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The Stroop Effect Trap | Funny Cognitive Sabotage T-Shirt
£21.99
Sir Cucumber Dog's Offensiveness Rating
"Watching a human struggle to process basic primary colours brings me immense joy. It proves how fundamentally flawed your operating systems truly are. Wear this and watch them malfunction. I highly approve."
- CJO (Chief Judgement Officer)
🚚 Estimated delivery:
Sir Cucumber Dog pays for shipping. UK & US delivery is on us! Each order is fulfilled in the country of order.
The Neurological Sabotage Hub This garment targets the highly lucrative psychology nerd and sarcastic prankster sectors. We entirely reject straightforward graphic design in favour of deliberate optical confusion. It is the perfect attire for university lectures, crowded waiting rooms, or quietly watching your relatives struggle to read basic vocabulary. Formally endorsed by Sir Cucumber Dog, who finds human intellectual limitations highly amusing.
Targeted Gifting Solutions We provide logistical solutions for the dedicated intellectual troll. This sarcastic t-shirt serves as the perfect low budget, high impact gift for a psychology student, an irritating older sibling, or a cynical coworker who enjoys giving the general public minor headaches.
Premium Organic Manufacturing We absolutely refuse to print our cognitive traps on inferior materials. This garment is built to strict premium specifications, ensuring your biological sabotage is displayed on the highest quality canvas.
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Organic Construction: Crafted from 100% ring spun combed cotton. Exceptionally soft and entirely free from agricultural peasantry.
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High Contrast Disruption: High resolution direct to garment printing ensures the deceptive red, green, and blue typography pops violently against the crisp white fabric, forcing maximum reading comprehension failure.
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Structural Integrity: Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colours contain a mandatory polyester blend). Pre-shrunk to prevent laundry-induced rage.
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Architectural Support: Engineered with rigid side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to ensure the garment does not collapse under the weight of human interaction.
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Lightweight Armour: The 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²) fabric weight provides a breathable layer of protection against the general public.
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Mandatory Transparency Clause: Management accepts zero liability for your undergarment choices. This lightweight fabric is inherently sheer to maximise breathability. Lighter colours will become semi transparent under direct lighting. Please deploy adequate base layers unless you are intentionally seeking an HR violation.
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Corporate Compliance: When you successfully force a stranger to stutter while reading your shirt, document their confusion and tag @thecucumberdog on Instagram using #thecucumberdog.
Return policy
The Official Grievance Policy
Our primary objective is for you to be entirely satisfied with your apparel so that neither of us has to deal with extra paperwork. However, if your purchase has failed to meet your exceptionally high standards—or if we have somehow made a genuine error—please inform us immediately.
We will deploy our best administrative efforts to investigate the issue and make it right. Do not suffer in silence; complain to us directly so we can resolve the problem with maximum efficiency and minimum fuss.
- To initiate a return or report an issue, please contact our support team with your order number.
Shipping
Manufacturing
Our products are manufactured both locally and globally. We carefully select our manufacturing partners to ensure our products are high quality and a fair value.
We will work quickly to ship your order as soon as possible. Once your order has shipped, you will receive an email with further information. Delivery times vary depending on your location.
Delivery & Returns
very product is custom manufactured to order. This prevents mass-production landfill waste and ensures your item is freshly printed just for you. Because of this dedicated process, it takes a few extra days to arrive.
- 🚚 FREE Shipping to the UK & USA on all orders.
- UK Estimated Delivery: 5 to 9 calendar days.
- USA Estimated Delivery: 6 to 10 calendar days.
Returns: If your item arrives misprinted, damaged, or defective, contact us within 30 days and we will replace it immediately. Please check the size guide carefully before ordering; because everything is custom made, we do not accept returns for buyer's remorse.
When will I receive my order?
We source high-grade materials and use industry-leading, eco-friendly printing technology to ensure the cynical text stays crisp.
- Apparel Care: Machine wash cold, inside-out, on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Tumble dry on low or, ideally, hang dry. Do not iron directly over the printed graphic.
What's my size?
Size Guide +
| Size | Length (in / cm) |
Width (in / cm) |
Chest (in / cm) |
| XS | 27 / 68.6 | 16 ½ / 42 | 31-34 / 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 28 / 71.1 | 18 / 45.7 | 34-37 / 86.4-94 |
| M | 29 / 73.7 | 20 / 50.8 | 38-41 / 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 30 / 76.2 | 22 / 55.9 | 42-45 / 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 31 / 78.7 | 24 / 61 | 46-49 / 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 32 / 81.3 | 26 / 66 | 50-53 / 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 33 / 83.8 | 28 / 71.1 | 54-57 / 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 34 / 86.4 | 30 / 76.2 | 58-61 / 147.3-155 |