My Warranty Expired Unisex Tee

For everyone whose get-up-and-go has finally got-up-and-gone. This hilarious tee is the official uniform for running on experience, not factory settings. It’s a brilliantly funny statement for milestone birthdays and anyone who now creaks more than the floorboards.

£19.99
Size Guide

Look, we all know it: your warranty ran out ages ago. And yet here you are, creaking, groaning, and somehow still surviving adulthood. This tee doesn’t just admit it—it celebrates it. Circular text wraps around a giant EXPIRED stamp, broadcasting to the world that you’re vintage, slightly unpredictable, and officially on “self-maintenance mode.”

Who it’s for:

  • Anyone who feels old before noon and needs a nap by 3 PM

  • Humans who laugh at their own aches, creaks, and “back in my day” stories

  • People who want to show the world they’re expired—but fabulous

Fabric & Fit – Because Even Expired Humans Deserve Style
This 100% cotton unisex classic tee isn’t just comfy—it helps you look sharp while pretending you’ve still got it together. The fit keeps its structure, hugs the edges nicely, and layers perfectly with your streetwear. Bonus: it’s extra trendy right now, so you can flex your expired-but-fabulous vibe in style.

Deets you need to know:

  • 100% cotton (Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester; Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester; Heather colors: 50/50)

  • Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170–180 g/m²) – comfy but not limp

  • Open-end yarn, tubular fabric, taped neck & shoulders

  • Double seams at sleeves & bottom hem for extra durability

  • Sourced globally from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh & Mexico—basically the world went into this tee

Color quirks:

  • White may look a touch off-white—think “aged like fine wine,” not “oops, laundry day.”

  • Natural has dark speckles—each one adds character, just like you.

On-demand magic:
We make this tee just for you the moment you order, which means a tiny wait. But here’s the upside: fewer tees wasted, less overproduction, and a happier planet.

Bonus perk: Free UK shipping on all orders (yes, really). Because even expired humans deserve a little treat.

How to Measure Your Tee (Cucumber Dog Style)
🅰
Length – “Top to Bottom”
Place the start of the tape at the top of the collar (Highest Point Shoulder). Run it straight down to the bottom hem. That’s your length!
🅱
Chest – “The Full Monty”
Wrap the tape around the fullest part of your chest. Keep it horizontal. That’s your chest size.
🅲
Sleeve Length – “Arm Candy”
Start the tape at the middle of the back collar. Follow the top seam to the shoulder, hold it, then pull down to the end of the sleeve. Boom, sleeve measured!

SizeLength (cm)Length (in)Chest (cm)Chest (in)
S7128″86–9434–37″
M7429″96–10438–41″
L7630″106–11442–45″
XL7931″116–12446–49″
2XL8132″126–13450–53″
WeightN/A

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