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Wrong Direction Funny T-Shirt | Lost & Confused | Cucumber Dog
£21.99
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
"Luring the public into a false sense of security before revealing your mutual lack of direction is a masterclass in social sabotage. Highly approved for urban wandering and total operational failure."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
Welcome to the department of deliberate disorientation. This premium white t-shirt operates as a walking trap for anyone foolish enough to follow you. The front proudly declares, "The person behind me thinks I know where I'm going," luring pedestrians into a false sense of security. Once they pass you, the back print in our signature Cucumber Green delivers the final blow: "You are walking in the wrong direction. So am I."
It is the perfect attire for avoiding responsibility, confusing tourists, or simply surviving the daily commute with maximum cynicism. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who expects proper administrative apathy whether you know your destination or not.
Material & Care Specifications
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Fabric Construction: Crafted from 100 per cent combed and ring-spun cotton for a sturdy, premium feel against the skin.
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Fabric Weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) for a lightweight, breathable fit perfect for aimless wandering.
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Garment Durability: Pre-shrunk fabric with side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to ensure structural integrity wash after wash.
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Care: Machine wash cold inside out with similar colours. Tumble dry on low heat. Do not iron directly over the printed text.
Colonial Translation
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UK: Humour / Favour / Behaviour / Colours / Cheeky / Cosy
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US: Humor / Favor / Behavior / Colors / Sassy / Cozy
Return policy
The Official Grievance Policy
Our primary objective is for you to be entirely satisfied with your apparel so that neither of us has to deal with extra paperwork. However, if your purchase has failed to meet your exceptionally high standards—or if we have somehow made a genuine error—please inform us immediately.
We will deploy our best administrative efforts to investigate the issue and make it right. Do not suffer in silence; complain to us directly so we can resolve the problem with maximum efficiency and minimum fuss.
- To initiate a return or report an issue, please contact our support team with your order number.
Shipping
Manufacturing
Our products are manufactured both locally and globally. We carefully select our manufacturing partners to ensure our products are high quality and a fair value.
We will work quickly to ship your order as soon as possible. Once your order has shipped, you will receive an email with further information. Delivery times vary depending on your location.
Delivery & Returns
very product is custom manufactured to order. This prevents mass-production landfill waste and ensures your item is freshly printed just for you. Because of this dedicated process, it takes a few extra days to arrive.
- 🚚 FREE Shipping to the UK & USA on all orders.
- UK Estimated Delivery: 5 to 9 calendar days.
- USA Estimated Delivery: 6 to 10 calendar days.
Returns: If your item arrives misprinted, damaged, or defective, contact us within 30 days and we will replace it immediately. Please check the size guide carefully before ordering; because everything is custom made, we do not accept returns for buyer's remorse.
When will I receive my order?
We source high-grade materials and use industry-leading, eco-friendly printing technology to ensure the cynical text stays crisp.
- Apparel Care: Machine wash cold, inside-out, on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Tumble dry on low or, ideally, hang dry. Do not iron directly over the printed graphic.
What's my size?
Size Guide +
| Size | Length (in / cm) |
Width (in / cm) |
Chest (in / cm) |
| XS | 27 / 68.6 | 16 ½ / 42 | 31-34 / 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 28 / 71.1 | 18 / 45.7 | 34-37 / 86.4-94 |
| M | 29 / 73.7 | 20 / 50.8 | 38-41 / 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 30 / 76.2 | 22 / 55.9 | 42-45 / 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 31 / 78.7 | 24 / 61 | 46-49 / 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 32 / 81.3 | 26 / 66 | 50-53 / 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 33 / 83.8 | 28 / 71.1 | 54-57 / 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 34 / 86.4 | 30 / 76.2 | 58-61 / 147.3-155 |