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Loading Inspirational Quote | Funny Anti Hustle T-Shirt
£21.99
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
"A highly accurate representation of my mental state whenever a human asks me a question. Do not wait for the bar to fill. The inspiration is never coming."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
The Anti Motivation Hub This garment targets the highly lucrative anti hustle and cynical tech sectors. We entirely reject the need to "rise and grind" in favour of doing the bare minimum. It is the perfect attire for Monday morning meetings, mandatory team building events, or any situation where someone might mistakenly expect you to be enthusiastic.
Targeted Gifting Solutions We provide logistical solutions for the chronically unmotivated. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a burnt out coworker, a cynical software developer, or a sibling who flatly refuses to participate in wellness culture.
Premium Organic Manufacturing We absolutely refuse to print our corporate apathy on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your lack of enthusiasm is displayed on the highest quality canvas.
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Construction: Crafted from 100% ring spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.
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High Contrast Sabotage: High resolution direct to garment printing ensures the muted grey typography and the vibrant neon purple pixelated loading bar pop perfectly against the dark fabric.
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Lightweight Armour: The 142 g/m² single jersey fabric provides a breathable but highly durable layer of protection against forced cheerfulness.
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Corporate Compliance: When a colleague inevitably asks you for advice while you are wearing this, simply point to your chest until they walk away. Document the awkward silence and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 68.6 | 42 | 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 86.4-94 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 147.3-155 |
Delivery & Returns
very product is custom manufactured to order. This prevents mass-production landfill waste and ensures your item is freshly printed just for you. Because of this dedicated process, it takes a few extra days to arrive.
- 🚚 FREE Shipping to the UK & USA on all orders.
- UK Estimated Delivery: 5 to 9 calendar days.
- USA Estimated Delivery: 6 to 10 calendar days.
Returns: If your item arrives misprinted, damaged, or defective, contact us within 30 days and we will replace it immediately. Please check the size guide carefully before ordering; because everything is custom made, we do not accept returns for buyer's remorse.
When will I receive my order?
We source high-grade materials and use industry-leading, eco-friendly printing technology to ensure the cynical text stays crisp.
- Apparel Care: Machine wash cold, inside-out, on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Tumble dry on low or, ideally, hang dry. Do not iron directly over the printed graphic.
What's my size?
Size Guide +
| Size | Length (in / cm) |
Width (in / cm) |
Chest (in / cm) |
| XS | 27 / 68.6 | 16 ½ / 42 | 31-34 / 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 28 / 71.1 | 18 / 45.7 | 34-37 / 86.4-94 |
| M | 29 / 73.7 | 20 / 50.8 | 38-41 / 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 30 / 76.2 | 22 / 55.9 | 42-45 / 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 31 / 78.7 | 24 / 61 | 46-49 / 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 32 / 81.3 | 26 / 66 | 50-53 / 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 33 / 83.8 | 28 / 71.1 | 54-57 / 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 34 / 86.4 | 30 / 76.2 | 58-61 / 147.3-155 |