From the personal collection of Sir Cucumber Dog comes the ultimate statement shirt—a piece of rude humour so devastatingly simple, it needs only one word: Peasant.

This funny graphic tee is for those who appreciate wit as dry as a fine martini and a gaze as discerning as a pug with a monocle. It’s the perfect sarcastic t-shirt for making a minimalist, yet maximalist, impression without uttering a single syllable. Let the shirt do the judging for you.

Expertly designed for the person in your life who has everything—and is quietly judging everyone who doesn’t. This witty t-shirt is an unforgettable gift for him or gift for her, and a top-tier birthday gift for a friend with a superior sense of humour. It’s the ultimate piece of dog-themed apparel for the owner who channels their pet’s posh energy.

Crafted for comfort, this classic unisex t-shirt is perfect for your everyday casual wear, whether you’re gracing the dog park with your presence or observing the common folk from your favourite armchair. As a truly superior offering, this t-shirt UK comes with free shipping for all UK orders.

The Deets & Specs
Even a statement of pure class has practical specifications:

Solid, structured feel: Made with open-end yarn and a fabric weight of 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²).

Seamless fit: Tubular fabric construction means no itchy side seams.

Built to last: A taped neck and shoulders for durability, with a double seam at the sleeves and bottom hem.

Material Composition:

100% cotton for solid colors

Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester

Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester

Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester

Ethically Sourced: Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico.

A Few Things to Note
Due to the natural properties of the fabric, the White color variant may appear slightly off-white rather than a pure, bright white.

Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are totally expected for the color Natural, giving it a cool, rustic vibe.

This t-shirt is made on-demand, just for you. As soon as you place your regal order, we get to work creating your item. This is why it takes a bit longer to get to you, but it also means we’re not creating useless waste.

Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful (and devastatingly chic) purchasing decision!