Sir Cucumber Dog knows kids are chaos, so why dress them like they are little angels? Our range of rude tees and grows for babies and children is designed for parents who have kept their sense of humour (and their sanity) intact. Featuring premium heavy cotton and sustainable organic materials, these designs are for the little terrors who are already causing trouble. Shop the collection and let the world know exactly what you are dealing with.
Sir Cucumber Dog is our distinguished Chairman—a plush pug with discerning taste, a bespoke cucumber-print suit, and a monocle made from the finest cucumber slice. He oversees all operations, ensuring every design we release meets our high standards for rude, funny, and unapologetic British wit. He is a busy pug; do not expect a personal reply.
We don’t do boring. We specialize in "hostile workplace" humour, cheeky slogans, and sarcastic visuals. Our aesthetic is rooted in vintage typography, high-end illustration, and our signature Cucumber Green (#2d4c31) and Cucumber Cream (#FAF5DC) palette. If it doesn't make you giggle or make your HR department sweat, we aren't printing it.
We ship globally from our decentralized production network. Every order is fulfilled in the country of purchase (UK or USA) to ensure the fastest possible transit times and to minimize our carbon footprint.
No. Every design is proprietary to the Cucumber Dog brand. You will not find Sir Cucumber Dog elsewhere. If you see our designs on another store, they are cheap knockoffs, and the Chairman is likely already preparing legal action.
There are no stupid questions here, only people who haven’t had enough caffeine yet. If you are confused, it is likely because we were too busy being funny to be clear. Send your question over to our support team—they are much more patient than Sir Cucumber Dog and will be happy to clear things up for you without judging your lack of focus.
Contact Our Support Minions at woof@cucumberdog.com
