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FORGOTTEN ANYTHING? Essential Indoor Check-Out Mat
£31.99
Estimated delivery:
🚚 FREE Shipping to the UK & USA
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
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"I am not your personal assistant. Check your own pockets before you leave."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
Are you searching for rude door mats UK to keep your household in check? The 'Forgotten Anything?' funny indoor door mat from Cucumber Dog delivers exactly that. Measuring 60 x 40 cm with a sturdy non slip rubber base, this novelty door mat protects your floors while reminding everyone of their sheer incompetence right before they leave the house.
A boring welcome mat is a wasted opportunity. Let our Chief Judgement Officer, Sir Cucumber Dog, serve as the final sarcastic checkpoint before anyone walks out the front door.
This highly passive aggressive indoor mat asks the ultimate question: Forgotten anything? Whether it is their keys, their wallet, or their remaining shred of dignity, this mat is the perfect sarcastic homeware addition for anyone who is tired of answering that exact question. Designed to perfectly complement our signature Cucumber Green and Cucumber Cream aesthetic, because apparently, being slightly hostile does not mean you cannot protect your carpets in style at the same time.
Product Specifications:
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Brand: Cucumber Dog
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Dimensions: 60 x 40 cm overall size (57 x 37 cm printable area)
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Base Material: Highly durable, non slip rubber to survive heavy household foot traffic
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Placement: Designed strictly for indoor use (hallways, utility rooms, or right by the front door for maximum guilt tripping)
Colonial Translation (For Our Lost US Visitors)
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Forgotten Anything: Did you forget something?
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Indoor Mat: An entryway rug or mudroom mat.
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Utility Room: Laundry room or mudroom. (Please note: While we appreciate your interest in British sarcasm, this specific mat is currently shipping exclusively within the UK).
Shipping & Returns
Return policy
Our goal is for every customer to be totally satisfied with their purchase. If this isn't the case, let us know and we'll do our best to work with you to make it right.
Shipping
We will work quickly to ship your order as soon as possible. Once your order has shipped, you will receive an email with further information. Delivery times vary depending on your location.
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for delivery.
- Cost: £0.00. Every order ships FREE within the UK & USA.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3-5 business days for production before it departs our green-lit HQ.
- Returns: If it arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we’ll sort it. No stress, no fuss.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your size. Our funny slogan t-shirts and premium apparel use standard UK unisex sizing. Please consult the dedicated size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking a moment to measure a shirt you already own is the best way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
How long does delivery take?
We are unable to accept returns on certain items. These will be carefully marked before purchase.
When will I get my order?
Your new apparel or rude accessory is printed specifically for you. This sustainable print on demand process means production takes roughly 2 to 5 business days. Once your item is freshly printed, we will dispatch your order and provide a tracking link. Standard shipping within the UK and the US is completely free.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.