Shipping Operations
Welcome to the official logistics directive. Sir Cucumber Dog has authorised these parameters to ensure maximum operational efficiency and absolute minimum correspondence.
Operational Territories
We currently fulfill and dispatch orders exclusively to the United States and Canada. Fulfillment for all other regions remains indefinitely suspended.
Shipping Tariffs
Standard shipping is complimentary on all orders exceeding $60. For orders below this threshold, standard carrier rates will be calculated and applied at checkout.
Production and Transit Schedules
We operate a strictly zero waste, print on demand framework. Your items are manufactured specifically for you upon receipt of your order. We do not hold excess inventory.
- Processing Time: 2 to 5 business days.
- Transit Time: 2 to 4 business days following dispatch.
- Total Estimated Delivery: 4 to 9 business days. (6-13 days is what our partner recommends however orders are often quicker.
Order Tracking
You will receive a dispatch confirmation email containing your tracking data once the parcel leaves the facility. Please review your spam or junk folder before contacting administrative staff.
Address Errors
If you have provided an incorrect shipping address, notify us immediately. If the order has not yet entered production, we will amend the file. If the order has already been dispatched, it cannot be rerouted, and you will be required to submit a new order.
Delivery Delays
Logistical delays occasionally occur due to severe weather, postal network failures, or general systemic collapse. If your parcel significantly exceeds the estimated delivery window, contact us and we will initiate an investigation.
Returns and Replacements
Because your item is a bespoke product manufactured specifically for you at the time of purchase, we do not accept returns or offer refunds for a change of mind. Please make your purchasing decisions with adequate forethought.
If your shipment arrives damaged or defective, email clear photographic evidence to woof@cucumberdog.com within 14 days of delivery. Jason will authorise an immediate replacement to resolve the operational failure.
Customer Support
For inquiries not addressed in this document, direct your correspondence to woof@cucumberdog.com.
Colonial Translation
- British English: Dispatch / Parcel / Bespoke / Authorise
- American English: Ship / Package / Custom / Authorize
- Context: Standard operating procedures for receiving your items without unnecessary complications or administrative bloat.