Don't Think About Blinking T-Shirt | Mind Games Collection

You are now manually breathing. Your tongue feels weird in your mouth. And yes... don't think about blinking.

Gotcha.

This t-shirt is the ultimate act of passive-aggressive psychological warfare, and a crown jewel in our 'Mind Games' collection. It's designed to do one simple thing: make everyone who reads it suddenly, painfully aware of their own eyelids.

Sir Cucumber Dog, in his full posh and grumpy glory, is just here to watch. His cucumber monocle isn't just for show; it's for staring, unblinking, into the very soul of the person you've just mentally broken.

This tee is the perfect way to:

• Cause mild, undefinable discomfort in lifts.

• Win staring contests before they've even begun.

• Ruin the concentration of everyone in the queue behind you.

• Watch friends and strangers descend into a dry-eyed, twitchy-lidded madness.

Crafted from premium soft cotton (because distracting people from their autonomic bodily functions shouldn't be uncomfortable for you), this shirt is less a piece of clothing and more a weapon of mass irritation. Wear it and enjoy the power.

The Boring (But Important) Specs

Look, we know you're just here for the rude pug, but you're also buying a t-shirt. Even a petty prankster like Sir Cucumber Dog appreciates quality. We can't have you looking like a total slob while you're silently giggling at everyone.

So, here's the tea on what you're actually buying.

• The Guts: It’s a solid, 100% cotton tee. Soft, breathable, and perfect for looking composed while you create chaos.

• The Fancy Blends: If you're picking a "special" colour, the materials change. Don't act surprised.

  • Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester (for that athletic "I'm about to run away after this prank" look).

  • Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester (barely different, but sounds fancier).

  • Heather Colours: A 50/50 split of cotton and polyester (because you're complicated).

• The He-Man Build: This isn't some flimsy rag. It’s a respectable 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²) fabric. It’s built with open-end yarn and tubular fabric, which means it's a classic tee with no annoying side seams to distract you from your mischief.

• The Stuff That Stops It From Falling Apart: We taped the neck and shoulders and put double seams on the sleeves and bottom hem. This shirt will likely outlast the patience of everyone you prank.

• Sourcing: The blank shirt is sourced from places like Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico. Now you know.

A Few Annoying Disclaimers

(Read this before you complain to us.)

• On the Colour "White": Our "White" shirt is more of an "off-white." It's not the blinding, angelic white of a new appliance. Think... the colour of a slightly disappointed cloud.

• On the Colour "Natural": This colour has little dark speckles in it. That is intentional. It's part of the rustic charm. Don't email us about "specks." We will judge you.

Now, For the "Good Person" Part

We don't just have a giant, dusty warehouse full of these things like some soulless corporation. When you place an order, we make this product especially for you.

Yes, this means it takes a bit longer to get to your doorstep. Have patience. Your new uniform for causing minor chaos can wait a few extra days.

Why do we do this? It's called "on-demand," and it means we don't make massive piles of crap that end up in a landfill. It cuts down on overproduction.

So, while you may be a public nuisance on the inside, thank you for accidentally making a thoughtful purchasing decision and doing a good thing for the planet. Go you.

Size guide