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Cucumber Dog "I Don't Like You" Mug | Rude Sarcastic Gift
$25.00
Free over $60. Fulfilled locally in North America. No hidden fees, no overseas logistics drama.
Product Description
Honesty is the best policy. Usually.
Some mornings, you just need to let the world know exactly where they stand before you’ve even finished your first coffee. This Cucumber Dog mug features the iconic Sir Cucumber Dog in his signature green suit, delivering the blunt, sarcastic message that everyone else is thinking, but only you (and the pug) are brave enough to say.
Whether it’s for the office, the kitchen, or as a gift for that one person who appreciates a bit of "rude and funny" humor, this mug is the ultimate conversation starter (or finisher).
Why it’s better than your average mug:
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Sir Cucumber Dog Approved: High-quality print featuring the most judgmental pug in the business.
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Two Sizes for Two Moods: Available in a standard 11 oz for a quick caffeine hit, or a massive 15 oz for those days when "I don't like you" needs to last all morning.
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Built for Real Life: Dishwasher and microwave safe. Because Sir Cucumber Dog doesn't expect you to do the washing up by hand.
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Safe for Humans: Lead and BPA-free ceramic, ensuring your sarcasm remains the only toxic thing in the room.
Crafted to Order
At Cucumber Dog, we don’t believe in dusty warehouses. Your mug is created specifically for you the moment you order it. This reduces waste and ensures your funny pug gift arrives fresh and ready to offend.
Free UK Shipping. Sir Cucumber Dog covers the delivery costs on every single order. No hidden fees, just zero bullsh*t.
Shipping & Returns
Shipping
- Cost: Free on orders over $60.
- Delivery: Exclusively shipping within the USA and Canada. Every order is fulfilled locally.
- Timing: Your item is crafted specifically for you. Please allow 3 to 5 business days for production before your freshly printed order is shipped.
Returns
- Because our apparel is printed on demand just for you, we strictly do not accept returns or refunds if you simply change your mind. If the item arrives damaged or the pug messed up the print, we will sort it out. No stress, no fuss.
Colonial Translation
- Sort it out: Fix the issue.
- Change of mind: Buyer's remorse.
Frequently asked questions
How do I choose the correct size?
Do not guess your measurements. Our premium apparel uses standard unisex sizing, but assuming you know your exact fit is a terrible strategy. Because our inventory is strictly printed on demand, we absolutely do not accept returns or process refunds if you simply order the wrong size or change your mind. Returns and exchanges are reserved solely for genuinely damaged or defective goods.
Please consult the highly accurate size guide located on this specific product page before adding the item to your basket. Taking two minutes to measure a garment you already own is the most effective way to ensure a proper fit and avoid looking like a burst sausage.
| Size | Body Length (inches) | Chest Width (inches) | Sleeve Length (inches) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 ⅛ | 19 ½ | 8 ⅞ |
| M | 28 ¾ | 21 | 9 ½ |
| L | 29 ½ | 22 ¼ | 9 ⅝ |
| XL | 30 ¼ | 23 ⅜ | 9 ⅞ |
| 2XL | 31 ⅛ | 25.00 | 10 |
| 3XL | 31 ⅞ | 26 ⅝ | 10 ¼ |
| 4XL | 32 ⅝ | 28 ½ | 10 ¼ |
| 5XL | 33 ⅛ | 30 ½ | 10 ¼ |
How long does delivery take?
very piece of apparel or sarcastic accessory is custom made to order. This print on demand approach means production takes between 2 to 5 business days. Once printed, the package goes out with a tracking link. Standard shipping is calculated at checkout, with free shipping automatically unlocked on orders over $60.
What is your return policy?
As every single item is a bespoke masterpiece printed to order, we do not accept returns or exchanges for a sudden change of heart or incorrect sizing. However, if your item arrives misprinted, faulty, or damaged by the courier, please contact our support team immediately with a clear photograph so we can resolve the issue.
How do I wash and care for this item?
Treat your new goods with the respect they deserve. Wash our organic cotton t-shirts inside out on a cool wash (30 degrees Celsius) and allow them to air dry to maintain their shape. Standard ceramic mugs are entirely dishwasher safe, but our heat colour changing mugs are delicate divas that must be washed by hand.
Who is Sir Cucumber Dog?
A gentleman does not typically reveal his secrets, but for you, I will make an exception. I am Sir Cucumber Dog: a plush pug of unparalleled sophistication, permanently squeezed into a bespoke green cucumber print suit. The cucumber monocle is purely for judging your life choices, and the yellow bow tie is because I am not a savage.
As the Chairman of this establishment, I oversee a curated collection of rude and funny designs across mugs, tees, and coasters, all presented in our signature Cucumber green and Cucumber cream. I am the physical embodiment of a lifestyle that prioritises sharp tailoring, strong gin, and an overwhelming disdain for the general public.