🔐 Privacy Policy

Last updated: 27th April 2025
Because we care about your data (and because the law says we have to).

1. Who We Are

We’re Cucumber Dog — makers of rude mugs, inappropriate t-shirts, and gifts that make your nan gasp. Our website is: https://cucumberdog.com
You can contact us at: woof@cucumberdog.com

2. What Data We Collect

When you browse or buy from our site, we may collect:

  • Your name, email address, and delivery address
  • Your payment details (handled securely via Stripe, PayPal, or other processors — we never see your card number)
  • Order history and preferences
  • Website usage data (cookies, analytics)
  • Anything you send us in messages or emails (including weird mug ideas)

3. How We Use Your Data

We use your info to:

  • Process your orders and deliver your stuff
  • Email you order updates, offers (if you’ve opted in), or the occasional naughty discount
  • Improve our website experience (via cookies and analytics)
  • Deal with any issues or customer support requests

We do not sell your data. Ever. Not for money, not for fame, not even for biscuits.

4. Legal Basis for Processing

We collect and process personal data under one or more of the following:

  • Contractual: to fulfil your order
  • Consent: when you sign up for our newsletter
  • Legal obligation: like keeping financial records
  • Legitimate interest: to market our products (if you’re already a customer)

5. Sharing Your Data

We only share your data with:

  • Trusted third-party services (like Printful, Stripe, PayPal, Royal Mail, and Mailchimp) — to process your order and keep things running
  • Law enforcement or regulatory authorities, if legally required

We’ll never flog your data to advertisers or shady marketers.

6. Cookies (Sadly Not the Edible Kind)

Our site uses cookies to:

  • Make sure everything works properly (like your cart and login)
  • Track performance (via Google Analytics)
  • Run marketing (like reminding you of that sweary mug you left behind)

You can adjust your cookie settings in your browser at any time.

7. Your Rights (UK & GDPR)

You have the right to:

  • Access your data
  • Correct incorrect info
  • Ask us to delete your data (unless we need it for legal reasons)
  • Withdraw consent
  • Lodge a complaint with the ICO (Information Commissioner’s Office)

To do any of the above, email: woof@cucumberdog.com

8. How Long We Keep Your Data

We keep customer data for as long as necessary to:

  • Complete your order
  • Comply with tax and legal requirements
  • Provide good customer service (and so you don’t have to retype your info every time)

If you unsubscribe from emails, we stop sending you stuff immediately.

9. Keeping Your Data Safe

We use secure platforms, encrypted connections (HTTPS), and password protection to keep your data safe and sound. Payment data is handled through secure payment gateways — we never store your full card details.

10. Updates to This Policy

We may occasionally update this policy. If we do, we’ll post the new version here with a new date. We promise not to secretly start selling your info in the small print.

If you’ve made it this far — go get yourself a mug. You’ve earned it.
Contact us anytime at: woof@cucumberdog.com