The Oxymoronic Society Collection

Saying goodbye does not have to involve fake tears and a heavily signed, generic card. Welcome to the Sarcastic Goodbye collection, curated specifically for the joyous occasion of an annoying colleague resigning, a tedious manager taking early retirement, or a terrible partner finally packing their bags. Whether you are searching for rude coworker leaving gifts, toasting to a bitter breakup with a funny divorce mug, or celebrating a long overdue office departure with a sarcastic new job present, these premium ceramic mugs deliver the perfect blunt message.

Featuring our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream aesthetic, each piece of novelty drinkware is fully endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, our esteemed plush pug Chairman who oversees operations in his bespoke cucumber print suit, yellow bow tie, and gleaming monocle. These highly offensive retirement presents and rude leaving gifts are meticulously designed to bring a touch of dapper hostility to any farewell party. Stop pretending you will actually stay in touch and give them a funny farewell mug, a sarcastic "sorry you are leaving" gag gift, or a blunt breakup present that honestly expresses your profound relief.

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Frequently asked questions
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?

Sir Cucumber Dog is our distinguished Chairman—a plush pug with discerning taste, a bespoke cucumber-print suit, and a monocle made from the finest cucumber slice. He oversees all operations, ensuring every design we release meets our high standards for rude, funny, and unapologetic British wit. He is a busy pug; do not expect a personal reply.
What is the Cucumber Dog brand style?

We don’t do boring. We specialize in "hostile workplace" humour, cheeky slogans, and sarcastic visuals. Our aesthetic is rooted in vintage typography, high-end illustration, and our signature Cucumber Green (#2d4c31) and Cucumber Cream (#FAF5DC) palette. If it doesn't make you giggle or make your HR department sweat, we aren't printing it.
Where do you ship to?

We ship globally from our decentralized production network. Every order is fulfilled in the country of purchase (UK or USA) to ensure the fastest possible transit times and to minimize our carbon footprint.
Are these designs available anywhere else?

No. Every design is proprietary to the Cucumber Dog brand. You will not find Sir Cucumber Dog elsewhere. If you see our designs on another store, they are cheap knockoffs, and the Chairman is likely already preparing legal action.
I have a stupid question?

There are no stupid questions here, only people who haven’t had enough caffeine yet. If you are confused, it is likely because we were too busy being funny to be clear. Send your question over to our support team—they are much more patient than Sir Cucumber Dog and will be happy to clear things up for you without judging your lack of focus.

Contact Our Support Minions at woof@cucumberdog.com