The Green Light for a Day Off: Why St George’s Day Should be a Bank Holiday!

Right then, you miserable lot! It’s Sir Cucumber Dog here, and I'm not afraid to say what needs to be said, even from beneath this ridiculously chic cucumber monocle.

It's about St George's Day, the 23rd of April. A day meant to be all red roses, valiant dragons, and, well, England. And yet, what happens? Nothing much! It's just a regular Tuesday, or a particularly dreary Thursday, where we’re all expected to work. Frankly, it’s a national scandal wrapped in a sausage roll.

I say we fix this nonsense. It’s high time St George’s Day was given the honour it deserves and declared a Bank Holiday.

Why the Fuss, you ask? (Don’t be thick.)

We’re a nation that loves a good day off, aren’t we? We’ll queue for it. We’ll complain about it. But when it comes to celebrating our very own Patron Saint, we just... don't. While our Celtic cousins in Scotland, Wales, and Ireland all get to raise a glass to their own saints, we’re left staring at a spreadsheet. It’s simply not cricket!

• Fairness for England: Saint David, Saint Patrick, and Saint Andrew all have their designated national days. Why is England’s national day treated like a second-class citizen? It’s a baffling omission and, quite frankly, a bit rude.

• Boosting National Morale (and the economy!): A mid-week or late-April holiday gives people a much-needed break from the tyranny of the daily grind. It encourages a bit of celebration, which means buying English ales, eating proper grub, and maybe even purchasing a hilarious, vaguely rude coaster or mug from an independent brand (hint, hint!).

• A Proper Cultural Celebration: St George’s Day is a perfect opportunity to celebrate the diverse, silly, and wonderful things that make England England. It’s not about outdated flag-waving; it's about connecting with our history, our literature (hello, Shakespeare's birthday!), our food, and our distinctly English sense of humour.

What Should You Do with Your Glorious Day Off?

Since I’m a plush pug in a cucumber suit, I know a thing or two about making the most of a day. If you were granted this Bank Holiday, here is Sir Cucumber Dog's approved itinerary:

1. Feast Like a Medieval Royal: Forget your fancy continental rubbish. Get a proper English roast dinner on the go. Yorkshire puddings, spuds roasted in goose fat, and gravy thicker than a politician's excuses. Or, for a simpler, ruder option: a proper pub lunch.

2. Embrace the Red Rose: Wear a red rose in your lapel. Not just a silly pin, a proper, thorny little bit of national pride. It’s traditional, subtle, and reminds everyone you’ve made an effort (which, let’s face it, is a very English thing to do).

3. Dragon Slaying (Optional): If you happen to encounter a dragon, a sharp glare and a well-aimed witty insult should suffice. If you can’t find a mythical beast, perhaps battle the queue at the local bakery. It requires similar levels of bravery.

4. Support Local, Think English: Use the day to explore your local history. Visit an English Heritage site, watch a Morris Dancing troupe, or, ideally, buy a brilliantly offensive T-shirt from a small, quirky brand that knows a thing or two about quality (again, ahem).

5. Be Unapologetically English: Moan about the weather, queue politely, drink a cup of tea, and be slightly awkward when accepting a compliment. Just embrace it. It’s a day for us.

The Verdict from this Very Important Vegetable-Dog

The argument is simple: St George’s Day is our national day, and we deserve to celebrate it properly, with a legal, glorious day off. It’s not just about a dead saint; it’s about a living, breathing culture that deserves a moment to catch its breath, have a pint, and fly the flag.

So, write to your MP, tell your friends, and start polishing your cucumber monocle in preparation. April 23rd: Time to put the ‘Bank’ back into Bank Holiday.

We have added a letter that can be simply copied and pasted. 

[Date]

The Right/Honourable [MP's Full Name] MP

House of Commons

London, [MP's Postcode]

---

 

Subject: The Urgent and Undignified Matter of St George’s Day (April 23rd) as a Bank Holiday

 

Dear [MP's Full Name],

I am writing to you today as a concerned constituent and a patriotic individual who feels a profound sense of national imbalance. I refer, of course, to the baffling and frankly rude omission of St George’s Day (April 23rd) from the annual list of Bank Holidays.

This is not a request for frivolous time off; this is a matter of national equity. Our counterparts in Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland rightly celebrate their respective Patron Saints with a designated public holiday. For England to be the exception is an oversight that diminishes our culture and undermines our national identity. It’s simply not cricket, and it is certainly not fair.

Granting Bank Holiday status to St George’s Day would provide a much-needed morale boost in the spring, encourage community celebration, and offer a valuable opportunity to support local culture and small businesses. More importantly, it would allow England to celebrate its heritage and history with the dignity afforded to the rest of the Union.

I urge you to throw your weight behind the movement to officially designate St George’s Day as a national Bank Holiday. Let us ensure that this significant date is properly recognised and celebrated, rather than being treated as just another dreary workday.

I look forward to your positive response and your decisive action on this important matter.

Yours sincerely (and with a degree of impatience),

[Your Full Name]

[Your Street Address/Postcode]

[Your Email Address]

The Stark Reality: Why England Gets the Raw End of the Deal

You’ve written the letter, you’re feeling righteously indignant, but now you need the figures to back up the cheek. Have a look at how many official Bank Holidays the nations of the UK currently get. The difference is scandalous!

🇬🇧 Bank Holidays by UK Nation (Annual Totals)

🚨 The Core Issue: Patron Saint’s Day

While the rest of the Union gets to down tools for their national figureheads, England gets nothing for St George:

• Scotland: St Andrew's Day is an official Bank Holiday (or observed on the nearest Monday).

• Northern Ireland: St Patrick's Day is an official Bank Holiday.

• Wales: Though St David's Day (1st March) is not currently an official Bank Holiday, it is widely celebrated and is often given as a day off by public sector bodies and local organisations, unlike St George's Day.

• England: St George’s Day (23rd April) is not a Bank Holiday. It's just a Tuesday where you're expected to pretend to care about a spreadsheet.

The maths are quite clear: we are missing at least one, and in some cases two, full days of rightful national celebration. It's an insult to the national fabric and a direct assault on the concept of a decent long weekend.