No Bullsh*t.
Life is complicated enough without surprise shipping fees ruining your day at checkout. Everything on our site ships for free within the UK. No minimum spend. No catches. No soul-crushing small print.
Join Our Cult of Questionable Taste
If you've read this far, you're probably one of us. Follow our antics on social media, sign up for our newsletter (we promise not to be boring), or send us a truly filthy idea you think belongs on a mug. We’re always ready for a laugh—especially if it’s inappropriate.