The Dog’s Real Schedule T-Shirt: The Brutally Honest Dog Owner Tee
Do you ever look at your dog, so peaceful and angelic, and wonder what’s really on their agenda for the day? Wonder no more. This is […]
Do you ever look at your dog, so peaceful and angelic, and wonder what’s really on their agenda for the day? Wonder no more.
This is the ultimate rude dog t-shirt and a truly terrifyingly accurate exposé. It reveals the unspoken itinerary that governs every single move your furry, four-legged roommate makes. From the 8 AM “crotch greetings” to the 4 PM “kisses,” this funny dog owner t-shirt answers the eternal question: “Where has that mouth actually been?”
It’s the perfect statement shirt for the seasoned owner who has seen it all and now simply accepts their gross, beautiful fate. If you’re looking for an honest dog lover gift—a graphic tee with a heavy dose of rude humour—this is it. Love is sometimes spelled L-I-C-K-I-N-G S-O-M-E-T-H-I-N-G G-R-O-S-S.
The design, featuring the secret schedule enclosed in a vibrant lime green border that matches our brand, is centered around the silhouette of your favorite plush pug, Sir Cucumber Dog!
Deets & Specs: The Technical Truth
This high-quality unisex t-shirt is the perfect piece of casual wear for accepting your destiny as a human napkin and head-rest.
Feel & Fit:
- Solid, structured feel: Made with durable open-end yarn and a fabric weight of 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).
- Seamless fit: Tubular fabric construction means no itchy side seams.
- Built to last: Features a taped neck and shoulders for durability, with a double seam at the sleeves and bottom hem.
Material Composition:
- Solid colors are 100% cotton.
- Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
- Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
- Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester.
Sourcing & Sustainability:
- Blank product is ethically sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico.
- Made-on-Demand: This product is created just for you when you order, which helps us reduce overproduction and waste. Thanks for making a thoughtful (and alarmingly honest) purchasing decision!
A Few Notes:
- The White color variant may appear slightly off-white rather than a pure bright white due to the natural properties of the cotton fabric.
- Dark color speckles are expected for the Natural color variant, giving it a rustic vibe.
Tags/Keywords: dog owner, dog gift, funny t-shirt, rude humour, sarcastic, pet owner, pet apparel, unisex t-shirt, graphic t-shirt, Cucumber Dog
(And because your dog’s lifestyle is expensive enough, this t-shirt UK is delivered with free shipping across the UK.)
Place the start of the tape at the top of the collar (Highest Point Shoulder). Run it straight down to the bottom hem. That’s your length!
Wrap the tape around the fullest part of your chest. Keep it horizontal. That’s your chest size.
Start the tape at the middle of the back collar. Follow the top seam to the shoulder, hold it, then pull down to the end of the sleeve. Boom, sleeve measured!
| Size | Length (cm) | Length (in) | Chest (cm) | Chest (in) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | 71 | 28″ | 86–94 | 34–37″ |
| M | 74 | 29″ | 96–104 | 38–41″ |
| L | 76 | 30″ | 106–114 | 42–45″ |
| XL | 79 | 31″ | 116–124 | 46–49″ |
| 2XL | 81 | 32″ | 126–134 | 50–53″ |
| Weight | N/A |
|---|
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